Appraise Your Genitals

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How handsome is your hog?
How cute is your cooter?

― 2 Pretty 4 Porn (DarrenK), Thursday, 22 January 2004 04:43 (twenty-two years ago)

i don't think it's especially grotesque but i ain't about to start waving it about in public or nothing

― the surface noise (electricsound), Thursday, 22 January 2004 04:46 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm pretty happy with my thingamajig. Only a slight, imperceptible up-leftward curve. Wouldn't exactly call it a veiny one, but it does have a respectable amount of topographical character. About 6-7 inches rock, pretty hilarious limp.

― 2 Pretty 4 Porn (DarrenK), Thursday, 22 January 2004 04:46 (twenty-two years ago)

You're not required to go into that much detail, but try to be brave.

― 2 Pretty 4 Porn (DarrenK), Thursday, 22 January 2004 04:48 (twenty-two years ago)

I wouldn't wave mine in public either. Something about public, non-sexual situations convinces it it should transform into 'travel size'. For some strange reason, proximity to water does this too. Even showers.

― 2 Pretty 4 Porn (DarrenK), Thursday, 22 January 2004 04:50 (twenty-two years ago)

$34,565

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 22 January 2004 04:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Winner.

(x-post Oops wins)

― Matt (Matt), Thursday, 22 January 2004 04:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Not so fast, pal, there's the matter of luxury tax.

― 2 Pretty 4 Porn (DarrenK), Thursday, 22 January 2004 04:54 (twenty-two years ago)

My wang does it's own taxing, usually on dat ass.

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 22 January 2004 04:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh jeez it's me for penury etc, oh oh I have to wear the big wooden sign saying "Gosh what a marvellous cock I have" whilst walking slowly thru the streets of Harlow or somewhere equally benighted

― Matt (Matt), Thursday, 22 January 2004 04:57 (twenty-two years ago)

This is a serious query. I think it's refreshing how sexy you are in the conventional or even unconventional sense has no bearing on how attractive your genitals are. Paris Hilton's lunchbox is pretty messy, while the mousy, unassuming AM/PM cashier may be sitting on a marshmallow masterpiece!

― 2 Pretty 4 Porn (DarrenK), Thursday, 22 January 2004 04:59 (twenty-two years ago)

What in the world constitutes a "marshmallow masterpiece" versus a "messy lunchbox"?

― Allyzay, Thursday, 22 January 2004 05:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Well then why not ask the question that way? Then people can talk about whether, in their experience, pretty gentials come with pretty faces or bodies, or not, or what.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Thursday, 22 January 2004 05:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Dubya?

― 2 Pretty 4 Porn (DarrenK), Thursday, 22 January 2004 05:01 (twenty-two years ago)

(That was an xpost, Ally has the better question.)

― Casuistry (Chris P), Thursday, 22 January 2004 05:02 (twenty-two years ago)

lady, if you have to ask...
(sorry couldn't resist)

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 22 January 2004 05:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Give me nostalgic joy, give me nostalgic joy or I'll kill you stone dead, you heartless fucking bastard.

There is no joy. The internet is dead to me now. YOU HAVE NO JOY.

― Matt (Matt), Thursday, 22 January 2004 05:04 (twenty-two years ago)

I really want to know though. I mean I didn't really notice Paris Hilton's cooch that much on the tape, what made it unsavory? I am just curious as to what constitutes good versus bad genitals here.

― Allyzay, Thursday, 22 January 2004 05:05 (twenty-two years ago)

hmmm good genitals = the ones attached to the girl i fancy i'd say

― the surface noise (electricsound), Thursday, 22 January 2004 05:06 (twenty-two years ago)

looks like it was wearing a hat while lying out in the sun all summer.
long enough and thick.
slight left hook.
has a funky beat, you could dance to it.

78 out of 100

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 22 January 2004 05:06 (twenty-two years ago)

Ally I guess it just has to be not too huge and flappy, as well as symmetrical.

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 22 January 2004 05:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Allyzay, I'm not basing my judgement on Ms. Hilton's twinznat on the video, but on the paparrazzi shot of her getting out of the automobile without panties. It looks like a party with not enough chairs.

― 2 Pretty 4 Porn (DarrenK), Thursday, 22 January 2004 05:08 (twenty-two years ago)

HUGE AND FLAPPY?

― Allyzay, Thursday, 22 January 2004 05:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Ah, now it all becomes clear - you never saw Dumbo!

― 2 Pretty 4 Porn (DarrenK), Thursday, 22 January 2004 05:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Well, as it appears that aside from myself, oops, and mr. noise, people here must have theoretical prosthetics that excuse them from thinking critically about genitals, I'd like to ask you a less loaded question: ever gone nuts with a Sharpie on your slimy bits? Go go graffiti!

― 2 Pretty 4 Porn (DarrenK), Thursday, 22 January 2004 05:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Wee, I think I'm gonna be a SHARK today! *tilts head sideways* Yup, that's a shark!

― 2 Pretty 4 Porn (DarrenK), Thursday, 22 January 2004 05:25 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.quartzcity.net/albums/nyc2004/IMG_1045.sized.jpg

― aleksandr supertramp (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 22 January 2004 05:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Darrenscoq, what's wrong with you, exactly?

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Thursday, 22 January 2004 05:40 (twenty-two years ago)

As long as you're not in any pain, it's prob. none of my business, I guess.

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Thursday, 22 January 2004 05:40 (twenty-two years ago)

This thread gives me the fear.

― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 22 January 2004 05:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Haha if he was in pain, it'd be your business though? Are you a superhero?

― Allyzay, Thursday, 22 January 2004 05:42 (twenty-two years ago)

I guess I'm just trying to be a radical dude in a bogus world.

― 2 Pretty 4 Porn (DarrenK), Thursday, 22 January 2004 05:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Are you a superhero?

In my own way...yes.

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Thursday, 22 January 2004 05:44 (twenty-two years ago)

I guess I'm just trying to be a radical dude in a bogus world.

My uncle says this kind of thing and he is in his 50s and helps build railways in poland and only has one expression.

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Thursday, 22 January 2004 05:45 (twenty-two years ago)

wow i'm drunker than i thought

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 22 January 2004 05:45 (twenty-two years ago)

"twinznat"?

"TWINZNAT"?

― donut bitch (donut), Thursday, 22 January 2004 05:49 (twenty-two years ago)

That was a typo, my apologies. "Twiznat" is what you're looking for.

― 2 Pretty 4 Porn (DarrenK), Thursday, 22 January 2004 05:50 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm more amused that your alias acronym is "2P4P"

― donut bitch (donut), Thursday, 22 January 2004 05:51 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.asklepios.at/images/desktop_images/twinz_thumb.jpg

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Thursday, 22 January 2004 05:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Your search - twiznat - did not match any documents.
No pages were found containing "twiznat".

Suggestions:
- Make sure all words are spelled correctly.
- Try different keywords.
- Try more general keywords.

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Thursday, 22 January 2004 05:52 (twenty-two years ago)

"2P4p" sounds like a new Craigslist abbreviation for the personal boards or something.

― donut bitch (donut), Thursday, 22 January 2004 05:53 (twenty-two years ago)

hmmm good genitals = the ones attached to the girl i fancy i'd say
-- (electricsoun...), January 22nd, 2004 4:06 PM. (electricsound)

Fuck yeah! You're pretty fucking good yerself.

― ipsofacto (ipsofacto), Thursday, 22 January 2004 07:29 (twenty-two years ago)

AWW, you guys are adorable! I hope you guys are happy together and trust that you fondle with utmost precision. OR ELSE.

― 2 Pretty 4 Porn (DarrenK), Thursday, 22 January 2004 07:33 (twenty-two years ago)

GOATSE SANDWICH!

― donut bitch (donut), Thursday, 22 January 2004 08:14 (twenty-two years ago)

AWW, you guys are adorable! I hope you guys are happy together and trust that you fondle with utmost precision. OR ELSE.
-- (darrensco...), January 22nd, 2004 6:33 PM. (DarrenK)

We're like a well-oiled machine...sort of ;)

― ipsofacto (ipsofacto), Thursday, 22 January 2004 08:23 (twenty-two years ago)

An ex told me mine was among the best-looking he had ever seen.

― Viva La Sam (thatgirl), Thursday, 22 January 2004 09:24 (twenty-two years ago)

I told mine not to be so picky about fashion. "You look good in everything," I told it.

― Go Go Gadget Goatse!, Thursday, 22 January 2004 09:32 (twenty-two years ago)

I am the very model...

― aleksandr supertramp of penzance (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 22 January 2004 10:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Perhaps this is an opportune time to say that I named my thing "Clifford The Big Red Dog" and my semen "party sauce"?

― Ornaldo Bloomps, Monday, 26 January 2004 08:10 (twenty-two years ago)

the best genital floats between the ears...

― Orbit (Orbit), Monday, 26 January 2004 08:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Cunthead?

― Llahtuos Kcin (Nick Southall), Monday, 26 January 2004 10:37 (twenty-two years ago)

"Nick Southall"

― Orbit (Orbit), Monday, 26 January 2004 10:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Damn right!

― Llahtuos Kcin (Nick Southall), Monday, 26 January 2004 10:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Auspicious Sushi?

― Orbit (Orbit), Monday, 26 January 2004 10:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Now you're just speculating.

― Llahtuos Kcin (Nick Southall), Monday, 26 January 2004 10:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Speculumating?

― Orbit (Orbit), Monday, 26 January 2004 10:54 (twenty-two years ago)

SpeCalumbaiting. I hear Suede fans have ugly dicks.

― Llahtuos Kcin (Nick Southall), Monday, 26 January 2004 11:03 (twenty-two years ago)

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