Shopping Shame - Purchasing Pornography and other Dubious Delights

Wow! You rule!

An unfamiliar part of time... why yes, I went all the way back to Revolutionary France to get it.

Thing is, I was less embarrassed by the pornographic element than by the taste element. I really wanted to shout COME ON I'M NOT ACTUALLY GOING TO LISTEN TO IT, YOU KNOW, I MEAN, THE SPEAKERS ON MY LAPTOP ARE BROKEN...

Come on! Other people have to endure shopping shame! What about when you buy Barry Manilow records for your mum and stuff?

I'd suggest the Libertines' single but that seems too obvious somehow.

(Close but no cigar)

The most tastelessly shameful thing I've ever bought is an Alanis Morrisette album for a friend. The most shameful thing I've ever asked someone to do is fix my car after water unaccountably got poured into the oil reservoir. Pr0n isn't shameful unless you're embarrassed about not having internet access or something.

I was so ashamed of that that I had to keep it in a brown paper wrapper.

I would do that with this, but I've no idea how to put a plain brown wrapper on a DVD.

x-post, nah. Colder again.

Is this supposed to be the meeting point of mine and Matt's minds? If so, I think I might have to stop talking to him.

I had great shame buying the Jentina 12" picture disc, despite knowing that it was going to be smashed by Lady Sovereign that night on stage. It felt wrong and bad.

I am detecting a common theme here. I mean, sexuality is sexuality. Buying actual porn or sex toys, although potentially shameful, seems to be a more natural "well, the worst they're going to think is that I'm wanking. And everybody wanks" or maybe it's the thought that it's a lot more straightforward.

With buying music... you really do feel like your tastes (which are the defining identity of most ILX0rs) are up for judgement, and you really don't want to be judged on something that isn't you.

I would actually RATHER have had the shop assistant have thought that I was going to take the DVD home and wank to it, than have him think I was going to listen to it. Except he was teenage and a bit spotty and probably *liked* the bloody band. Sigh.

Well... I don't know. It's worse when it's a shop that you go to regularly and the shop assistant sort of knows you, or at least recognises you and your taste. I would *NEVER* have bought it at Selectadisc or somewhere like that.

I can remember from working at Tower that yes, I did used to snear at people who bought stuff I thought was rubbish.

I do get slightly embarrassed about buying kinky sex toys - bondage gear and suchlike.

I can't remember the last time I was embarrassed by a book/record store purchase, but I know I have been.

But still, yeah. Deep and burning shame. My heart really was pounding as I bought it, like I was doing something very, very wrong.

Probably more because I was embarrassed of myself, and judging myself, than fearing that someone else was judging me, but still.

x-post

(I think the last time this happened was when I bought a Stereolab album in the Grimsby HMV)

Surely the shame lies in what is being wanked over?

God, I'm a snob, but what else is new?

Surely the shame lies in what is being wanked over?

Matt, you might be onto something.

But... you know... it's DVD!!! I CAN WATCH IT IN UBER SLOW MOTION FREEZE FRAME WITH PERFECT CLARITY AND SEE WHO SLIPS WHOM THE TONGUE WHEN THEY SNOG!!!

Worst things for me:

1/I buy some "star wars" related merch for a young relative's birthday, It's some scene from the second film, w/jabba the hut, it comes in a very large box. Like an idiot, I bought it at the beginning of a shopping trip, and everybody in all the record shops etc I visited that day took the piss out of me.

2/In WH Smith, I see some interviewee who I'm interested in mentioned on the cover of a lad mag. I take a look, a couple who I'm good friends with come in at the same time, and surprise me. Argh, I put the magazine back on the shelf, with the cover facing inwards, she picks it off the shelf to see what I'm looking at. argh, you caught me hahaha browsing lad mags I say. Cringing embarrasment.

Man, Pash, see, this is how I behaved when I worked at a record shop, and I'm terrified of it being done to me. Except most kids in HMV don't know their Julian Casablancarse from their Elbow. So I shouldn't worry.

OK, I will confess. I plugged the headphones in exactly once. For the interviews. My god, Carl Barat is one sexy bitch. It's his voice. K-rowr. Really deep and those plummy, treacley LUGUBRIOUS ac-TOR tones. I did not realise that he was so damn funny. The interviews and the bits where they are kidding around are great.

And then they go and spoil it all by playing... ugh.

When really I just wanted to get at what exactly it was that embarrassed people most to buy.