The Chronicles of Riddick: best movie in 70 years??

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Director David Twohy conceives this film with the most overweening, sensual surfaces of any movie since The Scarlet Empress (Josef Von Sternberg's 1934 masterpiece where identity is formed by nature, social circumstance and political exigencies).

- Armond White

(I realize he wasn't actually saying it was the best movie in 70 years, but goddamn)

― Gear! (Gear!), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 21:53 (twenty-two years ago)

its a close tie with the ewok movie

― bill stevens (bscrubbins), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 21:59 (twenty-two years ago)

mandee to thread!

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 22:05 (twenty-two years ago)

it was indeed.. the best movie made in 70 years. that's a household fact, ladies and gents.

― mandee, Tuesday, 15 June 2004 22:56 (twenty-two years ago)

my favorite part was when the bad guys would go all squinty eyed and go "RIDDICK!." like OH MAN, HIM AGAIN! it happened at least 105 times.

― mandee, Tuesday, 15 June 2004 22:58 (twenty-two years ago)

overweening

Is this actually a word?

Fuck Armond White, btw.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 23:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes, it means listening to too much Ween.

― o. nate (onate), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 23:51 (twenty-two years ago)

armond white has a pussy name

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 23:53 (twenty-two years ago)

I prefer White's 'auteurist critique' of Mean Girls. I guess being old and writing for a weekly paper no one gives a damn about gives you license to just fuck around in your reviews.

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 23:56 (twenty-two years ago)

are y'all suggesting that Riddick may not be the best movie in the past 70 years?

― mandee, Wednesday, 16 June 2004 00:45 (twenty-two years ago)

I want this jacket.

http://www.nickilortz.com/nicki/vin_4.jpg

― Brian Wilson (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 16 June 2004 00:49 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm sad there weren't nice big space battles! Only a few quick shots of spaceships. :-(

― lyra (lyra), Wednesday, 16 June 2004 03:22 (twenty-two years ago)

I bet Vin Diesel is a cuddler.

― David Allen (David Allen), Wednesday, 16 June 2004 03:26 (twenty-two years ago)

he's a gamer!

― teeny (teeny), Wednesday, 16 June 2004 03:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Twohy fans unite...or not

― Kingfish of Burma (Kingfish), Wednesday, 16 June 2004 04:57 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm very happy to inform you all that "The Chronicles of Riddick" is NOT the best movie made in the past 70 years.

Instead, this movie is:

― mandee, Wednesday, 16 June 2004 05:21 (twenty-two years ago)

oh Robert Davi, will you never win?

― Kingfish of Burma (Kingfish), Wednesday, 16 June 2004 05:24 (twenty-two years ago)

me and anthony can't figure out if he's peeping through a window, a port hole, or a PORTAL FROM THE FUTURE.

― mandee, Wednesday, 16 June 2004 05:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Shouting "RIIIIIIIIDIIIIICK!" has become me and my roommates favorite thing in the world to do.

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Wednesday, 16 June 2004 06:13 (twenty-two years ago)

"Oh Riddick...when will you learn?"
http://www.wasteoftechnology.com/motw/robertdavi/robert.jpg

― Gear! (Gear!), Wednesday, 16 June 2004 06:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Actually those ironic Twohy fans have it all wrong, he's not mediocre, he's really pretty good. Below was fucking fantastic.

― Gear! (Gear!), Wednesday, 16 June 2004 06:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Josef Von Sternberg's 1934 masterpiece where identity is formed by nature, social circumstance and political exigencies.

Pick a film or indeed an example from nature where identity is otherwise formed!

― Enrique (Enrique), Wednesday, 16 June 2004 07:36 (twenty-two years ago)

I pray for the day when Robert Davi and Vin Diesel star in a film together.

― mandee, Wednesday, 16 June 2004 12:00 (twenty-two years ago)

"If the title seems a little grandiose for a Vin Diesel movie, chalk it up to writer/director David Twohy's ambitions. Building out from Diesel's character as introduced in his taut little 2000 cult fave Pitch Black, Twohy sets out to evoke an entire new sci-fi universe, one in a which a horde of crypto-religious warriors with the unfortunately dorky handle of Necromongers are bent on converting or killing every living soul, unless the titular intergalactic supercriminal can stop them. Diesel's Riddick, who appears to hail from a planet where the natives speak exclusively in tough-guy zingers, is the least interesting thing here. The Necromongers, on the other hand, conquer all with their ruthlessness and their excellent art direction, a freaky blend of German Expressionism, Nuremberg rally, and John Boorman's Excalibur; the section set on the sun-blasted prison planet of Crematoria (again, dorky) impresses with its imagination and high-stakes action. Twohy's excellent secondary cast (including Colm Feore, Thandie Newton, The Lord of the Rings' Karl Urban, and Linus Roache) wear the hell out of some crazy costumes and get in a little acting besides, though poor Judi Densch seems literally beamed in from another movie. It doesn't make much sense and is way silly in spots, but Riddick is some serious dorktacular summer-movie fun."

― Lee G (Lee G), Wednesday, 16 June 2004 13:52 (twenty-two years ago)

I think the names thing is genius because how the hell can you parody them? Classic Mad magazine would have been stymied.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 16 June 2004 14:06 (twenty-two years ago)

It gets worse. The Necromongers are all trying to get to a place called "the Underverse." It's a guaranteed snicker anytime anyone mentions it. And they mention it a lot.

― Lee G (Lee G), Wednesday, 16 June 2004 14:13 (twenty-two years ago)

I have been dying to see this.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Wednesday, 16 June 2004 14:19 (twenty-two years ago)

It looks like a fantastic movie to have playing quietly while listening to KMFDM.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 16 June 2004 14:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Ned, your future as a capsule writer is secure.

― Lee G (Lee G), Wednesday, 16 June 2004 14:26 (twenty-two years ago)

clearly, this thread means that one thing must be in the offing soon:

UNDERVERSE FAP

perhaps we can all go to crematoria for a hot little nightcap afterward

― maura (maura), Wednesday, 16 June 2004 14:28 (twenty-two years ago)

As long as I get to be a Necromonger, I don't care.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Wednesday, 16 June 2004 14:28 (twenty-two years ago)

I wanna be a Vivorector!

― David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 16 June 2004 14:29 (twenty-two years ago)

i want to be a necromonger bride.

― mandee, Wednesday, 16 June 2004 14:30 (twenty-two years ago)

my favorite detail from an article on vin:

he wasn't able to get Dench involved in a game of his beloved D&D.'

let's all just take a moment and close our eyes and try and picture this bit of convincing ......

― maura (maura), Wednesday, 16 June 2004 14:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Ned, your future as a capsule writer is secure.

It's a vision, sir.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 16 June 2004 14:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Vin Diesel vs. Steven Seagal (or an Actor playing a badass vs. a badass playing an actor.)

Seagal would take him in a minute in a street fight, but Vin might have a career as a character actor when he gets old.

"The Arrival" written and directed by Twohey is a decent low budget scifi movie.

― earlnash, Wednesday, 16 June 2004 15:18 (twenty-two years ago)

the Onion review claims the best thing in the entire flick is Newton's cleavage.

― Kingfish of Burma (Kingfish), Wednesday, 16 June 2004 15:46 (twenty-two years ago)

A HAIKU

I know what you think.
You think you're above the law.
You're not above mine.

http://www.volny.cz/blizzardsweb/images/star-stevenseagal02.jpg

― Gear! (Gear!), Wednesday, 16 June 2004 15:54 (twenty-two years ago)

the Onion review claims the best thing in the entire flick is Newton's cleavage.

LIKE THIS IS NOT A REASON TO SEE A MOVIE.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 16 June 2004 15:59 (twenty-two years ago)

I know he did it.
Evidence? Fuck evidence.
His fat ass is mine.

http://www.mediocreminds.com/03q3/misc/pcs/steven_seagal.jpg

― Gear! (Gear!), Wednesday, 16 June 2004 16:01 (twenty-two years ago)

LIKE THIS IS NOT A REASON TO SEE A MOVIE.

Dan said what I was going to. What a wise man.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 16 June 2004 16:03 (twenty-two years ago)

OMG VIN DIESIL WAS THE VOICE OF THE IRON GIANT IN THE IRON GIANT!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 16 June 2004 16:03 (twenty-two years ago)

You didn't know that???

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 16 June 2004 16:03 (twenty-two years ago)

My partners all die
In ambush, by trickery.
And I fight alone.

http://www.21cineplex.com/images/news/news4551.jpg

― Gear! (Gear!), Wednesday, 16 June 2004 16:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Gaijin bushido
Vanquishes all before me
Especially pies

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 16 June 2004 16:05 (twenty-two years ago)

DMX and I
He is his brother's keeper
And I got his back

http://www.filmfodder.com/movies/reviews/exit_wounds/images/exit_wounds.jpg

― Gear! (Gear!), Wednesday, 16 June 2004 16:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Okay, um, the best part was NOT Newton's cleavage. It was that dude from LOTR's weird haircut. I wanted to run my fingers through his buzz cut/flock of seagulls 'do.

― mandee, Wednesday, 16 June 2004 16:06 (twenty-two years ago)

Such dark territory
This train speeds through this long night
Bogosian is mine

http://www.stevenseagal.movienet.org.uk/undersiege2_1.jpg

― Gear! (Gear!), Wednesday, 16 June 2004 16:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Gear, I love you man, but get Steven Seagal's carb-facey grill OFF THE RIDDICK THREAD.

― mandee, Wednesday, 16 June 2004 16:10 (twenty-two years ago)

What the hell is that
Coming out of that big cake?
Oh, it's just some boobs.

― Comment dits-on...eh... le NA? (Nick A.), Wednesday, 16 June 2004 16:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Skipping 50 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

Oh man, the first fifteen or so posts of this thread have me roffling.

I still haven't seen this movie, even though Pitch Black is one of my faves.

― Jordan (Jordan), Monday, 29 November 2004 18:44 (twenty-one years ago)

Bump, can someone explain the goggles thing???

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Monday, 29 November 2004 19:01 (twenty-one years ago)

He's got crazy eyes n shit, Spencer! He needs to protect them beauts!

― jill schoelen is the queen of my dreams! (Homosexual II), Monday, 29 November 2004 19:03 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh!

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Monday, 29 November 2004 19:04 (twenty-one years ago)

I think I want to see A Man Apart or whatever its called before I finally see this. The ad for that was hardcore! More Vin and less CGI.

I still want this jacket.

http://www.nickilortz.com/nicki/vin_4.jpg

― miccio (miccio), Monday, 29 November 2004 19:07 (twenty-one years ago)

You can get that jacket in the junior miss section of Target.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 29 November 2004 19:13 (twenty-one years ago)

in XL?

― miccio (miccio), Monday, 29 November 2004 19:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Definitely in XS.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 29 November 2004 19:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Huh, so that's where the CeCe Peniston moniker came about.

― alex in montreal, Monday, 29 November 2004 19:57 (twenty-one years ago)

one month passes...

I finally saw it (they were out of Shaun Of The Dead). We didn't finish it.

this looks promising

― miccio (miccio), Sunday, 9 January 2005 19:21 (twenty-one years ago)

WHAT'S ON VIN'S PLATE IN 2005!!!!

"The Pacifier"
the story of an undercover agent who, after failing to protect an important government scientist, learns the man's family is in danger. In an effort to redeem himself, he agrees to take care of the man's children only to discover that child care is his toughest mission yet.

"Find Me Guilty"
A drama based on the longest Mafia trial in U.S. history, mobster Jack DiNorscio (Diesel), faced with a series of charges, decides to stand trial instead of ratting out his family and associates. A wrench is thrown into the system when DiNorscio opts to defend himself.

"Hannibal"
Vin Diesel stars as the Carthaginian general who rode an elephant across the Alps to attack Rome in the 3rd Century B.C.

Vin's agent should be drawn & quartered.

― miccio (miccio), Sunday, 9 January 2005 19:25 (twenty-one years ago)

The Ballad Of Vin Diesel (from Times Online)

Diesel talks fondly of buying a trampoline to “master the in-air anatomy of Riddick” — which probably tells you all you need to know.

Evidently there may be a remake of Guys & Dolls in the works too. And a Joe Louis biopic with Spike Lee.

― miccio (miccio), Sunday, 9 January 2005 19:37 (twenty-one years ago)

man those diesel 2k5 movies sound pretty excruciating

― s1ocki (slutsky), Sunday, 9 January 2005 22:03 (twenty-one years ago)

I saw the trailer for "The Pacifier." No funny in sight.

http://photobucket.com/albums/v291/TheManthony/th_pheret.jpg

You've done the triple X. you've done the riddick. You are an action SUPERSTAR. Vin, baby, Willis, Arnold, all the big boys make a COMEDY. Kindergarten Cop 2K. You plus kids equals moms luv ya too. Trust me.

― miccio (miccio), Sunday, 9 January 2005 22:07 (twenty-one years ago)

"Hannibal"
Vin Diesel stars as the Carthaginian general who rode an elephant across the Alps to attack Rome in the 3rd Century B.C

Let's hope it's as good as Alexander. Oh wait.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 9 January 2005 22:09 (twenty-one years ago)

I read the first one and thought, "Ah haha, that's funny! Imagine if it were--zuh??"

― Riot Gear! (Gear!), Sunday, 9 January 2005 22:10 (twenty-one years ago)

I got Joel Silver on line two, BEGGING for you to be in Tango & Cash: The Next Generation. Take your pick, Tango, Cash, its yours. If you don't like that Joel Schumacher wants you and Ice Cube to remake The Defiant Ones. The world is yours.

― miccio (miccio), Sunday, 9 January 2005 22:10 (twenty-one years ago)

"but, buddy, I'm half-black. Defiant Ones is a black guy and a white guy."

I didn't know that. Do you think the kids are gonna know that? So instead of salt and pepper, we do pepper and oregano. New spices for new times. Look, we're talking Schumacher. Cube. Hot.

― miccio (miccio), Sunday, 9 January 2005 22:16 (twenty-one years ago)

btw miccio i love you for reviving this thread

― s1ocki (slutsky), Sunday, 9 January 2005 22:17 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.stanford.edu/~bbenson/onion_oped/jackie_harvey.jpg

― Riot Gear! (Gear!), Sunday, 9 January 2005 22:20 (twenty-one years ago)

this hopefully won't be the last time! From imdb, quoth Diesel:

"We gave the script to the studio, I bought three leather binders. One said C1, one said C2 and one said C3. They all had locks on them and we only gave the key to C1 to the studio."

"From the very very beginning, when everyone thought it was crazy, I was thinking of The Chronicles of Riddick as a trilogy. That would start with the movie you saw, and Pitch Black would act as a prequel that introduced you to the character. So in simple terms, in Chronicles 2 we venture to the Underverse. We knew we could get away with a PG-13 on the first one, but once you go to the Underverse it's rated R, because it's a place where war is the norm and there is constant, constant battling. Then on Chronicles 3 we will see Riddick return to Furia, to deal with the homeland."

"In the next film, Riddick is going to go to the underverse. Riddick will act with new elementals. Not air elementals [as Judi Dench's character is] but fire and water. It'll come full circle in C3 when he must return to Furia".

I like how this all makes no sense even if you've seen the movie.

― miccio (miccio), Sunday, 9 January 2005 22:24 (twenty-one years ago)

water elementals!! sweet!!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Sunday, 9 January 2005 22:38 (twenty-one years ago)

i've always wanted to see diesel tangle with some water elementals.

― s1ocki (slutsky), Sunday, 9 January 2005 22:39 (twenty-one years ago)

He should go for the liches instead.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 9 January 2005 22:42 (twenty-one years ago)