I want to make The Best Ever Bolognese - what's your secret?

I'll provide a recipe in a bit.

*flounces off in huff*

Also, if you like it (I personally wouldn't), finally chopped red pepper can have a pleasing effect on the taste.

Also, red wine. Also, chilli. Also, bay leaves. Also, sugar - don't be afraid to enhance the flavour with some sugar, though obv be careful and do it to taste.

ABSOLUTELY cook the whole thing together (after you've cooked the onions, carrot, celery then browned the meat first).

He didn't think you were euphemising by any chance, did he?

Salami is a good call too

I can't remember what me and Vic put in a killer one once I think it was pork mince, beef mince and veal mince - num num

If you want to make this really special buy the fresh spaghetti in a bag (Sainsburys do a good one) and get some proper Parmesano Reggiano from the Sarti's store for topping.

-Start by cooking a pound (a little under half a kilo) of lean ground beef
-as the meat starts to cook, add 2-3 cloves of minced garlic (more if you're a garlic freak like me)
-add 1 each of chopped onion, zucchini(courgette), 1/2 eggplant(aubergine), green pepper and shallot.
-if you like it spicy (i do) add a chopped red chilli
-add a bunch (no idea - 1/2 teaspoon?) of basil, oregano and thyme, and dashes of salt and cracked pepper
-now add 2 big tins of crushed tomoates, and a big jar/bottle of Puttanesca sauce. if you're feeling special, dice up a few ripe tomoatoes and chuck 'em in there too
-add one of those small tins of tomoato paste
-add a cup of red wine
-add 1/2 cup of brown sugar
-add a few finely chopped mushrooms and sundried tomatoes
-throw in a couple of bay leaves, stir it all up reeeeal good, leave on very low heat to simmer for at least an hour

-if it's too chunky, add more tomato/pasta sauce
-towards the end, add some more red wine/brown sugar to taste.

mmmmmmm

i don't go in for this celery and carrot business...

Celery and carrot give you a bit more sweetness as well as rounding out the lower-mid range of the flavour.

xpost, obv

I don't normally use the fresh pasta but the fresh spaghetti is really nice and worth the extra expense for a special meal.

I thnk the only time I like the fresh pasta though is when we get the stuffed ones. There never seems to be enough bite to the fresh, but then maybe I'm just over-cooking it

Chacun a son gout, my dear. Point taken that it might not be the textbook definition of Bolognese, but I was never one to play by the books. The slight bitterness of the aubergine and the rich texture of the zucchini are nice, trust me.

People that put corn into pasta sauces - now THAT'S mentalism to me...

Your recipe is getting lost in translation, Rob. It should be a ciascuno il suo.

x-post. Is not!

(and I meant don't overSALT the water, not sauce. Whadda idiot)

*orange zest (lemon zest is also good)
*anchovy sauce

Use both sparingly, tasting all the way. These ingredients are in 17th and 18th century Italian cookbooks, but have gone missing along the way.

Yeah, put a little bit of really dark chocolate in it, the darker the better.

To Serve
tortilla chips, sour cream, grated cheese and pickled jalapeno chillies

Heat the oil in a large, deep pan. Add the onion and garlic and fry gently until really soft. Add the mince and fry, stirring, for 10-15 minutes, or until browned. Add the tomato purée, chilli and spices and fry for a further 5 minutes.

Add the stock, tomatoes and chocolate, and season. Bring to the boil, cover and simmer for 30 minutes until the meat is tender.

Transfer the meat to a bowl with a slotted spoon, leaving the juices in the pan. Add the beans to the meat. Bring the juices to the boil and reduce by about half. Skim off any fat. Pour over the meat, mixing well. Season. Either cool the chilli in the bowl, cover and chill until needed or put in a clean pan and heat through.

Got that on t'internet, wunnerfull thing....

Your spice base should be about 1/4 arbol, 1/4 pasilla and 1/2 ancho. Some diced chipotle adds lasting heat and some habanero for up-front.
Round the flavour out with Mexican oregano, Mexican cocoa (which you can use a lot more of than you'd expect) and some Cool Chile Co 'Smoky' powder.

Stick some achiote seeds in your rice to make it super woody and lovely, and some sliced jalapeno goes a long way.

Next, on Chilli With The Brits, I will divulge my recipe for Chicken & Chocolate.

Quite happy to mail you a mix though, my address here is my home one - send the details there.

guys i have made bolognese in the past from varying levels of scratch and it is usually fine-to-swell but i have fried onions and garlic and added mince and added some porcini mushrooms (just had them dried in press) and added a glass of red (smelled a bit booty but i mean its just for cooking right) and seasoned and added beef stock and tomato puree and chopped tomatoes and like this is all p much standard

and it smells like dead or dying ass of a bad, bad person

can this be resolved? i blame the wine but cmon its just for cooking can wine really make an otherwise ok dish smell like the ass of a bad, bad dead person?

can it?

sure it's not the porcinis? or gone-off meat?

bad wine can smell pretty bad, but yeah I'd sooner guess the shrooms or bad meat

porcini mushrooms are basically always a mistake

& that is coming from me

Shrooms were dried are they likely to have caused an issue?

I may have overstated the assiness cos it wasnt as bad as gone off meat, i dont think

I think it was the wine, the whole thing tasted of very strong tannin. Deeply unpleasant.

imago otm and lol

if i want mushrooms to taste of smoky urine i will douse them in my own piss & then chargrill them

actually that gives me an idea

if i want mushrooms to taste of smoky urine i will douse them in my own piss & then chargrill them

never cook with something you wouldn't drink

i wouldnt ever drink red wine tbh

porcini are amazing in eg a risotto you are savages (with due respect for yr time and attention in this matter obvs)

http://deadspin.com/how-to-make-a-ragu-which-has-nothing-to-do-with-jars-1485209965

Did you rehydrate the mushrooms before putting them in? They should be soaked in hot water, not sure if not doing that would cause the problem but maybe.

i didnt ed, i must admit. it wasnt my finest effort but i didnt deserve this

i eventually drowned it in dolmio. herself professed not to taste anything but i, having tasted it in its raw state, picked up all the wrong notes (to morecambe it).

i reckon the wine, esp if you're not a wine drinker who wd recognise if it was fucked. and yeah it's a bad assumption that any old shit'll do for cooking - i am the farthest thing from a wine connoisseur but "don't cook with it if you wouldn't drink it" is spot on

plus you recognise and like the taste of porcinis so i doubt that even if you didn't rehydrate them. meat wd be the other candidate but you'se'll know soon enough if it was that

recently had bolognese with liver added in (i've been told that real bolognese doesn't use mince at all, just liver) and i recommend it.

did you put the ass of a bad, bad dead person in it by mistake

that was to darragh but dog latin you can answer too

im not sure tbh whatever was in the fridge tbh

you know how it is when you get home and it's 6pm and you're just like 'whatever'

I cannot answer to the authenticity of my version of Bolognese, but this approach gives me good results. The recipe is for a huge amount and I freeze most of it. I won't bother to do the math to reduce it.

3 - 14 oz. cans of plain diced tomatoes in juice
1 - 6 oz. can of tomato paste
1 full head of garlic, w/ cloves separated and peeled
1/4 cup dried basil
1/4 cup dried oregano
1 Tbs. fennel seeds
1 Tbs. salt
2 large yellow onions, peeled and diced
1 lb. fresh crimini mushrooms, washed & sliced
1 lb. ground beef, approx. 10% fat

Puree the tomatos, tomato paste and garlic cloves together. Pour into a stock pot. Add the basil, oregano, fennel seed, salt, diced onion & sliced mushrooms. Brown the ground beef and add it. Simmer for about two hours.

The key is to give the sauce enough garlic and herbs that it is not just a slightly-enhanced tomato sauce, but the tomatoes serve as a background to and a medium for the garlic and herbs. The onion, mushrooms and ground beef add body and texture, as well as flavor.

The long simmering ensures the flavors are not raw, but combine. Allow some of the moisture to cook off, if necessary, so you don't have a thin or watery sauce. It should not be too densely thick, though. That just invites it to burn.

cool thks, has it ever tasted to you even slightly of dead ass

the ass of a bad, bad dead person - approx 10% fat

if i want mushrooms to taste of smoky urine i will douse them in my own piss & then chargrill them

― VENIET IMBER (imago), Wednesday, January 8, 2014 7:40 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
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never cook with something you wouldn't drink

― mizzell, Wednesday, January 8, 2014 7:42 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i wouldnt ever drink red wine tbh

― lj. 'hoover' egads (darraghmac), Wednesday, January 8, 2014 7:58 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

also pardon my bad manners here mookie if you were addressing lj

if i want mushrooms to taste of smoky urine i will douse them in my own piss & then chargrill them

--Nigella Lawson
(is what I was imagining there)
― kinder, Wednesday, January 8, 2014 2:41 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol, like just matter-of-factly, like "this is what I do"

has it ever tasted to you even slightly of dead ass

Ass or arse?

are you suggesting i make a burrito