tonight I have witnessed Carrot Top "jump the shark"

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I was in the kitchen at work and saw Carrot Top on "The Best Damn Sports Show etc etc etc", where he was tossing around some sports-related props, including a briefcase Kobe Bryant would bring to work that--wait for it!--has a tiny basketball hoop in it, so he can practice! with foam basketballs!

Plus his face looks bloated in that Jerry Lewis on 'roids way, which I think is actually what he's on, considering that fact that he's as big as Barry Bonds would like to be now.

― Gear! (Gear!), Wednesday, 11 August 2004 05:05 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm not sure if Carrot Top was ever on the other side of the shark...

― Huck, Wednesday, 11 August 2004 05:08 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, how exactly does shit not always stink?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 11 August 2004 05:09 (twenty-one years ago)

HUCK OTM

― AaronHz (AaronHz), Wednesday, 11 August 2004 05:10 (twenty-one years ago)

relatively speaking, you know. this was the moment when Carrot Top's biggest fans said to themselves, "oh shit....that wasn't funny at all".

― Gear! (Gear!), Wednesday, 11 August 2004 05:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Even so.
I have a perverse respect for prop comics, as many of their props seem to display a high level of craftsmanship. Still doesn't make it funny/

― Huck, Wednesday, 11 August 2004 05:37 (twenty-one years ago)

no no you still don't understand. Carrot Top was never funny, not at all, but tonight it's as if he went through some rip in the fabric of space and brought back a hellish, Event Horizon-esque dimension of anguish and pain crossed with goofy footlockers.

― Gear! (Gear!), Wednesday, 11 August 2004 05:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Carrot Top! I love that guy.

― adam. (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 11 August 2004 05:47 (twenty-one years ago)

http://newsletter.casinocity.com/issue38/images/carrottop%5B1%5D.jpg

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 11 August 2004 06:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Carrot Top! I love that guy.

*beats Adam down*

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 11 August 2004 11:25 (twenty-one years ago)

He's like Gallagher. Except without any talent.

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Wednesday, 11 August 2004 12:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Carrot Top's biggest fans...¿
ha ha ha haaaa - i'm picturiung what a hardcore carrot top fan boy would look like.

― dyson (dyson), Wednesday, 11 August 2004 12:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Jess.

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 11 August 2004 12:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Carrot Top jumped the shark when he fell out of Mrs. Carrot Top.

― Velveteen Bingo (Chris V), Wednesday, 11 August 2004 13:12 (twenty-one years ago)

Born on the Wrong Side of the Shark

Gear, have you ever seen Carrot Top before? This gag is perfectly in line with his m.o. of suckitude. Court/court, geddit? It's a complex pun.

― Huck, Wednesday, 11 August 2004 13:21 (twenty-one years ago)

I'd rather see a shark jump Carrot Top.

― Nemo (JND), Wednesday, 11 August 2004 13:35 (twenty-one years ago)

http://clantongang.com/oldwest/carrot05.jpg

― Huck, Wednesday, 11 August 2004 13:37 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.subgenius.com/bigfist/pics9/MISC/elqueso/carrot-top.jpg

― Nemo (JND), Wednesday, 11 August 2004 13:48 (twenty-one years ago)

But he's all that is right with male eyeliner.

― Huck, Wednesday, 11 August 2004 13:49 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't want to kill Carrot Top so much as go back in time, kill his parents and then jump into a vat of molten lava T2-style so that there's no possibility of anybody even conceiving such a creature could exist on this mortal coil.

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 11 August 2004 14:41 (twenty-one years ago)

According to The Smoking Gun, he gets very angry if caterers serve carrot cake. You gu-uys, that's not funny.

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Wednesday, 11 August 2004 15:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Carrot-Top Meatcake = a solution to all our woes.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 11 August 2004 15:11 (twenty-one years ago)

He will also punch any snowmen he encounters with carrots for noses.

― na (Nick A.), Wednesday, 11 August 2004 15:11 (twenty-one years ago)

jaymc: no comments.

― kelsey (kelstarry), Wednesday, 11 August 2004 15:12 (twenty-one years ago)

According to an article I read a few years ago, he apparently makes a hefty income (multi-millions per yer) touring college campuses, and spends his offstage hours planting his root vegetable in pliant co-eds. Whichever side of the shark he's on, I don't know that he cares.

― Lee G (Lee G), Wednesday, 11 August 2004 16:12 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.camel-toe.net/carrot%20top.jpg

― Nemo (JND), Wednesday, 11 August 2004 16:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh, and I'm sure he makes a pile from those AT&T commercials as well.

― Lee G (Lee G), Wednesday, 11 August 2004 16:45 (twenty-one years ago)

i would not be shocked if he did them for free.

― dyson (dyson), Wednesday, 11 August 2004 17:08 (twenty-one years ago)

I was expecting Gear to tell us how Mr. Top came across a toy shark on the set and then proceded to, get this, JUMP over it, while rapidly raising and lowering his eyebrows and going "eh? eh?"

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 11 August 2004 17:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Did anyone read the article in this week's New Yorker about the Christian comedian? Pretty fascinating stuff.

― Softly Weeping at the Oki Dog (Ben Boyer), Wednesday, 11 August 2004 17:58 (twenty-one years ago)

"What's the deal with transfiguration? Am I right people?"

― Huck, Wednesday, 11 August 2004 18:12 (twenty-one years ago)

"Take my sins...please!"

― Huck, Wednesday, 11 August 2004 18:12 (twenty-one years ago)

I was expecting Gear to tell us how Mr. Top came across a toy shark on the set [...]

At this point my eyes began to bleed and my soul fell out of my ass.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 11 August 2004 18:13 (twenty-one years ago)

This is actually less of a problem than if the symptoms were reversed.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 11 August 2004 18:15 (twenty-one years ago)

"At this point my soul began to bleed and my eyes fell out of my ass."

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 11 August 2004 18:16 (twenty-one years ago)

aka, any Carcass lyric ever. Reversed:

Your intestines are rising, up towards your throat
Stale bile escaping through your bloodied nose
Your colon digested into acidic slush
Your tongue gargling on your dislocated anus

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 11 August 2004 18:18 (twenty-one years ago)

blood, ass, soul, eyes

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 11 August 2004 18:33 (twenty-one years ago)

paging D'Angelo: I think I found the title to your next album!

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 11 August 2004 18:34 (twenty-one years ago)

I saw him on Howard Stern a while ago (I know, why was I watching that, I think I was sick or something) and he was UNSPEAKABLY creepy. He was showing off his freakishly muscular arms, and talking about how he loves to go to Nevada brothels and come on women's faces aka one-man bukkake. God, I was so nauseated...

― Layna Andersen (Layna Andersen), Wednesday, 11 August 2004 19:25 (twenty-one years ago)

And now the eye-bleeding and out-of-ass soul-dropping can really begin in earnest.

― Nemo (JND), Wednesday, 11 August 2004 19:45 (twenty-one years ago)

ditto.

― Huck, Wednesday, 11 August 2004 19:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Thank god. I doubt I could hold out much longer.

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 11 August 2004 19:48 (twenty-one years ago)

i wonder if it comes out orange...

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Wednesday, 11 August 2004 19:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Did anyone read the article in this week's New Yorker about the Christian comedian? Pretty fascinating stuff.

I did, and yeah, it is. That whole netherworld of Christian entertainment is, among other things, a gold mine. I worked briefly at a studio/record label that was failing at regular rock music and begining to flirt with Christian Contemporary, so those guys were always hanging around. We heathen rock types were busting our butts to get the civilian bands door gigs, but the Christian bands were playing churches for big fat guarantees plus all the money they made on merch. If you're gonna sell your soul, so to speak, you can get a good price therein.

― Lee G (Lee G), Wednesday, 11 August 2004 19:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Cartman to thread

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 11 August 2004 20:07 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.carrottop.com/ct_pix/gallery_pix/gallery_3_28/baby_carrots/be-seated1.jpg

The sad part is that this isn't the first time I've posted this picture.

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Wednesday, 11 August 2004 20:08 (twenty-one years ago)

one year passes...

HOLY MOTHER OF F*CK. SHIELD THINE EYES.

― Vomit on my socks ƒur¥ (Je4nne Fury), Thursday, 18 August 2005 19:41 (twenty years ago)

What the FUCK is wrong with his FACE??

― Elephant Man ƒur¥ (Je4nne Fury), Thursday, 18 August 2005 19:43 (twenty years ago)

Gross. Can we put him in jail?

― The Ghost of Dean Gulberry (dr g), Thursday, 18 August 2005 19:46 (twenty years ago)

Did he put makeup on his ENTIRE BODY??????

― The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Thursday, 18 August 2005 19:46 (twenty years ago)

Skipping 143 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

since i'm from the internet, i tooo know he's weird

― PappaWheelie V, Saturday, 19 July 2008 01:54 (seventeen years ago)

http://www.nerdsonsports.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/11/barryvbarry.jpg

― gr8080, Saturday, 19 July 2008 02:28 (seventeen years ago)

one year passes...

http://i37.tinypic.com/2gvq0es.jpg

― The World's Biggest Christ (Z S), Sunday, 11 October 2009 22:57 (sixteen years ago)

The problem with posting hilarious Carrot Top ad spam is that no one would ever click on the thread! I mean, I understand, I wouldn't do it either.

― The World's Biggest Christ (Z S), Sunday, 11 October 2009 23:25 (sixteen years ago)

I like to think that those ads are a case of modern technology gone haywire, an ungodly sort of marketing monster put together by a seriously misguided and ill-designed search engine algorithm.

― Adam Bruneau, Monday, 12 October 2009 00:05 (sixteen years ago)

I'm not sure if Carrot Top was ever on the other side of the shark...

Seriously, WTF?

― Daniel, Esq., Monday, 12 October 2009 00:13 (sixteen years ago)

"where he was tossing around some sports-related props, including a briefcase Kobe Bryant would bring to work that--wait for it!--has a tiny basketball hoop in it, so he can practice! with foam basketballs!"

This actually is really hilarious in an ironic Andy Kaufman sort of way (which I assume isn't what CT was going for).

― Matt Armstrong, Monday, 12 October 2009 02:06 (sixteen years ago)

holy hell, what is going on with his delts.

― Matt Armstrong, Monday, 12 October 2009 02:08 (sixteen years ago)

two months pass...

The Pathos Of Gallagher

― Elvis Telecom, Tuesday, 29 December 2009 21:42 (sixteen years ago)

You know, I think when Clinton ruined the presidency, it certainly made my point of mediocrity. We never pick a president who is above, we pick somebody we identify with: the lowest level, the most common. We didn’t pick the best politician in the Bush family, which of course was the governor of Florida. We picked the beer-drinking good ol’ boy. Ask them to lead us in areas that maybe didn’t require a good ol’ boy. You know, this is what I notice. Of course, I’ve been excluded from a lot of show business in America. So I’ve got a point of view that I don’t mind expressing, because I’m really not ruining a career that’s not really happening.

― hey trader joe's! i've got the new steely dan. (Jordan), Tuesday, 29 December 2009 21:47 (sixteen years ago)

Wow. Yeah, just, wow.

― you gone float up with it (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Tuesday, 29 December 2009 21:52 (sixteen years ago)

are you fucking kidding me with this stuff

― Herodcare for the Unborn (J0hn D.), Tuesday, 29 December 2009 22:15 (sixteen years ago)

http://media.avclub.com/images/articles/article/36622/Gallagher_jpg_595x325_crop_upscale_q85.jpg

And I kind of take responsibility for the mosh pit. Major amusement parks now have splash rides—you don’t even have to be a participant in the ride to get splashed, you can be on a bridge. And of course there’s Blue Man Group, GWAR, Insane Clown Posse, all have a necessity of putting plastic on the chairs or people wearing plastic to the show. It becomes a blurring of the rules. And I’m, you know, somewhat at fault here.

― standing on the verge of getting it rong (m bison), Tuesday, 29 December 2009 22:17 (sixteen years ago)

Holy shit, I didn't know what a lunatic Gallagher was.

― Quiet, I'm making my Youtube Star Wars Review (Z S), Tuesday, 29 December 2009 22:26 (sixteen years ago)

Don't forget this choice bit of him upthread.

― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 29 December 2009 22:36 (sixteen years ago)

Good grief. I knew he was a buffoon, but I didn't know he was such a bigoted buffoon.

Still, I gotta admit that "Man says 'Un muchacho quiero comer', which means 'I want to eat a boy' and the boys look scared." is kind of a diamond in the rough imo!

― Quiet, I'm making my Youtube Star Wars Review (Z S), Tuesday, 29 December 2009 22:44 (sixteen years ago)

Man, WTF with these guys.

― Clerk all KNOWIN (B.L.A.M.), Tuesday, 29 December 2009 23:04 (sixteen years ago)

http://www.ugo.com/movies/guide-to-best-hair-cuts/images/entries/krusty-the-clown.jpg

― Fetchboy, Tuesday, 29 December 2009 23:07 (sixteen years ago)

I'm not sure if Carrot Top was ever on the other side of the shark...

― Huck, Wednesday, 11 August 2004 05:08 (5 years ago) Bookmark

first response hall of fame material tbh

― Not a reactionary git, just an idiot. (darraghmac), Tuesday, 29 December 2009 23:10 (sixteen years ago)

Oh my god, how did I forget the terrifying wonder that is the "Gallagher en espanol" story?

― I X Love (Abbott), Tuesday, 29 December 2009 23:15 (sixteen years ago)

Gawd that Gallagher Too story is so bizarre.

― Elvis Telecom, Tuesday, 29 December 2009 23:40 (sixteen years ago)

gallagher correcting the flopping comedian has totally the same aspect as quayle egging the kid on til he adds an "e" to "potato"

― Herodcare for the Unborn (J0hn D.), Tuesday, 29 December 2009 23:44 (sixteen years ago)

three years pass...

his wikipedia resume is killing me:

Carrot Top has appeared in Larry the Cable Guy's Christmas Spectacular, Gene Simmons Family Jewels, Space Ghost Coast To Coast, Criss Angel Mindfreak, Scrubs (2001), George Lopez, and Tugger: The Jeep 4x4 Who Wanted to Fly (2005).

― crüt, Wednesday, 17 July 2013 21:49 (twelve years ago)

two months pass...

http://gawker.com/you-simply-must-see-carrot-top-at-the-luxor-reports-na-1443841594

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 11 October 2013 14:46 (twelve years ago)

"I have this (toy) bus that smoke comes out of, that I say is Snoop Dogg's tour bus, and there have been many occasions where I've pushed the button and no smoke came out of it," Carrot Top reveals to Heather Turk, a writer at 10Deep.com, a division of USA Today. "The crowd would just be like, 'What?'"

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 11 October 2013 14:47 (twelve years ago)

dying

― Bitch Fantastic (DJP), Friday, 11 October 2013 14:48 (twelve years ago)

six years pass...

https://i.imgur.com/0tfWRuH.jpg

― shout-out to his family (DJP), Tuesday, 23 June 2020 19:40 (five years ago)

DUDE WTF

― sound of scampo talk to me (El Tomboto), Tuesday, 23 June 2020 19:42 (five years ago)

I DIDN'T NEED TO KNOW HE WAS FACTORY

― sound of scampo talk to me (El Tomboto), Tuesday, 23 June 2020 19:43 (five years ago)

today i have witnessed Carrot Top's "Carrot Top"

i'm talking about pubes

― time is running out to pitch in $5 (Karl Malone), Tuesday, 23 June 2020 19:45 (five years ago)

Seven days from today, Carrot Top's pubes will crawl out of your computer screen and do prop comedy at you until you die

― shout-out to his family (DJP), Tuesday, 23 June 2020 19:47 (five years ago)

all told, it's probably what i deserve! i mean i wouldn't choose that ending, but it is fair

please carrot top, don't open that briefcase, i don't want to know what's inside, no-nononoooooooo

― time is running out to pitch in $5 (Karl Malone), Tuesday, 23 June 2020 19:49 (five years ago)

Awesome pics. Great size. Look thick. Solid. Tight. Keep us all posted on your continued progress with any new progress pics or vid clips. Show us what you got man. Wanna see how freakn' huge, solid, thick and tight you can get. Thanks for the motivation.

― scampo, foggy and clegg (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 23 June 2020 20:00 (five years ago)

I kinda imagine pandemic Carrot Top to be really out of shape and flabby now.

― soaring skrrrtpeggios (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Tuesday, 23 June 2020 20:12 (five years ago)

still looking freakn’ huge, thick, solid and tight as of april 2020

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r_-zkPAqZDU

― scampo, foggy and clegg (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 23 June 2020 20:17 (five years ago)

haha dammit you beat me to it

― shout-out to his family (DJP), Tuesday, 23 June 2020 20:18 (five years ago)

This was in March:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p6GZJWsrN5U

― shout-out to his family (DJP), Tuesday, 23 June 2020 20:22 (five years ago)

cursed image

― scampo, foggy and clegg (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 23 June 2020 20:25 (five years ago)

now that Ron Jeremy's been arrested on multiple counts of rape, Carrot can finally assume his throne as Preeminent Aged Alpha Adonis Entertainer Not Yet Charged With Rape

― the burrito that defined a generation, Tuesday, 23 June 2020 20:26 (five years ago)

hahaha I was wrong. Glad he's sticking with it.

― soaring skrrrtpeggios (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Tuesday, 23 June 2020 20:28 (five years ago)

he looks like he’s been skipping leg day tbh

― scampo, foggy and clegg (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 23 June 2020 20:30 (five years ago)

Can't believe this is some ILXors first exposure to Carrot Top's pubes.

― Donald Trump Also Sucks, Of Course (milo z), Tuesday, 23 June 2020 22:40 (five years ago)

It’s not the first time that pic has been posted on this board

― shout-out to his family (DJP), Tuesday, 23 June 2020 22:42 (five years ago)

Pubes I've seen via ILX: Momus, Carrot Top

― Donald Trump Also Sucks, Of Course (milo z), Tuesday, 23 June 2020 22:44 (five years ago)

Carrot Top is his own best prop.

― Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, 23 June 2020 23:22 (five years ago)

there was some Bruce Springsteen photo with pubes posted once, it was hot

― brimstead, Wednesday, 24 June 2020 01:42 (five years ago)

Carrot Top looks like he was assembled from a panoply of mismatched spare human parts.

― Well, that's a fine howdy adieu! (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 24 June 2020 01:47 (five years ago)

https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/pixar/images/9/98/Ducky.png/revision/latest/top-crop/width/360/height/360?cb=20200102012854

― Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, 24 June 2020 04:45 (five years ago)

welp thanks, thread.

Now that I've seen, this, I will probably have a nightmare that I am Luca Brasi getting garroted, but instead of piano wire, they'll be using one of CT's pubes

― I hear that sometimes Satan wants to defund police (Neanderthal), Friday, 26 June 2020 02:51 (five years ago)

Seven days from today, Carrot Top's pubes will crawl out of your computer screen and do prop comedy at you until you die

― shout-out to his family (DJP), Tuesday, June 23, 2020 3:47 PM bookmarkflaglink

"I call this the 'Rubik's Pube'...."

― I hear that sometimes Satan wants to defund police (Neanderthal), Friday, 26 June 2020 03:02 (five years ago)

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