Bridey and Lady Marchmain in London - Family Visitation HELP!

Better scrub the bog and hide the offensive Damien Hirst prints!

And see if I can find a syphillitic German soldier to leave lying around the flat. ;-)

my Mum's down this weekend, we're taking her to the pub, Borough market and St John bread ond wine. She only gets a weekend though.

Borough is always a good one though, and can take up a morning, then tate modern in the afternoon after a walk along the thames - a perfect "with parents " day

Borough Market/Tate Modern - good!

OK, both mum and Hamish *hate* conceptual art, but I think there will be enough else to interest them.

Big problems - my mum doesn't drink. So it's not like I can really take her to a pub unless there's people for her to talk to. Also, she can't walk very far or fast since the car accident, so my favourite London city walks are all out.

Oh for gods sake, this thread is going to be shorter than my one about Carl Barat's operation, isn't it?

if they're old-skool lovers then a trip to Sir John Soane's would sort them out for a while?

as for Tory friendly? there are loads of fox hunts on boxing day.....

Ah, yes! Soane's would be good. Except, wait, it's got lots of really steep twisty stairs. No good for Mum.

Fox hunts... ha ha. My brother can't ride for shit, unfortunately, or I would actually suggest it. He's going to whinge because I don't belong to any clubs. Maybe I should find out if there's a branch of the Yale Club or the Ivy League Club in London to shut him up. I'm sure there's got to be...

lock him in the cupboard.

Don't give me ideas.

Where is that "Conservative In The Family" thread, anyway?

How's the budget, Who's paying? There's the london eye, if they haven't lived here for a while.

How about day trips out of london? jump on the thameslink and go down to the south coast somewhere?

Sales shopping?

The budget is going to be royally screwed by the US exchange rate at the moment. Come to think of it, we really have to discuss this, and I need to make it clear that they are going to be paying. My mum will be fine with low-budget options, but my brother... argh. If he wants to live like a lord, he's got to foot the bill.

Sales shopping... I mean, my mum will want to go round Liberty and Harrods. But the exchange rate makes hardcore shopping pretty pointless.

Day trips... hrmmm. Must investigate that option. Good idea! Also, my mum can drive, so I must look up car hire options. Maybe we can go look at country houses and things.

(I just need to make it clear. It's my brother that is the Tory Bastard. My mum is an ordinary Guardian reader.)

If you could hire a car for the part of the time, why not go for a drive to Richmond. Your brother will love it as it's rugger bugger territory, but it's also really pretty got nice shops to look round, but not necessarily buy stuff from, and there are places to viist nearby - if it's nice you can walk along the river, but there are houses to visit nearby, there's one at St Margarets, but I can't remember the name of it... Kew gardens is in the vicinity too, and it's not hard to get over there - just stay on the south circular.

my mom and i killed an afternoon attending a cooking workshop at books for cooks when she visited. you don't do the cooking, just watch and follow along (it's like food tv but live) and get to eat at the end. they do good veggie classes as well (we went on veggie food from provence, or something)

it's entertaining, unique, nice lunch, sitting down with wine if you want. just have your brother wander around notitng hill trying to meet hugh grant or something.

we also got makeovers at cosmetics a la carte last year, which was a lot of fun and very silly. if you just turn up it's free, just ask lots of questions and they'll help. again, a nice girly bonding thing that doesn't require you to entertain her.

i'm remembering you talking about your brother...does he wear a lot of pink?

i also think you should have a FAP. but not until i'm back, so the 30th or after.

xpost-- and kew has a little tram thingy so if your mom gets tired she doesn't have to walk the whole way.

Yeah, I was thinking Kew Gardens/ Hampton Court. Buck up Julia, you'll get through it.

Julia? I'm soooo Sebastian. ;-)

Kew will definitely be on the list, especially if they have little tram things. My grandparents were botanists so Kew is up there with St. Paul's for religious experiences for this side of the family.

Say 'hi' to Aloysius for me.

I should actually ask my mum to bring Aloysius with her. Except she would be mean to him and make him ride cargo and there wouldn't be air for him and he would suffocate and that would be bad. :-(

I'm sure you could console yourself over her plovers' eggs.

And the wine. It's simply HEAVEN with the strawberries!

Is that gold still buried there?

Someday when I am old and ugly, I will dig it up and remember...

*Applause*

If you will allow me some gratuitous flattery, milady, I should say thay you may well be old one day but never, never ugly.

Croydon has Big Tram Things. There's Lifetimes, too, at the Croydon Clocktower (at least, I'm assuming it's still there). Go and have Captain Sensible narrate the history of Croydon at you. Features actual pair of football boots actually worn by John Salako in the actual FA Cup final in 1990. And a bubble car.

:-) Awww. Thank you.

It's the only thing my entire family agrees on, is Brideshead Revisited. Maybe we can go and visit Castle Howard and reenact entire scenes from the novel...