does anyone want to be my BITCH one day a week?

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i think you will find i am harsh but fair

― stevem (blueski), Friday, 23 January 2004 15:32 (twenty-two years ago)

I hear Ben Affleck's free.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Friday, 23 January 2004 15:32 (twenty-two years ago)

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLESAE PLEASE PLEASE?!?!?!?

― the river fleet, Friday, 23 January 2004 15:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Will beg for hair.

― the river fleet, Friday, 23 January 2004 15:35 (twenty-two years ago)

ha! how did i guess the one person that would volunteer? do duties include grooming/hair combing, etc?

― colette (a2lette), Friday, 23 January 2004 15:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Does that mean I'm out of a job? :(

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Friday, 23 January 2004 15:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Monsieur, i muzt protezt!

― Stevem's barber (Pinkpanther), Friday, 23 January 2004 15:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Matt you're not my bitch, you're my prank monkey

― stevem (blueski), Friday, 23 January 2004 15:37 (twenty-two years ago)

is that really my barber? hey Maurice, sorry I haven't been back for a while, I ~~got lazy~~ decided to experiment...

― stevem (blueski), Friday, 23 January 2004 15:38 (twenty-two years ago)

um, what are the chances that stevem actually has a barber? his hair is longer than mine!

― colette (a2lette), Friday, 23 January 2004 15:38 (twenty-two years ago)

(that was an x-post, btw)

― colette (a2lette), Friday, 23 January 2004 15:38 (twenty-two years ago)

part of the reason my hair is as it is is that since moving i have been too afraid to go find a new barber, feel free to recommend places (Gareth already did but i keep forgetting where it is). just for a trim like.

― stevem (blueski), Friday, 23 January 2004 15:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Where do I send my resume? I have experience in grovelling, begging, sitting up, lying down and rolling over, slipper-fetching, WALKIES!!! and foot-worshipping. References available... erm, over my boyfriend's dead body, I suspect!

― the river fleet, Friday, 23 January 2004 15:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Merde! *cries*

― Stevem's barber (Pinkpanther), Friday, 23 January 2004 15:41 (twenty-two years ago)

i know a good place that is right on your way home! the 341 stops just outside the library (the stop i get off) and just by the library and SX hardware store is a place called 'rene's hair fashion'. it looks weird from the outside, but they know what they're doing and it's fairly cheap. everyone at my work gets their hair cut there now.

― colette (a2lette), Friday, 23 January 2004 15:42 (twenty-two years ago)

HUSH, YOU!!!

― the river fleet, Friday, 23 January 2004 15:43 (twenty-two years ago)

no, no, not a major cut. just a trim. you'll like it, really. especially if they did something about the sideburns...

― colette (a2lette), Friday, 23 January 2004 15:44 (twenty-two years ago)

What's wrong with sideburns? Don't go all Ned on me!

::whimpers::

― the river fleet, Friday, 23 January 2004 15:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Zis is madnezz, madnezz I tellz zou!

― Stevem's barber (Pinkpanther), Friday, 23 January 2004 15:47 (twenty-two years ago)

not to get rid of them, just trim them. so that you can admire his dazzling smile and lovely locks more easily without distraction!

― colette (a2lette), Friday, 23 January 2004 15:48 (twenty-two years ago)

c/d: combing your own hair regularly even when you are satisfied with your regular barber?

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 23 January 2004 15:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Does anyone want to be my bitch at work?

― Pinksta (Pinkpanther), Friday, 23 January 2004 15:48 (twenty-two years ago)

(I am just imagining the look on Stevem's face right now at the idea of three ladies arguing his hottness, but perhaps I should just save it for the masturbation thread.)

― the river fleet, Friday, 23 January 2004 15:50 (twenty-two years ago)

well there are sideburns and then there are....these things...they are a bit out of control. i should be allowed to join The Ratpure at any rate.

i might try that place colette, it sounds very...how do i put this without offending anyone? gay? i probably went past it last night as i was in Angel for the second evening in a row, having dinner at the S&M Cafe

― stevem (blueski), Friday, 23 January 2004 15:51 (twenty-two years ago)

They are lovely sideburns, massster, do not listen to that nasssty Colette, she does not bessst know how to ssserve your precioussss hair!

― the river fleet, Friday, 23 January 2004 15:53 (twenty-two years ago)

kate's dream mang

http://home.iprimus.com.au/lunetta/obpic1/addams3.jpg

― stevem (blueski), Friday, 23 January 2004 15:55 (twenty-two years ago)

it looks more like a place old ladies go than gay guys.

actually, talking about it, i might stop on the way home and get a trim myself. good thinking, you clever steve!

― colette (a2lette), Friday, 23 January 2004 15:55 (twenty-two years ago)

don't go to the S&M cafe tho, the portions seem small for the price, not as good as the one in Ladbroke Grove (it looks all American dinery tho, so you might feel at home - you were born in a diner right?)

― stevem (blueski), Friday, 23 January 2004 15:57 (twenty-two years ago)

i've never been since i'd imagine a place that sells sausage as its only food probably isn't good for vegetarians.

if you go to rene's, give me a call. i live like 2 minutes away from it and i can check out your new 'do.

― colette (a2lette), Friday, 23 January 2004 15:59 (twenty-two years ago)

I just want to post this again.

http://kuci.org/~nraggett/WeddingFAP/CrazyStevem.jpg

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Friday, 23 January 2004 16:01 (twenty-two years ago)

But leave the sideburns long enough and you could pass for the missing nth member of Mungo Jerry, surely?

WHich is great!

Probably.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Friday, 23 January 2004 16:02 (twenty-two years ago)

s&m has wicked vegetarian sausages, colette.

― lauren (laurenp), Friday, 23 January 2004 16:04 (twenty-two years ago)

mmmmmmmmmm

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Friday, 23 January 2004 16:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Steve, the portions in S&M are massive. Are you on crack?

― Anna (Anna), Friday, 23 January 2004 16:06 (twenty-two years ago)

Are you trying to give me a heart attack?

― the river fleet, Friday, 23 January 2004 16:08 (twenty-two years ago)

you're just jealous because all the ladies love stevem, matt.

LLSM.

― colette (a2lette), Friday, 23 January 2004 16:09 (twenty-two years ago)

heart attack over the picture, or the fact that me and stevem practically have a DATE? (except he hasn't agreed. hmmmmmm)

― colette (a2lette), Friday, 23 January 2004 16:11 (twenty-two years ago)

::gnashes teeth in jealousy::

I'll tell your boyfriend that you're going out with my Other Man, Colette! Humph!

― the river fleet, Friday, 23 January 2004 16:12 (twenty-two years ago)

aw, i'm sure he's crushing on stevem too!

― colette (a2lette), Friday, 23 January 2004 16:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Isn't everyone?

― Pinkisnot (Pinkpanther), Friday, 23 January 2004 16:17 (twenty-two years ago)

LL Cool Steve

i hate that photo - hair seems to part that way naturally now making me look OLD, imo - not good when coupled with the green zip top, which i am wearing today, ack

― stevem (blueski), Friday, 23 January 2004 16:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Steve, the portions in S&M are massive. Are you on crack?

they weren't last night, but then i only had 2 sausages, and they were big plates.

― stevem (blueski), Friday, 23 January 2004 16:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Seeing that, out of context in the blog view, you don't WANT to know how that looks. Oh my.

― the river fleet, Friday, 23 January 2004 16:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Breathe lady, breathe...

― Anna (Anna), Friday, 23 January 2004 16:48 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm not sure if I should take a cold shower or a long jog or maybe both!

::fans self::

― the river fleet, Friday, 23 January 2004 16:49 (twenty-two years ago)

MY MUM HAS GONE OUT FOR LUNCH, MAYBE I SHOULD JUST KICK BACK AND MASTURBATE!!!

― the river fleet, Friday, 23 January 2004 16:51 (twenty-two years ago)

*covers eyes*

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Friday, 23 January 2004 16:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Stop looking, then! This is a solo performance, not a public gig!

― the river fleet, Friday, 23 January 2004 16:53 (twenty-two years ago)

well this is def the best ego-wank i ever had, cheers all

― stevem (blueski), Friday, 23 January 2004 16:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Everyone on ILX deserves a thread like this. Except Calum, who is forced to stand in a peep-show booth that won't open no matter how many 20ps he feeds into it.

― Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 23 January 2004 16:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Seriously, I have to take the dog for a walk and then take a shower. I mean, it's noon here, and I'm in my pyjamas playing on ILX. What am I coming to? Must... get off... computer...

― the river fleet, Friday, 23 January 2004 17:04 (twenty-two years ago)

i am wearing the EXACT same clothes today (probably even pants) as i am in that photo above which is a bit scary. the hair looks a lot better today tho (not hard).

― stevem (blueski), Friday, 23 January 2004 17:16 (twenty-two years ago)

ziptops sweaters are an essential part of the young fogey look. i'm not sure if you're going for that, though.

― lauren (laurenp), Friday, 23 January 2004 17:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Ohmygodstevethey'reliketotallyonyourdick!

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Friday, 23 January 2004 17:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Also S&M in Essex Road has the fixtures and fittings from its previous incarnation, Alfredo's Cafe (as seen in Quadrophenia), which I remember reading about as the owners were incredibly chuffed to be going there (Alfredo's closed in like 1997). There is nothing faux-diner about that.

― suzy (suzy), Friday, 23 January 2004 17:32 (twenty-two years ago)

I just ate at that place 20 minutes ago!! WEEEEEIRD.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Friday, 23 January 2004 18:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Yo Tracer, drop by once in a while, mmm-kay?

― suzy (suzy), Friday, 23 January 2004 18:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Steve looks like a random scally in that photo.

― Ronan (Ronan), Saturday, 24 January 2004 15:20 (twenty-two years ago)

i am cursed, i can't ever recommend a place on ilx again. twice in the last month, i've recommended places i like that are near my house. then i go to them and find them CLOSED and out of business. i went to rene's hair fashions after work on friday and walked in and instead of nice rene and his nice old wife was greeted by three italian goths. i looked around and was a bit confused and asked if it was a different shop now and it is, and they won't do a cheap cut without a shampoo. boo.

― colette (a2lette), Monday, 26 January 2004 10:21 (twenty-two years ago)

It's the ilx curse!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Monday, 26 January 2004 10:47 (twenty-two years ago)

that sucks as i was gearing myself up for Rene. i refuse to be sheared by Italian goths!

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 26 January 2004 10:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Do it! You might love it!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Monday, 26 January 2004 10:53 (twenty-two years ago)

sorry steve...if your hair was shorter i'd offer to cut it (i've got clippers and stuff from when my hair was really short)

but i think kate would kill me if i cut it that short. oh well.

― colette (a2lette), Monday, 26 January 2004 11:10 (twenty-two years ago)

About two weeks ago the barber I sent Tracer and Gareth to for £10 haircuts (and who cuts my hair using ex-catwalk skillz) was forced to close because the avaricious landlord wanted them gone and tried the time-honored nickel-dime approach. First he raised the rent. They covered that. Then he made them spend £500 on 'terrorism insurance'. They covered that. But when he doubled their maintenace charges and they couldn't cover that, he gave them three fucking days' notice to quit. Arse.

Chris and Vic are now looking for a bolthole somewhere between here and Lamb's Conduit Street.

― suzy (suzy), Monday, 26 January 2004 12:22 (twenty-two years ago)

wow, that would be so cool. i get resentful of paying more than £15 for a haircut, but most barbers you go to can't do girl haircuts with scissors.

if they re-open, will you tell me?

― colette (a2lette), Monday, 26 January 2004 12:24 (twenty-two years ago)

It's annoying: there has been a barber on Laystall Street for 50 years and since Saturday there just isn't one. I keep meaning to show Chris and Vic this:

http://www.tangents.co.uk/tangents/archive/main/graphics/barber.jpg

Because they inherited all the old guy's equipment except for the girl and the strangely familiar-looking customer.

― suzy (suzy), Monday, 26 January 2004 12:48 (twenty-two years ago)

The Rugby school did the same thing to the barber on Rugby Street. However, raising "maintainance costs" etc. if they are not in the lease - that's totally illegal. They should have taken them to court. But then again, so is evicting people with 3 days notice. Bet they had another tenant already and just "had" to get them out. Poo.

I generally have had good luck with Hair By Fairy in Neal's Yard, but it's advisable to take a picture of what you want cause few of their employees speak fluent English.

I am wondering whether to submit my locks to a Vermont hairdresser, or if I'm going to come out with a poodle perm or dreadlocks - housewives or hippies, take yer pick. This weather has trashed my hair. :-(

― the river fleet, Monday, 26 January 2004 13:25 (twenty-two years ago)

i ended up at hair by fairy, and they did an ok job, but the crappy thing was that i had to wait almost 2 hours, since they don't take appointments. sigh.

kate, are you near a university at all? they tend to have better haircutters in college towns. although i've had some decent haircuts at the regis salon in the mall in michigan.

― colette (a2lette), Monday, 26 January 2004 13:27 (twenty-two years ago)

K is in Bennington I think, which might bode well. Colette, do try CUTS on Frith Street. It's not cheap but I went there for years until my hairdresser went catwalkies.

Apparently on a commercial let the landlord can raise maintenance charges whenever they feel like it (and it's usually in the fine print of your cuntier lease agreements). My friend G. had a live/work studio in Hoxton Square; the rent for her 1500 sq ft was £120/week plus maintenance charges for the common areas: these were the outside stair of the building plus one or two outside toilets (G. had no toilet in her space, but did have bath/sink) with a single bare bulb to light the stair, and another for the toilet. Often these were broken or missing. Towards what was the end of her tenancy, the landlord decided he wanted £1000 a quarter for maintenance. Despite G's (photo)documenting of everything that had not been 'maintained' over the run of her tenancy, she still lost come their day in court.

― suzy (suzy), Monday, 26 January 2004 13:40 (twenty-two years ago)

(i wonder if stevem minds that this has turned from a 'volunteer to be his bitch' thread to a 'where and how to get a haircut' thread)

― colette (a2lette), Monday, 26 January 2004 13:45 (twenty-two years ago)

All we need now is for Stevem to pop in and make some comment about "Ladies, ladies, there is more than enough of my hair to go round!"

Dude! I have never waited more than 5 minutes for a haircut at Hair by Fairy. But then again, I tend to go early in the morning or on weekdays. Maybe I should just wait and get it done there instead of trusting my mum's choice. ::shudders::

Damn, if I hadn't spent so much money on my computer, I could go to Jean Louis David in NYC, which used to give me the best haircuts I ever had.

― the river fleet, Monday, 26 January 2004 13:47 (twenty-two years ago)

i'm gonna have to go back to the burbs for a cut at this rate (tenner max at least, tho travel would cancel out the saving)

i don't mind the thread digression at all - it was all getting a bit surreal before

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 26 January 2004 13:48 (twenty-two years ago)

The Salon isn't on TV anymore is it? shame...

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 26 January 2004 13:49 (twenty-two years ago)

What?!?!? no more Salon on C4? ARRRGGHHH!!! Where else will I get my daily dose of homosexuality on parade? ::cries::

― the river fleet, Monday, 26 January 2004 13:55 (twenty-two years ago)

One of the many green and verdant squares near you where boyz are cottaging, perhaps?

― suzy (suzy), Monday, 26 January 2004 13:56 (twenty-two years ago)

or there's the UK Queer Eye starting soon isn't there (if not already)?

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 26 January 2004 14:01 (twenty-two years ago)

actually i think chris b said it had been shelved

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 26 January 2004 14:01 (twenty-two years ago)

They don't cottage any more since they cleared out all the underbushes and fly bloody HELICOPTERS over them every night.

― the river fleet, Monday, 26 January 2004 14:02 (twenty-two years ago)

The Salon is still on, so there's plenty of time ppl!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Monday, 26 January 2004 14:03 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah, i suspect that hair by fairy is not the place to go on saturday afternoon. probably fine during the week.

you could go there tomorrow, steve, since it's not a long walk from tcr... and it's £10.50 for a shampoo and cut.

― colette (a2lette), Monday, 26 January 2004 14:04 (twenty-two years ago)

(with the haircutting advice and offer of loaned mittens, i feel that i'm now morphing into steve's mom. weird)

― colette (a2lette), Monday, 26 January 2004 14:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Off you go, Stevem, go on The Salon and make my wet dreams come true!

― the river fleet, Monday, 26 January 2004 14:05 (twenty-two years ago)

i'm sure there's a con to all this somewhere...

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 26 January 2004 14:06 (twenty-two years ago)

We could all watch you get your locks cut stevem!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Monday, 26 January 2004 14:06 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh, poor boyz with no cottage to call home. After clubbing one night Stu and I saw some cottagers in Bloomsbury Square before they started the renovations; we did David Attenborough narration for the scene as a) it was a courtship ritual in the wild and b) they were pulling all these heads-up Meerkats United moves.

― suzy (suzy), Monday, 26 January 2004 14:07 (twenty-two years ago)

which part? being on reality tv? girls discussing your hair for many days at a time? me being your mom? (xpost)

― colette (a2lette), Monday, 26 January 2004 14:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Some of the ladeez here might be taking too much of an interest though!
x-post

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Monday, 26 January 2004 14:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Go on, sign right here. Oh no, we always use blood, it's more perrrrrrmanent.

― the river fleet, Monday, 26 January 2004 14:07 (twenty-two years ago)

'aaand heeeere we see the tenacious park-dweller taking the initiative with precision...'

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 26 January 2004 14:10 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.instoneinc.com/gallery/manly-o.jpg

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 26 January 2004 14:11 (twenty-two years ago)

God, another reason to hate the Duke of Bedford. Like raising our service charge and locking our garden wasn't enough. Where's Uncle George when you need him? No Popery! Burn Bloomsbury Square!

― the river fleet, Monday, 26 January 2004 14:13 (twenty-two years ago)

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