teenybride!

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Hi guys! I'm married now!

― teeny (teeny), Thursday, 9 September 2004 15:16 (twenty-one years ago)

ok normally a thread about my wedding would be a little too self-referential for me to do (not that it's bad, I'm just a little shy), but I think I have some funny stories so this is the thread for them.

― teeny (teeny), Thursday, 9 September 2004 15:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Congratulations! Pictures! Stories!!!

May you have many, many wonderful years together, sug. xxx

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 9 September 2004 15:20 (twenty-one years ago)

nice work! congratulations!

― g--ff (gcannon), Thursday, 9 September 2004 15:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Hurrah! :-) So yes, tell all -- last-minute eloping? Cross-country dashes? Outraged relatives?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 9 September 2004 15:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Wheee!

― n/a (Nick A.), Thursday, 9 September 2004 15:21 (twenty-one years ago)

huzzah! did it take place at the gamecon?

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Thursday, 9 September 2004 15:21 (twenty-one years ago)

the point of getting married was to have some fun, so the wedding part was kinda spontaneous--we called up an old friend who is now a minister and said lucky you! you get to marry us tomorrow! and so we went to Elwood, Illinois and got married in his backyard...no witnessess other than his wife, who took the pictures. Our families were cool with the eloping, or if they weren't, they spared us from the outrage. So the wedding bit was a cool little low-key affair.

― teeny (teeny), Thursday, 9 September 2004 15:22 (twenty-one years ago)

congratulations, Teeny!!!!

― manthony m1cc1o (Anthony Miccio), Thursday, 9 September 2004 15:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Fuckin' ROCK. Now that's a wedding. Hurrah for you both! Did you all go and get smashed afterwards?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 9 September 2004 15:22 (twenty-one years ago)

That seems like the best way to do it.

― n/a (Nick A.), Thursday, 9 September 2004 15:23 (twenty-one years ago)

I like being a wedding guest but yeah, I've concluded should it ever happen for me, simple and sudden seems best.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 9 September 2004 15:23 (twenty-one years ago)

congratulatationses!!!

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Thursday, 9 September 2004 15:24 (twenty-one years ago)

yay!!!

― J.D. (Justyn Dillingham), Thursday, 9 September 2004 15:24 (twenty-one years ago)

where the funny comes in is the honeymoon. Totally on a whim the day before the wedding license trip, we booked six nights at Hedonism III, just because we thought we would get some funny stories out of the experience.

― teeny (teeny), Thursday, 9 September 2004 15:25 (twenty-one years ago)

did it take place at the gamecon?

"Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

(natural 20) "I do!"

Also holy shit dude, you're married!

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Thursday, 9 September 2004 15:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Congrats!
I had always assumed you were already married, since you made frequent references to "Mr. Teeny".

― Huk-L, Thursday, 9 September 2004 15:25 (twenty-one years ago)

congrats!!!

although i think teenyloped would have been a good title for this thread

― amateur!!st, Thursday, 9 September 2004 15:25 (twenty-one years ago)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA You went to HEDONISM for your honeymoon?????

You are officially the greatest person on Earth.

― Dan Perry '08 (Dan Perry), Thursday, 9 September 2004 15:27 (twenty-one years ago)

So it's like some sort of overdesigned resort?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 9 September 2004 15:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Congratulations, teeny!

― youn, Thursday, 9 September 2004 15:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Ah wait, I have clarity:

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree - good news for hedonists around the world. As the newest Hedonism resort, Hedonism III takes the pleasure principle to new extremes. Quaint, Victorian architecture and soft pastels conceal a sinister soul, like a black teddy under a housecoat

A few days here are more than enough to make up for a lifetime of ordinary vacations. Of course, when things like a water slide through the disco and a pool table actually in the pool start to seem "normal", well it may just be time to go home.

A sparkling swimming pool framed by "swim-up" rooms is the center of the action, but there's excitement all around. On one side, there's the main beach, with soft sand, high-flying trapeze and comprehensive watersports complex. And on the other, a secluded cove with it's own pool, bar and spa for those who choose to go au naturel. Naturally, everything's included...so do whatever you want, whenever you want. We suggest you try everything once, and the really bad things as frequently as you can.

But there's more to Hedonism III than a wet and wild, non-stop party. Like award winning cuisine at a variety of unique restaurants. Free flowing liquor at bars that never close. An endless array of land and watersports. Live entertainment. And plenty of shaded hammocks where you can recover from too much of the above.

This wicked sister of legendary Hedonism II is a spectacular launching pad for a new millenium of decadence, and it's alive and thriving on Jamaica's sultry North Coast. Hedonism III. Is the world ready?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 9 September 2004 15:29 (twenty-one years ago)

'An endless array of land and watersports.'

A classic single entendre.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 9 September 2004 15:30 (twenty-one years ago)

normaly Hedo is not the type of place we would ever pick for a vacation destination, for two groups of reasons:

a) all-inclusive resort where you don't see the island, ick.
b) swingers

for a honeymoon though, it was stupid fun. The resort has a nude side and a 'prude' side, trapeze and trampoline lessons, a big water slide that goes through the disco, wet t-shirt contests, etc, etc. If this sounds horrible, it kinda is, but in a hilarious way.

haha yeah x-post thanks ned, I was looking for something like that.

― teeny (teeny), Thursday, 9 September 2004 15:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Wow, congratulations, Teeny!!

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Thursday, 9 September 2004 15:31 (twenty-one years ago)

a prude slide!!!!!

― Dan Perry '08 (Dan Perry), Thursday, 9 September 2004 15:31 (twenty-one years ago)

You are truly bold, Teeny. Or at least are comfortable with making fun of EVERYTHING around you, which I admire.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 9 September 2004 15:31 (twenty-one years ago)

The front page has a guy playing pool while standing in a pool.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Thursday, 9 September 2004 15:32 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't even know where to start with all the freaky stories.

― teeny (teeny), Thursday, 9 September 2004 15:34 (twenty-one years ago)

At the beginning!

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 9 September 2004 15:35 (twenty-one years ago)

The front page has a guy playing pool while standing in a pool.
-- Andrew Farrell (afarrel...), September 9th, 2004.

i'd hate to see where they put the craps table

― amateur!!st, Thursday, 9 September 2004 15:35 (twenty-one years ago)

At the beginning!

*sings* "Let's START at the VERY be-GIN-NING..."

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 9 September 2004 15:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Dude, I just laughed at amateurist's joke.

― TOMBOT, Thursday, 9 September 2004 15:37 (twenty-one years ago)

well the first couple we met (on the bus ride there)--they were going back for their third trip THIS YEAR. And the woman had an enormous sore on her upper lip. We suspiciously kept running into them and they suspiciously always knew where we had been the day before.

― teeny (teeny), Thursday, 9 September 2004 15:38 (twenty-one years ago)

they were henceforth known as mr and mrs herpes.

― teeny (teeny), Thursday, 9 September 2004 15:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Congrats, teeny!

― Michael White (Hereward), Thursday, 9 September 2004 15:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Michael White has the best comedic timing on all of ILE.

― Dan Perry '08 (Dan Perry), Thursday, 9 September 2004 15:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Beginning #1 "We were really wasted, and.."
Beginning #2 "They were really wasted, and.."

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Thursday, 9 September 2004 15:40 (twenty-one years ago)

the pool behind our hotel room was called the 'quad pool' (because there were four buildings around it). At this pool, you could be naked or not as you chose. (All other areas were strictly naked or strictly not.) We hung out there a lot because we liked the bartenders at the pool bar. Again, this place is all-you-can-drink. My last day there, I saw a naked woman get so drunk that she was dancing on top of a huge jet of water and then pass out IN THE POOL. Bummer, dude.

― teeny (teeny), Thursday, 9 September 2004 15:49 (twenty-one years ago)

ok more stories later, I have to be somewhere. stay tuned for the ballad of the creepy dude and the tale of the albanian brothers.

― teeny (teeny), Thursday, 9 September 2004 15:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Did they start a food fight?

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Thursday, 9 September 2004 15:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Teeny, I am sincerely happy for you. Rock on. I hope you slowdanced to "Always and Forever" in your friend's backyard.

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Thursday, 9 September 2004 15:57 (twenty-one years ago)

what no luther vandross "here and now"?

― amateur!!st, Thursday, 9 September 2004 15:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Can we call you Mrs Teeny now?

― DV (dirtyvicar), Thursday, 9 September 2004 16:09 (twenty-one years ago)

oh, and congrats, obv.

― DV (dirtyvicar), Thursday, 9 September 2004 16:10 (twenty-one years ago)

congrats.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Thursday, 9 September 2004 16:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Congratulations mr and mrs teeny!

OMG Pastafari? NUD-I-Burger??

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Thursday, 9 September 2004 16:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Hooray for eloping!

― Jordan (Jordan), Thursday, 9 September 2004 16:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Rock on, teeny!!

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Thursday, 9 September 2004 16:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Huge congratulations to Mrs Teeny! (And you'll note that I am just about resisting asking for holiday photos from the nudist resort)(well, sort of resisting, anyway...)

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Thursday, 9 September 2004 16:29 (twenty-one years ago)

Skipping 27 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

I totally forgot asshole lawyer's name because he was SUCH AN ASSHOLE, I wanted to forget he existed. No joke, he works for the GOP. He's one of those guys who has like a little standup routine and such utter disregard for those around him that he'll repeat the routine.

― teeny (teeny), Friday, 10 September 2004 01:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Oooh! Third wheel.

― chrisco (chrisco), Friday, 10 September 2004 01:52 (twenty-one years ago)

uh, xpost

― chrisco (chrisco), Friday, 10 September 2004 01:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Will also has some pretty good-looking equipment

teeny I kiss you

― Dan Perry '08 (Dan Perry), Friday, 10 September 2004 01:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Anyway, here are two stories. This one is from asshole lawyer, who despite being such a stud was having a hard time hooking up:

"So, this really hot chick was totally talking to me, and I think we had something happenin' between us, but then her boyfriend walked up--he's like this huge Navy SEAL guy, and y'know, I'm no dummy, I'm not getting mixed up in that shit."

― teeny (teeny), Friday, 10 September 2004 01:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Here's the story from Joe, some drunk dude we did shots with.

"Yeah, this hot chick was talking to me and some other asshole who left anyway when her boyfriend showed up, and they came to Hedo because he wanted to see her get fucked by another dude, so I took care of her. It was awesome."

― teeny (teeny), Friday, 10 September 2004 01:59 (twenty-one years ago)

oh my

― You've Got to Pick Up Every Stitch (tracerhand), Friday, 10 September 2004 02:05 (twenty-one years ago)

The Albanian Brothers were noteworthy for providing one of the great catchphrases of the trip: "Ahre you a cheecken or ahre you a roostahr?" I'm not really sure what this means. They were both married but left their wives and wedding rings at home, because they are roostahrs. We sat at the quad bar with them and they would point out anyone who was showering in front of the window. (You were pretty much forced to shower in front of the window, btw.) Thanks, Albanian Brothers!

― teeny (teeny), Friday, 10 September 2004 02:06 (twenty-one years ago)

teeny how do they control for drugs at these things, or do they bother?

― You've Got to Pick Up Every Stitch (tracerhand), Friday, 10 September 2004 02:08 (twenty-one years ago)

it's in Jamaica.

― hstencil (hstencil), Friday, 10 September 2004 02:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh yeah, their accent was incomprehensible to the jamaican bartender and vice-versa, although we could understand both sides. The Albanian Brothers demand shots:
"Sex on Beach!"
"No!"
"Sex on Beach!"
"Only for ladies!"
"We need shots!"
"Come again mon."
"Blow job!"
"Only for ladies!"

― teeny (teeny), Friday, 10 September 2004 02:10 (twenty-one years ago)

pot is actually illegal in Jamaica although I don't know what the punishment is. The one day we went swimming at the nude beach, a Jamaican guy poked his head over the fence and asked if we wanted to buy anything. Obviously we were all like oh sure let me get my wallet OH WAIT.

― teeny (teeny), Friday, 10 September 2004 02:12 (twenty-one years ago)

"Is it okay if the money has been in my ass?"

― You've Got to Pick Up Every Stitch (tracerhand), Friday, 10 September 2004 02:22 (twenty-one years ago)

tracer you've come back all evil and scatological!

― amateur!!!st (amateurist), Friday, 10 September 2004 02:24 (twenty-one years ago)

there were security guys everywhere, they were very low-key and cool until you tried to piss in the palm trees or whatever. Blow jobs in the hot tub though, a-ok.

― teeny (teeny), Friday, 10 September 2004 02:25 (twenty-one years ago)

this would make a great graphic novel

― amateur!!!st (amateurist), Friday, 10 September 2004 02:28 (twenty-one years ago)

I think it already is.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 10 September 2004 02:35 (twenty-one years ago)

j0nathan and b3cky were a fun couple, we met jon five minutes after he had arrived and he was already completely wasted. We hung out with them a lot and probably saw him sober about five minutes total. Jon hit on me the whole time.

Creepy dude had his game down to an art; we had a great ten-minute conversation about Gephardt before he busted out with, "So, have you ever had sex in public?" At which point a drunk mr teeny grabbed me by the arm and walked us the fuck out of there. I thought it was funny.

Creepy dude proceeded to work the same magic on B3cky and J0n had much the same reaction. However, he was SO drunk that five minutes later he was telling the story about the creepy dude TO the creepy dude. This was all witnessed by a security guy who laughed his ass off.

― teeny (teeny), Friday, 10 September 2004 02:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Initially I feared about this trip to Hedonism of yours, but now I am convinced that if you do not write the roman a clef novel about the experience I will go ahead and rip off all your stories.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 10 September 2004 02:38 (twenty-one years ago)

I was expecting that sentence to end differently.

― You've Got to Pick Up Every Stitch (tracerhand), Friday, 10 September 2004 02:39 (twenty-one years ago)

haha ned was the creepy guy

― cinniblount (James Blount), Friday, 10 September 2004 02:41 (twenty-one years ago)

'Was,' what do you mean 'WAS'?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 10 September 2004 02:44 (twenty-one years ago)

*bows*

― You've Got to Pick Up Every Stitch (tracerhand), Friday, 10 September 2004 02:46 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm glad we've gotten that all cleared up.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 10 September 2004 02:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Ever had sex in public?

― Andrew (enneff), Friday, 10 September 2004 02:55 (twenty-one years ago)

How rhetorical is your question?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 10 September 2004 02:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Wow, yay teeny, you're married! congrats sweetie!! *hugs*

― PinXor (Pinkpanther), Friday, 10 September 2004 06:59 (twenty-one years ago)

wait, so you have MORE pictures?!

― Lt. Kingfish Del Pickles (Kingfish), Friday, 10 September 2004 07:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Congratulations! More stories, it sounds like you had an awsome honeymoon!

― Vicky (Vicky), Friday, 10 September 2004 07:11 (twenty-one years ago)

"hedo"

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Friday, 10 September 2004 11:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Teeny, please complete this sentence:

"The ladies were _____"

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Friday, 10 September 2004 13:19 (twenty-one years ago)

um "drunk-ass wasted"? That's the only common thread between them I think.

― teeny (teeny), Friday, 10 September 2004 14:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh, I forgot about our 'swinger bingo' game we made up. So remember, our hotel building faces an identical building, and you can see directly into the showers in all the rooms opposite. So we were trying to spot three people in a row taking a shower in their respective rooms.

Mr teeny won, coincidentally while he was taking a shower, by yelling, "Bingo! Black guy, hot chick, fat man!"

― teeny (teeny), Friday, 10 September 2004 14:08 (twenty-one years ago)

ha ha oh my god I have to go to this place

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 10 September 2004 14:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Do you have a story about "Moonbeam and Joe"? Moonbeam sounds like a hippy girl, and they seem to always get into funny situations.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 10 September 2004 14:09 (twenty-one years ago)

"Bingo! Black guy, hot chick, fat man!"
hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

― PinXor (Pinkpanther), Friday, 10 September 2004 14:17 (twenty-one years ago)

why was the asshole lawyer "frozen"?

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Friday, 10 September 2004 14:22 (twenty-one years ago)

it's a takeoff on the SNL sketch "Frozen Caveman Lawyer." Moonbeam was actually a guy, and that wasn't his name, he just introduced himself to our bartender Sunshine that way to be funny. But I was drunk and forgot his name, so now it's Moonbeam.

― teeny (teeny), Friday, 10 September 2004 14:28 (twenty-one years ago)

He says hi, by the way, and congratulations, again.

― nabisco, from sunny, panicking Jamaica (nabisco), Friday, 10 September 2004 14:47 (twenty-one years ago)

dude you are not in jamaica.

― teeny (teeny), Friday, 10 September 2004 16:18 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.restless-youth.com/media/10404.jpg

UNfrozen Caveman Lawyer, you mean

― Lt. Kingfish Del Pickles (Kingfish), Friday, 10 September 2004 16:26 (twenty-one years ago)

c0ngrats!!!!! Mr Teeny must be elated! i'm jealous re: hedonism! even though ...yeah. wow. more pictures, i hope?!

― Vic (Vic), Friday, 10 September 2004 16:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Did I say congratulations yet? Congratulations! More stories, and can we have an ILX field trip to Hedonism next year please?

― ailsa (ailsa), Friday, 10 September 2004 16:42 (twenty-one years ago)

No, Teeny, I am actually not in Jamaica, at Hedonism, talking to Moonbeam. I offer my profound apologies for misleading you and the people of ILX.

Congratulations, though!

― nabisco (nabisco), Friday, 10 September 2004 16:50 (twenty-one years ago)

thanks everyone!

― teeny (teeny), Friday, 10 September 2004 18:12 (twenty-one years ago)

{scene: nude beach, in ocean near breakers}

ANESTHESIOLOGIST (swimming toward us): Hi guys, enjoying yourselves?
MR TEENY: Sure!
ANESTHESIOLOGIST: Where you guys from?
TEENY: St. Louis, how about you?
ANESTHESIOLOGIST: California.
MR TEENY: Cool. We're here on our honeymoon, nice place so far.
ANESTHESIOLOGIST: Honeymoon. Huh. Well, see you around! (swims away)

― teeny (teeny), Friday, 10 September 2004 18:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Can you start posting as "Mrs. Mr. Teeny" now?

― nabisco (nabisco), Friday, 10 September 2004 18:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Or Mrs. Teeny MrTeeny?

― nabisco (nabisco), Friday, 10 September 2004 18:19 (twenty-one years ago)

congrats & thanks for all the stories!

― kelsey (kelstarry), Friday, 10 September 2004 18:22 (twenty-one years ago)

well done Teeny! All the best for the future.

― MarkH (MarkH), Saturday, 11 September 2004 11:39 (twenty-one years ago)

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