Office Holiday Party Nightmare

A young girl goes in for a checkup at the doctor and he gets out his stethoscope and says "okay, big breaths!", and she replies "Yeth, and I'm only thixteen!".

all but 4 females
1/2 are over 40
1/2 are early-mid 20's/30's

shit. i have to go to a meeting right now about this very thing!

and Limbo dancing

and dance routine games

But it's a bit like White Magic with the secretly agreed rules and all, which is fun for all the family/company!

You were right the first time as far as my workplace is concerned!

So I had my qualms when this guy I once knew who had a reputation for being a violent little bugger back in school joined our company i had my doubts. It seemed though that in the time since I'd last seen him he'd turned out to be a reasonable bloke. Very polite, professional, maybe a bit slimey.

This all stopped the other day at the office party which was based at a function hall that we shared with other small businesses. He started arguing with a colleague, apparently out of the blue, accusing him of racism and generally giving him a hard time. Said colleague left the party early in a huff swearing blind this kid had simply walked up to him and started arguing with him.

Party continues, but the kid is starting to act weird. He walks up to me "I ain't no pussy". I just said "I know you aren't". Then I saw him walking towards a group of colleagues who were drinking and chatting and knew somehow there was trouble in his eyes. He lunghed towards my friend Clive and broke his lip. Before he could do more, I got him in a headlock and pushed him on the floor and essentially sat on him while he threatened to get his "p**i brothers" on me, before the sales manager bundled him into a taxi.

By that time we'd all had enough and more taxis were called. We're standing outside and the kid comes back somehow, so I ran in to call security, he followed me in and I managed to rush out, dove into a waiting taxi and we went home.

He's still at work and no one's talking to him. I don't like to get involved with drunken scuffles of any sort and only did what I had to do to stop the kid hitting Clive again. No one is happy. He apologised kind of sheepishly to Clive the next day, Clive told him not to talk to him and wouldn't accept the apology, neither would any of the rest of the team. He claims he remembers nothing.

This is a guy I sometimes see hanging out in town on a night out. It seems he hasn't changed his ways, he lives round the corner from me and knows where my house is. I don't know exactly how violent and unreasonable he's likely to get if I run into him outside of work, whereas my colleagues live elsewhere and aren't likely to meet him, but they're only aggravating him if anything by not accepting his apology. I'm completely unfussed and would rather have a quiet life, but if this guy's anything like how I knew him in my school days then he's likely to get fairly unreasonable if I see him and he's out drinking.

After all the acceptances or refusals for the party (my first year here) got sent, HR posts signs "It's a Party! Dress Up!" all over the office.

Today (24 hrs before the party), added in green marker at the bottom of the signs: NO T SHIRTS OR JEANS. First mention of that.

Fucking idiots.

Yeah, we got an email yesterday saying we have to wear sports coats or jackets and no jeans.

I own 2 pairs of pants that aren't jeans. One has dirt stains I can't get out (floor of a Savannah bar in October) and the other barely fits.

grozart needs to finish his tale...

xp You have to go shopping and go to a party?? brutal..

One has dirt stains I can't get out (floor of a Savannah bar in October)

I think Dr Morbs has more fun than all of us.

Oh, per Mr Wilde, I avoid occasions that require new clothes. I ain't buying shit. xp

our party is tonight. it probably won't be as eventful as last year, when i spent most of the evening in the men's room nursing a 60ish year old, who became a zombie through some sort of booze+medication cross-reaction. prior to losing all motor skills, he was groping a wasted young woman at our dinner table. she groped back and went on to wet herself after being escorted home.

i got to enjoy my reheated steak the next morning, along with the gifts secret santa brought me: a 12 pack of yuengling and a national treasure 2 dvd.

Morbs, that was Thoreau.

so it was! what did Wilde say in response? musta been something.

"The only way to atone for being occasionally a little over-dressed is by being always absolutely over-educated."

Someone made chicken wings?! This is a really great spread. It's like our monthly "birthday break" times 3!
I'm glad that no one tries to rope me into conversations as I pile food on my plate then bee-line to my cubicle.

tonight in the Skit i am Donald Trump

my office party is tonight. it will be fine. i will be extremely hungover at work tomorrow (having an office party on a work night is something that would never happen in scotland, canadians are monstrous people).

Ours is tomorrow. I specifically joined the planning committee so I could have say on the music playlist. (IE, so I could be the sole person creating it, thank you very much.)

i am so full of regret for volunteering for this

pics pls

happy holidays everyone

https://i.imgur.com/syEumPt.jpg?1

Uncanny

HOOS you are my kinda [redacted]

god i am so hungover

lowlight of the xmas party: non-binary colleague having to explain pronoun preference to drunk ex-colleague who was completely perplexed by the whole thing. they got there in the end tho.

I went to my office's holiday party only long enough to enjoy free dinner and load up on drinks, then got changed and walked to a black metal show. A+, would recommend