Narrow Escapes

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I discovered this evening that I had left a hob of the oven lit for the best part of a week, including three days when I was out of the house entirely. The house and me are still here - lucky old me, safe old oven. I am utterly horrified at myself, especially as I'd been in the kitchen many times since lighting the hob in the first place. There isn't really a question, I just felt the need to say something about an incident I would be way too embarrassed to tell face-to-face. Maybe you can use the thread to detail some intensely stupid or absent-minded things you've done which should by rights have cost you your every worldly good.

― Tom, Monday, 19 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I left a clothes iron on for an entire weekend once. No harm done luckily but I felt like a real space case. It wasn't too kind on the electric bill either.

― Kim, Monday, 19 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

It could fill a thread but I came home and actually had caused fires, twice

― maryann, Monday, 19 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

So um the narrow escapes are thousands of events similar to the precursors to the two non-narrow escapes which resulted from pot on stove and heater under curtains.

― maryann, Monday, 19 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I still don't understand. How can you possibly leave a hob on for AN ENTIRE WEEK? Didn't you use the cooker at all in that time? Did you have all your senses removed for the 7 days?

Lucky you started this though, I've just remembered that I left my large collection of steak knives in a small children's sandpit on the outskirts of town. Must dash.

― Ally C, Monday, 19 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I once almost bit off a hamsters head.

― Mike Hanle y, Tuesday, 20 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

One of my friends nearly swallowed a spider. Thank god he managed to spit it out or else he would have ended up having to swallow a cat to catch the spider that wriggled and tiggled and tickled inside, er, him.

― Jonnie, Tuesday, 20 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

what the fuck is a hob ?

― anthony, Tuesday, 20 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

The top of a cooker, where you cook with pots and pans.

― Jonnie, Tuesday, 20 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Nope, I didn't use the cooker. I was out of the house for three days, and the other evenings I either didn't eat (I skip evening meals quite often due to non-hunger) or was out and ended up having pub grub or something. BUT I would have been in the kitchen to wash up, make sandwiches, and put washing on so I am still a complete mentalist.

― Tom, Tuesday, 20 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

oh, the range ,

― anthony, Tuesday, 20 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

oh, the humanity

bath running while on computer collapses downstairs neighbour's bathroom ceiling (three times in three years) (admittedly the big collapse was a day after my car-crash and i was actually in a hospital waiting room: note to self — turn off taps when you go to get x-rayed)

― mark s, Tuesday, 20 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

making 8 l. of eggnog for 8 people .

― anthony, Tuesday, 20 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I put the kettle on (fancy stainless steel whistling type - i left the whistle off, of course) and went to bed. Was woken up several hours later by vile smell. I was mainly pissed of because thee kettle was really nice, The outer plate on the bottom had completely melted off and there was a puddle of solder under the ring. It was rubbish, but not as bad as tom's story which completely baffles me.

― Norman Phay, Tuesday, 20 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Tom, you are a mentalist and it is proven that your lifestyle is not a safe one. You must cook every day for a week to prove to yourself that you have not left the hob on.

Most important Tom : when your gas bill comes, open it quickly. I fear it may be rather significant.

― Pete, Tuesday, 20 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Yeah I'm not looking forward to it, however at least there won't be the usual feeling of terrible injustice when a utilities bill is high. The great thing about gas also is that the understaffed utilities co.s go by meter estimations not actual readings so by the time they come and read the meter (they have done so once in the 12 months I've lived here) I may well be long gone. We shall see.

Partial explanation of madness: you know how most gas knobs go from off through low to high? Well mine go straight from off to high and then down to low. So if - as obviously happened - I turn the knob in the wrong direction the gas does not turn off but instead goes to a very very low level, which is what it was on (for five-and-a-half days).

I am never cooking again.

― Tom, Tuesday, 20 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

No Tom, actually most gas hobs go from off to High, as high is much easier to light that low (more fuel to be lit by pesky spark) so this excuse will not hold unfortunately.

― Pete, Tuesday, 20 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Tom you are a wally. I have never endangered my own life in such a reckless manner and indeed once saved the day by chucking a damp tea towel over a raging pan fire in a calm, level-headed way while my housemates shrieked and panicked.

― Emma, Tuesday, 20 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

RickyT's toaster lost its automatic popup function, and he put toast in one hungover morning and forgot about it. next thing we knew there were flames coming out the top and we had to put the whole thing in the sink. the scary thing is that we had someone staying over a few weeks previously who was unaware of toaster malfunction and had obviously burned the toast (the small was awful) while we were out. had she gone into the bathroom or something while the toast was burning we may very well have had no flat left.

― katie, Tuesday, 20 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

chip pan fires = brilliant chance to prove to yrself you are level-headed and bond-like: i recall my mum dealing with one when i was small (also recall hideous pong for days after); and i have also rushed abt w.a damp towel and smothered the flames to save the day — sadly i was the only witness

― mark s, Tuesday, 20 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Luckily we all saw the funny side.

― Funny Side Observer, Tuesday, 20 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

On a school camping trip (NB it was compulsory), the person I was sharing a tent with messed up fitting a gas canister (one of the disposable ones that gets pierced when you screw it in) to his stove, and dropped the canister after it was pierced. As it whizzed around the grass and everyone sane dived for cover, I calmly walk over to it and press my thumb over the hole. Boy am I stupid.

I still worry about what would have happenned if it had exploded.

― Graham, Tuesday, 20 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Well let's see, when I fell down the stairs headfirst that was something of a near miss, given where my head ended up (at least the body still stayed with it).

― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 20 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I set my dressing gown on fire, from the hob fairly recently. I suddenly felt warmer, and put myself out swiftly. I didn't panic, I just thought about the fact that I should probably remove said dressing gown, which would be embarassing in front of the kitchen window. If I put stuff on to boil I usually forget. I am the only person I know who can actually burn boiled potatoes.

― alix, Tuesday, 20 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I very nearly bashed my skull in slipping on some ice earlier this year, which wouldn't have happened in the first place if I hadn't been late for work and not looking where I was going.

― Nicole, Tuesday, 20 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I nearly did that in Spain Lixi, my flat wasn't centrally heated so I had this little heater that went on the floor that I had to move from room to room. I was gazing adoringly into the mirror in my bedroom before going to bed to give myself sweet dreams when I realised the hem of my 100% artificial fibre dressing gown was smouldering. Fortunately I put it out before I spontaneously combusted.

― Emma, Tuesday, 20 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

seven years pass...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/7925009.stm

― they probably drink corporate water (country matters), Thursday, 5 March 2009 12:37 (seventeen years ago)

wow!

― not_goodwin, Thursday, 5 March 2009 12:47 (seventeen years ago)

srsly.

― they probably drink corporate water (country matters), Thursday, 5 March 2009 14:47 (seventeen years ago)

HOLEY SHIIIIT!!!

― snoball, Thursday, 5 March 2009 14:50 (seventeen years ago)

Lucky he was wearing a helmet.

― Ned Trifle II, Thursday, 5 March 2009 14:57 (seventeen years ago)

Blimey.

― krakow, Thursday, 5 March 2009 19:48 (seventeen years ago)

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