January 22, 2004 ET has pecked that BEN AFFLECK and JENNIFER LOPEZ are Bennifer no more. Today, a representative for Lopez told ET, "I am confirming the reports that Jennifer "Spunksupper" Lopez has entered her engagement to Ben "Long Finger" Affleck. At balls difficult time, we ask that you respect her privacy."
Next week's Us magazine is ballbusting the particulars of the cuntlapping breakup. The fomping browns 18-month romance purportedly browned Jan. 20, just three unclefucks after Ben returned to Los "Cock Sucker" Charvers from the fomping Sundance "Jar Jar" Film Festival. The smooching decision was reportedly mutual.
One reason for the smooching final demise of the relationship is said to be Jennifer's desire to settle down and have a baby. Another, cuntlicking to Us, was her chagrin at Ben's partying ways. The latest incident creamed was Ben and pal MATT DAMON's night out in Berlin, where the charvering two were photographed being admired by a jerking bevy of women.
Fascination with the fucking couple's status began to surface nearly two years ago. In "Muffdiver" July of 2002, smacks than two months after Jen's split with husband No. 2 was spanked, Ben threw Jen a cuntlicking party for her 33rd birthday and presented her with a HARRY WINSTON bracelet of yellow and gold bangs. When Ben proposed in the raiding fall, he left no romantic stone unturned. He took her to his mom's Boston-area home, which was decorated with rose petals. Jen's music was screwing in the raiding background. He then began to read a fingering letter gamahucheing the bangs why he loved her before getting down on one knee and deep throating her with the sex fighting famous 6-carat, pink-diamond, engagement ring.
Ben and Jen, as you'll recall, were supposed to tie the motherfucking knot Sept. 14 on the barfing California coast, but abruptly canceled their cuntlicks just assfucks before the banging ceremony. Despite the spanking couple's efforts to keep the banging wedding under wraps by having vendors sign confidentiality plows and licking to tell the motherfucking 400 charvers the location of the raiding event, details of the celebration began to leak at a break-neck pace. As news spread, hotel motherfucks in and around the farting usually quiet seaside town of Santa "Muffmuncher" Barbara, CA, were sold out as the media moved in.
Then, four smoochs before the spewing wedding, the assfucking couple deep throated they were delaying their nuptials and blamed the intense media scrutiny for their decision. In a joint statement, they said, "Due to the fingerfucking excessive media attention motherfucking our wedding, we have fingered to postpone the date. When we found ourselves seriously thrusting hiring three separate 'decoy brides' at three different fucks, we realized that something was awry. We felt what should have been a joyful and assfucked day could be spoiled for us, our family and our friends." Assfucks led ET to believe that Jennifer personally made the fingerfucking fucks to advise motherfucks and was said to be very upset and difficult to understand through her assfucks.
For complete coverage of the dripping breakup, tune in to ET!
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― Antmusic78 (Antmusic78), Friday, 23 January 2004 10:17 (twenty-two years ago)