When is it okay to remind friends who owe you money to pay you back?

I dunno. Reminding them they owe you it is handy, though.

Just remind them politely.

or to go to their house and say "what's this worth?"
then if you find sth for that amount, put it in your pocket.

Her argument was: a) they most likely won't ever pay you back, b) you'll get sick and embarrassed of having to remind them repeatedly, and c) it'll always be the first issue that jumps into your mind whenever you see them or talk with them. Ergo, the act of lending to a friend is more often than not destined to damage if not completely ruin the friendship (though I guess one should also say, if the friend doesn't pay you back, what kind of a friendship was it to begin with...).

By the context, I wasn't sure if she was only talking about large sums of money or more money than you yourself are willing to be able to part with if need be, or if she meant literally never any lending with friends whatsoever.

or to go to their house and say "what's this worth?"
then if you find sth for that amount, put it in your pocket.

um... no, don't do that. That's if you're a heavy for a loan shark, not if you're a friend.

When you bloody well feel like it. What's all this being uncomfortable and socially unsure of yourself around your "friends"?

People are forgetful and lazy, but you'd have to be actively bad not to at least want to pay back your debts (assuming you *can*, of course). The vast majority of people aren't like this. So why do we make it such an issue? Mainly because of the possibility of embarrassment, humiliation and a questioning of friendship between the two parties, even if these are all on the smallest level and, most likely, imaginary.

Jesus shit. This woman needs some new friends pronto. Look.. I'm not saying you shouldn't count anyone as a friend that you wouldn't trust with your money. That would be silly. Just DON'T LEND ANYONE YOUR MONEY THAT YOU WOULDN'T TRUST WITH YOUR MONEY. If you have done this and find yourself uncomfortable asking for it back, it's really mostly your mistake.

Occasionally I borrow money, usually because it is easier than splitting a bill. And I am always super grateful to be reminded of how much and who to. It is easy to lose track and wander round looking like a bludger when you didn't mean to be.

with others, anytime.

WORST STRIKE SQUAD EVER!! "Ooh, watch out, if you mess with me I'm gonna get some ppl to LECTURE YOU FOR YOUR FOLLIES!", wtf? Poor Luna.

So..remind them. Its so much better than getting angry about it. Mostly, they'll just be embarassed that they forgot.

Help, I'm really embarrassed asking for money from my friends but a good mate of mine has owed me £200 for over 2 months, I've brought the subject up several times (the first time she said 'yeah I've been feeling guilty about that') but as I don't live near her and she doesn't have internet banking I don't know how to keep asking. It's happened a few times before but I thought with a large amount of money it wouldn't get forgotten. I'm not doing it again though.

With small amounts of money, me and my coworker would always say to each other, "Any chance I could borrow $5? Oh wait, you owe me that much." I don't know how well it would work in other situations, as it was known to be a genuine request but also what we understood was a silly joke.

I'm the rare person that feels bad if I owe someone $3 though. I give it back a week later or less and generally get baffled reactions like, "Why are you paying me back?" wtf?

xp Well if it's a "good mate" then you should be able to openly discuss it. On the telephone. Or something.

I remember when i was in year 12, I owed this fucking guy 10 cents (i can't remember why) and he made a note of it in his diary. :/

I often forget that I've lent people money! After multiple instances of offering me a stack of bills, only to have me look befuddled and say "What's that for?", my girlfriend swears that she's just going to take me for a ride one of these days.

Yeah, you are the kind of person I end up borrwing money from.

I don't much mind if I loan a person a couple bucks and they don't pay back, but if I loan someone a PEN and they don't return it, I get upset. I am very prompt and up front in asking people to return my pens. I really like my pens.

Funny this thread should be revived now. Just today I was put in the position of having to ask a friend to pay me back ~$12 after letting about a week go by and him not make any moves towards reimbursing me. Actually it was a series of progressively heavier hints, starting with "Man, we had fun last week. I was kind of drunk on (x); what were you eating and drinking again?" and ending with "uh... I was drinking so I don't really recall... how did we split up the check last week?".
This was after an occasion for him to pay for some food of mine in kind (in case he would have preferred that) had come and gone.
I have some friends who are like brothers to me, and I would gladly pay for anything of theirs without expecting to be paid back, but this person is not in that class, he's a classmate.

(he wasn't drinking alcohol last week by the way; he actually hadn't forgotten the debt, but I suspect he thought that I had)

http://content.ytmnd.com/content/f/a/d/fadd6ae9175007a98281ffe506cd7874.jpg

I lent an ex of mine a significant sum, as did my best friend, so he could fly over here to see me when we were together (9/11 had fucked up the plane flights he'd planned, money ran out etc)

He broke off our engagement about 3 months after he returned to Canada, and I only ever saw about $200 of the 4-figure amount he'd been loaned. We dont even speak anymore (not that I am bothered by that, but still).

Its weird, I dont feel bitter about it, I just find it sad that a person you once regarded a friend could behave so disappointingly.

HAHAHahahaha that's one of my favorite KITH skits. I love the Brucio so much.

Maybe I oughtta get me one of those pen-on-a-tether hats.

xpost obv, that's sad Trayce :(

oh fuck, now i have the fear i owe someone £££ and have forgotten. guys, if i owe any of you anything, pls to remind me.

lending ppl money is ace. mostly because i sort of forget about it after a little while and they tend to remember to repay me exactly when i need it most, when i've completely run out of cash or when i've just found something i really really want that costs slightly more than i feel i should pay for it.

I hate being fussy about splitting bills and lending money. So if it's a small amount, I don't tend to ask it back. i do realize, when it's being done, that it all adds up, but I hate bringing it up anyway cause.. well they are friends and I would hate it if they thought of me as a stickler (if that'st the right word for it) and anyway it's a small amount anyway.... :-(

I very nearly fell out seriously with a friend who owed me a few hundred euro but was taking months longer than expected to pay me back while living the high life etc. Sitting down and explaining why I was so upset helped. We're cool again anyway.

Emsk! I have just remembered I owe you £5 for the poster at Howling Bells!

The appropriate answer for small amounts is, the next time you see them with money. As they are about to go to the bar at the pub is usually a good time. However, all your money will go on the next round. Which is usually what I want it for, anyway, so that's OK.

Large amounts? I do not lend any amount of money that it would not hurt me if I didn't get it back.

Ed, I owe you money for the pedal, let me know if you are going to Sande's show and I will pay you then.

haha brilliant! i had totally forgotten about that... the timing isn't usual though, i have just been paid. though i have just bought an expensive book...

Tell us which book! :-)

Kate's right. But I still can't bring myself to do it. :-( I'm silly, no?

We have already established that I have no shame or social skills.

this is the book - http://ec1.images-amazon.com/images/I/517UY%2Ba8j6L._SS400_.jpg

anyway the answer is whenever - flip the situation and do you mind being reminded when you owe someone money?

flip the situation and do you mind being reminded when you owe someone money?

When I have some money in my hand, usually as I'm in a pub, as I know that I am likely to be bought a drink out of the money I pay back! ;-)

Cheeky, yes.

I mean, "pay me back the £20 you owe me, and I'll buy you a drink" is not a bad deal as far as loans go. It softens the awkwardness of having to give back money with the niceness of lovely lovely booze.