masturbating to music you love

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do people do this? i once did it by mistake while purple rain was playing softly in the background (couldnt be bothered to turn it off) and cant help but think of masturbating whenever i hear it now. luckily, i never really liked that song.

― dickvandyke (dickvandyke), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 13:09 (twenty-one years ago)

hahaha purple rain sounds unheathy.

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 13:12 (twenty-one years ago)

Classic. It's like you get to have sex with the music itself. Especially that lovely organ that just sort of ... hangs there... in "What Goes On".

I can't believe that I just admitted that on the internet.

― Super-Masonic Black Hole (kate), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 13:12 (twenty-one years ago)

all the f-in time.

― Velveteen Bingo (Chris V), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 13:13 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah, its almost more intimate than shagging someone else with music in the background cos its just you and the music, not some pesky partner to interrupt things and get in the way.

― dickvandyke (dickvandyke), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 13:13 (twenty-one years ago)

The downside is when you turn the music up too loud and your mum / your partner / the vicar walks in.

― MikeyG (MikeyG), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 13:14 (twenty-one years ago)

I prefer silence. It's a solemn act.

― Wooden (Wooden), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 13:14 (twenty-one years ago)

stairway to heaven would be a good one... start slow, then builds up into the epic, plus you can play penis guitar to the solo!

(PENIS SOLO indeed!)

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 13:15 (twenty-one years ago)

dickvandyke = cman?

― ___ (___), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 13:15 (twenty-one years ago)

hahahaha@kenc.

― dickvandyke (dickvandyke), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 13:16 (twenty-one years ago)

"A penis, a penis, the greatest gift that I possess
I thank the lord, that I possess more than my share of a penis"

― Dadaismus (Dada), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 13:18 (twenty-one years ago)

It would take too long to arrange background music. Do you guys plan your masturbation sessions that long in advance?

― hobart paving (hobart paving), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 13:21 (twenty-one years ago)

And why does the phrase 'masturbation sessions' sound so... not right?

― hobart paving (hobart paving), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 13:22 (twenty-one years ago)

masturbation is the only time i have to have it pretty quiet. It must be pretty obvious when I'm having a wank because the sounds eminating from my room go from a noisey racket to a subtle wet thwapping sound. I just tell my family it's because I'm listening to Philip Glass.

― dog latin (dog latin), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 13:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Sometimes you have to turn down the walkman or the young couple will hear you in the bushes.

― MikeyG (MikeyG), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 13:23 (twenty-one years ago)

It must be pretty obvious when I'm having a wank because the sounds eminating from my room go from a noisey racket to a subtle wet thwapping sound.

ok.. how do you know this?

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 13:24 (twenty-one years ago)

you set up a tape recorder outside? you asked your sister to sit outside and then describe the sound for you in the post mortem?

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 13:26 (twenty-one years ago)

maybe hes listening to the sound of his session on headphones with a metranome for perfectly rhythmic strokes.

― dickvandyke (dickvandyke), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 13:31 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't really love the music they use in porn, no.

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 13:32 (twenty-one years ago)

i don't masturbate.

― jesus nathalie (nathalie), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 13:32 (twenty-one years ago)

you might if you had the right soundtrack.

― dickvandyke (dickvandyke), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 13:32 (twenty-one years ago)

*Listening* and *masturbating* are at odds with each other. Focus on the the task at hand, people!

― Harold Media (kenan), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 13:34 (twenty-one years ago)

DOG LATIN'S SISTER IS TOO PURE TO DO THAT LISTENING THING

― Markelby (Mark C), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 13:34 (twenty-one years ago)

*in hand*

― dickvandyke (dickvandyke), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 13:35 (twenty-one years ago)

i'd say you should just play it by the ear

xxpost

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 13:35 (twenty-one years ago)

*Listening* and *masturbating* are at odds with each other. Focus on the the task at hand, people!

There's something to this. On the other hand, if you do it without fantasising, just paying attention to your body and how it reacts to the stimulus, it can be even more entertaining. And it lasts longer.

And I probably should stop contributing to this conversation now.

― hobart paving (hobart paving), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 13:38 (twenty-one years ago)

The spoken word bit at the start of Birdland by Patti Smith always gives me the stonk.

― MikeyG (MikeyG), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 13:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Anything by Birdland makes me moist.

― Markelby (Mark C), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 13:40 (twenty-one years ago)

MULTITASKING.

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 13:40 (twenty-one years ago)

omg I could be dreaming by B+S when Isobel Campbell starts reciting Rip Van Winkle!!!!! omg excuse me while i go for a quick session.

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 13:41 (twenty-one years ago)

Birdland! The very definition of the indie amnesty.

B&S are for people with dwarfed dongers

― MikeyG (MikeyG), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 13:43 (twenty-one years ago)

sometimes imagining a scenario rather than using any sort of stimulus - visual or musical - makes it better. why, just last week, i was dying of frustration while at a dinner party.......

― dickvandyke (dickvandyke), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 13:43 (twenty-one years ago)

It's tricky when DJing, but not impossible.

― MikeyG (MikeyG), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 13:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Isn't it frightfully good to have a dong...

― beanz (beanz), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 13:47 (twenty-one years ago)

i thought all DJs were into wankerie while playing their sets.

*cymbal crash*

― dickvandyke (dickvandyke), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 13:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Great songs about wanking:

Orgasm Addict

― MikeyG (MikeyG), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 13:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Hello Kitten

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 13:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Shaft, natch.

― MikeyG (MikeyG), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 13:49 (twenty-one years ago)

prince's tambourine is about wanking i think.

― dickvandyke (dickvandyke), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 13:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Just

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 13:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Shirl3y Mans0n has brought me to many a climax.

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 13:54 (twenty-one years ago)

you know I saw her walking down Michigan Ave. once, she is hot.

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 13:55 (twenty-one years ago)

which might make up for me not liking her music, I dunno.

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 13:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Millenium Prayer?

― MikeyG (MikeyG), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 14:01 (twenty-one years ago)

"Pictures of Lily," of course.

― Rock Hardy (Rock Hardy), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 19:01 (twenty-one years ago)

"Pictures of Lily," of course. I'm pretty sure the brass part signifies the wank itself.

― Rock Hardy (Rock Hardy), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 19:02 (twenty-one years ago)

(oops. premature punctuation.)

― Rock Hardy (Rock Hardy), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 19:03 (twenty-one years ago)

Did you have TWO orgasms there, Rock Hardy? /pursed brow

― Markelby (Mark C), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 19:04 (twenty-one years ago)

I hold the secret to male multiple orgasm. It's right here in my pocket.

― Rock Hardy (Rock Hardy), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 19:19 (twenty-one years ago)

I always knew this topic would come up someday. (Though I thought it would be on ILM.)

― morris pavilion (samjeff), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 19:23 (twenty-one years ago)

We don't need to talk about it on ILM...

― R.I.M.A. (Barima), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 20:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Check the FAQ.

― R.I.M.A. (Barima), Wednesday, 18 August 2004 20:45 (twenty-one years ago)

tori amos- icicle icicle

― doc, Thursday, 19 August 2004 16:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Minus one 'icicle' forgive me

― doc, Thursday, 19 August 2004 16:13 (twenty-one years ago)

three years pass...

i have no shame left, and i just gotta ask. to the guys here -- is it normal to, just once in a while, pop a boner to a great new song you're just hearing for the first time?

i'm only asking here because i didn't want to start a new thread.

― andi, Sunday, 28 October 2007 02:52 (eighteen years ago)

better than beating it to music you hate.

― Oilyrags, Sunday, 28 October 2007 03:04 (eighteen years ago)

It doesn\'t matter, who\'s wrong or right.

― Consomelia Chisbreth-Vermeer, Sunday, 28 October 2007 03:32 (eighteen years ago)

which song, andi? this is important

― Lingbert, Sunday, 28 October 2007 03:37 (eighteen years ago)

http://andrew.org/wp-content/uploads/2006/09/japan-ghosts-39575.jpg

― Curt1s Stephens, Sunday, 28 October 2007 03:39 (eighteen years ago)

Grinderman's "No Pussy Blues" was made for this, I'm sure

― robertwolf8080, Sunday, 28 October 2007 04:25 (eighteen years ago)

xxpost - oh, it can happen to anything, as long as i love it. i think it last happened when i was listening to 'the best of wham!' last week. the time before that was because of m83, i think.

― andi, Sunday, 28 October 2007 09:46 (eighteen years ago)

haha, curtis. it took me a minute to get that.

― andi, Sunday, 28 October 2007 09:48 (eighteen years ago)

Can't do it. Also can't really watch porn that has music I love in the background. I once started watching some that had New Order's "Crystal" in it, and it was confusing to my brains.

― roxymuzak, Sunday, 28 October 2007 13:43 (eighteen years ago)

is it normal to, just once in a while, pop a boner to a great new song you're just hearing for the first time?

Do guys really do this? That is AWESOME.

― roxymuzak, Sunday, 28 October 2007 13:44 (eighteen years ago)

Maybe they feel it is a flesh microphone?

― Consomelia Chisbreth-Vermeer, Sunday, 28 October 2007 22:39 (eighteen years ago)

its the bass

― Jarlrmai, Sunday, 28 October 2007 22:45 (eighteen years ago)

I have yet to encounter a dildo with a loudspeaker in the tip, much less a double-ender to provide stereo experience for pussy and ass.

― Consomelia Chisbreth-Vermeer, Sunday, 28 October 2007 22:55 (eighteen years ago)

"encounter"

― Jarlrmai, Sunday, 28 October 2007 23:29 (eighteen years ago)

Cabaret Voltaire will always be #1 in this department for me, I think.

― Bimble, Tuesday, 30 October 2007 05:43 (eighteen years ago)

if by 'music' you mean 'the sound of people fucking', then yeah
music ruins it for me

― the sir weeze, Tuesday, 30 October 2007 05:50 (eighteen years ago)

i don't think he means that.

― J0rdan S., Tuesday, 30 October 2007 06:36 (eighteen years ago)

twelve years pass...

did it to Charles Ives's "Putnam Camp" and severely injured myself

― narcissistic sleighride (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 1 April 2020 04:38 (six years ago)

Confirming this will flag the post for the attention of the moderators. Posters whose posts get many flags may be limited from posting or banned from the site.

― flopson, Wednesday, 1 April 2020 04:42 (six years ago)

can a mod move this to ILTMI

― flopson, Wednesday, 1 April 2020 04:45 (six years ago)

done

― brimstead, Wednesday, 1 April 2020 05:46 (six years ago)

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