Fake Tan Fuckup

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I look like I've been tangoed. Help. I had to come home early 'cause I was sick of trying to pull my sleeves down to hide my arms that have two distinct lines - not even straight, but wavy and a pukey shade of burnt orange. I used false tan wipes (I've never used them before) and the colour comes up after a few hours so every trip to the loo and glance in the mirror revealed a new painfully obvious streak of feigned sunkissedness.

It's awful and I can't get it off. I've sat in the bath for the last 30 mins scrubbing my skin raw and it ain't shifting.

Is there any quick way to remove this shit? Or do I have to let it wear off? Please don't mention blow torches 'cause I'm so desperate I might just try it. I've to go out tomorrow and it'll be harder to hide in daylight.

Penelope_111 (Penelope_111), Friday, 27 August 2004 22:51 (twenty-one years ago)

i am crying with laughter!

jed_ (jed), Friday, 27 August 2004 22:59 (twenty-one years ago)

sucker

AaronHz (AaronHz), Friday, 27 August 2004 22:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Dont be horrible, help me, Jed!

Penelope_111 (Penelope_111), Friday, 27 August 2004 23:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Apply more until it is even.

nickn (nickn), Friday, 27 August 2004 23:12 (twenty-one years ago)

Dye your hair green and join the Oompa-Loompas.

AaronHz (AaronHz), Friday, 27 August 2004 23:14 (twenty-one years ago)

what nick said.

i'm super nice!

jed_ (jed), Friday, 27 August 2004 23:14 (twenty-one years ago)

I am curious. Orange?

Dear me no.

Krankenhaus, Friday, 27 August 2004 23:15 (twenty-one years ago)

I tell you what, if they're casting somewhere, I'm in.

I now look like I've been scalded after all the scrubbing.

xpost

Penelope_111 (Penelope_111), Friday, 27 August 2004 23:16 (twenty-one years ago)

don't worry about getting rid of it. every time someone looks at you funny just say: "what¿ i have jaundice you fucking ass¡"

then milk that guilt for all it's worth.

dyson (dyson), Friday, 27 August 2004 23:19 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.donaly.com/George_Hamilton.jpg

jed_ (jed), Friday, 27 August 2004 23:24 (twenty-one years ago)

dyson got some good advice. take heed.

jed_ (jed), Friday, 27 August 2004 23:27 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm heeding
And bleeding

Penelope_111 (Penelope_111), Friday, 27 August 2004 23:28 (twenty-one years ago)

"Streaky jaundice?"

Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Friday, 27 August 2004 23:29 (twenty-one years ago)

"what¿ i have streaky jaundice you fucking ass¡"

jed_ (jed), Friday, 27 August 2004 23:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Streaky rashers?

Penelope_111 (Penelope_111), Friday, 27 August 2004 23:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Maybe you should tan your eyeballs too in order to complete the illusion.

Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Friday, 27 August 2004 23:31 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm not gonna get cured here, am I?

Penelope_111 (Penelope_111), Friday, 27 August 2004 23:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Actually, scratch that, I'm already too damn cured.

Penelope_111 (Penelope_111), Friday, 27 August 2004 23:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Like ham

Krankenhaus, Friday, 27 August 2004 23:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Precisely.

Ah fuck it, I'm going to bed to cry bitter rusty tears. Might as well have a streaky face to go with my streaky bod.

Penelope_111 (Penelope_111), Friday, 27 August 2004 23:37 (twenty-one years ago)

what's the fucking deal with the upside down question mark/exclamation point shit? we aren't speaking spanish here.

AaronHz (AaronHz), Friday, 27 August 2004 23:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Tom Waits says otheriwse.

jed_ (jed), Friday, 27 August 2004 23:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Que¿

AaronHz (AaronHz), Friday, 27 August 2004 23:58 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.sunless.com/application/getting_it_off.php

joseph pot (STINKOR™), Saturday, 28 August 2004 00:33 (twenty-one years ago)


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