Choose the 5 words that will lose Bush the election!

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My dear friends, I have something extraordinary to tell you. After much subtle covert hypno-suggestion over the last six months, a great hypnotist and Democrat -- I shall not trouble you with his name -- has managed to put George W Bush into a state called 'suspended autocythonic metastasis'.

What this means is that, although he seems perfectly normal (by his standards, anyway), Bush is open to one very limited piece of behaviour modification: he can be made to speak a 5-word phrase at a crucial moment of his televised debate with John Kerry tonight. The phrase will be inserted into his brain by his make-up artist. The most extraordinary part of all this, though, is that it has been decided to let you, the denizens on ILE, choose the phrase.

The make-up artist, Elsie, will be reading this very thread right up to the moment Bush sits down in her chair. Whatever she says after the trigger phrase 'Afghanistan Bananastan' will enter Bush's brain, to be produced live on television at the height of the debate. She will choose the 5-word phrase she reads here which has the best chance of losing Bush the election. Your mission, ladies and gentlemen: find that 5-word phrase, and save the world.

― Momus (Momus), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:02 (twenty-one years ago)

"I like to fuck animals."

― Smokin' funk by the boxes (kenan), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:04 (twenty-one years ago)

WHO LET THE DOGS OUT?

― manthony m1cc1o (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:04 (twenty-one years ago)

Bearing in mind that what we need is to destroy Bush's appeal to his core voters, I propose the phrase 'I don't believe in God'.

By the way, I should add that Bush will not hear himself uttering the 5 word phrase, so he will not be able to correct it. If the moderator queries the phrase, Bush will also not hear the words.

― Momus (Momus), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:05 (twenty-one years ago)

TEE PEE FOR MY BUNGHOLE

― manthony m1cc1o (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:07 (twenty-one years ago)

"I ass fucked Gear's roommate"

― Penelope_111 (Penelope_111), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Good one with the God stuff.

Also maybe, "Jesus was a black man."

― Smokin' funk by the boxes (kenan), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:07 (twenty-one years ago)

daddy's gonna need a blowjob

― manthony m1cc1o (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:08 (twenty-one years ago)

it's like fucking a kike

― manthony m1cc1o (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:09 (twenty-one years ago)

silly manthony. kikes don't vote republican.

― Smokin' funk by the boxes (kenan), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:10 (twenty-one years ago)

it's like fucking condi rice

― manthony m1cc1o (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Welfare babies are extra tasty.

― Leon Czolgosz (Nicole), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:11 (twenty-one years ago)

PUSSY! PUSSY! GEORGE W. PUSSY!

― manthony m1cc1o (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:12 (twenty-one years ago)

I ordered the Abu Gareb...ghrabbebab...garrabababab...grebtabedbob-grdasdawd

(Elsie: "Shit! Plan B! Plan B!")

Vote John Kerry for President!

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:14 (twenty-one years ago)

"chris reeve had it coming"

― cinniblount (James Blount), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:15 (twenty-one years ago)

"I'm a tranny, so what?"

― Penelope_111 (Penelope_111), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Freedom lover or faggot? Decide.

― manthony m1cc1o (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:16 (twenty-one years ago)

I did it for daddy.

― Billy Dods (Billy Dods), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:16 (twenty-one years ago)

I laughed when Reagan died.

― Leon Czolgosz (Nicole), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Maybe terrorism isn't so bad.

― Jeff-PTTL (Jeff), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Thou shalt not kill, bitch.

― retort pouch (retort pouch), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Dick Cheney's my power bottom.

― manthony m1cc1o (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:19 (twenty-one years ago)

"I would nuke Ohio tomorrow."

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:20 (twenty-one years ago)

"Abortion is excellent birth control."

― Smokin' funk by the boxes (kenan), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Gay marriage should be mandatory.

― Leon Czolgosz (Nicole), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Dick Cheney powders my bottom

xpost

― Penelope_111 (Penelope_111), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:20 (twenty-one years ago)

o'reilly still has my vibrator

― sometimes i like to pretend i am very small and warm (ex machina), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Who cares about Bin Laden?

― manthony m1cc1o (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Couple more, Elsie:

Nine eleven 'My Pet Goat'.

I am a peace president.

― Momus (Momus), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Eat shit and die, America.

― manthony m1cc1o (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Pick any post of five words or less from this thread:
Funniest possible things to say during moment of climax.

― n/a (Nick A.), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:28 (twenty-one years ago)

"DO ME IN THE ASS!"

― Smokin' funk by the boxes (kenan), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:29 (twenty-one years ago)

Je suis pas un Americain.

― n/a (Nick A.), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:29 (twenty-one years ago)

Our casualties are God's will.

― manthony m1cc1o (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:29 (twenty-one years ago)

America's future lies with Communism!

― Momus (Momus), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:30 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't give a fuck.

― manthony m1cc1o (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Al Gore is my fwend.

― Momus (Momus), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Dick Cheney pays Bin Laden.

― Momus (Momus), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:33 (twenty-one years ago)

OW! My receiver just feedbacked!

― manthony m1cc1o (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Fuck god, communism's hyphy!!

― m. (mitchlnw), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:34 (twenty-one years ago)

Iwash myback witha ragon astick.

― n/a (Nick A.), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:34 (twenty-one years ago)

Ahhhhhhhh, my receiver just swallowed.

― Penelope_111 (Penelope_111), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:34 (twenty-one years ago)

The W stands for homosexual.

― Momus (Momus), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:35 (twenty-one years ago)

*applause*

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:36 (twenty-one years ago)

My policy: attacks and spend.

― Momus (Momus), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Clarence Thomas is my nigga

― manthony m1cc1o (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:37 (twenty-one years ago)

(my fifth word was submerged in the exclamative force of the statement)

― m. (mitchlnw), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Again: 'No masturbation without representation.'

― Momus (Momus), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Only bad soldiers get killed

― manthony m1cc1o (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Read my lips: NEW TAXES.

― n/a (Nick A.), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 20:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Skipping 128 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

Brand New themepark: Abu Ghirabarama

― Roshan Abraham, Thursday, 14 October 2004 14:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Tinfoil hats prevent rolling blackouts.

― briania (briania), Thursday, 14 October 2004 14:30 (twenty-one years ago)

"Speak up, Karl. Signal's fading."

― o. nate (onate), Thursday, 14 October 2004 14:37 (twenty-one years ago)

"Need any wood, Senator Kerry?"

― kristen, Thursday, 14 October 2004 14:41 (twenty-one years ago)

I like touching little girls!!
or
Cheney's thunder cock rocks me!!

― selmisha, Thursday, 14 October 2004 15:11 (twenty-one years ago)

September Eleventh wasn't that bad.

― Sarita, Thursday, 14 October 2004 15:13 (twenty-one years ago)

(late, alas, but it came to me-)

"let me see that thong."

― Megan Heller, Thursday, 14 October 2004 15:24 (twenty-one years ago)

God told me to die.

― Momus (Momus), Thursday, 14 October 2004 16:12 (twenty-one years ago)

Derrida was my best friend.

― kristen, Thursday, 14 October 2004 16:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Americans, you smell like shit

Do some fucking exercise, fatsos

― Joe Kay (feethurt), Thursday, 14 October 2004 16:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Terorists have feelings, you know?

― The TAO that can be Posted is not the TAO! (The Tao that can be Posted is), Thursday, 14 October 2004 19:28 (twenty-one years ago)

I fucked Cheney's gay daughter.

― The TAO that can be Posted is not the TAO! (The Tao that can be Posted is), Thursday, 14 October 2004 19:29 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.imomus.com/fivewords.jpeg

― Momus (Momus), Thursday, 14 October 2004 19:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Kristen's post was good, in a way.

― the bluefox, Thursday, 14 October 2004 19:33 (twenty-one years ago)

i wanna hear otto spooky!

― tchock, Thursday, 14 October 2004 21:05 (twenty-one years ago)

arnold schwarzenegger is an idiot!

― fibdemetics, Thursday, 14 October 2004 22:02 (twenty-one years ago)

I wore a wire, fools.

― Wooden (Wooden), Thursday, 14 October 2004 22:04 (twenty-one years ago)

"...nuclear, oops, excuse me, nucular..."

― fibdemetics, Thursday, 14 October 2004 22:47 (twenty-one years ago)

"Worship me as your god."

― Aimless (Aimless), Thursday, 14 October 2004 23:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Mola Ram, you betrayed Sheba!

― Sir Kingfish Beavis D'Azzmonch (Kingfish), Thursday, 14 October 2004 23:16 (twenty-one years ago)

go fuck yourself, san diego.....

― darragh.mac (darragh.mac), Friday, 15 October 2004 00:03 (twenty-one years ago)

"where the titties at, osama?"

― darragh.mac (darragh.mac), Friday, 15 October 2004 00:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Don't need no stinkin' eleck-shunssssss.

― Sporty Orty, Friday, 15 October 2004 00:35 (twenty-one years ago)

FUCKY FUCKY CUNT CUNT COCK

― Wooden (Wooden), Friday, 15 October 2004 00:42 (twenty-one years ago)

my mama is a man...

― Impatella Aindrix, Friday, 15 October 2004 01:07 (twenty-one years ago)

No shit, I didn't serve!

― VB, Friday, 15 October 2004 01:41 (twenty-one years ago)

Canada's next on the list.

― VB, Friday, 15 October 2004 01:43 (twenty-one years ago)

bring it on + mission accomplished

― Symplistic (shmuel), Friday, 15 October 2004 01:46 (twenty-one years ago)

for the "what actual five words will lose bush the election?" thread.

― Symplistic (shmuel), Friday, 15 October 2004 01:47 (twenty-one years ago)

"we know he has 'em"

i've done it in four, does that get me a prize?

― darragh.mac (darragh.mac), Friday, 15 October 2004 02:09 (twenty-one years ago)

"i wanna takeya to-a gay-bar!

― chrisco (chrisco), Friday, 15 October 2004 02:33 (twenty-one years ago)

― chrisco (chrisco), Friday, 15 October 2004 02:34 (twenty-one years ago)

"let 'em eat community college!"

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Friday, 15 October 2004 02:45 (twenty-one years ago)

i.e., yer pushing 50 and you HAD a good rewarding job, but that job's now in mumbai and it's time to return to "high school w/ ashtrays"!

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Friday, 15 October 2004 02:46 (twenty-one years ago)

"my daughters sure are fuckable!"

― Sir Kingfish Beavis D'Azzmonch (Kingfish), Friday, 15 October 2004 05:53 (twenty-one years ago)

"i am drawing magical unicorns" - i'm very curious to see what he writes down while kerry is talking.

― mobo, Friday, 15 October 2004 05:58 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.thatsuncalledfor.com/debate_notes/

― Momus (Momus), Friday, 15 October 2004 08:03 (twenty-one years ago)

HI DERE WAHT'S IT MADE

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 15 October 2004 08:35 (twenty-one years ago)

"i'll eat earth for breakfast"

― roger l, Friday, 15 October 2004 13:29 (twenty-one years ago)

"tell me you love me"

― roger l, Friday, 15 October 2004 13:30 (twenty-one years ago)

"Kerry should be farted on"

― roger l, Friday, 15 October 2004 13:34 (twenty-one years ago)

Bush should be farted on.

― roger1sucks, Friday, 15 October 2004 14:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Because Bush is an asshole

― roger1reallysucks, Friday, 15 October 2004 14:22 (twenty-one years ago)

And roger1 is a whore.

― roger1reallyreallysucks, Friday, 15 October 2004 14:23 (twenty-one years ago)

"I'm not running for president."

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Friday, 15 October 2004 18:26 (twenty-one years ago)

"Jelly tastes best between buttcheeks"

― Sir Kingfish Beavis D'Azzmonch (Kingfish), Friday, 15 October 2004 18:42 (twenty-one years ago)

"tell me you love me"

"I'm asking for you vote" from the last debate was close enough.

― Smokin' funk by the boxes (kenan), Friday, 15 October 2004 18:45 (twenty-one years ago)

curios george was my dad

― daniel cambil, Saturday, 16 October 2004 06:36 (twenty-one years ago)

"Come on. Gimme another shot."

― Gear! (Gear!), Saturday, 16 October 2004 07:18 (twenty-one years ago)

BRING IT ON, MOTHER FUCKERS.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Saturday, 16 October 2004 08:53 (twenty-one years ago)

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