What Sex (and/or Gender) is the Snuggle Bear?

(xpost you would)

http://www.gay-cards.com/postcards/images/bear5.jpg

Oh, the snuggling!

The Scrubbing Bubbles are so committed to clean that sex is no longer an issue...

*does so, scratches head* Did you never hear of the term 'bear' before now, Dan?

That's right. I go both ways.

(But seriously -- I don't know what with me today. I'm loopy. I apologize to all those involved.)

This subject is worthy of a FAQ by itself. It's a complex question,
not only because many stuffed animals have individual qualities that
require different approaches to cleaning, but also because it seems
most of us have different ideas about how to clean our plush friends.
As for myself, I think the best way to keep a stuffed animal clean is
to try not to get it dirty in the first place. Most importantly, I
always make sure *I* am clean before I handle or snuggle my plushies,
because inevitably, whatever grime is on my hands, clothes, or body is
going to end up in my cuddlemate's plush. Dirt, dust, body oil, sweat,
skin flakes, hair, lint, even the smoky fallout from one's kitchen -
all these foreign substances will accumulate in a plushie's fur over
time, and getting them out - especially if the fur has become tangled
or matted - can be a major chore. Since most stuffed animals are
'limited editions' which years from now won't be replaceable, keeping
a favorite plushie clean is crucial to prolonging its life.

On a week-to-week basis, the best thing to do for a regularly-cuddled
plushie is to give it a good thorough combing. This will minimize the
tendency for the fur to get tangled and matted. Plush that you have
around the house just for display purposes should be combed at least
once monthly to get the dust out of their fur. Make sure to use a comb
that is dedicated solely for the purpose of grooming your plushies,
though. Anything that is on a comb will work its way into a plushie's
fur, too, and you definitely don't want to get scalp oils, dander, or
the residue of styling gunk embedded into a stuffed animal's plush.

For simple clean-ups, there is an excellent commercial product called
'Bubble G u n d' that works wonders on plush that is moderately soiled.
Spray lightly onto the soiled area, rub it into the plush with a clean
dry towel, let it dry thoroughly, then buff the fur briskly with
another clean dry towel. The results are usually quite pleasing.

Sometimes, however, radical surgery is required to clean a seriously
dirty plushie. This should only be done, though, if you're skilled in
the art of sewing. Undo enough of the seams to completely remove the
stuffing, then hand-wash the plush 'skin' in a dilute solution of a
mild detergent like Woolite. After you're done with the hand-washing,
dry the fur by hand, as well. Re-stuff the plushie using only fresh
new Poly-fil (available at most arts and crafts stores), and re-sew.

Be aware that semen or vaginal fluid can mar plush fur if it's left to
dry untreated. If this concerns you, be sure to comb and dry the fur
thoroughly right after sex, and untangle all the stuck-together plush.
If the sexual fluid has already dried, re-moisten it with a damp
cloth, and then untangle the plush.

Whatever method you choose to clean a plushie, try to avoid soaking the
inner stuffing. Some stuffed animals are indeed made to be machine
washable, but most are not, and getting the stuffing wet will at best
make a plushie undesirably lumpy inside, and at worst, ruin it by
encouraging the internal growth of mold and mildew rot.

*shudders*

"The Snuggle bear puppet was designed by Kermit Love (who created the costume of Big Bird for PBS's SESAME STREET). The Snuggle puppet used in the 30-second TV spots needs three puppeteers to operate it, among them Love's partner, Nikki Tilroe. The Snuggle Bear voice was provided by veteran voice actor Corinne Orr. Her Snuggles' voice was based on a previous character called Spridle's, a little boy character on the animated Tatsunoko Production cartoon series SPEED RACER/SYN/1967. However, Spridle's voice is a bit hoarser. Since his debut Snuggle Bear has been the subject of some humorous stories like the Grudge Match between Snuggle and Winnie the Pooh. And then there was THE DAVID LETTERMAN SHOW that featured the Top 10 Fears of Snuggle the Fabric Softener Bear on November 29, 1988. (per The Book of Top Ten Lists, 1990). They included:

10. Might someday have to chew own leg off to escape from lint trap.
9 Sleeping in laundry basket exposes him to attack by housecats.
8. He may wind up in a washer with Al Sharpton's undershirts.
7. People will find out about that mauled camper back in '78.
6. Excess softener will leave him unable to perform as a male.
5. First wife Joey Heatherton will write book claiming he beat her regularly.
4 Winnie-the-Pooh will get drunk at family gathering and start loudly suggesting that he should be the fabric softener bear.
3. Something might happen to George Bush.
2. Company doctors will perform some kind of surgery to insure he remains "snuggly" forever.
1 The Pillsbury Doughboy will ask him to poke lower."