Is it better to have a full time job when you move out or just MOVE OUT and look after your own freakin self.

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ok, anyone whose read ILX for any length of time knows that I live at home and I have a kind of stormy r/l with my parents. It's much better now, but I still live at home and I'm 21 and I'm not going to university and I don't have a job.
I have a couple of hundred dollars saved but other than that I have no income coming in, I have a job waitressing for a function centre but there aren't any functions on at the moment. I find customer service really painful and I'm kind of hypersensitive to people while not being able to adequately help them. The function centre suits me because I don't really have to talk to customers. Anyway, I'm waiting to get a full time job so I can support myself.. but I want to get one I can actually do and doesn't make me desperately unhappy. And it's taking me forever, that last year has just passed me by, and I haven't had full time employment since November (which was a checkout chick and they fired me because i was too slow).
I don't think I *am* going to get a full time job while I live at home, I think I need the desperation of bills & rent etc before I do anything I don't like for the money. I don't think I'm going to be happy before I'm independent and I just have to jump. Has anyone been in a similar situation?

― Nellie (nellskies), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 07:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, I say just move out.

― Hurting (Hurting), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 07:20 (twenty-one years ago)

hello, i am in exactly (it is kind of eerie in fact) your situation at this very moment. unfortunately that means i cannot help you.

― John (jdahlem), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 07:21 (twenty-one years ago)

what i am going to do, if you care, is throw myself into the pond to see if i float, so to speak. probably, very soon.

― John (jdahlem), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 07:23 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm doing Operation Pond-Throw when I graduate, too. Good luck!

― Gravel Puzzleworth (Gregory Henry), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 07:25 (twenty-one years ago)

i think i shall get a job at wal-mart, in the stock room. they don't let their workers work over 39 hours a week, which i find charming.

― John (jdahlem), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 07:25 (twenty-one years ago)

actually that reminds me i had a dream that i applied for work at wal-mart but when the girl took me into this basement interrogation room for the job interview she demanded i have flight training!! so i didn't get the job.

― John (jdahlem), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 07:26 (twenty-one years ago)

btw much appreciated gravel, let's us three keep each other updated mmkay.

― John (jdahlem), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 07:27 (twenty-one years ago)

after i left (wal-mart)(in the dream) i was like what the FUCK do i need flight training to work at motherfucking WALMART for and i realized i'd been had. i went back in there to look for the bitch who screwed me but she was gone.

― John (jdahlem), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 07:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Get a job and save some money first. I made the mistake of moving out without any savings, bad things happen some time later (after I still haven't saved any money) and I have to sell off things I really like to stay above water. Sucked. If your parents aren't pushing you out the door and living at home isn't severely cramping your style stretch it out a little bit longer. Force yourself to get a job.

You've got experience as a waitress and don't seem to hate it, get a full-time job doing that.

― milozauckerman (miloaukerman), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 07:31 (twenty-one years ago)

I suppose the flipside to that could be "move out without a safety net, but don't drink, do drugs or get arrested and save money." But that takes all the fun out of living on your own.

― milozauckerman (miloaukerman), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 07:34 (twenty-one years ago)

that is my primary concern at the moment

― John (jdahlem), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 07:44 (twenty-one years ago)

Yep, get a job first. What if you don't find a job, get into finan problems and have to beg your parents for help?

― stevie nixed (stevie nixed), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 07:45 (twenty-one years ago)

i will spend tonight thinking of good questions to ask on this thread tomorrow.

― John (jdahlem), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 07:48 (twenty-one years ago)

i think i shall get a job at wal-mart, in the stock room. they don't let their workers work over 39 hours a week, which i find charming.

Legitimizing not giving workers ample benefits for just under full time work (since they're forcing you to work below 40 hours a week which qualifies as full time and hence requires employers to provide benefits) is very charming. We wuv Wal Mart.

― donut christ (donut), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 07:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Where do you live Nellie and John? Because there are lots of places which need teachers - I assume even without the college degree you could still teach elementary school. Maybe I'm wrong, but think about jobs like that - just because you havent gone to college doesnt mean you have to do a minimum wage type of thing if you're smart. Try and find a job where you can gain some skills/responsibility over time.

― Mediawhore, Tuesday, 18 January 2005 08:03 (twenty-one years ago)

39 hours doesn't ualify as full time work! That is insane (or just american I guess). In the UK 25 hours is effectively full time and in France 35 hours is the maximum working week before overtime and extra holidays kick in.

― Ed (dali), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 09:23 (twenty-one years ago)

I live in Australia. you need a degree to look after chiddlers here, and I'm not really responsible enough to do that, It'd destroy me if anything happened to one.
The french are lazy and delicious. (says the girl who lives at home because she doesn't want to work)
Actually the other reason I want to move out is that if I start working & financially supporting myself for a year I can go back to uni with financial assistance from the government.
I have no self discipline, that's why I've just started Karate.. and I scared myself looking into the mirror after class tonight, my face was so red!

― Nellie (nellskies), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 10:31 (twenty-one years ago)

In the UK 25 hours is effectively full time

WHAT THE FUCK?
When does one ever work? That's five hours a day?!?!?!?!

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 14:03 (twenty-one years ago)

No wonder UK people go to the pub for lunch!

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 14:11 (twenty-one years ago)

We actually work the longest hours in Europe, it's just that the legal benefits of working full time kick in at 26 hours a week.

― RickyT (RickyT), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 14:14 (twenty-one years ago)

i think i'd echo the 'try to have some savings' idea, though i don't think you need to find a permanent career type job before you move out. it would just make everything easier if you had some money to get you through the job-hunt and until your first payday. i was in such a hurry to get to chicago that i took a crap job that i quit after a week, didn't have much money saved, so the first month or so until i started temping was pretty painful. if i'd saved like $1000 before moving, it would have been easy peasy. if you're living at home, just get a full-time job or two for like three months, and save everything you can. only go out once a week, don't buy new clothes, seriously think of it as a game to see how much money you can save in that period of time. then move out, and you'll have the luxury of a bit of padding so you can find a job you like rather than the first one that's offered...

― colette (a2lette), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 14:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Hi Nellie,

Yes to quote the Beastie Boys, living at home is such a drag, especially when you actually want to go out and do something with yourself yet no-one seems to take you seriously. When it gets to that stage then having the tenacity to achieve your ambitions can get really difficult, especially if your parents are on at you.
I graduated from uni in 2002 and never realised it would take me this long to get only this far. I'm still living with my Dad, haven't paid back any debts and have only just managed to find a half-decent job (which doesn't actually require university training anyway, but what the hey). Still it's looking up but it's taking a while so I guess I'm the wrong person to give advice to you.
The best thing I can say is to try all the different alleys you can. You don't have to do customer services to earn money, nor I have found, do you need qualifications flying out your bum to get a good job. It's really about applying for a good job at the right time and showing you can do it. You're probably setting your sights too low which is why you're not getting on in the jobs you've been doing. Scour the papers for office and other jobs that might sound interesting; attend interviews and see what your options are.
You never mentioned what you want to do at uni - maybe you should look into getting a background job that might have some connection to what you want to do. This will show employers that you're interested in the role as it is something you want to do at degree level. Of course it might also be advisable NOT to mention you're going to uni for obvious reasons.

― dog latin (dog latin), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 14:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Can you move in with a friend?

― 57 7th (calstars), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 14:53 (twenty-one years ago)

Another reason to live at home and work full-time - you need furnitures. Much better to buy a couple of new/used pieces than inherit the couch that smells funny.

― milozauckerman (miloaukerman), Tuesday, 18 January 2005 18:16 (twenty-one years ago)

wrong dudes, wrong.

Nellie, how much is a a few hundred? If it's closer to "a thousand" than it is to "one hundred" then just go for it, find a roommate, find someone to stay with, live in a pit studio hellhole. Take on any part-time work you can while you're trying to get a full-time job. You'll be better for it, IMO.

Although if you would consider going to University at all, that might be your free ticket to housing outside of the 'rents...

― Allyzay Highlights The Fallacy of Radiohead (allyzay), Wednesday, 19 January 2005 03:00 (twenty-one years ago)

Ok, it's $400 AUSTRALIAN dollars, which is not huge.
I've made a decision to stay here, get a job and leave in June.
1. Mum and Dad are going away for two months so I'd have to look after this place anyway while they were gone, and it's not worth me moving out then back again.
2. It would be better to have a job when i left
3. I have to start a new really restrictive diet and it would be heaps easier to do that whilst in a stable environment.

I do want to go to uni, I haven't decided between two courses so I'm just going to apply for both, and both could lead to my dream career.
Though Ally I don't know what you mean about free housing at Uni? Dorms? like in Felicity? I think that's an American thing. I'd still have the same issues here, I'm not eligible for government assistance.
So, yay! resolution, but I have to get off my ass and be motivated, confident and determined. Can't wait.

― Nellie (nellskies), Friday, 21 January 2005 04:29 (twenty-one years ago)

Move out, that's my advice- at some point a few years ago my anxiety dream of choice became- instead of forget to study for the test, drop the class, or return the library book- forgot to pay the rent so had to move back with the 'rents.

― Ken L (Ken L), Friday, 21 January 2005 04:43 (twenty-one years ago)

John, Why don't you be a drummer?

― XXXXX, Friday, 21 January 2005 18:12 (twenty-one years ago)

Nellie try for a clerical or secretarial job. After a couple of years you will make decent money and they aren't that hard to get at the entry level. Law office reception jobs are good places to start. Definitely get a job BEFORE you move out--what landlord is going to approve someone without a job?

― Orbit (Orbit), Friday, 21 January 2005 18:16 (twenty-one years ago)

xxxxxx i don't understand the anonymosity, or what you are talking about!

― John (jdahlem), Friday, 21 January 2005 18:33 (twenty-one years ago)

I dunno, being a drummer isn't all bad....

― Orbit (Orbit), Friday, 21 January 2005 18:35 (twenty-one years ago)

You just seem like a drummer?!

― xxxx, Friday, 21 January 2005 18:45 (twenty-one years ago)

I need a login name

― xxx, Friday, 21 January 2005 18:47 (twenty-one years ago)

We will name you.
I dub thee Verbal Litigator.
Other ideas?

― Orbit (Orbit), Friday, 21 January 2005 18:49 (twenty-one years ago)

all god's chillin got riddim, except this one

― John (jdahlem), Friday, 21 January 2005 18:52 (twenty-one years ago)

But don't you think you should be in a band?

― xxxx, Friday, 21 January 2005 20:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Is it better? Oh yeah. It is lots better to have the job than to not. Make every effort to get teh job. Sort the rest out after, but get teh job.

― Aimless (Aimless), Saturday, 22 January 2005 04:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Aye, what Orbit said is right too - even if you go for a share house, you'd be hard pressed to find someone to agree to let you move in if you say you have no work. And no real estate agent would *ever* approve a rental app without a job.

― Trayce (trayce), Saturday, 22 January 2005 05:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Umm, actually I have a couple places I can move into right away, that's not really the problem.
problem is continually being able to support myself, hence complication.

― Nellie (nellskies), Saturday, 22 January 2005 05:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Ah right.. yeah.

― Trayce (trayce), Saturday, 22 January 2005 05:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Though Ally I don't know what you mean about free housing at Uni? Dorms? like in Felicity? I think that's an American thing. I'd still have the same issues here, I'm not eligible for government assistance.

Oh...I had no idea that they didn't have this there! I'm really sorry. I knew they have it at at least some UK schools, I stayed with someone in their university hall once. That's really too bad because that's the easiest fix I could've thought of. I think that the plan you came up with is really solid though and is honestly quite similar to what I did myself, set up a deadline to leave, work towards it to make sure there's at least a tiny bit of cash, and then go. I think that's solid. As soon as you get close-ish to that $1000 mark (or maybe over it!) you should go, is generally my opinion.

― Allyzay Highlights The Fallacy of Radiohead (allyzay), Saturday, 22 January 2005 06:07 (twenty-one years ago)

i thought they raped you on room and board simply because they could (generally you have no choice as a freshman at least)? i thought it cost at least 400/mo for a shared 10x10 room (whateva a typ dorm room is) w/ roomate, which is bunk obv.

― John (jdahlem), Saturday, 22 January 2005 06:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Not mine. I have a 2bdrm 800sqft apt that I paid $950 for the entire semester...

― Allyzay Highlights The Fallacy of Radiohead (allyzay), Saturday, 22 January 2005 06:28 (twenty-one years ago)

shit. i thought they charged me like 3500 for a semester. i'ma gonna check up on this.

― John (jdahlem), Saturday, 22 January 2005 06:32 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.missouri.edu/mufacts.htm

Annual Room and Board (FY 2005)
Various options available. For example, a double occupancy room with 21 meals per week costs $6,220.

― John (jdahlem), Saturday, 22 January 2005 06:38 (twenty-one years ago)

im in this situation but cannot afford to move out at this moment, finacially and otherwise.

― the first church of latebloomer, friend of plebians and santa (reformed) (latebl, Saturday, 22 January 2005 07:03 (twenty-one years ago)

that sounds like bullshit to mea...and i can't find any tea...

JUST GET THE FUCK OUT Y'ALL.

― John (jdahlem), Saturday, 22 January 2005 07:11 (twenty-one years ago)

fuck ewe!

http://www.cheviotsheep.org/images/ewe.jpg

― the first church of latebloomer, friend of plebians and santa (reformed) (latebl, Saturday, 22 January 2005 07:34 (twenty-one years ago)

i found my tea, but that still sounds like bullshit man, u and nellskies both. seriously if you're content to at least live in temporary poverty i'ma pretty sure it's possible to scrape by on yr own for awhile; the great thing about menial and poss. all jobs is that you can just fuck'em, leave 'em at will and just grab a new one somewhere else. i mean, if you're willing to temp sell your soul a lot of supermarket/retail business have like 50% turnover and while the wages are shit, it's something to get by on, and you don't have to feel bad about bending over yr superiors either. i'm not that worried -- i shall shortly find out but AT LEAST I HAVE THE BALLS TO DO SO. living w/ parents = suxors. don't do this to yourselves, seriously.

so my suggestion = get a full-time job, like, tomorrow, and then move out the next day.

― John (jdahlem), Saturday, 22 January 2005 07:35 (twenty-one years ago)

easier said than done, asshole. seriously fuck you.

― the first church of latebloomer, friend of plebians and santa (reformed) (latebl, Saturday, 22 January 2005 07:37 (twenty-one years ago)

you don't know me or my situation.

― the first church of latebloomer, friend of plebians and santa (reformed) (latebl, Saturday, 22 January 2005 07:38 (twenty-one years ago)

dude i spent like all of last year not leaving the house!!! ever!!! [but by choice rather than mental disability, i know personally about agoraphobia etc and if that's the case, sorry, but i hope you'll see a shrink because that literally saved 2 of my relatives lives) can u explain yr situation or is that a no-no? anyway my new theory = embrace, accept, if sit. suck, change course. that takes balls! but it's never too late, ya know. just take ACTION. ok i'm going to take a breather and then repost this.

― John (jdahlem), Saturday, 22 January 2005 07:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Hey latebloomer, I know you tried to IM me but it did that thing where i couldn't reply again, check your settings...

― Aaron Hertz (AaronHz), Saturday, 22 January 2005 07:42 (twenty-one years ago)

*does an al jolson dance*

― Aaron Hertz (AaronHz), Saturday, 22 January 2005 07:43 (twenty-one years ago)

i have problems with keeping jobs is all im going to say.

― the first church of latebloomer, friend of plebians and santa (reformed) (latebl, Saturday, 22 January 2005 07:46 (twenty-one years ago)

there is more but you do not deserve to hear it.

― the first church of latebloomer, friend of plebians and santa (reformed) (latebl, Saturday, 22 January 2005 07:46 (twenty-one years ago)

i have problems w/ keeping jobs too! my point is if yr in the low-wage biz i'm not sure how deeply that's going to effect you, because it should be pretty possible to get another one elsewhere. and it might be easier to keep them if you're competely reliant on them for yr well-being. i'm talking to myself here partially (completely?), ya know, so don't take this too personally. we're all in the same boat here, ya know, i've just kinda made it my mission to do whatever it takes to move out within, at the very very latest, my bday (3/31). and i am proud of myself for that! i sympathize dude, just trying to help.

― John (jdahlem), Saturday, 22 January 2005 07:52 (twenty-one years ago)

"swaaaaaaaaaaaneeeeeeeeee howiloveya howiloveya....."

― Aaron Hertz (AaronHz), Saturday, 22 January 2005 07:54 (twenty-one years ago)

anyway, i'm sorry i came across as defensive, its just that this subject is a sore point with me. also at the moment moving out is one of the least of my concerns.

― the first church of latebloomer, friend of plebians and santa (reformed) (latebl, Saturday, 22 January 2005 08:35 (twenty-one years ago)

ok, i just didn't get that vibe inititally. no biggie then.

― John (jdahlem), Saturday, 22 January 2005 08:38 (twenty-one years ago)

anyway i am so going to regret all this when i am in this exact same situation in june

― John (jdahlem), Saturday, 22 January 2005 08:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Nellie I don't think you have much choice but to at least get a part-time job, as I doubt you could survive anywhere working less than say, 20 hours a week with no gov. support - was in a similar situation myself recently, and realised I could only get by from taking a full time job.

Most real estate agencies want 4 weeks bond + 1 week let fee + 2 weeks advance, so that doesn't leave you with much change out of $1000 for even the smallest apartment close to civilization. What city u in?

― Mil (Mil), Saturday, 22 January 2005 09:59 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm in Melbourne, Basically I need to get a full time job, And then after a year I'll be eligible for gov. assistance and then I can go to uni and only have to work part time and (BONUS)be able to live out of home. The course I want to do only has twelve contact hours, so I should be able to get by I think, which makes it a feasible plan. I'd most likely be moving into a share house where the financial constraints are a lot less strict, but still need a regular load of dosh rolling through.
Thanks everyone for their help btw, you've been lovely!

― Nellie (nellskies), Saturday, 22 January 2005 13:30 (twenty-one years ago)

HWLLLO NELLY 0000 WANNA FUCK AND NOT HAE CHILLIN.

― John (jdahlem), Saturday, 22 January 2005 13:34 (twenty-one years ago)

hi i am not taking newmorer drugs on ilx evr thx.

― john dardny, Saturday, 22 January 2005 13:55 (twenty-one years ago)

i havno idea whih is me or whic is not. which is whty...drugged out of mind.

― hane dorset, Saturday, 22 January 2005 14:03 (twenty-one years ago)

they're all you, john, as a mod I can see your IP. Seriously, get some help or I'm going to write your dad.

― teeny (teeny), Saturday, 22 January 2005 17:34 (twenty-one years ago)

i thought we were going to c a cards game???

― johnd, Saturday, 22 January 2005 21:09 (twenty-one years ago)

http://amysrobot.com/files/pynchon/pynchon_simpsons_01.jpg

― Aaron Hertz (AaronHz), Sunday, 23 January 2005 02:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Unless you're moving in with friends, you're going to find it pretty hard to find someone who will lease you a place without a job.

I'm having trouble finding a place in Melbourne now with a part-time job amd a decent rental history.

― Seuss, Sunday, 23 January 2005 05:40 (twenty-one years ago)

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