The thread where those of us who don't go to bars that often ask dumb questions about bars and alcohol

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

What constitutes a "well drink"?

― n/a (Nick A.), Monday, 30 August 2004 18:28 (twenty-one years ago)

It's any mixed drink, right?

― jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 30 August 2004 18:30 (twenty-one years ago)

i think it's mixed drinks that aren't made with top shelf ingredients?

― kelsey (kelstarry), Monday, 30 August 2004 18:31 (twenty-one years ago)

No one seems to know!

― n/a (Nick A.), Monday, 30 August 2004 18:31 (twenty-one years ago)

It's a mixed drink made with the house (aka cheaper, non-name brand) liquors rather than top shelf (Tanqueray, Absolut, etc etc basically any named liquor).

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 30 August 2004 18:31 (twenty-one years ago)

(Although if that's true, I'm not sure why there are two names for it.)

― jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 30 August 2004 18:32 (twenty-one years ago)

it's a term for a happy hour drink that you are required, traditionally, to down in less than 30 secs. some bartenders will hand it to you with the standard, "well, drink, fucker."

― g--ff (gcannon), Monday, 30 August 2004 18:32 (twenty-one years ago)

i was right, then.

― kelsey (kelstarry), Monday, 30 August 2004 18:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh, oh, x-post, good job, Kelsey & Dan.

― jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 30 August 2004 18:32 (twenty-one years ago)

See, Dan's answer is what I was guessing. So that makes me feel not quite so dumb.

― n/a (Nick A.), Monday, 30 August 2004 18:33 (twenty-one years ago)

also some ppl think "rail drinks" have something to do with hard sex, but it really is about drinks on trains, just like the name. no joke there!

― g--ff (gcannon), Monday, 30 August 2004 18:34 (twenty-one years ago)

well - house brand
call - midpriced (stoli, jack daniels, jim beam, etc)
top shelf - $$$ (grey goose, sapphire, etc)

― lauren (laurenp), Monday, 30 August 2004 18:35 (twenty-one years ago)

I thought "rail drinks" had something to do with the bar rail.

― Huck, Monday, 30 August 2004 18:35 (twenty-one years ago)

I thought it had to do with the *chop chop* *sniff sniff* *fidget fidget*.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 30 August 2004 18:36 (twenty-one years ago)

absolut and stoli tend to be used as well in fancier bars. despite good ad campaigns or foreign pedigree, they're pretty low on the quality scale.

xpost - i thought rail drinks had to do with the speed rack, the little hang-down thing that the well liquors are kept in.

― lauren (laurenp), Monday, 30 August 2004 18:37 (twenty-one years ago)

The last time I ordered a top-shelf margarita the dildo made me POINT to the Souza. I didn't tip him.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 30 August 2004 18:37 (twenty-one years ago)

i am so bar illiterate. whenever a bartender asks me what brand of alchohol i want, i just shrug.

― amateur!!st, Monday, 30 August 2004 18:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Tell him Belvedere.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 30 August 2004 18:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Or maybe Chopin.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 30 August 2004 18:39 (twenty-one years ago)

belvedere and grey goose are the best top shelf vodkas, imo. ketel one is by far and away the best call vodka.

― lauren (laurenp), Monday, 30 August 2004 18:39 (twenty-one years ago)

"well" = "rail" =that rack where the cheap, house brand liquors are kept.

"well drink" = "rail drink" = mixed drink made with the above.

― Marcel Post (Marcel Post), Monday, 30 August 2004 18:40 (twenty-one years ago)

I have never been to a bar where the bartender has asked what brand of alcohol I want. True, I only ever order beer or gin & tonics. So here's another question: what should be my new drink? I'm classy and articulate, what should be my poison of choice?

― n/a (Nick A.), Monday, 30 August 2004 18:41 (twenty-one years ago)

Mohito

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 30 August 2004 18:41 (twenty-one years ago)

n.a.: go to a bar in wrigleyville and order a long island iced tea. then pump your fist and go "wooooooo." also, wear a miniskirt.

― amateur!!st, Monday, 30 August 2004 18:41 (twenty-one years ago)

O.K.

― n/a (Nick A.), Monday, 30 August 2004 18:42 (twenty-one years ago)

I've never heard of "call"! Although it's interesting how the three-tier system is similar to the one I have in my head for beer.

― jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 30 August 2004 18:42 (twenty-one years ago)

That didn't go too well.

― n/a (Nick A.), Monday, 30 August 2004 18:42 (twenty-one years ago)

You should be a Zima man.

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Monday, 30 August 2004 18:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Dan is right - mojitos are the BOMB.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 30 August 2004 18:43 (twenty-one years ago)

i know about call from doing bar work. it's a useful distinction, i suppose, in terms of pricing.

― lauren (laurenp), Monday, 30 August 2004 18:44 (twenty-one years ago)

mojitos.....hmmmm

― Ronan (Ronan), Monday, 30 August 2004 18:44 (twenty-one years ago)

What's a mojito?

― n/a (Nick A.), Monday, 30 August 2004 18:45 (twenty-one years ago)

i am never having one of those again. at least not in dublin.

xpost - rum muddled with sugar, fresh mint, and soda water. but the ones ronan and i had tasted like they also contained a splash of mountain dew.

― lauren (laurenp), Monday, 30 August 2004 18:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Maybe I should start drinking mint juleps.

― n/a (Nick A.), Monday, 30 August 2004 18:46 (twenty-one years ago)

mountain dew and washing up liquid. also drinking about 7 didn't help much.

― Ronan (Ronan), Monday, 30 August 2004 18:47 (twenty-one years ago)

juleps are wonderful. good luck finding a bar that makes them well, or even makes them.

xpost - yeah, there was something weird and frothy about them!

― lauren (laurenp), Monday, 30 August 2004 18:48 (twenty-one years ago)

See, I can't imagine going into one of the bars that I feel comfortable frequenting and ordering a mojito. Or anything that involves "muddling." Though I probably just have bar-anoia.

― n/a (Nick A.), Monday, 30 August 2004 18:49 (twenty-one years ago)

That sounds tasty though.

― n/a (Nick A.), Monday, 30 August 2004 18:49 (twenty-one years ago)

mmmmmm mint julep

http://home.att.net/~uncamarvy/Clovers/clovad3.jpg

― amateur!!st, Monday, 30 August 2004 18:50 (twenty-one years ago)

i stick to whiskey on the rocks.

― kelsey (kelstarry), Monday, 30 August 2004 18:50 (twenty-one years ago)

scotch & soda, na! kind of old-manny but classy i think

― g--ff (gcannon), Monday, 30 August 2004 18:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Sometimes a cosmopolitan, sometimes a Long Island iced tea, sometimes a vodka tonic, sometimes a bourbon and 7, sometimes a Bloody Mary...all depends, really.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 30 August 2004 18:52 (twenty-one years ago)

I am missing out on some of life.

― cºzen (Cozen), Monday, 30 August 2004 18:53 (twenty-one years ago)

You could also go for the good old martini.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 30 August 2004 18:54 (twenty-one years ago)

I still need to work on opening the bar that Sarah and I came up with called "Girlidrink" that would only serve fruity (as in, tasting like fruit) drinks, mostly frozen.

― n/a (Nick A.), Monday, 30 August 2004 18:54 (twenty-one years ago)

OR my new favorite: Absolut Peppar and tonic. Actually, any of the flavored Absoluts or Stolis or what have you and tonic.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 30 August 2004 18:54 (twenty-one years ago)

I still like my idea for selling a brightly colored line of schnapps. They will all come in semitranslucent plastic bottles with a squeeze grip and caps that you pull on to open so the liquor squirts out, doesn't pour, and they will all be sold as "Dishwashin' Likkid." So you can be holding a glass in your hand that is full of some bright primary color, people will ask "what the hell are you drinking?" and you can say "Dishwashin' Likkid!" and hold up a bottle of what looks, ostensibly, like dishwashing liquid, then offer to pour them a shot.

― TOMBOT, Monday, 30 August 2004 18:55 (twenty-one years ago)

I thought the Mark made you a pretty good julep, lauren.

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 30 August 2004 18:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Tom, that is awesome. I once drank almost a whole bottle of peppermint schnapps. I was the mintiest drunk. Ah, college.

― n/a (Nick A.), Monday, 30 August 2004 18:56 (twenty-one years ago)

You can make any vodka drink really, really great by asking for Absolut Peppar or Kurant.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 30 August 2004 18:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Skipping 121 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

the first week of october.

― lauren (laurenp), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 16:10 (twenty-one years ago)

One of the things about the Toby Cecchini book (the 'voice' is very Tracer Hand acksherly) is that he tears new assholes for people who add 'tini' onto the end of any sweet drink served in a cocktail/martini glass.

Dude I hate this too. Is it really, truly, that much more difficult to say "Chocolate vodka martini" or "Apple martini" as it is to say "Chocotini" or "Appletini"? Are cosmpolitans "cosmotinis"?

The best apple martini I ever had was a proper vodka martini made out of vodka infused with apples and rimmed with a tiny bit of cinnamon sugar. It was not neon green. There are times when I think it's kind of funny and amusing to be drinking things that are ludicrious colors but seriously, I'm not sure how anyone can drink more than one or two scarily-colored martinis, especially groups of girls clearly trying to look sexy. IT TURNS YOUR TONGUE AND MOUTH COLORS!

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 16:11 (twenty-one years ago)

The one thing about cocktails and their relatives that I can absolutely guarantee is that if I see a cocktail menu and think "ooh, that looks delicious" it will invariably be THE MOST FAGGY-ASSED UBER-GIRLY DRINK IN THE WORLD. Marco out of Big Brother and Tom of Finland would sneer in disgust at my ostentatious homosexuality.

Daiquiris - classic or queer?

― Markelby (Mark C), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 16:16 (twenty-one years ago)

I am planning on an NYC visit next year and would like to see what a night on the town experimenting with drinks recommended by NYC ILXors is like.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 16:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Daiquiris are classic under the correct circumstances.

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 16:19 (twenty-one years ago)

off topic (kinda), but i just got a bartending gig at a place called Pan E Vino in Providence, RI (http://www.panevino.net).
now its a chill place for the most part, SMALL ass bar, but suppoisvely its like real upper crust. Now i get to do the liqor orders and stock my bar the way I want to! which is nuts! The sad part is, THEY HAVE NO TAPS>. its all bottled beer ARGH!. now the manager said i could move over to another place they are opening up soon which is going to be a bigger bar and a bigger space in general. Do I stick with the cash and the small Italian joint enviornment, or do i move into a bigge, and certainly more lively place and take a cut in tips?????????

― brock (brock), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 16:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Also I will say that it is sometimes cool to see guys willing to order really "gay" drinks, I mean why shouldn't they be able to try them too? Too many guys limit themselves by refusing to drink something "gay" but really sometimes drinking something ostentatious and ridiculous really is better than drinking a bunch of beer.

xpost I'm really not sure the importance of taps; the amount of times I or a companion have gotten a really nasty beer (flat or off tasting) due to a bad line isn't even funny, and makes me against ever ordering draught beer, personally.

At my uncle's wake, Tom ordered...something, I forget, but the woman handed him a Bud. It was clearly a Bud. So she was like, "Oh I'm sorry, I must've spaced out" and got him a new one. It was a Bud, again. This was repeated a few times until Tom was convinced that whatever beer he wanted, it sure as hell wasn't coming out of that tap and he should order something, anything, else.

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 16:24 (twenty-one years ago)

about the bad line thing, you KNOW when you walk into a dive that you might end up with a shitty draught beer, because they might not have the inkling to clean their lines, but come on, if you're in a brewery, you've gotta drink the brews! i just left a job in virginia at a brewery, and we would have people show up and order Coor's Light IN A BREWERY. come on. draft is just so much bettter....
and magic hat 9 is my new favorite beer of the north.

― brock (brock), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 16:27 (twenty-one years ago)

I really can't drink rum. Not even the good stuff.

Ally, you were the other person I thought of as possibly loving the Cosmopolitan book, purely because of an anecdote he told about ghetto tech.

Mark, do you really think anyone's going to notice your big gay drink in big gay Soho? Maybe amongst the bears in Comptons if you're lucky. Honestly, I feel as though I have been catapulted to junior high and have rediscovered the kid who goes all paranoid because he thinks everyone has notoiced him flapping his hands in that way that signifies 'fag' to other teenagers...and nobody's seen a thing.

― suzy (suzy), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 16:28 (twenty-one years ago)

We've HAD that happen in breweries. And places that are pretty reputable establishments. I mean, yeah, if I find myself at a brewery, I order the beer. But other circumstances, no, I won't take beer off a tap. Way too many mishaps. YMMV.

xpost I've seen that book actually, and was thinking of picking it up one time but I remember it being expensive, or something of the sort that made me put it back down again. I'll look into it.

suzy is also kind of OTM about nobody seeing such a thing...I always say this, it's in connection to the people who go to clubs or parties with dancing and then don't dance. Seriously, no one really notices that much if you order the "wrong" thing or dance stupid. People are too busy thinking about whether or not they're personally doing something wrong to worry about whether or not you're mincing around with a midori sour, doing the butt dance.

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 16:32 (twenty-one years ago)

or a ward 8 doin the truffle shuffle

― brock (brock), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 16:41 (twenty-one years ago)

midori sours are good but the people who order them are never satisfied because they seem to really just want the midori and get mad about there being too much sours mix and soda.

i dont think two cubes of ice destroy a scotch. i am talking about the small cubes you get at a bar, not the larger ones that come out of your refrigerator. also, even though every scotch is different, etc. etc., there is a certain smoothness to some of the older ones i have tried, and i just assumed that age had something to do with it because the brands, the type of wood they were aged in, etc., were all different.

― Aaron Grossman (aajjgg), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 16:50 (twenty-one years ago)

btw Ally's last paragrah totally OTM.

as for draft beer, its partially an issue of turnover. better to go with the popular choices (for that bar - some bars sell more bass than bud).

we only have bottles at my bar and it makes life marvelous.

― Aaron Grossman (aajjgg), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 16:53 (twenty-one years ago)

I go through phases where every drink I order must be a certain color. I've gon through blue, green, purple, red and yellow.

My question is this: is there a grey liqueur?

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 17:08 (twenty-one years ago)

if you mixed yukon jack and sambuca i think that would be grey

― brock (brock), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 17:36 (twenty-one years ago)

and also the recipe for projectile vomiting

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 17:42 (twenty-one years ago)

has anyone ever figured out a decent cocktail with grape soda in it?
BTW Dan the Absolut Peppar + Tonic is good!!! Earth needs more hot pepper flavored booze.

― TOMBOT, Tuesday, 31 August 2004 17:46 (twenty-one years ago)

So speaketh Kimchee Rocket Boy!

― suzy (suzy), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 17:48 (twenty-one years ago)

I used to do a drink I called The Jolly Rancher that was vodka + triple sec + *insert fruit-flavored soda here* that tasted just like the Jolly Rancher flavor of whatever soda you used.

So, yes.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 17:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Absolut Pepar isn't even spicy.

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 18:03 (twenty-one years ago)

vodka, seltzer, chambord, and a splash of grape soda.

― lauren (laurenp), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 18:04 (twenty-one years ago)

When I am drinking beer from the tap, what is really proper etiquette wrt my glass? Do I hand it to the libations engineer for direct beer insertion, or should I let him/her/it get me a fresh glass and leave the other one to go to dish?

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 18:08 (twenty-one years ago)

handy bar sign language

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 18:12 (twenty-one years ago)

Thanks for buying me a drink.
I will now retract my claws of death.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 18:15 (twenty-one years ago)

grey goose l'orange with cranberry turned me into an alcoholic. now i'll settle for something vaguley citrus and something vaguley red. usually well.

― firstworldman (firstworldman), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 18:16 (twenty-one years ago)

OMG MOOKIE I KISS YUO

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 18:19 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.moderndrunkardmagazine.com/images/sings-10.jpg

Let us spring up out of our sober shells.
We will soar like drunken eagles.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 18:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Anyone else find Absolut's trademark-asserting spellings to be k-lame? I hope you al pronounce "Peppar" like George Peppard minus the D.

Suzy, like it makes a difference to me. Can't a guy exaggerate for the sake of teh funny?

― Markelby (Mark C), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 19:14 (twenty-one years ago)

I hope you al pronounce "Peppar" like George Peppard minus the D.

HOW ELSE WOULD YOU PRONOUNCE IT?????

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 19:15 (twenty-one years ago)

"Triple Sec" is a really unpleasant term.

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 19:22 (twenty-one years ago)

It sounds like a gymnastics move.

"She's doing a backflip into a triple sec/hip-back combo... AND SHE STICKS THE DISMOUNT!"

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 19:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Lubricious.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 19:26 (twenty-one years ago)

(haha and "hip-back" sounds like a raunchier version of "whip-back", which is what I meant to type)

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 19:27 (twenty-one years ago)

I love using "stick" as a verb. Especially in non-gymnastics settings.

"Woah, dude, did you see that guy totally stick that DRUNKEN FACEPLANT? AWESOME!"

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 19:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Mark, if you have to explain you were trying to be funny...

― suzy (suzy), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 19:36 (twenty-one years ago)

It's like if you want to ask someone to wait but it might be longer than a second: "Hang on a triple sec".

― o. nate (onate), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 19:39 (twenty-one years ago)

the best martini i ever had was made for me by ilx semi-regular antexit, who is a fantastic bartender!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 19:49 (twenty-one years ago)

also another thing, for some reason i'm really enjoying vodka-tonics these days, especially on my dj nights. i dunno why.

― s1ocki (slutsky), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 19:50 (twenty-one years ago)

huh? you lot are still drinking!

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 19:51 (twenty-one years ago)

"I'm gonna stick it! deep insiiiiiide!"

Iggy Pop / Juliana Hatfield

― nickn (nickn), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 20:52 (twenty-one years ago)

tonic water is one of the grossest things. it immediately triggers my gag reflex.

― lauren (laurenp), Tuesday, 31 August 2004 20:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Look, if you want to drink undiluted cask strength malt, that's your lookout. I prefer not to consign my tongue to a fiery death.

My tongue loves the fiery death feeling of a good neat single malt! The drink I can't actually swallow any more is rum & coke- I ruined those for myself with one night in college.

― lyra (lyra), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 03:26 (twenty-one years ago)

I love tonic water! If I'm on a non-drinking binge, I sometimes order it and pretend that I'm drinking. There's nothing better than the taste of quinine. I think I can blame my mother's childhood in Africa fear that we would get malaria.

― Super-Masonic Black Hole (kate), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 07:17 (twenty-one years ago)

OK, this one is a REALLY dumb question. I hardly ever drink wine, but for my birthday, some friends brought me a bottle, which sat in the cupboard for a while, until I decided I wanted to try it. So about a month ago, I pulled it out, and it's some Australian wine, and the cork wasn't made of cork but some kind of dense, hard foam stuff. But I used a corkscrew none the less. However, I couldn't get that "cork" out of there. I pulled and pulled but to no avail. So I ended up putting it back in the cupboard with the cork still in there. Last week, I decided to give it another go. Again, it wouldn't come out. Finally, by wiggling it back and forth and pulling VERY hard, I got it to come out. Is there a trick to these fake corks, or was this one just being stubborn?

― n/a (Nick A.), Friday, 3 September 2004 13:32 (twenty-one years ago)

It was being stubborn.

― Dan Perry '08 (Dan Perry), Friday, 3 September 2004 13:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh, ok, that's reassuring.

― n/a (Nick A.), Friday, 3 September 2004 13:41 (twenty-one years ago)

if it doesn't come out, just push it in!

(ripe for the ilx out of context thread i know)

― s1ocki (slutsky), Friday, 3 September 2004 14:09 (twenty-one years ago)

That thing wouldn't budge, it was jammed in there nice and tight. It was just as hard to push it in as it was to pull it out. I think it just needed some lubrication or something you know?

(continuing the out of context theme)

― n/a (Nick A.), Friday, 3 September 2004 14:14 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah, sometimes you just have to have erotic sex with the wine bottle!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Friday, 3 September 2004 14:16 (twenty-one years ago)

I fucked the shit out of it.

― n/a (Nick A.), Friday, 3 September 2004 14:33 (twenty-one years ago)

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.