People who walk in, fart, and then silently walk back out again

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What are they REALLY trying to say?!

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Monday, 7 June 2004 21:38 (twenty-two years ago)

"hello, I'm your husband and this is my favourite way of annoying you"

― ailsa (ailsa), Monday, 7 June 2004 21:41 (twenty-two years ago)

A lady in my office does this to everyone and they all make fun of her for it.

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Monday, 7 June 2004 21:41 (twenty-two years ago)

HAHAHA LOCK IT

― deanomgwtf!!!p%3Fmsgid%3D4581997 (deangulberry), Monday, 7 June 2004 21:41 (twenty-two years ago)

is that what you'd say dean?

― Patrick Kinghorn, Monday, 7 June 2004 21:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Hi. My name is D1anne Th0mpson.

― Bryan (Bryan), Monday, 7 June 2004 21:48 (twenty-two years ago)

SO YOU KNOW MY BOSS?

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 7 June 2004 21:56 (twenty-two years ago)

if they walk in, crouch, squint, fart and then silent walk back out again they are awesome.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Monday, 7 June 2004 21:59 (twenty-two years ago)

No, they just shuffle some random papers, visibly clench and then hurry away.

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Monday, 7 June 2004 22:00 (twenty-two years ago)

what's that you say.............a thread about this subject, yes well I..............mmmmargh....huh.....aagh...ngggg, oh yes, I must meet the boss in accounts, see you later.

― Ronan (Ronan), Monday, 7 June 2004 22:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Exactly.

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Monday, 7 June 2004 22:04 (twenty-two years ago)

I wish ILX DID have an accounts department. That would rule.

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Monday, 7 June 2004 22:04 (twenty-two years ago)

and a gym.

― Ronan (Ronan), Monday, 7 June 2004 22:05 (twenty-two years ago)

except in the gym people walk in, grunt for a long time, then breathlessly walk back out again holding their body

― Ronan (Ronan), Monday, 7 June 2004 22:06 (twenty-two years ago)

ILX should reinvent itself as a giant corporate hub with a health centre, creche, and cafeteria.

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Monday, 7 June 2004 22:07 (twenty-two years ago)

ILX, The Next Generation? We're frightening enough.

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Monday, 7 June 2004 22:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Adam is right. the future of internet discussion is a perpetual and bestial pow wow between corporate man and machine

― Ronan (Ronan), Monday, 7 June 2004 22:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Well if we're going corporate we'll have to do it properly. NO TALKING ENGLISH. Heads-up win-win going-forward all the way.

― Pack Yr Romantic Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Monday, 7 June 2004 22:14 (twenty-two years ago)

BUT YOU COMMANDED "I WANT THOSE PAPERS ON MY DESK AT 8 O CLOCK SHARP MONDAY MORNING, HAVE A NICE DAY", WE FOLLOWED ORDERS MASTER, WE DID WHAT YOU PROGRAMMED US TO DO.

― Ro-BOT (Ronan), Monday, 7 June 2004 22:14 (twenty-two years ago)

I never really know if my answers or comments are ever really noticed or appreciated but, here's another one........
Several years ago, while I was doing a stint in "Retail-Hell",
I was in the company break-room, smoking a fag(when smoking was allowed in public places-God I miss those days). An employee came in with an "I-need-to-fart" look on his face. You know that look: eyes swiftly moving to case the joint, desperately hoping no one in the room notices his arrival, hands in pockets.......His name was Martin(those who knew him, secretly called him the obvious: "Fartin' Martin").He must have been in his mid-60's, wearing those belt-less Sansa-belt slacks popular in the 70's. By now, Martin has chosen his target, another mid-60's employee we'll call: Prudence. She is silently eating her Tuna Sandwich and reading a dog-eared copy of Readers Digest in the far left corner of the breakroom. Martin closes in(with stealth moves of a cat). With his back to her, he surrepticiously picks up a magazine from the corner table and get's ready for his "recital".
(I am watching from the otherside what is about to take place)He is less than two feet away from her! Prudence is totally oblivious in these next few seconds... The T.V. is on, dialoge is happening(tv),
the voices suddenly stop-------"BRRRRRRRRUUUUPPPPPPPPPPPPTTTTTPTPTPPT-T-T-T-T-T-t-t-t-...."
Martin either "mis-stepped" during his performance or, he ate one too many Brussel Sprouts the night before....!!
"Prudence" immediately dropped the remainder of her sandwich, got up and squirmed past Martin for the exit.
Martin, looked mortified!

I think they have been seen dating scince.......!!!!

― craig hanzelka (craig hanzelka), Monday, 7 June 2004 23:47 (twenty-two years ago)

"do you have to let it linger?"

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 8 June 2004 00:18 (twenty-two years ago)

man they're gonna have to make up a different story of how they met.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Tuesday, 8 June 2004 00:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Craig, that is FANTASTIC.

Obviously this is only classic when you are the farter.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 8 June 2004 01:02 (twenty-two years ago)

I thought this kind of thing only happened at school. Where the different types of fart were categorised with all the zeal of Linnaeus, with the "silent but violent" considered the most impressive. Somebody was always accused of taking Greedy Sniffs.

― MarkH (MarkH), Tuesday, 8 June 2004 12:34 (twenty-two years ago)

When this has happened (INADVERTENTLY), I never leave the room immediately, for fear of seeming obviously guilty. I do, however, shift position in the room, or even attempt to block the progress of the gas w/ my hind quarters (since, of course, gas diffusing in the air can be held back by a big ass & sheer will power). I run / walk briskly with purpose if there's going to be a Sousa march happening, though.

― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 8 June 2004 12:44 (twenty-two years ago)

"hello, I'm your husband and this is my favourite way of annoying you"

Substitute "brother" for "husband" and you've got my answer.

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Tuesday, 8 June 2004 12:45 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm farting right now!

― vleeetrmx21 (Leee), Tuesday, 8 June 2004 23:12 (twenty-two years ago)

those belt-less Sansa-belt slacks

There's a little etymology in there for the ones who really want to dig.

― martin m. (mushrush), Tuesday, 8 June 2004 23:18 (twenty-two years ago)

And you should never ever call anyone "Fartin' Martin" regardless of how much gas they pass.

Never.

― martin m. (mushrush), Tuesday, 8 June 2004 23:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Greedy Sniffs!?

― Dan I. (Dan I.), Tuesday, 8 June 2004 23:24 (twenty-two years ago)

my sister was on a flight to the east coast. she had to bust pretty badly but decided to just go for it to see if it was of the unscented variety. so shes quietly going about her business, assuming that nobody is the wiser.. until she gets off the plane and overhears a conversation of someone in the row she sat in 'well, the flight was alright, but someone in the row behind us had the most vicious gas ever'

― bill stevens (bscrubbins), Tuesday, 8 June 2004 23:25 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.ukrocketry.co.uk/forum/index.php?showtopic=784

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 8 June 2004 23:33 (twenty-two years ago)

People who walk in, shart, and then silently walk back out again.

― Neb Reyob (Ben Boyer), Tuesday, 8 June 2004 23:36 (twenty-two years ago)

shart?

― Orbit (Orbit), Wednesday, 9 June 2004 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

DON'T GO THERE (you will thank me)

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 9 June 2004 00:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Orbit, Orbit, Orbit. It's a contraction.

Pun only intended after the fact.

― martin m. (mushrush), Wednesday, 9 June 2004 00:13 (twenty-two years ago)

@d@ml we know it was you.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Wednesday, 9 June 2004 00:18 (twenty-two years ago)

is this the real life equvalent of a random googler/troll?

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 9 June 2004 00:49 (twenty-two years ago)

i guess for it to be a troll the exit wouldn't be as silent

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 9 June 2004 00:50 (twenty-two years ago)

or the farting

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 9 June 2004 00:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Rock bottom?

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Wednesday, 9 June 2004 00:54 (twenty-two years ago)

stone cold stunner

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 9 June 2004 01:30 (twenty-two years ago)

four years pass...

classic thread

― Pfunkboy Formerly Known As... (Herman G. Neuname), Sunday, 23 November 2008 01:32 (seventeen years ago)

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