Ever feel like something's missing and you don't know what it is, but you know that it can not be found in drugs, sex, friends, insulting people online, sleep, exercise, work, reading, eating, showin

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This is how I feel everyday. Online, I merely lash out or befriend others for something to do, just do fill some sense of nothingness that can never be filled. This is not exactly psychopathy/sociopathy as far as I can tell, but it certainly is mental illness or at least mental vacuity. I do feel empathetic for others if I genuinely know how they feel, but mostly I feel sad for cats, homeless people and those beheaded by terrorists and their families. Cats sit around bored inside and you can never talk to them. When they are outside, they are crazy and paranoid. I saw a fight in the grocery store today and I was happy to be witnessing it. Some nerdy guy called the cashier a "fat little troll" and kept asking the manager for his name. Finally, the manager pushed him and the nerd said, "Good, now I'm calling the cops!" I bet he didn't. That fucking nerd. What do you fill the nothingness with so that you don't resort to trolling on message boards?

― Jack's Blasé Rage, Friday, 12 November 2004 19:23 (twenty-one years ago)

(Is this the longest thread title ever?)

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Friday, 12 November 2004 19:27 (twenty-one years ago)

(and the most disjointed single paragraph?)

― JBR, Friday, 12 November 2004 19:30 (twenty-one years ago)

apparently some pick fights with fat little trolls at grocery check outs.

― Emilymv (Emilymv), Friday, 12 November 2004 19:31 (twenty-one years ago)

apparently some pick fights with fat little trolls at grocery check outs.

But, see. That's just not me.

― JBR, Friday, 12 November 2004 19:34 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't know if I feel the way the guy who started this thread does...I get depressed easily, but I always find something that makes me happy. I think.

― Nowell (Nowell), Friday, 12 November 2004 19:38 (twenty-one years ago)

The title is so long that when I scanned over it I thought it said something about drinking out of toilets.

― dave225 (Dave225), Friday, 12 November 2004 19:41 (twenty-one years ago)

JBR! You're back!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 12 November 2004 19:41 (twenty-one years ago)

okay, so you don't want to pick the fights. but you did enjoy watching. maybe you should become the grover dill to the aggressive nerd's scut farkus and be a cronie of some sort. get your thrills vicariously through your counterparts vile behaviour.

― Emilymv (Emilymv), Friday, 12 November 2004 19:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Go to Disney World.

― Nowell (Nowell), Friday, 12 November 2004 19:43 (twenty-one years ago)

I would get very bored if I witnessed stuff like this on a regular basis.

― JBR, Friday, 12 November 2004 19:44 (twenty-one years ago)

Grover Dill .. thanks, I've been trying to think of his name, because I wanted to compare George W Bush to Scott Farkus's toadie. (He just wants to be liked.)

― dave225 (Dave225), Friday, 12 November 2004 19:45 (twenty-one years ago)

fitting comparison, dave.

― Emilymv (Emilymv), Friday, 12 November 2004 19:46 (twenty-one years ago)

I do feel this way sometimes, and more often that I'm just waiting for life to begin. This is when I get too focused on purpose and the 'future', I'm happier when I'm actually doing something like painting, going for walks, meeting friends, reading - the moments when I'm involved in the here and now (distracted sounds too negative). Perhaps, this idea of purpose and results is something that's wrong with the world, like you've got to be doing this, earning this much or done that by then, otherwise you're not a complete person. This isn't helping much, I'm sorry, because I'm saying that the simple things in life can help. Sometimes I just read the same chapter on Spinoza in a basic philosophy book, and feel a lot better about life - the dude was great.

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 12 November 2004 19:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Jel, the essential "missing" thing just needs to be filled with something to forget, right?

― JBR, Friday, 12 November 2004 19:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Maybe I just need Focus Factor.

― JBR, Friday, 12 November 2004 19:51 (twenty-one years ago)

That sounds like depression to me.

― k3rry (dymaxia), Friday, 12 November 2004 19:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Sounds like Generalized Anxiety Disorder to me. Not that I'm a doctor.

― 57 7th (calstars), Friday, 12 November 2004 19:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes, filled with something, not so much to forget but as to make it seem less important and consuming.

Sorry, I'm too hippyish.

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 12 November 2004 19:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Maybe your list is a little too inclusive. I was going to say, satisfying work, since your email points to the opposite.

― 57 7th (calstars), Friday, 12 November 2004 19:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Sounds like
A.) Depression
B.) Generalized Anxiety Disorder
C.) Reality

Isn't this what existentialism was all about?

― JBR, Friday, 12 November 2004 20:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Maybe your list is a little too inclusive. I was going to say, satisfying work, since your email points to the opposite.

This is a temporary distraction.

― JBR, Friday, 12 November 2004 20:03 (twenty-one years ago)

I agree that the one thing on that long list in the thread title that probably needs adjustment is "work". If your present job never leads to any feelings of accomplishment and satisfaction, that's a problem.

Even if you know that you're going to be stuck in this job for a while due to circumstances, you need to know what job you'd be happier in and have a plan for getting there. Preferably it would be a plan you could start following right away, so you'd feel more hopeful about your present too-empty job going away.

It's your life. You might miss your grab for the ultimate brass ring, but it's at east worth a try. You're going to be a long time dead, so there's no reason to waste time on practising for it now.

― Aimless (Aimless), Friday, 12 November 2004 20:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Mmm.... I'm doing what I've always wanted to do. It's not what's missing. Not at all. I get wrapped up in work (sometimes frustratingly so). Right now, there is nothing to do and I have no interest in thinking something up to do. I can't think of any line of work that would be more fulfilling or fitting for me.

― JBR, Friday, 12 November 2004 21:07 (twenty-one years ago)

I think you need to try insulting people online AND in person more.

And have you considered letting Jesus Christ in your life?

― sugarpants (sugarpants), Friday, 12 November 2004 21:09 (twenty-one years ago)

♥

― :| (....), Friday, 12 November 2004 21:11 (twenty-one years ago)

crosspost. or what sugarpnats said in the second paragraph, yes.

― :| (....), Friday, 12 November 2004 21:12 (twenty-one years ago)

I tried that, but those things only made me more miserable.

― JBR, Friday, 12 November 2004 21:13 (twenty-one years ago)

whats wrong with being miserable? it wears off pretty quickly if you dont fight it.

― :| (....), Friday, 12 November 2004 21:15 (twenty-one years ago)

So, you're suggestion is to insult people in all walks of life, accept Jesus Christ in my life and be more miserable by doing so. Now, that's just stupid.

― JBR, Friday, 12 November 2004 21:17 (twenty-one years ago)

no, insulting people is a bad idea. but the other two things are urgent and key.

― :| (....), Friday, 12 November 2004 21:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Key to further stupidity, perhaps, but I do not drive the "EVEN FURTHER" bus.

― JBR, Friday, 12 November 2004 21:25 (twenty-one years ago)

scared of being stupid. scared of being unhappy. youre dog-paddling. stop it.

― :| (....), Friday, 12 November 2004 21:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Scared? Where do you get this?

― JBR, Friday, 12 November 2004 21:28 (twenty-one years ago)

well if youre not scared why dont you try being unhappy instaed of avoiding it?

― :| (....), Friday, 12 November 2004 21:29 (twenty-one years ago)

Your list didn't include two things--love or art. The two things that keep me going are laughing with my girlfriend and making films. Laughter and art can be very cathartic.

If you decide to be creative, try your best not to be self-indulgent. The secret to art as catharsis is to concern yourself with concerns outside of yourself. In other words, ditch the ego.

― jay blanchard (jay blanchard), Friday, 12 November 2004 21:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Interesting. I've always been an artist, so I guess I didn't even list it because it is often just a source of frustration (as when I have no ideas or every idea seems boring and "done" or if I can't seem to get the art to do what I want it to do) and every artist I know is frustrated by their art except the hippy dippies who make crap like ceramics on the side.

I enjoy time with my girlfriend all the time and lots of other passing interests as well, but when these moments pass, I can't help but feel that I am already very familiar with all that is out there and the feeling of being unfulfilled comes from lack of the undiscovered.

― JBR, Friday, 12 November 2004 21:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Maybe you could get married.

― Nowell (Nowell), Friday, 12 November 2004 21:41 (twenty-one years ago)

"I didn't even list it because it is often just a source of frustration"

But that's exactly the point--at least you're frustrated at something that is outside of yourself.

And believe me, you're not "already familiar with all that is out there"--how old are you?

― jay blanchard (jay blanchard), Friday, 12 November 2004 21:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Maybe you could get married.

You just gave me an idea! Maybe I need kids!

― JBR, Friday, 12 November 2004 21:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Maybe! I don't plan to get married or have kids, though...

― Nowell (Nowell), Friday, 12 November 2004 21:44 (twenty-one years ago)

And believe me, you're not "already familiar with all that is out there"--how old are you?

Oh, I'm sure I'm not, but it feels that way. I can't think of any experiences that would feel "new". Maybe I have that travelling bug and need to uproot every few years and live somewhere else to feel fulfilled, but I sincerely doubt it.

― JBR, Friday, 12 November 2004 21:48 (twenty-one years ago)

I want to travel. But, well, I can't. My caretaker travels, but she never takes me anywhere...When she came back from Morocco, she told me that Europeans are snobby and that they don't like Americans.

― Nowell (Nowell), Friday, 12 November 2004 21:51 (twenty-one years ago)

morocco isnt in europe.

― :| (....), Friday, 12 November 2004 21:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Well, whatever.

― Nowell (Nowell), Friday, 12 November 2004 21:52 (twenty-one years ago)

anyway, jbr, how about flotation tanks. have you tried those.

― :| (....), Friday, 12 November 2004 21:53 (twenty-one years ago)

:|, you mean like an isolation tank? I wish I had the space! Probably get bored, though... ;)

― JBR, Friday, 12 November 2004 21:58 (twenty-one years ago)

what do you mean, space. you dont need to buy one.

― :| (....), Friday, 12 November 2004 22:03 (twenty-one years ago)

I can go to a flotation tank? Where? Is it sanitary? Do I have to wait in line behind some kid with a snorkel or some old guy with goggles?

― JBR, Friday, 12 November 2004 22:08 (twenty-one years ago)

there are flotation tank studios in most bigger cities.

― :| (....), Friday, 12 November 2004 22:12 (twenty-one years ago)

:|, have *YOU* ever tried it? Or are you just throwing weird shit out there?

― JBR, Friday, 12 November 2004 22:13 (twenty-one years ago)

i have tried it, yes. it is the epitome of boredom.

― :| (....), Friday, 12 November 2004 22:18 (twenty-one years ago)

in fact all non-flotation tank boredom pales in comparison. its so boring that your subconsciousness makes shit up in order to entertain you.

― :| (....), Friday, 12 November 2004 22:21 (twenty-one years ago)

youll never be as bored again, and hence never be afraid of boredom again.

― :| (....), Friday, 12 November 2004 22:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Ha, ha. I think I would be to busy thinking about how much money it's costing to get thoroughly into the experience. But, you do have a point there about using it as a frame of reference. But, it's not like I don't realize things could be worse.

― JBR, Friday, 12 November 2004 22:25 (twenty-one years ago)

And why do you keep alluding to some "fear"? I'm not afraid of boredom or stupidity.

― JBR, Friday, 12 November 2004 22:25 (twenty-one years ago)

oh ok. if you say so.

― :| (....), Friday, 12 November 2004 22:28 (twenty-one years ago)

did I start this thread?

― cºzen (Cozen), Friday, 12 November 2004 22:33 (twenty-one years ago)

say, you are aware that imagining what things are like is not a substitute for actually experiencing them? crosspost.

― :| (....), Friday, 12 November 2004 22:35 (twenty-one years ago)

say, you are aware that imagining what things are like is not a substitute for actually experiencing them? crosspost.

I have experienced much excruciating and heart-wrenching pain in my life, but I never once have found myself in a position and thought, "Well, at least I'm not getting physically injured like that one time or heartbroken like that other time. Sure, everything is a character building experience. But, I think my many nights of insomnia are a fair enough comparison with sensory deprivation. I have enough experience with boredom to know that essentially being bored is not really the problem here.

― JBR, Friday, 12 November 2004 22:39 (twenty-one years ago)

im afraid you have no idea. its a big diference whether you can hear distant cars or a ticking heater or even a breathign neighbour or nothing but yourself. whether you see street lights or the moon or the clocks led or absolutely nothing. they dont call it a flotation tank because your bodys floating.

but I never once have found myself in a position and thought, "Well, at least I'm not getting physically injured like that one time or heartbroken like that other time.

do you mean its getting worse every time? thats horrible.

― :| (....), Friday, 12 November 2004 22:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Wait - where is Morocco?

― Nowell (Nowell), Friday, 12 November 2004 22:59 (twenty-one years ago)

in africa.

― :| (....), Friday, 12 November 2004 23:00 (twenty-one years ago)

Shit. Maybe she said something else and I thought she said something else and....Nevermind.

― Nowell (Nowell), Friday, 12 November 2004 23:01 (twenty-one years ago)

do you mean its getting worse every time? thats horrible.

No, I mean to say that my imagination is actually probably a pretty good indicator of the flotation experience, though you suggested it's no substitute for the real experience, because no other experience has served me well for comparison purposes in the past. It just never happens that I think, "Well, I may feel hopelessly lost, but at least ________ is not happening." And, even if I did start doing this on a regular basis, it would not solve the problem of feeling hopelessly lost.

― JBR, Friday, 12 November 2004 23:16 (twenty-one years ago)

What is this flotation tank thingy you speak of? Sounds interesting.

― :-/, Friday, 12 November 2004 23:16 (twenty-one years ago)

two months pass...

this wasn't me.

― Nimrod Kovacs (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 1 February 2005 15:16 (twenty-one years ago)

goddamnit people, do I have to spell everything out for you:

http://www.christcenteredmall.com/stores/art/sallman/portrait-of-Jesus-zoom.jpg

― Dude, are you a 15 year old asian chick? (jingleberries), Tuesday, 1 February 2005 19:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Maurice Gibb?

― Stevem On X (blueski), Tuesday, 1 February 2005 22:37 (twenty-one years ago)

i can never test this theory since one thing always seems to be missing from my life.

and it ain't jesus.

― lolita corpus (lolitacorpus), Tuesday, 1 February 2005 22:39 (twenty-one years ago)

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