Dropping ILX lingo into your workplace (and the ensuing reactions)

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i must make more effort to do this, ideas include:

'OTM, Boss, OTM'

'A general meeting to discuss the agenda for the project's next phase is urgent and key I feel'

'Does anyone in this bitch think I should get a payrise?'

― stevem (blueski), Friday, 23 January 2004 17:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Did you say "oh tee em" or "on the money"?

― Casuistry (Chris P), Friday, 23 January 2004 17:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Non-profit land trusts - classic or dud?

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Friday, 23 January 2004 17:54 (twenty-two years ago)

"J3ff in losing something and blaming it on somebody else and cussing up a storm causing needless problems SHOCKAH!"

Yeah, I could totally see this working.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 23 January 2004 17:54 (twenty-two years ago)

"Pr0gr3ss1ve having rigoddamndiculously high rates SHOCKAH!" that one sounds better.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 23 January 2004 17:55 (twenty-two years ago)

"What is a ratings worksheet? And can we eat it?"

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 23 January 2004 17:55 (twenty-two years ago)

'fired? omg lol wtf?!'

― stevem (blueski), Friday, 23 January 2004 17:56 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm now photoshopping Ned Raggett onto the company letterheads

― stevem (blueski), Friday, 23 January 2004 17:57 (twenty-two years ago)

"When come back, bring benefits"

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Friday, 23 January 2004 17:58 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm now photoshopping Ned Raggett onto the company letterheads

I thank you. :-)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 23 January 2004 18:01 (twenty-two years ago)

"That report? Not today, I'm just lurking."

― Luigi Vampa (Horace Mann), Friday, 23 January 2004 18:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Heavens! Give me a raise or I kill you with guns!

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 23 January 2004 18:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Wot no ;-)?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 23 January 2004 18:04 (twenty-two years ago)

"So...you're the new intern..."

See Casuistry's redefinition of "intern"

― Luigi Vampa (Horace Mann), Friday, 23 January 2004 18:04 (twenty-two years ago)

I sweetly curse the secretary! U ndress yoru underestimations of my vagina? Impossible?!?!?

― Mike Hanle y (mike), Friday, 23 January 2004 18:06 (twenty-two years ago)

Where am I find a serious girl who aims secretary?

― stevem (blueski), Friday, 23 January 2004 18:07 (twenty-two years ago)

FAP Water Cooler!

― Luigi Vampa (Horace Mann), Friday, 23 January 2004 18:08 (twenty-two years ago)

File the voibe.

― Ronan (Ronan), Friday, 23 January 2004 18:08 (twenty-two years ago)

that is the most depressing post I've ever made

― Ronan (Ronan), Friday, 23 January 2004 18:08 (twenty-two years ago)

This place suXor.

― Jeanne Fury (Jeanne Fury), Friday, 23 January 2004 18:09 (twenty-two years ago)

i use "urgent and key" all the time at work. but it sounds lawyerly, so i can get away with it.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Friday, 23 January 2004 18:09 (twenty-two years ago)

"I sent that memo to [email protected] and it bounced back."

― Casuistry (Chris P), Friday, 23 January 2004 18:10 (twenty-two years ago)

luncho breakington

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 23 January 2004 18:11 (twenty-two years ago)

"Can we have a new "stop pinching my ass" thread?"

― Luigi Vampa (Horace Mann), Friday, 23 January 2004 18:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Urgent and Key became urgent and key in my office conversations.

― the river fleet, Friday, 23 January 2004 18:11 (twenty-two years ago)

What?

― mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 23 January 2004 18:11 (twenty-two years ago)

DOV: Documents

― aleksandr supertramp (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 23 January 2004 18:13 (twenty-two years ago)

POO: Job Applicants

― Luigi Vampa (Horace Mann), Friday, 23 January 2004 18:13 (twenty-two years ago)

POO instant flavored coffee.

xpost!

― Casuistry (Chris P), Friday, 23 January 2004 18:14 (twenty-two years ago)

POV: Days of the Week You Want Me to Work

― Luigi Vampa (Horace Mann), Friday, 23 January 2004 18:14 (twenty-two years ago)

DOES ANYBODY IN THIS BITCH KNOW WHERE MY STAPLER HAS GONE?!?!?

― the river fleet, Friday, 23 January 2004 18:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Excelsior! This is the conversation by the watercooler where you remember & retell the things you saw on TV last night that made you laugh out loud.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 23 January 2004 18:21 (twenty-two years ago)

That actually made me laugh out loud-ilicious!

― the river fleet, Friday, 23 January 2004 18:21 (twenty-two years ago)

This is the memo where I say: You're fired.

― Luigi Vampa (Horace Mann), Friday, 23 January 2004 18:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Well, I'm sorry, if you're going to change your name every week then you're going to have to fill out a tax form every week, Luigi.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Friday, 23 January 2004 18:45 (twenty-two years ago)

my creative director bitching about the client asking for absurd revisions, us requoting + the client bitching about it.
me to cd: "tell her to go eat a bag of dicks".
cd: blank look, followed by laughter (out loud).

― dyson (dyson), Friday, 23 January 2004 18:52 (twenty-two years ago)

i have mumbled "this printer is a bag of d*cks" many times. people tend to ignore me anyways

― kephm, Friday, 23 January 2004 18:53 (twenty-two years ago)

"thats it, I've had enough of this place, I don't need it, I won't be coming back, I have better things to do in the real world"

(next day turn up for work as usual)

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 23 January 2004 18:56 (twenty-two years ago)

jel wins.

― aleksandr supertramp (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 23 January 2004 18:57 (twenty-two years ago)

TS: Access vs. Excel

― Johnney B (Johnney B), Friday, 23 January 2004 19:33 (twenty-two years ago)

"who in this bitch hasn't invoiced yet?"

― s1ocki (slutsky), Friday, 23 January 2004 20:03 (twenty-two years ago)

not quite ILX lingo, but I just called referred to the city I live in as "THIS STINKHOLE" quite loudly in the office.

― The Luge (Horace Mann), Friday, 23 January 2004 20:21 (twenty-two years ago)

'Hey guys, guys, Saskia in Accounts - Classic or dud?'

― stevem (blueski), Friday, 23 January 2004 20:25 (twenty-two years ago)

I use SHOCKAH and U&K quite frequently, once in a while I get a T/S in, and 'bag of dicks' is saved for special occasions.

― teeny (teeny), Saturday, 24 January 2004 01:27 (twenty-two years ago)

oh yeah, and everyone at work is a smartass, so there's no real reaction.

― teeny (teeny), Saturday, 24 January 2004 01:28 (twenty-two years ago)

tom, please delete the company

― mark p (Mark P), Saturday, 24 January 2004 01:29 (twenty-two years ago)

working sucks, u r all gay.

― hstencil, Saturday, 24 January 2004 01:45 (twenty-two years ago)

This nu-workplace isn't as good as the old workplace.

This is the cube where I say how well I did the last assignment and you all applaud.

― nickn (nickn), Saturday, 24 January 2004 01:46 (twenty-two years ago)

RFI: Spreadsheets

Hi! The boss has asked me to run a spreadsheet on our recent rubber duck sales. I have no idea how to do this! HELP!

(someone answers femme nappa venette, or however it's spelt)

― jel -- (jel), Saturday, 24 January 2004 11:26 (twenty-two years ago)

TS: XML vs RDF
C/D: "The Semantic Web"

(Sorry, a bit meaningless if you aren't working with this stuff.)

― Snnap Dragon (snnap dragon), Saturday, 24 January 2004 12:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Sales Dept. vs Accounting: FITE!!!

― the river fleet, Saturday, 24 January 2004 13:52 (twenty-two years ago)

"there's a thing called google, you know"

― aleksandr supertramp (Jody Beth Rosen), Saturday, 24 January 2004 14:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Billy and I are forever calling people cockfarmers.

― Llahtuos Kcin (Nick Southall), Saturday, 24 January 2004 14:21 (twenty-two years ago)

"there's a thing called google, you know"

I probably shouldn't be proud of the fact that we do use this at work.

In fact it's just "DTFG".

― Snnap Dragon (snnap dragon), Saturday, 24 January 2004 15:56 (twenty-two years ago)

using "cockfarmer" only earns worried, pitying glances. i thought it would be a wonderful addition to work vocabulary and still do.

― badgerminor (badgerminor), Saturday, 24 January 2004 16:18 (twenty-two years ago)

I remember having a row with a colleage once:

"For fuck's sake can't you see the point!"
"You're missing the point! The readers aren't mornons. For God's sake V** you're just acting like a cockfarmer!"

...

"Did you just call me a cockfarmer?"
"Ummm, yes."
"That's such a great insult! I'm goingto use that from now on."

Conflict resolution in the workplace folks.

― Anna (Anna), Saturday, 24 January 2004 17:08 (twenty-two years ago)

"Did you just call me a cockfarmer?"
"Ummm, yes."
"But this is a dairy farm, those are cows! You fool, close the gate on your way out"

― jel -- (jel), Saturday, 24 January 2004 17:09 (twenty-two years ago)

"What R being the point of the bosses eyes?"

― jel -- (jel), Saturday, 24 January 2004 19:47 (twenty-two years ago)

HA HA!!! I don't actually WORK HERE, I am just doing research for my NEXT NOVEL and I am secretly PLAYING YOU ALL, HA HA HA HA HA!!!

― the river fleet, Sunday, 25 January 2004 13:48 (twenty-two years ago)

explain me appraisals

― stevem (blueski), Sunday, 25 January 2004 14:15 (twenty-two years ago)

"Work was so much better in the old days, before all this nu people came along"

― jel -- (jel), Sunday, 25 January 2004 15:13 (twenty-two years ago)

I just squeezed the phrase "loses her shit" into a review, which is pleasing.

― Llahtuos Kcin (Nick Southall), Sunday, 25 January 2004 16:53 (twenty-two years ago)

i use Urgent & key quite a lot. And mentalist. Occasionally, Classic or Dud too. At least one colleague is now using them almost as much as me now!

― MarkH (MarkH), Sunday, 25 January 2004 17:52 (twenty-two years ago)

"I engineered a corporate takeover...with sexy results"

― sym (shmuel), Sunday, 25 January 2004 21:09 (twenty-two years ago)

sixteen years pass...

"imo that project list is good not bad iirc... thanking you."

― Evan, Tuesday, 25 August 2020 13:32 (five years ago)

"Let's go over the Q4 table. This is how I break it down to an extent:"

― jmm, Tuesday, 25 August 2020 14:34 (five years ago)

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