New Orleans to be possibly sunken by Ivan

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http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/ap/20040914/ap_on_re_us/vulnerable_new_orleans

NEW ORLEANS - The worst-case scenario for New Orleans — a direct strike by a full-strength Hurricane Ivan — could submerge much of this historic city treetop-deep in a stew of sewage, industrial chemicals and fire ants, and the inundation could last for weeks, experts say.

...which really sucks, but the fire ants make me sort of want it to happen.

― chrisco (chrisco), Tuesday, 14 September 2004 21:45 (twenty-one years ago)

fucking hell.

― adam. (nordicskilla), Tuesday, 14 September 2004 21:47 (twenty-one years ago)

sewage, industrial chemicals and fire ants

with rum!

― teeny (teeny), Tuesday, 14 September 2004 21:48 (twenty-one years ago)

The surveys predict that about 300,000 of the 1.6 million people living in the metropolitan area would risk staying.

― manthony m1cc1o (Anthony Miccio), Tuesday, 14 September 2004 21:48 (twenty-one years ago)

I fear for the other ILX adam!

― adam. (nordicskilla), Tuesday, 14 September 2004 21:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Many people will remain...too drunk to notice.

― Michael White (Hereward), Tuesday, 14 September 2004 21:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Only Wiggum PI can save us now.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, 14 September 2004 21:50 (twenty-one years ago)

i thought it said "slaying"!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Tuesday, 14 September 2004 21:50 (twenty-one years ago)

a stew of sewage, industrial chemicals and fire ants,

kinda like Mardi Gras, only with less toplessness

― Lt. Kingfish Del Pickles (Kingfish), Tuesday, 14 September 2004 22:49 (twenty-one years ago)

ohman I hope it doesnt sink. Im spending thanksgiving there! I cant spend thanksgiving in a submerged toxic waste dump.. or can I?

― bill stevens (bscrubbins), Tuesday, 14 September 2004 22:57 (twenty-one years ago)

mmmmm... submerged turducken...

― Sean Thomas (sgthomas), Tuesday, 14 September 2004 23:00 (twenty-one years ago)

We'll be there in late October. I can't wait to see rampaging giant fire ants enhanced by industrial chemical sewage mutations and drunk on cheap rum.

― Elvis Telecom (Chris Barrus), Tuesday, 14 September 2004 23:01 (twenty-one years ago)

ATTACK OF THE DRUNKEN MUTANT FIRE ANTS

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 14 September 2004 23:03 (twenty-one years ago)

WHO CAN SAVE US NOW

http://www.ociojoven.com/ezimagecatalogue/catalogue/variations/150x300/35402-150x300.jpg

― Lt. Kingfish Del Pickles (Kingfish), Tuesday, 14 September 2004 23:05 (twenty-one years ago)

And this would be different from mardi gras how?

― Stephen X (Stephen X), Tuesday, 14 September 2004 23:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Severe flooding in area bayous also forces out wildlife, including poisonous snakes and stinging fire ants, which sometimes gather in floating balls carried by the current.

AAAAAAAAAAAHH!!

― g--ff (gcannon), Tuesday, 14 September 2004 23:24 (twenty-one years ago)

don't forget all the palmetto bugs and nutria!

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 14 September 2004 23:25 (twenty-one years ago)

and aaron brooks!

― cinniblount (James Blount), Tuesday, 14 September 2004 23:29 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.horror-wood.com/them.h2.jpg

― nickn (nickn), Tuesday, 14 September 2004 23:50 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.nhc.noaa.gov/HAW2/english/surge/cathedral.mov

How High's the water, Mama?
Six feet high n' risin'...
How high's the water, Papa?
She said it's six feet high n' risin'...

― Lt. Kingfish Del Pickles (Kingfish), Wednesday, 15 September 2004 01:11 (twenty-one years ago)

I read this thread title and thought the Cold War must be back on. Damn Ivan and his evil Commie ways.

― Wooden (Wooden), Wednesday, 15 September 2004 01:12 (twenty-one years ago)

this isn't really that funny.

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 15 September 2004 01:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Holy crap.

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Wednesday, 15 September 2004 01:22 (twenty-one years ago)

"Fire ants ball up in a colony in a recently flooded area. They take turns being on bottom and top to breathe."

been there...

― chëshy (chëshy f cat), Wednesday, 15 September 2004 01:38 (twenty-one years ago)

This would be horrible, but amazing.

― Jimmy Mod, Man About Towne (ModJ), Wednesday, 15 September 2004 01:53 (twenty-one years ago)

http://us.news2.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/ap/20040914/capt.labh10309142110.hurricane_ivan_labh103.jpg

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 15 September 2004 01:54 (twenty-one years ago)

(I'm inevitably concerned for my friends there, but pretty sure everything will be fine before long; the city gets a lot of close calls, but direct hits are rare compared to Florida and the Carolinas -- they're just more dangerous when they do happen, and the preparations are famously insane[1], so they make good copy.)

([1] The emergency preparedness what the fuck do we do now plan exists only in hard copy, with no backups, in an office that -- in the event of an emergency -- would be underwater.)

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 15 September 2004 01:59 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm just glad they finally gave a hurricane a menacing name. And watch out, Tropical Depression Gene is building in the Caribbean.

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 15 September 2004 03:29 (twenty-one years ago)

but yeah, this isn't really very funny. everyone should've posted photos of themselves solemnly contemplating the possible destruction of gulf coast homes and businesses.

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 15 September 2004 03:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Come on. Who would want to have look at their callow, lame jokes prefacing reports of the sort of catastrophe that would occur if this hurricane destroyed New Orleans (and there's a fair chance of that happening) for the rest of the existence of ILE? That's a different degree of "not funny" than the point about insincere solemnity implies.

― Dickerson Pike (Dickerson Pike), Wednesday, 15 September 2004 06:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Bear in mind that all that's going on here is that because of New Orleans' geography, "bad results" from the storm happen to be really bad. The odds haven't actually changed. It's like playing a game of craps where if you roll snake eyes, you get shot in the face. You aren't actually more likely to roll snake eyes: you've just invested a lot more energy now into wanting not to.

(If it makes anyone feel better, worse, indifferent, whatever: hurricanes are funny in New Orleans. This is a sport. Even when they're tragic, they're at least a little funny. Cause this happens every couple years, after all, and snake eyes haven't come up in 40 years.)

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 15 September 2004 12:11 (twenty-one years ago)

God, it's like a Tragically Hip song come to life.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Wednesday, 15 September 2004 12:14 (twenty-one years ago)

I've seen the highest spot in the city of New Orleans. It's 9 feet about sea level--a little hump of ground inside the New Orleans zoo. There was a buffalo standing on it.

― Formerly Lee G (Formerly Lee G), Wednesday, 15 September 2004 12:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Smart buffalo.

― Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 15 September 2004 13:07 (twenty-one years ago)

I've thought about this fairly often, and it scares the hell out of me. I've also wondered if New Orleans could be what it is without the possibility of destruction (in many forms) looming at any moment.

― Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 15 September 2004 13:09 (twenty-one years ago)

You aren't actually more likely to roll snake eyes: you've just invested a lot more energy now into wanting not to.

But the recline of the mississippi river deta basin has been steadily upping the odds of "snake eyes" significantly.

― BrianB (BrianB), Wednesday, 15 September 2004 13:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Isn't there also some possibility of massive GRAVEYARD erosion, of the sort that supposedly might wash up long-dead corpses?

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 15 September 2004 13:23 (twenty-one years ago)

there are no graveyards in New Orleans, everybody's buried above ground in mausoleums.

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 15 September 2004 13:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh right! Isn't that because some graves did get washed up during some other massive flood or something?

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 15 September 2004 13:29 (twenty-one years ago)

probably. I'm sure that was real funny too.

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 15 September 2004 13:30 (twenty-one years ago)

AW POOR HSTENCIL NOT LIKE TEH ROFFLE ANYMORE

― RANDOS, Wednesday, 15 September 2004 13:35 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah, sorry "randy" the thought of friends and family that live in and around New Orleans dying isn't really that funny to me.

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 15 September 2004 13:39 (twenty-one years ago)

also I'm sure that the families of the 65 or so people killed by Ivan aren't really "roffling" right now either.

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 15 September 2004 13:40 (twenty-one years ago)

DO U FEEL A SIMILAR SADNESS TO ASIANS WHO GET CALLED "PIENOY FAGGOTS" BY INTERNET FRAT HOUSE DICKS?

― RANDOS, Wednesday, 15 September 2004 13:43 (twenty-one years ago)

that is unfortunate and uncalled for, yes, and I don't think I've ever called anybody that here. Getting called a bad name isn't quite the moral equivalence of death, though.

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 15 September 2004 13:46 (twenty-one years ago)

I think that New Orleans is the way it is because its people are all too aware that one day, they'll have to close shop, kiss it goodbye, and dance out of town in a jazz line, playing "When the Saints Go Marching OUT."

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Wednesday, 15 September 2004 15:16 (twenty-one years ago)

some people deal with scary things by cracking jokes. why is this so hard for others to understand?

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 15 September 2004 15:19 (twenty-one years ago)

THATS WHY THE NOIZE DUDES HATE ASIANS CUZ THEY WATCHED PEARL HARBOR

― RANDOS, Wednesday, 15 September 2004 15:23 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm nervous enough here in NE MS (40 mph sustained, 60 mph gusts expected tomorrow afternoon). I can't imagine being in N.O. right now. I'd be in hysterics or drinking the hysterics away. I have trees in questionable health on three sides of me, all over 4' in diameter, 50' in height.

ihttp://en.wikipedia.org/upload/2/27/Ivan_2004_Track.gif

― Rock Hardy (Rock Hardy), Wednesday, 15 September 2004 15:30 (twenty-one years ago)

But the recline of the mississippi river deta basin has been steadily upping the odds of "snake eyes" significantly.

Yes and no. It's more like -- there's no way to stretch the analogy to cover this -- it's increased the odds of Hurricane Q going to Spot Y if it gets to Area X, but it hasn't increased the chances of getting to Area X any.

It remains to be seen -- because it simply hasn't happened yet -- how much all of that is counteracted, or at least blunted some, by the forty years of additional preparations and technology that have accumulated -- forty years in New Orleans is like at least a decade, American time.

(Sweet Christ, it's just so hard to remember why I don't post here anymore.)

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 15 September 2004 15:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Hey Tep! I'm glad you've started again. I hope this thread will keep us all updated regularly over the next couple of days. Good luck to those in its footprint!

― Markelby (Mark C), Wednesday, 15 September 2004 16:01 (twenty-one years ago)

I am especially pissed about this, because it means that the two main people who have the power to ruin my day will not be going to NOLA for a conference, after all (and they're both in piss poor moods because of it, too).

We are not amused, Ivan, you asshole.

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 15 September 2004 16:09 (twenty-one years ago)

This thread title is misleading. New Orleans is already about 10 feet below sea level. Like Holland, ya know. And they have big levees and such, but they don't get tested or rebuilt often enough to rely on. I think the last time they rebuilt them was in the sixties, which was also the last time the entire city flooded under about 10 feet of water. And now you know why they don't bury their dead in the ground.

― Tonight at ten (kenan), Wednesday, 15 September 2004 16:19 (twenty-one years ago)

as pictured above, some people are already cracking jokes about this:

http://us.news1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/rids/20040915/i/r3210200084.jpg

― Lt. Kingfish Del Pickles (Kingfish), Wednesday, 15 September 2004 16:32 (twenty-one years ago)

ihttp://www.noaanews.noaa.gov/stories2004/images/ivan091504-1445z.jpg

― cinniblount (James Blount), Wednesday, 15 September 2004 19:15 (twenty-one years ago)

It's no Andrew.

― Tonight at ten (kenan), Wednesday, 15 September 2004 19:20 (twenty-one years ago)

let's hope not

― cinniblount (James Blount), Wednesday, 15 September 2004 19:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Wot's that li'l bastard sneaking up behind?

― Jimmy Mod, Man About Towne (ModJ), Wednesday, 15 September 2004 19:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Tropical Storm Jeanne, I think.

― Tonight at ten (kenan), Wednesday, 15 September 2004 19:23 (twenty-one years ago)

tropical storm jeanne (fury)

― cinniblount (James Blount), Wednesday, 15 September 2004 19:25 (twenty-one years ago)

We need to name storms Super Villan names -- Dr. Chaos, Mr. Mayhem, etc.

― Jimmy Mod, Man About Towne (ModJ), Wednesday, 15 September 2004 19:25 (twenty-one years ago)

I love the idea that the state borders are visible from space.

― TOMBOT, Wednesday, 15 September 2004 19:28 (twenty-one years ago)

the great wall of alabama

― cinniblount (James Blount), Wednesday, 15 September 2004 19:28 (twenty-one years ago)

The CRIMSON TIDE

― TOMBOT, Wednesday, 15 September 2004 19:30 (twenty-one years ago)

I love the idea that the state borders are visible from space.

Or painted in the ground twenty-feet wide in blue

― Jimmy Mod, Man About Towne (ModJ), Wednesday, 15 September 2004 19:31 (twenty-one years ago)

...also interesting is how close the Yucitan Penn. is to the US and how alien it seems.

― Jimmy Mod, Man About Towne (ModJ), Wednesday, 15 September 2004 19:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Fuck, I hope my friends in N.O. are okay.

― Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 15 September 2004 19:34 (twenty-one years ago)

> some people deal with scary things by cracking jokes. why is this so hard for others to understand?

because cracking abstract jokes abt the world blowing up is one thing, jokes abt something you know WILL kill people, and HAS killed people is not quite the same thing.

after you've lived through various points of hoping friends or family members will either live or be healthy thru floods, earthquakes, or revolutions, you find your sense of humor abt these situations flies out the window.

stence is OTM here.

― H (Heruy), Wednesday, 15 September 2004 22:41 (twenty-one years ago)

maybe yours does.

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 15 September 2004 22:43 (twenty-one years ago)

someone has had family (or themselves) hurt or killed by nearly everything under the sun. the attitude seems to be "oh that's fair game for jokes, cause it hasn't personally affected me".

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 15 September 2004 22:46 (twenty-one years ago)

i'm not going to reread the whole thread, but I don't remember anyone making jokes about people dying. making jokes about a situation in which people may die is very different.

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 15 September 2004 22:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Am I typing in invisible words again? I hate it when I do that.

Jesus Christ, you fucking whiny little cunts.

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 15 September 2004 22:47 (twenty-one years ago)

http://us.news2.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/ap/20040915/capt.lawh10909152137.hurricane_ivan_lawh109.jpg

http://us.news2.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/ap/20040915/capt.ladq10209151937.hurricane_ivan_ladq102.jpg

Some New Orleans residents, fearing for their lives.

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Wednesday, 15 September 2004 22:57 (twenty-one years ago)

This morning on the radio here they were saying the Missisippi has started flowing IN REVERSE cos of the huge surge of ocean water shoving it back up the delta. Yikes!

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 15 September 2004 23:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Maybe it'll give back some of that topsoil.

― Rock Hardy (Rock Hardy), Wednesday, 15 September 2004 23:24 (twenty-one years ago)

This is fucking tops: http://www.boston.com/dailynews/261/nation/Gators_on_loose_from_flooded_z:.shtml

― ex-jeremy (x Jeremy), Saturday, 18 September 2004 07:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Worst. Hurricane. Ever. At least I got out of work for a couple of days. Also to the people who thought doing road work on I-10 near Baton Rouge during Happy Funtime Evacuation was a good idea: pls die now thx.

― adam (adam), Saturday, 18 September 2004 17:42 (twenty-one years ago)

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