and then my mind just goes completely blank

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This seems to be happening an awful lot lately. I begin an interaction with a girl, it goes to three brief sentences each, then, thats it. then it just feels all of a sudden like everything has been said,if a conversations is fire, I am running out of fuel very quickly, My mind goes blank and I turn back to my friends and their inquisitive and mocking glances. What is going wrong. I feel this may well have something to do with my period of severe drought.

― lukey (Lukey G), Monday, 23 August 2004 14:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Doesn't this happen to everyone??

― Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 23 August 2004 14:36 (twenty-one years ago)

pretend you're writing on an ILX thread and you'll be spouting nonsense to no end...

― colette (a2lette), Monday, 23 August 2004 14:36 (twenty-one years ago)

otm

― dog latin (dog latin), Monday, 23 August 2004 14:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Just talk about cars for several hours. Hahaha!

― Wooden (Wooden), Monday, 23 August 2004 14:41 (twenty-one years ago)

Until you start talking in acronyms and in-jokes which are impenetrable to an OutSider.

― Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (Nick Southall), Monday, 23 August 2004 14:41 (twenty-one years ago)

OTM, i was thinking of that...

― colette (a2lette), Monday, 23 August 2004 14:42 (twenty-one years ago)

I feel worse when they ask questions that are not exactly ridiculous or unanswerable or anything, but I just can't seem to respond to them in ways that would make further conversationing appropriate. Example:

Her: So, what do you do?
Me: *pause*
Me: Um, fuck around, mostly.
Me: *pause*
Her: Yeah, okay, I've gotta go.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 23 August 2004 14:44 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm having this problem at the moment. Sheesh, this is so unlike me!

― Super-Masonic Black Hole (kate), Monday, 23 August 2004 14:46 (twenty-one years ago)

So, so feeling you, Nickalicious.

― Wooden (Wooden), Monday, 23 August 2004 14:47 (twenty-one years ago)

this is when you should be asking questions, not answering any. Let them babble on while your mind wanders.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 23 August 2004 14:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Come pre-armed with 5 interesting topics or questions. When in doubt, go to this list.

― mcd (mcd), Monday, 23 August 2004 14:49 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm trying to think of silly, lighthearted, "getting to know you" icebreaker type questions like "what time in history would you live in?" or "what's your favourite building or architectural work?" and I'm just a boring, dull blank. Blah.

― Super-Masonic Black Hole (kate), Monday, 23 August 2004 14:49 (twenty-one years ago)

h, you are of course right, i guess usually the problem really arises when you find that she is asking you questions right back. which means that both sides end up in this brief period of rapidfire questions and responses, and then yoy both end up defensive etc. the bitch of it being that the parity in the two sides resposes may well be an indication that they are wll matched. Although in fairness i think i am way out on a limb with that last point. Wooden GRRR!

― lukey (Lukey G), Monday, 23 August 2004 14:52 (twenty-one years ago)

ask them what kind of dinosaur they like. ask them which kind of cheese they'd be. ask if they'd pick truth or consequences. ask which character from _______ (pick a show or film you like a lot that other people probably know as well) they'd be. ask which of madonna's many looks is their favorite.

bram and i came up with a whole series of these that we were supposed to ask people when we met them. can't remember most of them now, though. (we were in T&C at the time, hence the question)

― colette (a2lette), Monday, 23 August 2004 14:54 (twenty-one years ago)

okay maybe this is why I only talk with my friends, I dunno.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 23 August 2004 14:55 (twenty-one years ago)

We should all get together and design a pack of cards with one ice breaking subject on each, and call them Oblique Topics or summat.

What fish would you most like to snog?

― Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (Nick Southall), Monday, 23 August 2004 14:55 (twenty-one years ago)

We should all get together and design a pack of cards with one ice breaking subject on each, and call them Oblique Topics or summat.

i think people would buy that, actually...

― colette (a2lette), Monday, 23 August 2004 14:56 (twenty-one years ago)

I mean I like meeting new people, I just don't, ever, seemingly.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 23 August 2004 14:57 (twenty-one years ago)

OK, I officially claim the idea as my own, with Colette and Kate as co-designers. Anyone else want in?

― Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (Nick Southall), Monday, 23 August 2004 14:58 (twenty-one years ago)

I was on a first date a while back where pretty much the entire four hour conversation consisted of oblique topics, just firing stupid questions back and forward. Its amazing how quickly it relaxes you and how quickly you learn about what a person's really like. It's cool, I should do it more often.

Actually, Southall's question pretty much sums up Trig Brother ;)

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Monday, 23 August 2004 14:58 (twenty-one years ago)

"Which conspiracy theory has the best chance of actually running the world - Freemasons, Illuminati, The Trilateral Commission, or ???"

Actually, I like that one. I'm going to use that now.

― Super-Masonic Black Hole (kate), Monday, 23 August 2004 15:00 (twenty-one years ago)

Sorry Lukey.

― Wooden (Wooden), Monday, 23 August 2004 15:00 (twenty-one years ago)

Kate - TWELVE FOOT LIZARDS.

― Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (Nick Southall), Monday, 23 August 2004 15:02 (twenty-one years ago)

don't apologise! we'll send him a free set of the new ILX conversation cards to help!

― colette (a2lette), Monday, 23 August 2004 15:02 (twenty-one years ago)

If you were spinach, would you prefer to be fresh or canned?

― Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (Nick Southall), Monday, 23 August 2004 15:03 (twenty-one years ago)

I've been talking to a lady recently and I find it necessary to blurt out "I don't have anything else to say or ask you and I know that's kind of a problem but it's really hard but I'm happy we're on the phone." Or "Hi, I don't really know why I called you except to just call you and so there." I get all nervous and shit.

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Monday, 23 August 2004 15:46 (twenty-one years ago)

if someone said they didn't know what to say but were happy we were on the phone I think I'd be blown away.

sometimes I get this mind going blank thing that lukey talks about, but I think I usually hold things together for enough of conversations that people put up with it until such time as I know them enough for my mind not to go blank anymore.

― Ronan (Ronan), Monday, 23 August 2004 15:49 (twenty-one years ago)

this is when you should be asking questions, not answering any. Let them babble on while your mind wanders.
-- hstencil (hstenc!...), August 23rd, 2004.

This is usually my strategy, but after a while it becomes obvious that I am just randomly asking questions as they tend to get more and more ridiculous.

i.e. "So, do you like space?"

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Monday, 23 August 2004 16:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Jeanne, that's totally appealing. Don't sweat it.

(I once read your name as it's written and you've metamorphosed into "Jefourne", which sounds like some hiphop name)

― Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 23 August 2004 16:03 (twenty-one years ago)

I asked a guy I met the other night if he'd won any championships. We weren't on the subject of any sport or hobby, I just blurted it out. And it didn't go over well.

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Monday, 23 August 2004 16:04 (twenty-one years ago)

I think for the most part I like listening during conversations better than speaking anyway.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 23 August 2004 16:05 (twenty-one years ago)

I would think that was kind of charming, but I'm weird.

x- post

― Leon Czolgosz (Nicole), Monday, 23 August 2004 16:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Me too, Stence. I feel uncomfortable talking after a while.

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Monday, 23 August 2004 16:08 (twenty-one years ago)

Ronan OTM about being blown away. If someone said that to me I think I'd propose.

― Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (Nick Southall), Monday, 23 August 2004 16:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Well then, I guess it's sometimes good to blurt out what's on my mind. (Most times, however, WOW would that get me in trouble.) Oh and I rather listen, too, but I don't want to seem boring or not good at conversation.

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Monday, 23 August 2004 16:12 (twenty-one years ago)

xpost - it's not so much uncomfortable as I just like listening! I dunno, people always tell me I'm a good listener or something.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 23 August 2004 16:12 (twenty-one years ago)

maybe you have a voice fetish

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Monday, 23 August 2004 16:16 (twenty-one years ago)

only for Scott Walker's voice.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 23 August 2004 16:19 (twenty-one years ago)

this is why it rocks when you can find people to hang out with who aren't self-conscious about periods of quiet.

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Monday, 23 August 2004 16:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Well it's always a bit awkward at first - periods of quiet, that is.

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Monday, 23 August 2004 16:29 (twenty-one years ago)

...

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Monday, 23 August 2004 16:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Hargh! I totally did this last night. I think the worst thing is when it becomes secretly acknowledged that you like someone and they like you back - but neither of you know what to do.

It was my friend's birthday and her cute cousin was over to stay. We hadn't even been introduced properly when towards the beginning of the night said friend told me that the cousin was allegedly keen on me. This illicit knowledge totally destroyed any of my abilities to speak to the cousin in any normal manner whatsoever - I felt under pressure throughout the whole night about whether to talk to her and how.
I eventually introduced myself whilst shaking violently inside and asked the appropriate chit chatty questions (where are you down from? what are you doing with your life? ZZzzz...) but then started gabbing away about something utterly irrelevant and probably quite boring. Later on I managed to strike up a conversation about rhinoceroses and then about David Icke's reptilians.
Well fucking done Charlie, now she thinks you really are proper nuts.

The end of the night came, we'd been smoking some extravagant weed, I went for a peck on the cheek to say goodbye, ended up smacking my cheekbone fairly hard against hers, stood up, smacked my head on the stairwell then muttered something about "craptacular exit".

What I'm getting at is I think I'd have been far more capable of holding a civilised conversation with this girl had I not been rendered a gibbering wreck from being told that she liked me, see?

ah fuck it it's 10.05am.

― dog latin (dog latin), Tuesday, 24 August 2004 08:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Being told that someone is keen on me usually (ha usually like it happens with any frequency) makes it easier for me to talk to them, cause most of the time I'm chatting with someone new I'm wondering what they think of me which can create mental blocks, which in turn can lead to awkward silences cause you're brain is busy doing meta things instead of focused on the conversation.
However, I can totally picture what happened to you, dl, happening to me, too.

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 24 August 2004 08:15 (twenty-one years ago)

It's just that I end up too busy thinking about whether I should be making any moves and if so how and if not then what etc. etc. And also the whole trying to be relaxed and feeling embarassed because you know they like you but you've kinda got to pretend you don't know.
At least if I don't know then I can make as much of a tit of myself as I like without becoming a paranoid apologetic clown.

― dog latin (dog latin), Tuesday, 24 August 2004 08:29 (twenty-one years ago)

dog latin, totally with you. The thing is, when you know they like you, you are at this point where almost the only thing you can do is fuck it up. Then when you do fuck it up even a little bit (a natural part of conversation, especially when nervous) you beat your self over it, in other words knowing that a girl likes you is a sure fire recipe for self consciousness. I dont spose i need tell you that hydro is so good because it makes you a little crazy, something not well suited to the more delicate social persuits.

― lukey (Lukey G), Tuesday, 24 August 2004 08:30 (twenty-one years ago)

I dont spose i need tell you that hydro is so good because it makes you a little crazy, something not well suited to the more delicate social persuits.

Err... I understood everything you said up until that last sentence. You talking about smoking weed? No that was no help at all - every time I said anything it sounded ridiculous and didn't even make a whole lot of sense.

The thing is, when you know they like you, you are at this point where almost the only thing you can do is fuck it up.

Haha, like performance anxiety before you've even got in bed! Yeh, suddenly you've got all these expectations to live up to. I hadn't even spoken to the girl before I was told she liked me so my personality had to live up to my dashing good looks ;-p Unfortunately my personality consisted of talking too loudly about absolute bollocks - "S--ss-so what does a rhino look like again? I can't remember it's been years since I've seen one and I keep thinking of a triceratops... y'know a dinosaur - yes I know they've got horns I just can't picture one.." utter utter rubbish.

― dog latin (dog latin), Tuesday, 24 August 2004 08:45 (twenty-one years ago)

"aardvarks are mad too innit - do you know they've got their skeletons on the outside of their bodies? that's like totally messed up like ewwww!" blahblhablhablhalbah.

― dog latin (dog latin), Tuesday, 24 August 2004 08:51 (twenty-one years ago)

This is why I don't take drugs.

― Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (Nick Southall), Tuesday, 24 August 2004 09:00 (twenty-one years ago)

but dude, that's what i was saying BEFORE i smoked anything. I'd had two pints.

― dog latin (dog latin), Tuesday, 24 August 2004 09:07 (twenty-one years ago)

David Icke shit was the hot romantic topic afterwards.

― dog latin (dog latin), Tuesday, 24 August 2004 09:08 (twenty-one years ago)

Fucking hell, man.

― Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (Nick Southall), Tuesday, 24 August 2004 09:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Drugs in making people fucking tedious non-shocker.

― Markelby (Mark C), Tuesday, 24 August 2004 09:11 (twenty-one years ago)

yea I meant weed smoking is best avoided when one is trying to pull, basicly because it makes you think too much. I also find their is this crisis point where you decide to give up, and do the work for the other person, by that i mean where you stop trying to act cool and aloof and start talking about dinosaurs. I think this occurs essentially because you want to have concrete reasons in your head why things went wrong, in other words it is easyer to regret things that you did/said rather than things that you are.

― lukey (Lukey G), Tuesday, 24 August 2004 09:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Barry being all Barry about drugs shocker!

― Ricardo (RickyT), Tuesday, 24 August 2004 09:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Fear of rejection/failure leading to self-sabotage. My girlfriend and my elder brother do this all the fucking time. Drives me mad.

― Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (Nick Southall), Tuesday, 24 August 2004 09:39 (twenty-one years ago)

hehe, it was either go back to my friend's house after the pub and chat some more over a spliff or go home - that was the choice.

― dog latin (dog latin), Tuesday, 24 August 2004 09:44 (twenty-one years ago)

I would have gone with the former.

― lukey (Lukey G), Tuesday, 24 August 2004 09:55 (twenty-one years ago)

I asked a guy I met the other night if he'd won any championships.

OMG, this is so cute! i wish someone would ask me that!

and, um, talking about dinosaurs usually is one of my most successful conversational gambits. guess it depends on who you're asking.

― colette (a2lette), Tuesday, 24 August 2004 10:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Eusthenopteron. You?

― Markelby (Mark C), Tuesday, 24 August 2004 10:43 (twenty-one years ago)

alamosaurus!

http://www.tmm.utexas.edu/sponsored_sites/dino_pit/images/alamosaurus.jpg

― colette (a2lette), Tuesday, 24 August 2004 10:52 (twenty-one years ago)

I would have gone with the former.

er.. yeh, that's what i did - hence stonedness innit?

― dog latin (dog latin), Tuesday, 24 August 2004 11:04 (twenty-one years ago)

Shit, Eusthenopteron is a fish! I meant Ankylosaurus:

http://www.dinosaurier-interesse.de/web/Bilder/Ankylosaurus.gif

― Markelby (Mark C), Tuesday, 24 August 2004 11:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Look at that tail! To the bumsex thread with you, Barry!

― Super-Masonic Black Hole (kate), Tuesday, 24 August 2004 11:54 (twenty-one years ago)

It just occurred to me that when I was looking for a pic of ankylosaurus, I was initially disappointed I couldn't find a photograph. I am teh fucking stupid.

― Markelby (Mark C), Tuesday, 24 August 2004 12:14 (twenty-one years ago)

I had this great dinosaur JR Tshirt once, with a picture of a pubescent girl smoking on it. I was 17 at the time, some doctor friends of my parents said I was encouraging moral delinquancy or some shit.

― lukey (Lukey G), Tuesday, 24 August 2004 12:17 (twenty-one years ago)

why you must be kidding
http://home.no.net/paleo/ankylosaur/ankylosaurus_3.jpg

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 24 August 2004 12:18 (twenty-one years ago)

aw and a baby one
http://village.infoweb.ne.jp/~dinodino/gallery/ank.JPG

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 24 August 2004 12:19 (twenty-one years ago)

I like this dinosaur thread.

― dog latin (dog latin), Tuesday, 24 August 2004 12:28 (twenty-one years ago)

I've started doing this with people I have to phone for work.

Them: Hello, Name Of Company.
Me: (Shit, shit, why have I phoned them? WHY? Who works there ? Who works there that I know well enough to explain this to?) Um... hello .... can I speak to ... oh ... Tom ...or .... Sam?
Them: Which one?
Me: Oh, either.
Them: What are you calling about?
Me: (Oh for the love of Jesus) Um... an album ... oh ... umm ... THE KNIFE! It was The Knife album! (sweet relief).
Them: (crikey, this one's mental) Who's calling?
Me: It's (utter horror and blankness) it's (just SAY YOUR NAME) it's Anna [sound of mental cogs creaking] F!elding.
Them: You want Tom, putting you through.

This is not the first time, nor will it be the last.

― Anna (Anna), Tuesday, 24 August 2004 12:31 (twenty-one years ago)

THAT IS THE ABSOLUTE WORST. Multiple times I have walked into someone's office, said "I was going to ask you something but now I have no idea what it was," and walked out, only to come back half an hour later saying "Oh yeah, can you release such-and-such class file so I can update blah-blah-blah and should this part do this etc etc etc?" and the person is all, "You still don't remember, do you?" and I say "No, but I bet I've brought a little sunshine into your drab day."

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 24 August 2004 12:42 (twenty-one years ago)

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