Haircut - yes or no?

Jesus fucking christ, I just had the worst fucking haircut I've ever had. To make matters worse, it came at a very reputable barber's, where I've had many a great shearing. I'd never had THIS woman before. After asking me a load of weird, confusing questions about what I wanted, and being unusually morose during the cut, she left me with something about twice as long as it should be, with a pudding-bowl fringe and a helmet-like crown.

When I got home, I washed it, and then stared. Maybe it'll settle later? It is now later. Holy fuck. I go downstairs and find my dad. "I'm not going up to university tomorrow with this fucking haircut!" I yell. He suppresses some laughter. "What can I say? You should join the Christian society."

OK by now I'm mad, but help is at hand: my mum offers to at least elevate the pudding-bowl-ness at the front. Thus follows a half-comical, half-embarrassing escapade in which some glue scissors and a broken comb are applied to my forehead, my sole request being that she 'secularise my fringe'. That mission at least completed with surprising success, I look again and hey, I may still be a low-level curate, but I certainly look capable of participating in a barn-dance.

Thing is, I've still got the problem of this flat casque atop my bonce. I have thick hair, and the complete lack of clippering has rendered me squarer than a Tory politician. I have around 15 hours to rectify this. Nowhere will be open tomorrow. Any ideas?

Cut it all off, dead short.

Hmm.

I think what I'll do is sleep on it, then set out really early tomorrow morning to look for an open barber's. Then I'll ask for it to be 'clippered and layered all over', not to mention shortened. I don't have the skull for a shaving.

http://www.maniacworld.com/playing-with-fire.jpg

You don't have to go for a total shaving, but dead short hair is never as embarrassing as a Clint Boon cut.

http://members.iinet.net.au/~tyrian/clintboon.jpg

Louis, earlier today.

Get yourself a hat. Or a balaclava. Or maybe a large tub of Brylcreem.

Seriously though, this is why I don't let anyone else cut my hair. In my experience barbers can do short but ask for anything else and there's a real risk they'll make a mess of it.
As for an actual solution, try combing it into a shape you're happy with and then chop off the bits that look odd. This is what I do and I haven't had a "professional" cut my hair for over a decade. You'll probably want to loose the fringe and go for a side parting as fringes are tough to get right. At least you have the advantage that the barber left it quite long.

That is honestly what it would look like if I let it grow for a few months.

xpost

The fringe has (mostly) gone. My problem isn't that there are odd bits sticking out, it's that the hair needs thinning and spiking. That needs a professional job.

just get a nice short, boy next door, preppy haircut

http://www.buzz-cut.net/firstcut.php ?

just get a nice short, boy next door, preppy haircut

THAT'S WHAT I HAVE, I have a 'back to school' haircut, what I want is a spiky student haircut, like the one I've had all those times before.

This is so infuriating.

I want to hit things!

I have already hurt my foot kicking a table in despair.

and FUCK ME if my FUCKING BROTHER hasn't been listening to MOSELEY SHOALS ON REPEAT ALL FUCKING DAY, i'm gonna go and sort him out something major RIGHT FUCKING NOW

boring hair + dye (not completely green, obv., but something subtle) = less boring?

I don't have the money, time, nor inclination to dye it, alas.

As for my brother, this, ladies and gentlemen, is known as the 'Merzbow Reprisal'. Check fucking mate.

"what I want is a spiky student haircut"

no you don't, that's what nerdy blokes think is "trendy", just get a number four all over, then.

no, it's what looks good. as proven empirically, by the SCIENCE of mirrors and the PRIMARY HISTORICAL SOURCE of getting laid.

LJ, on Monday:

http://www.piratemerch.com/images/49108_pirate_bandana.jpg

;_;

DO NOT COPY THESE DUDES

http://www.wiskate.com/news/data/upimages/4-21_MP02.jpg

Louis, Wednesday

http://seekeronos.blogsome.com/wp-admin/images/burqa.jpg

FUCK YOU, UNHELPFUL COW WHO QUESTIONED MY REQUEST FOR CLIPPERS AND THEN SPENT TEN MINUTES FAFFING AROUND WITH SCISSORS UNTIL EVERY HAIR WAS EXACTLY THE SAME LENGTH, FUCK YOU, MAY YOU BE SACKED SOON

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/5/5c/20070102_per_erik_strandberg_balaclava_arranged.jpg/250px-20070102_per_erik_strandberg_balaclava_arranged.jpg

how's a cat gonna get any fresher's week tail with a toilet-brush on his head

See: every student disco ever

NO it does not WORK like that any more, and if i do get tail it will probably be t to the a minus i over l, if ya get what i mean

All I see in my local on student nights is horrible early 70s feather cuts and death-by-straightener concoctions. That's what you need LJ, straighteners. Tho why you youngsters want to look like that god only knows.

FUCK IT i hurt my ankle really badly, it might be a sprain, fucking table

and i just shaved whilst angry = face COVERED IN CUTS

i hate you, stupid barber, god i hate you

now for the aftershave THIS AIN'T GONNA STING I PROMISE

AAAAAAAAAAAAAGH

and now my brother is listening to CAT FUCKING STEVENS

LJ live shave blog extravaganza!

TELL US ABOUT YR TOOTH BRUSH

IT IS LYING INNOCENTLY IN ITS CUP, BUT WHO KNOWS WHAT ATROCITIES IT WILL COMMIT IF SOMEONE DOESN'T TURN HIS FUCKING CD PLAYER DOWN

Peace Train, d00d.

My thoughts are not of peace, they are of being insta-marked as a 'science club president' by 70 people I've never seen before. And how much Cat Stevens sucks.

wear a NEU tshirt so everyone will know you're cool

THIS IS SERIOUSLY CAUSING ME RAGE

YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW IMPOTENT THIS HAIR MAKES ME FEEL

Come on Samson, you've been in plays, you have a radio show, you've survived posting pictures of yourself in women's clothes on ILX - you're not the kind of person who should be afraid of first impressions.

dude just go somewhere else tomorrow and get it cut again.

next time remember to make an appt. with someone specific, not just go back to the same place and go to whoever.

and if yr near the end of the cut and the person says "so how's it look so far" say "well can we go a little shorter here/there, less of this etc"

YOU ARE IN CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE

I assumed that it being a high quality barbers, I'd get a high-quality cut. The horror only became apparent after I washed it.

I am going first thing tomorrow for a number 4. I just hope that the fringe modification won't prohibit the barbers from getting those spikes to rise.

My mum just now: "Hey - it's not so bad. We've never seen you like this before! You still look...human!"

Me: "The Dalai Lama looks human."

http://www.dalailama.com/uploads/gallery/printable5.gif

Just shave it, dude---the SHOCK of ZOMG short haired dandy will be better than...uh...whatever dutch boy fro or whatever it is you got now. Then as it grows it may be sculpted into the look of yr desire. You might find some nicer look before it grows out as long as you'd wished it to be.

I've done this after bad haircuts and I am a LADY! (Not shaved but cut it less that 1" long)

Like I say, it's going short. Real short. At least it'll be something new.

This year's Shatner Award goes to LJ. Great scenery-chewing there, li'l dude.

I don't get why Cat Stevens would put anyone over the edge...he seemed to be one of the few things cheering up Harold from constantly comitting elaborate fake suicides.

*bows*

The most effective Shakespearian technique: when in doubt, ham. Hence my greatest role, that of Gratiano. Be assured, however, that the rage expressed here was genuine. As I insisted to my broadly grinning parents: "I am angry! I. AM. ANGRY!"

Shaving your head is so nice for low maintainence. I'm gonna grow a beard again just so my only grooming chore will be a biweekly five minute shave job of my entire head and face with a number 2 attachment.

http://plaza.harmonix.ne.jp/~gnome/image/Haircut/Jacket-F.JPG

just about every guy I know has gotten a haircut in the past week. I kind of need one, too, but I mentioned this around some female friends of mine and they all had a powerfully negative reaction to the idea (although it wasn't "your hair looks fine the way it is now" so much as "all boy haircuts are horrible!").

anyway. after hearing LJ's horror story, I think I'll put it off until I can go home and get it cut by the barber who normally does mine.

i once wrote a poem about a bad haircut

YSI?

So, what happened?

got a very nice short'n'spiky cut. keep your eyes peeled on WDYLL for visual evidence...

Louis sounds like a fucking grade A cuntbubble on this thread. I never understood the hate before, but seriously, please die, vain misogynist try-hard scum.

aahhhhahahahaha

whaaaat?

if i do get tail it will probably be t to the a minus i over l, if ya get what i mean

what on earth is he talking about?

tips
====
1. Mr Toppers is not a reputable barber (although my hair always looked great from there)
2. i don't think your previously spiky hair was what got you laid, i wouldn't worry about it.
3. crying about your hair is what will definitely get you not laid.

^ that realness

Louis sounds like a fucking grade A cuntbubble on this thread. I never understood the hate before, but seriously, please die, vain misogynist try-hard scum.

-- emil.y, Sunday, 30 September 2007 17:35 (4 hours ago)

if a woman said she liked to look good and sleep with lots of attractive fellas, i don't think you'd object. (you might even think that was liberating) just because a man wants to put it around a bit doesn't mean he's a misogynist.

if a man said he likes to eat chilli and nintendo wii, i don't think anyone would object, either.

or if a woman said she likes ten pin bowling, and kissing every now and again.

sorry.. my point is that just because a man wants to eat chilli doesn't mean he's a misogynist.

i don't know why i am making this point, actually..

yet again somebody judges me on the internet and finds me wanting, what hope is there now ;_;

a spiky haircut?

yeah, i have that, but i have also become a cuntbubble, either through the MONSTROUS, DEPRAVED desire to at least have a fucking presentable haircut that might make me attractive to the opposite gender, or by calling my hairdresser a cow, in a moment of mock rage.

if it had been a man, it would have been 'bastard'. just sayin'.

aw it wasn't real rage?

anyways maybe if you tell your hairdresser how she'd wronged you she will feel guilty and let you shag her.

let her know how many shags she'd most likely have costed you, and she might repay you.

you should get someone to knock your front teeth out and then no one will notice your haircut!

mrray me

Oh man chili is so good...it's probably pretty easy to eat when you've knocked out your pearlies, too. I don't think they've had any other kind of bowling but ten-pin here in the states since the days of Rip Van Winkle.

Mr. Got Offed, you could buy yourself a fabulous wigs OR wear caps that are too large all the time; the latter would achieve the "I just had chemotherapy please pity me" vibe, which is a better way to achieve sympathy than by ranting about a haircut that probably only find the hideous.

probably only you, that is, but I think you should post pics of this haircut so we can all console you properly