The Last Time You Pooped Your Pants...

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...Or pee'd the bed, etc. The last time you urinated or defecated in an inappropriate place. Maybe you were sick, maybe you 9, maybe you were drunk... or maybe you were drunksick at 9.

(Feel free to post with a pseudonym if it's a really juicy tale.)

― andy, Friday, 16 January 2004 17:32 (twenty-two years ago)

I think we have had a thread about this before.

― Darcus How? (nordicskilla), Friday, 16 January 2004 17:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Have You Ever Shit Your Pants?

― Darcus How? (nordicskilla), Friday, 16 January 2004 17:35 (twenty-two years ago)

I was on a new medication with some unpleasant and extremely unexpected side effects.

― not telling, Friday, 16 January 2004 17:35 (twenty-two years ago)

This isn't "have you ever" - we can assume everyone has at one time or another - this is "when did you last" and includes peeing the bed, etc. Completely different.

― andy, Friday, 16 January 2004 17:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Sorry to be so...anal.

― Darcus How? (nordicskilla), Friday, 16 January 2004 17:44 (twenty-two years ago)

It was sort of on Monday night. I was out doing laundry and after I'd loaded my stuff into the car I walked over to the Timmy's for an extra large double-double (big mistake). I then went to Safeway. Getting out of the car I felt one turtling but I though it would be ok so I went and got my food. I should've got some diapers but more on that soon. I started to drive home and the cramps started. I felt like maybe I could make it so I didn't hurry but by the time I got home I was pretty sure I was too late. I started to walk towards the door and just accepted the fact that I would be cleaning my drawers out with a sand shovel in a few minutes and release... and release... I was worried shit would be dripping out and someone would see but nothing like that happened. Now here's where the story gets weird. I managed to make it up to my place, got the door open, ripped my boots off and ran into the bathroom barely getting my pants down before the levee broke. I was afraid to look but had to - THERE WAS NOTHING IN MY SHORTS! Turns out my ass is so fucking fat that the shit I released didn't actually make its way out of my clenched buttcheeks. Pretty lucky. Anyway, long story short - I guess the last time was still the one I talked about on the other thread.

― Bryan (Bryan), Friday, 16 January 2004 18:03 (twenty-two years ago)

hahaha.

― Chris V (Chris V), Friday, 16 January 2004 18:07 (twenty-two years ago)

I had an emergency walking down the street in Sydney, after a night of drinking Lambrusco. I ran into a pub, but it was a little too late. I cut out my shorts with a swiss army knife and shoved them up in the false drop ceiling and went on my way.

I thought I'd peed the bed a couple years ago, but I had just (brilliantly) decided to bring a can of beer to bed, which emptied its contents. Bummer.

― andy, Friday, 16 January 2004 18:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Not the same, but, I think this qualifies as my Ben Stiller moment: At work one day, I spilt some coffee on my chair then accidentally sat on it, brown-staining the ass of my white khaki trousers. I spent the rest of the day with my shirt untucked to cover the stain, and my boss kept yelling at me to tuck my shirt in. What to explain? By the end of the day, she was really pissed, so I showed her the stain on my butt. Kind of a lose/lose situation.

― Chuck Tatum (Chuck Tatum), Friday, 16 January 2004 18:21 (twenty-two years ago)

I thought I'd peed the bed a couple years ago, but I had just (brilliantly) decided to bring a can of beer to bed, which emptied its contents.
Sounds like you just cut out the middle man.
(And when I say "middle man", I mean...)

http://www.crayonsetc.com/kerry/archives/catinpants.jpg

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Friday, 16 January 2004 19:10 (twenty-two years ago)

OMG BRYAN JESUS H CHRIST!

― Casuistry (Chris P), Friday, 16 January 2004 20:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Pretty lucky.

I am still baffled by this sentence's inclusion.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 16 January 2004 20:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Actually, Bryan, have you ever read any Rabelais? You might enjoy it.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Friday, 16 January 2004 20:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Also now that I have been to Bryan's place and can visualize that trip from the parking lot to the bathroom that story is far, far too vivid. That and the word "turtling".

― Casuistry (Chris P), Friday, 16 January 2004 20:08 (twenty-two years ago)

three years pass...

omg

― elan, Monday, 17 December 2007 02:43 (eighteen years ago)

I was the worst kind of troll, wasn't I?

― Bryan, Monday, 17 December 2007 06:52 (eighteen years ago)

far from it

― electricsound, Monday, 17 December 2007 07:12 (eighteen years ago)

that and the word "turtling"

^^^^^^^^^^^^ OTM

― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Monday, 17 December 2007 07:35 (eighteen years ago)

bryan reading that story made my night

― strgn, Monday, 17 December 2007 07:38 (eighteen years ago)

hilarity ensues.

― the table is the table, Monday, 17 December 2007 07:43 (eighteen years ago)

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