If you get eaten by a crocodile then you must have really asked for it...

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You know something, I'm fed up of hearing about crocodiles being indiscriminate killers who eat anything that crosses their path. It's so not true. It's a media cover up designed to demonise these intelligent and sympathetic repitles in order to keep the hand bag trade in business.

A little research shows that in 97% of all known crocodile attacks the so called "victims" have antagonised the beasts by hitting them on the head with a rolled up poster, passing wind in their faces, teasing them with pieces of string, dressing them up in top hats and bow ties, sprayed them with perfume and/ or thrown rotten apples at their noses.

If someone came into your house and did these things to you (all common ways to upsetting crocodiles according to the little known book "The Crocodile Cover Up" by L.T. Hadden) you'd attack them too. Leave the crocs alone.

― C-Man (C-Man), Monday, 26 January 2004 17:10 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.rock101promotions.com/Studio_audience.jpg

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 26 January 2004 17:13 (twenty-two years ago)

I think stevem must have a big list of image urls just for your threads calum. Is that (the question) from your stand-up act? It's pretty poor, I mean stevem's pic is actually funnier.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Monday, 26 January 2004 17:15 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.osric.com/~jeremy/holy_crap.jpg

― Huggy Dork (Kingfish), Monday, 26 January 2004 17:20 (twenty-two years ago)

now that's even funnier, daaamnmnm...

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 26 January 2004 17:22 (twenty-two years ago)

He's ILE's answer to Gary Wilmot.

― pete s, Monday, 26 January 2004 17:25 (twenty-two years ago)

what was Wilmot's question tho?

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 26 January 2004 17:28 (twenty-two years ago)

What is God's worst mistake

― pete s, Monday, 26 January 2004 17:31 (twenty-two years ago)

maybe c-man is just doing these threads so he can steal other people's replies for future stand-up routines? horrible thought.

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 26 January 2004 17:35 (twenty-two years ago)

I agree with the proposition. If I've seen one crocodile expert pounce on a dozing crocodile and truss it up, I've seen twenty eight. Yet what have crocodiles ever done to deserve this persecution. Yes, they eat people, but they have the good grace to live in the middle of nowhere, far away from town centres. It's not as brave and clever to toy with crocodiles as it looks; they are very predictable creatures, so the crocodile hunters know exactly what they are doing. Let them try leaping on gorillas, rhinoceroses, or badgers if they think they're so big.

― R the bunged up with jollop of V (Jake Proudlock), Monday, 26 January 2004 23:12 (twenty-two years ago)

My great-uncle, Reginald "Hoppy" Mountbatten, would disagree. "Whats the world coming to if I can't sit astride a saltwater croc in the Burma jungle and force it to take high tea, I ask you", he used to say to me, while sandpapering his wooden leg.

No wait, not leg... what was it...

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 26 January 2004 23:22 (twenty-two years ago)

three years pass...

Crocodile disrupts swimming lesson

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Monday, 5 February 2007 13:39 (nineteen years ago)

Crocs need to learn lane etiquette.

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Monday, 5 February 2007 13:58 (nineteen years ago)

one year passes...

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3198/2719378800_a4313ed116.jpg?v=0

― braveclub, Friday, 1 August 2008 09:05 (seventeen years ago)

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