Explain quantum physics to me - as a bedtime story for a 4 year old

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Can it be done?

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 21:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Once upon a time there were things.
Things are there.
And they are not there.
Sometimes.
Maybe.
You will be happy.
Goodnight.

― Orbit (Orbit), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 21:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Not easily. It's like asking "explain European history".
The "Brief History of Time"-ish books usually give a short background to quantum physics, but this might not have the depth you want. However, with depth comes equations, which may not be what you (and the hypothetical 4 year old) might want.

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 21:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Damn Barry, I thought you would rise to the challenge...

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 21:58 (twenty-one years ago)

OK, them's fighting words. I'll think about it on my way home from work ...

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 22:00 (twenty-one years ago)

There once was a little boy who was very very small, and he had amazing powers! He could be in two places at exactly the same time, and if you actually looked at him to see where he was, you couldn't figure out where he was going or how fast! Some people think that he liked to play with strings; other people though that he liked spinning...sometimes forwards, sometimes backwards, sometimes up and sometimes down. In the end he gave up on all of this weirdo shit and opened up a bar on Deep Space Nine. Hilarity ensued.

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 22:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Although you might want to replace "shit" with "stuff" when telling the story to the 4 year old.

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 22:46 (twenty-one years ago)

A nice bit of history for the curious:
http://www.aip.org/history/heisenberg/p08.htm

Highlights:
"The more I think about the physical portion of Schrödinger's theory, the more repulsive I find it...What Schrödinger writes about the visualizability of his theory 'is probably not quite right,' in other words it's crap."

--Heisenberg, writing to Pauli, 1926

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 23:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Shrodinger's Cat is teh stupid.

― for real, Thursday, 14 October 2004 01:51 (twenty-one years ago)

i have a test about this garbage on friday. tell me more!

― caitlin hell (caitxa), Thursday, 14 October 2004 02:00 (twenty-one years ago)

Explain linnear algebra to me as a bedtime story, please!

(Actually, my dad used to do just that, come to think of it. I should get my dad on this thread. Hang on...)

― Danger Whore (kate), Thursday, 14 October 2004 08:23 (twenty-one years ago)

yes, tell about lin alg as well because that test is today. oh no!

― caitlin hell (caitxa), Thursday, 14 October 2004 10:10 (twenty-one years ago)

(The woman sitting next to me on the bus was studying linear algebra. I was quite enjoying reading over her shoulder all about the associative properties of vectors or some such gubbins... Why can't we study neat stuff like that in Double Maths instead of the tedious crap we've been doing?)

― Danger Whore (kate), Thursday, 14 October 2004 10:13 (twenty-one years ago)

it's not actually that enjoyable! what's double maths?

― caitlin hell (caitxa), Thursday, 14 October 2004 10:23 (twenty-one years ago)

it's when it's all wrong again

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 14 October 2004 10:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Boredom in a can... Last week we learned how to make pie charts ::shoots self::

― Danger Whore (kate), Thursday, 14 October 2004 10:24 (twenty-one years ago)

I never felt so much like Little Man Tate...

"Today we are going to learn about positive number and negative numbers..." and I want to know all about the square roots of negative numbers and she's telling me that they don't exist and I say BUT THEY DO, BUT THEY DOOOO, WHAT ABOUT i?!?!? THERE'S ACRES OF EQUATIONS TO FIND THEM, LET ME AT THEM, ENOUGH OF THIS TEDIUM...

― Danger Whore (kate), Thursday, 14 October 2004 10:27 (twenty-one years ago)

square roots of negative numbers are only imaginary, kate

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 14 October 2004 10:27 (twenty-one years ago)

JUST BECAUSE THEY'RE IMAGINARY NUMBERS DOESN'T MEAN THEY DON'T EXIST?!??!

WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'M BEING IRRATIONAL?!?!?! DO I LOOK .33333333333333333333 TO YOU?!?!?

― Danger Whore (kate), Thursday, 14 October 2004 10:28 (twenty-one years ago)

p.s. is this a gcse course?

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 14 October 2004 10:29 (twenty-one years ago)

(Wait, is that an irrational number, or are irrational ones that ones that don't repeat, ever, like Pi? Oh god, no wonder I'm in remedial maths if I can't remember this kind of thing...)

― Danger Whore (kate), Thursday, 14 October 2004 10:29 (twenty-one years ago)

irrational number is one that cannot be expressed as a fraction

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 14 October 2004 10:31 (twenty-one years ago)

.3333 recurring would be 1/3?

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 14 October 2004 10:32 (twenty-one years ago)

it's way more rational than the square root of 2.

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 14 October 2004 10:32 (twenty-one years ago)

an irrational number can't be described as a ratio of integers, yet it is a real number.

xxpost

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Thursday, 14 October 2004 10:32 (twenty-one years ago)

OK, so now this is why I'm in the dummies remedial class. I mix up recurring decimals and irrational numbers. Sigh.

― Danger Whore (kate), Thursday, 14 October 2004 10:33 (twenty-one years ago)

i hardly remember any maths from school actually.. i can't even integrate/differentiate equations anymore (i used to be the KING of it at school)

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 14 October 2004 10:37 (twenty-one years ago)

pie charts?
http://www.one38.org/1000/issue07/piecharts/life.gif

― caitlin hell (caitxa), Thursday, 14 October 2004 10:39 (twenty-one years ago)

I am so going to print that out and hand it in as my homework.

Dude, I work in marketing. I SPEND MY LIFE HAVING TO MAKE PIE CHARTS AND BAR CHARTS, TEACH ME SOMETHING I DON'T KNOW LIKE DIFFERENTIAL CALCULUS OR SOMETHING!!!

― Danger Whore (kate), Thursday, 14 October 2004 10:41 (twenty-one years ago)

ugh, marketing. that sounds like a nightmare. i can teach you to form an orthonormal basis of vectors using the gram-schmidt process. but not now, i'm going to fail school.

― caitlin hell (caitxa), Thursday, 14 October 2004 10:43 (twenty-one years ago)

i am remembering bits of it now...

2x² + 4x + 1 => 4x + 4???????

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 14 October 2004 10:43 (twenty-one years ago)

something like that, and then y => dy/dx

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 14 October 2004 10:44 (twenty-one years ago)

and that means for the graph y = 2x² + 4x + 1, the gradient dy/dx at any given point is determined by dy/dx = 4x + 4???

is that it??

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 14 October 2004 10:45 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm still trying to remember the bit about the (x + y)(x - y)

God, I hope my dad doesn't get on this thread now, he'll how ~~much I've destroyed my brane with booze~~ stupid I am...

― Danger Whore (kate), Thursday, 14 October 2004 10:47 (twenty-one years ago)

and for a graph with gradient 4x+4 the area under the graph would be 2x²+4x+c where c is the value of y when x = 0?

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 14 October 2004 10:47 (twenty-one years ago)

(x + y)(x - y) => 2x² - 2y²

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 14 October 2004 10:48 (twenty-one years ago)

that's a trick for reducing the equation? i can't remember

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 14 October 2004 10:49 (twenty-one years ago)

x^2+y^2

― caitlin hell (caitxa), Thursday, 14 October 2004 10:50 (twenty-one years ago)

sorry i put the two 2s there like a retard!

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 14 October 2004 10:53 (twenty-one years ago)

i like how we just went from quantum physics to a-level algebra!!!

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 14 October 2004 10:56 (twenty-one years ago)

ken c dumbing it down with calculus.

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Thursday, 14 October 2004 10:59 (twenty-one years ago)

I mix up recurring decimals and irrational numbers.

Recurring decimals are always rational, because they can always be converted into a fraction.

― caitlin (caitlin), Thursday, 14 October 2004 10:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Goddammit, only in the crazy mixed up "Oh no, science pisses on mathematics FROM A GRATE HEIGHT!!!" world of ILX would people refer to a physics thread being dumbed down with Calculus.

Nutters.

― Danger Whore (kate), Thursday, 14 October 2004 11:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Or rather... LEPTONS!!!

― Danger Whore (kate), Thursday, 14 October 2004 11:06 (twenty-one years ago)

it's not so much physics being dumbed down by mathematics.. it's more kinda quantum physics being dumbed down by simple newtonian mechanics? :)

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 14 October 2004 11:10 (twenty-one years ago)

there are a lot of interesting mathematics theories that are way more complex than quantum physics.. it's just that differentiating 2x² isn't really it

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 14 October 2004 11:13 (twenty-one years ago)

(i love differentiating 2x² though)

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 14 October 2004 11:16 (twenty-one years ago)

I suppose that it's the difference between "interesting" and "useful"? Or maybe not?

I find things interesting that I don't have to have any use for, that are just pure maths (or science) for the fun of stretching my brain.

I mean, the non-maths people in my class, the things they are interested in are the things that make sense to them, or relate to things in their experience and/or lives. On that level, pie charts are going to grab their attention far more than differential equations because it's practical rather than... I don't know, what would be the word? Conceptual? (Heck, they can't even get their heads around negative numbers until you put it into terms of overdrafts or feet below sea level.)

What's going to make more sense to people? Simple Newtonian mechanics or the "gee whiz, infinitessimally small particle physics and quantum mechanics"? Depends on the person. If you are practical, you'll pick the Newtonian Pie Charts, but if you're just bored and want to brake your brane then you will be entranced by the ... errr... more abstract. (Forgive me, I have a wicked headache and haven't had much sleep.)

― Danger Whore (kate), Thursday, 14 October 2004 11:21 (twenty-one years ago)

AND THERE'S SOME PIECE OF FREAKING EQUIPMENT IN THE OFFICE NEXT DOOR THAT WHEN THEY TURN IT ON REARRANGES THE ATOMS OF MY MONITOR SO THE IMAGE WIGGLES and it's driving me crazy. Phew, it's stopped now.

― Danger Whore (kate), Thursday, 14 October 2004 11:24 (twenty-one years ago)

twas a joke.

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Thursday, 14 October 2004 11:31 (twenty-one years ago)

haha jimmyparker has an ion gun outside kate's window

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 14 October 2004 11:35 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm coming you next ken (unless you have a tft)

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Thursday, 14 October 2004 11:38 (twenty-one years ago)

p.s. i actually don't know much about either physics or calculus => computer science student innit!! i'm all about discrete maths!! but SHH don't tell anyone

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 14 October 2004 11:38 (twenty-one years ago)

(discreet geddit!?!??!!)

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 14 October 2004 11:38 (twenty-one years ago)

i made a big mistake up there. it's x^2-y^2, not +. i'm retarded.

― caitlin hell (caitxa), Thursday, 14 October 2004 12:15 (twenty-one years ago)

we're both retarded in our own special (needs) way

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 14 October 2004 12:16 (twenty-one years ago)

i got a B in discrete math :(

― caitlin hell (caitxa), Thursday, 14 October 2004 12:18 (twenty-one years ago)

retard

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 14 October 2004 12:21 (twenty-one years ago)

i was a freshman, you know, 'adjusting to college life'. i didn't do any homework for that class. OOPS.

― caitlin hell (caitxa), Thursday, 14 October 2004 12:23 (twenty-one years ago)

I am so bad at maths that when I have to rearrange x=y/z in terms of y or z, I have to replace the letters with numbers, jiggle them around until they fit and then put the letters back.

I'm really into quantum physics though.

― Steve.n. (sjkirk), Thursday, 14 October 2004 12:24 (twenty-one years ago)

i'm bad at different bases of numbers, like binary and hexidecimal. i just don't care about it. that's what i hated about discrete. also inductive proofs, which are important and i should know how to do.

― caitlin hell (caitxa), Thursday, 14 October 2004 12:26 (twenty-one years ago)

There's a good bit about quantum theory on wikipedia. Start by reading about the double slit experiment.

― Steve.n. (sjkirk), Thursday, 14 October 2004 12:26 (twenty-one years ago)

i just did this kind of problem for homework. the slit was really small but the distance from the slit to the screen was the distance from new york to los angeles. ridiculous.

― caitlin hell (caitxa), Thursday, 14 October 2004 12:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Explain linnear algebra to me as a bedtime story, please!

Take a whole lot of boring simple equations and repeat.

Then for tensors, repeat even more times.

Keep doing this until you get bored and type it into MAPLE which will produce the answer.
Linear algebra may be the most boring course ever invented if it wasn't for numerical analysis courses.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Thursday, 14 October 2004 12:29 (twenty-one years ago)

numerical analysis really made me want to hang myself.

― caitlin hell (caitxa), Thursday, 14 October 2004 12:30 (twenty-one years ago)

isn't numerical analysis what the teachers give you as a punishment when you turn up late for class?

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 14 October 2004 12:31 (twenty-one years ago)

it's a pretty harsh punishment. you write boring programs about solving differential equations and making bezier curves. a few times i skipped it and this really smart kid from the middle east told me i'd never be a good mathematician.

― caitlin hell (caitxa), Thursday, 14 October 2004 12:33 (twenty-one years ago)

when i was at a-level i got really close to solving fermat's last theorem with just algebra (i think it was that elegant solution) but i had to go to the pub.

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 14 October 2004 12:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Numerical analysis is phenonemonally unfun.

― RickyT (RickyT), Thursday, 14 October 2004 12:43 (twenty-one years ago)

i really love talking about math

― caitlin hell (caitxa), Thursday, 14 October 2004 12:48 (twenty-one years ago)

it figures

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 14 October 2004 12:51 (twenty-one years ago)

cubic splines are neat and all but I don't really feel the urge to crank mroe then one or two out by hand.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Thursday, 14 October 2004 13:27 (twenty-one years ago)

AND THERE'S SOME PIECE OF FREAKING EQUIPMENT IN THE OFFICE NEXT DOOR THAT WHEN THEY TURN IT ON REARRANGES THE ATOMS OF MY MONITOR SO THE IMAGE WIGGLES and it's driving me crazy.

It's called an "electric motor". Hope this helps, have a nice day, etc.

(I have to have a fan on my desk, because my office is always really, really hot. However, it plays hell with the picture on one of my monitors)

― caitlin (caitlin), Thursday, 14 October 2004 18:48 (twenty-one years ago)

i think i did a pretty bad job on my test.

― caitlin hell (caitxa), Thursday, 14 October 2004 20:12 (twenty-one years ago)

My dad finally got back to me on this one!!! He has a PhD in Physics, and he was great at bedtime stories about multiple dimensions... (apart from when he really scared me with the story about the big bang and the expanding universe coz I didn't realise it would take millions and billions of years) But anyway, this is what he said:

>Would you care to have a go?

Any fairy tale has it just about right for quantum mechanics.
Or 'peek-a-boo'.

Erm, short but sweet. Or something.

― Kissing Time At The Pleasure Unit (kate), Friday, 22 October 2004 09:25 (twenty-one years ago)

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