Going to bars by yourself and drinking alone - C or D?

I like going out and drinking alone, but usually at one of my locals...for the same reason I like going to movies or museums alone: you can take it at your own speed and not have to worry about whether or not the other person's enjoying him or herself.

I totally go to gigs and stuff on my own too, and it's not so bad.

ailsa, this is why you are my ideal woman. Or possibly me posting when I'm too pissed to remember.

I'm in the UK. I quite often find myself with an hour to kill when waiting for a lift home, and would far rather sit in a pub than wander round the shops. I could go and get a coffee I guess, and I have done, but pubs are better for this than coffee shops. I just like pubs.

I never meet people by doing this. Never. Conversations do get struck up with strangers when watching the football (my other reason for going to the pub alone), but only about football, and they never become more than strangers-I-talk-to-at-the-football.

This fortnight has involved spending lots of time in pubs after work as I would rather be watching Wimbledon than standing in a bus queue and there is a sports bar handily placed between the office and the bus stop.

Nowadays I prefer to avoid people other than Bloke altogether, so I have a beer when I come home instead.

yeah me neither. i wish i had though, it seems like a really cool thing to do. The only times i do this is when i have plans to meet someone there and get bored before the actual meeting time. Then i wouldn't feel too self concious about being alone

I didn't know of this, but what a great idea. I always think I should go and sit in pubs to try and meet people (I am so bored at the moment, and would love nothing more than to go and talk to some strangers in a pub--impromptu Cambridge FAP anyone?), but feel I should have a sign, or a badge or something explaining that I want to talk to people.

however, when driving up north once on my own, i came off the m1 to go to a small pub for lunch somewhere in northamptonshire. as i entered, all the men sittign at the bar turned round and looked at me, and i ordered something under the gaze of everyone, then sat down. they then all turned back round and resumed not saying anything at all to each other, apart from every 10 mins saying something like "june hurt her back again last week". it was like pinter or something, i dont realyl fancy getting to that stage. i always converse nervously to fill in gaps in conversation, a horrible habit i know, so 10 people all just sitting there looking at a pint seemed beyond what i would endure, and not worth goign to the pub for.

but then my friend pointed out that they were probably just trying to get oyut of the house.

classic if it's not a habitual thing

yeah it's good once in a while.

Like Ailsa, I quite regularly go for a pint on my own on the way home from the shops, in much the way that I might go for a coffee. I don't want or look for a conversation, and I'd probably feel quite uncomfortable if someone tried to strike one up. I just want half an hour with a nice beer to sit and read or "people watch".

And I fairly often go to watch the footy on a Sunday afternoon and on those occasions I do sometimes have a bit of chat with whoever happens to be there - but even though I recognise some of them as "regulars", I don't know their names or talk to them about anything except the match.

I'm always tempted to go to the bar after dinner at home on my own on a weekday cuz it always seems such a mysterious time to be there. But then I rarely do have the courage/energy to get off the couch after 9pm

I guess this is all understandable, but so many creepy fucks drink on their own in pubs.

in my experience.

I do this a lot travelling for work, and it's OK. I find it way easier to strike up a conversation when I'm in the US, particularly in New York and Chicago. There seems to be some unwritten rule that if you sit at the bar then you are fair game for talking.

Yes, I think that's universal. Sit by yourself at bar = "I want to chat" vs. sit by yourself at table = "Leave me alone" (unless of course you are a girl sitting by yourself at a table sketching or writing in which case EVERY ANNOYING DRUNKEN NUTJOB IN THE WORLD will come over and try to chat you up, even if you say "Look, I'd really rather be alone, I'm trying to work/write/draw")

I really like going to bars, especially ones where they have bands playing, and sitting and drawing. Nice glass of wine, candlelight, good music. it's very stimulating creatively. Drunken berks who interupt you, not so stimulating creatively.

it's nice when i'm alone in bars in NY, as mentioned above people don't have a problem striking up a conversation if you're sat at the bar.

Moving to a table is a big message = I WANT TO BE ALONE

ooh xp

Classic.

I think I need to do more of this. Especially as the lights have gone in my flat and it's hard to draw in the dark. I can avoid getting them fixed as long as possible. And also save money on heating bills!

http://i132.photobucket.com/albums/q24/vafflez/07_43.jpg

I'm not a big fan of this really. I don't mind drinking alone but prefer to do it at home where I can a) pick whatever music I like and b) ramble incoherently to people on AIM chatz/MSN or whatever. I go to gigs all the time on my own though.

This is my MO, given half a chance.

Thing is though, if you actually go out to drink by yourself in a pub, you don't REALLY want to be alone. Maybe you don't want to talk to people per se, but the nice thing about drinking on your own in pubs, as opposed to drinking on your own at home, is that you're surrounded by background society.

"but feel I should have a sign, or a badge or something explaining that I want to talk to people."
"I guess this is all understandable, but so many creepy fucks drink on their own in pubs."
I think this is the problem...even though you may be open to someone just saying hi, people either think you're some sort of weirdo because you are on your own, or the only people that will talk to you are the creepy fucks.

never had anyone in ny chat me up whilst drinking alone in a bar

maybe i'm a creepy fuck myself

dell to thread

massive dud except when you're travelling/on holiday and there's a big football match on. then it's only minor dud.

total classic

When travelling for work my favorite thing is to go eat/drink at the bar of posh restaurants at which I couldn't be bothered to get a reservation beforehand. Even places that are solidly booked for months usually have no trouble seating a lone diner at the bar. I really like that I get to concentrate on the food/wine exclusively and not be distracted with chatty chat. And you get really attentive service because the barman is rightthere at all times.

this is good, although the flipside is you can get totally forgotten if at a table.

Only ever done it when I've been travelling on my own, and then someone often comes and talks to you because foreigners are friendlier than English people.

I love being free to flit about/leave/go to another bar/stay as long as I wish so i love going to bars alone.

I like drinking at bars alone very much in theory, but I have to have a book. Staring at the bottles on the back of the bar is just not enough entertainment for my brain, unless there's something in particular on TV. Would much rather sit at the bar than at a table, though, always. It's your only chance to find a rapport with the bartender, get buybacks, ask for the take-out menus if yr hungry, worm your way into the life of the establishment.

i did it once. it was a slow night and i ended up talking to the bartender and her friends (no one else in the bar), but i worry they all just thought i was a lame weirdo with no friends who they wished would just shut up already.

perhaps if i didn't fart so much when i drink they'd talk to me

i think they make a pill for th at

Tza next time yr in PDX, we should go to a bar alone together, like sit on opposite ends of the bar, never interact, and then later critique each other's alone-bar-going form, on the internet.

nb no one should actually do this ever I mean wow.

http://www.milams.com/rg_mrg1.jpg

wait, you mean no one should drink alone in the bar or no one should conduct this sort of market study?
xpost

The latter. Former is an all-too-common habit of mine.

there are worse things to do!

A list:

•Eating half a quart of ice cream because it's the only thing in the kitchen that requires no preparation (yo)

•Talking on your cell phone in a theatre

•Murder

Total classic, especially if you stick around till like 2 or so on a weeknight. As long as you've got a good bartender, you're never alone. Except if you don't speak each others' language. I also love meeting regulars. I used to work in the french quarter so I'd hang out at the bars all the service industry workers would go to before/after their shifts. You get some of the best stories this way.

i do this 1-2 times/week

tonight i went to catch the end of dodgers/mets game
the only tv screen not devoted to the game was set on the galaxy/seattle mls match, so after the mets won i chatted up the gal who was fixed on the soccer game

she was a total soccer/english premier league fanatic from seattle who was watching the game despite her disdain for mls level of play (jergins alert here ; ) what what)

very cool gal, love talking to random weirdos in bars, as long as they are not in full drunk incoherence mode

i'm always impressed by people who can sit staring into space and thinking while they drink alone in bars - i'm not sure i could manage that sort of sustained thought, i need a book or something as a crutch.

not just bars - people who are capable of sitting in a chair at home and just.... thinking. it is outrageously unattainable for me, like parkour or something!

idk i sit in chairs at home and stare vacantly at the walls sometimes, especially when i have a deadline on, surely not a huge step between that and thinking

i can zone out over stuff that's in front of me! but just sitting in a chair and thinking, that's some next level shit.

yeah they're probably just staring at the walls too though.

actually the thinking bit's easy, it's just managing to rid yourself of what's in front of you - i end up doing most of my ~thinking~ in bed or on walks.

I sit staring into space because that's all I am able to do

So if you're sitting at a table and you need another drink, do you leave all your stuff (coat, paper, bag etc) there and risk getting it stolen, or take it all with you and risk losing your table?

I think if I were still a smoker, the ban would've stopped me from drinking in pubs on my own.

I used to do this quite a lot years ago in a job I hated ... On very hot days I'd go to the hotel across the road in my lunch hour and sit in their air-conditioned bar with one pint of beer and a book. It was the one hour of pleasure in a generally hateful day.

So if you're sitting at a table and you need another drink, do you leave all your stuff (coat, paper, bag etc) there and risk getting it stolen

Fuck it, drink's more important than possessions

So if you're sitting at a table and you need another drink, do you leave all your stuff (coat, paper, bag etc) there and risk getting it stolen, or take it all with you and risk losing your table?

yes! or if you just need to go to the loo. i have never worked this one out and it's one of the reasons i rarely go to cafés or bars to work or drink alone.

I kind of trust people not to steal stuff, on the whole. Unless you're drinking in some shithole of course.

you take anything expensive (phone, computer, whatever) with you and you leave your coat or something else at the table so that you don't lose your place

if you have an expensive coat, you can't go out drinking alone

Pretty sure I've only ever had one thing stolen from me in a bar (a bag) and I've been drinking in them for a looooooooooooong time! In all sorts of dives and in all conceivable states of inebration.

no need to boast about simple good fortune

Tom D raining truth bombs down on this thread

I'm naive but 'appy

stuff gets nicked in london all the time! i never thought about it when i was living in new york but in london i ALWAYS put my bag under the chair i'm sitting in.

seriously tom, you are just plain lucky

btw my solution to this was just stop bringing a bag with me wherever i went. what was i, coming back from the gym? bringing important "work papers" home? you don't need a bag.

Well the bag did get stolen in London. I suspect in Glasgow thieves are more concerned about the possibility of getting a glass stuck in their face if caught in the act.

i'm always impressed by people who can sit staring into space and thinking while they drink alone in bars

I can do that quite easily when smoking a cigarette but you're right - now that the smoking ban has finally arrived in Belgium, drinking alone might be limited for me to summer terraces.

This bartender has a lethally heavy pour

also, her free drinks are way more generous than the regular ones
Where is that hilarious "buyback" thread

classic if it's not a habitual thing

― velko, Thursday, October 2, 2008 12:41 AM (4 years ago)

Oopsies

only if it's a habitual thing

Classic if you are travelling on your own.

every time i do this i regret it within ten minutes of taking my seat at the bar.

i guess i do it because a) i'm new in town and i want to meet people, and; b) drinking should help this?
it never seems to work, and i don't quite get it. it's a college town (ann arbor) and i'm attractive, i think? what gives?
only once have i really met people doing this, and that was while i was outside smoking.

ann arbor fap anyone?

i guess i could meet people through school, but i'm just too disorganized for that to work lately. i figure going to pubs/clubs alone should work faster.

was just at a pub this evening by my lonesome... only I wasn't really, with a smart phone it just doesn't feel like that. always got one hand trailing in the water these days.

hi

I find it psychologically delicate: having one pint by myself as part of a wider shopping trip or day out is fine and enjoyable, but a solo bar crawl would lead to feelings of alienation and remorse.

Like Ailsa upthread, I don't see much difference between this and stopping into a coffeeshop by yourself. I'll usually have a book or magazine with me to read, or else I'll just be killing a little time before meeting up with someone or whatever. In any case, I like the rhythms and routines of my favorite bars, they're comfortable places to just hide out for a little while.

What I do love is arriving a bit early for a dinner reservation with friends and enjoying a cocktail alone.

I prefer drinking alone at home, which is the saddest option. But the cheapest!

it's a college town (ann arbor) and i'm attractive, i think? what gives?
only once have i really met people doing this, and that was while i was outside smoking.

ann arbor fap anyone?

― boy_slayer, Sunday, November 25, 2012 2:28 AM (8 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

haha what bars do you go to?

Haha. Mainly the ones on South (The Blue Lep, Charley's, and Rick's), and also Necto's on Liberty. They're all fine I guess, except for Rick's. That one seems to have a real frat/jock vibe to it, which is fine, but not my thing obviously. I will say though, that when I lost my wallet at Rick's, the bartender still had it for me the next day and returned it to me without any fuss. I was extremely grateful for that, of course. I've only been to the bars on South and also Necto's, but I've heard that the bars on Main are better for meeting people?

You see, this is so dumb. By Thursday or Friday of each week, I always think to myself "Oh, what a rough week, let me just make it home from class and unwind with a couple of drinks and Saint Etienne or something." I do this, and it's nice for a little while. Then, I become kind of bored, and then, err, slightly incorrigible. Then, I begin to think to myself how easy it would be to get out and go somewhere. So, I get all dressed up, make sure I have plenty of cigarettes to share, hop on the Michigan bus, and then I'm at the bar - all by my lonesome.

I guess the real problem is that I usually arrive around eight, but that I always want to return home by eleven, which seems to be about when everything picks up. I usually just sit and drink rum & cokes and try to look busy on my phone. Once I even wrote in a journal for a little while and tried to go for that intense Elliott Smith type look. No one usually notices me though, I guess?

Once while out smoking on South, however, I did meet a nice group of three who took me in and bought me beer all night. We lost touch after that night, though. I also kissed with a guy at Necto's on gay night once. Other than those two nights, not much has happened on the half-dozen or so nights I've gone out. Should I pursue further misadventures, I will report back.

Going to a bar alone to try to meet guys/get guys to notice you is something that always makes me nervous/self conscious and it has never really worked for me except for a couple of times in San Francisco once and maybe some other times I can't remember and also at places like The Cock where it doesn't really count.

Going to a bar alone for happy hour that you really love where you know the locals and the bartender and you can just have a pint and shoot the shit is fucking rad.