Rolling American Idol Season 4 thread

[note to Canadian Idol watchers -- this describes Jacob Hoggard, more or less, and look how well he did]

Worst person to get selected: the guy in the rock band. just absolutely terrible.

All of that said. Yes, I watch the show, religiously.

Excellent!

The show is incredibly dishonest, but still, the freak show entertains me.

Those two buddies who appeared to have chromosomal disorders--DUD!

I joked to my wife last night that their rejection should have spirred a cross-country killing spree.

Is it just me, or is Paula slowly turning jaded and mean like Randy/Simon?

The part last night where they suggested that the cannibal chick should eat the twins was awesome.

Other thoughts about the American Idlers

1) Isn't this illegal?
2) Surely it's unethical?
3) Tastes like chicken?

Really, where did she get it? Is this being misreported?

Really, where did she get it? Is this being misreported?

It apparently was for a class of some sort, and was legal and ethical, it seemed.

She said it tasted like bacon.

Right now I'm firmly in wedding ring lady's camp, followed by closely by the 16-year-old who rapped about the streets. Jermaine Dupri needs to get his hands on her so badly.

The balance of "borderline, will this person make it or not?" auditions to "so bad we're supposed to laugh" auditions seems more contrived this season. I mean, yeah, I realize it's not like they just tossed random footage together last season, that they were just as deliberate -- but it feels more deliberate this time. Like there's a secret, Shadow Idol simultaneous with the exoteric American Idol, looking for the next William Hung.

I enjoyed the Snidely Whiplash looking dude who butchered I Put A Spell on You, because I love that song, and I love butchered versions even more than the original.

That 19 year old baptist kid with the dreds will be there at the end. FOX doesn't even try to hide the fact that the show is fake as wrestling anymore...

The Lil' Jon wannabe was brilliant. I used to pretend I didn't like Lil' Jon because I felt I shouldn't like him. After all, all he does is go "HHWHAT??!!??!" and "EEEEYAYUH!!!" over and over again, but I have come to grips with the fact that this is brilliant. Lil' Jon should have an "issues of the day" talk show on MSNBC.

The Baptist kid made me wonder about this guest judge thing, cause "there's no God in rock-n-roll ... or, uh, pop music" was odd reasoning for an American Idol judge. Mark McGrath was one thing, but putting Gene Simmons into a Goldberg machine designed to produce the next Kelly Clarkson seems ... well, it seems like a metaphor I'd use to describe something comically disastrous.

Randy and Paula got pissed at Simon for toying with the guys and with them. The twins, when they left, were pissed because they hadn't wanted to audition together to begin with, and had made a point of dressing differently, registering separately, etc., but the handlers had packaged them as a set.

The little Cyndi Lauper girl can't sing (well she can, but there's such a wobble to her voice). Still, she's cute as pie and will probably get all the way through to the 12.

Identical twin who got shot down in New Orleans but got through with the Donnie Hathaway can sing, but I find his voice annoying.

I promise this the last time I will say anything about this. The girl with the pink cowboy hat, who they told "you're just trying to get on tv" of COURSE that's why she was there. She knew she was horrible, so did the 30 producers who heard her before she got that far. Fake as wrestling...

The housewife who sang Alicia Keys knocked it out.

Yeah, the Cyndi Lauper girl totally got by on cuteness.

The 44-year-old guy who tried to pass himself off as 28 was the show-stealer for me.

"you're just trying to get on tv" of COURSE that's why she was there

Yeah, the judges get so impatient with things like that sometimes that I keep expecting one of them -- not even necessarily Simon -- to bitch about the screeners. Although I suppose that wouldn't be aired. (But isn't the relative transparency -- because it's still more "behind the scenes"-ish than the real contest at the end of the season -- the whole appeal of the early part of the season?)

That's why the obviously faux frustration of the judges at these "bad singers who only want to get on TV" annoys me so much. I understand its part of the formula, but its just fake. Of course, I think the voting is fake too, so do with that what you will.

I kept imagining that the old dude who was pretending to be 28 was Glen Campbell but he didn't sing like Glen.

Fat? Yeah. Ugly? Not really. Lose the glasses, put her in a properly tailored dress - she'll never be "hot" but she'll be presentable, and you can totally work the "normal American gal" angle. And she can really, REALLY sing.

She sure can. And it could be interesting if she gets as far as the live broadcasts; she has one of the three or four best voices, period, of people we've seen so far, but really needs contacts/better hair/better clothes to conform to the "pop star" ideal. I wonder if the public would embrace somebody who sings like she does but isn't all that attractive; Fantasia and Ruben aren't typical star material, either, but the white lady (I don't want to describe her in pure pejoratives, but I honestly can't remember her name) has much more of a euphemistic "image problem" than either of them.

The little Cyndi Lauper girl can't sing (well she can, but there's such a wobble to her voice). Still, she's cute as pie and will probably get all the way through to the 12.

I loved how they made no secret about the fact that she was SO GODDAMN PERKY that she was alienating all her fellow auditions in the lobby.

I stand by what my penis told me.

Because female singers are only worthy if they're boner-inducing.

Her performance SUCKED. She definitely sounded nervous and unsure of herself, and she was missing notes all over the place.

weak night for Carrie - and even though he arguably always does 'his thing' Bo showed he could straddle genres way more easily
(after tonight's urban coke hustler, when's he gonna sing "Life In The Fast Lane" ?)

even when he sings well I don't rate Anthony - too Hallmark

I thought Vonzell was really excellent last week (contra the opinions on this thread) but it still makes me sad to remember Nadia's performance of "As Long As He Needs Me" and wonder...

mega Girls Aloud fan that I am, I recently procured the DVD for Pop Rivals
which added a new fun dimension to that group and the whole music reality TV thing

Yeah, they all were robbed. The final two of Diana and Fantasia was a big letdown.

George was consistently good but never great. During the last four or five weeks he was on the show, he couldn't deliver one single excellent, blowaway performance. Yeah, he still made it to the top five but it was a weak group -- once Jennifer got the boot, it was obvious that Fantasia would win so there's no reason that George couldn't have made it to the final two if he'd excelled in the slightest.

Carrie was great, but she did look nervous, though. And she did miss that last note just a tad.

... and speaking of ballsy, Carrie's following that with AIR SUPPLY? Why didn't she pick a country song? I figured that decision was a no-brainer.

She sounded shaky near the beginning, but nailed it by the end. But she definitely finished last in round two.

I also can't wait to see what insipid Diane Warren-esque ballads have been written for the contestants to slaughter this year. If the tsunami benefit single was any indication of things to come, we're in for some good times.

Bo is a good singer and a natural performer. He'll probably win. I agree with Randy though, he's no rocker. Good singer--yes, and a showman, but there's no edge, none of the desperation that ensures the Stones' 2005 tour is going to sell out stadiums just as they did FORTY YEARS AGO. But, Michael Bolton had a big career too, and that's more who Bo's like. A vocal stylist. I know it will be impossible for anyone on this board to accept, but that's hardly an insult. He could be huge. Bo should also cut his horrible locks. He'll look about ten years younger with short hair. He holds back a bit emotionally too, despite the swagger and leering winks at the audience.

Carrie can really sing, although she needs to stay in her vocal range--the lower register was shaky. She could be a big star, I think, IF she wants to be. Her will seems to be unclear. She hasn't learned to sell onstage the way Bo does so effortlessly. You can see this in her face: Okay, now sing, okay, now emote, okay, now dance--sort of--I really don't approve of dancin' but, okay, well, here goes. So you think for a split second, nah, she ain't got it--then she belts and your hair is blown back. It's all up to her at this point.

Vonzell, like Carrie is a powerful singer who really grabs the song and claims it. But, also like Carrie, she hasn't quite figured out that this is a sales job, the singing is incidental. And in cruel, simon like fashion, she's not as pretty as a Beyonce or a Whitney--she's closer to someone like Celine Dione (although no one is as equine looking as Celine by any means). But Celine can definitely sing. Vonzell's challenge, in the long term, is to cultivate intimacy. If you're not knock out pretty, be more accessible, more loveable in a way. Then when the power of her voice hits, you're defenseless.

I hadn't seen the show since the intitial audition episodes. I was genuinely surprised how good the three finalists were. Simon's management company is feeling really good about this year's crop, as his sunny demeanor last night confirmed.

So it's Bo?

Assuming that this is more than a rumour being used to build hype, it makes me think that Carrie is going home :(

Carrie can really sing, although she needs to stay in her vocal range--the lower register was shaky.

She had never sung in such a low register before last night (I suppose you're referring to the beginning of "Man! I Feel Like a Woman").

Vonzell is good, but she brings a lot of qualities to the table that we've seen on Idol before. Her strongest asset is that she's completely un-diva-like and seems very accessible, very down to earth. But voice-wise -- does anybody think that she's a better singer than, say, Jennifer or LaToya from last season?

American Idol has never had a Bo or a Carrie, which is why I'm rooting for them. Change is good.

Nope, not at all. This doesn't change my opinion that she is one of the better singers in this year's finals.

If this opening number is Bo's debut single, then it sucks. His vocal is no great shakes either, and he doesn't look comfortable singing it.

Bo's "Vehicle" was nice, though. No surprise.

Is she physically incapable of singing in tune?????

Chaki -- results aren't until tomorrow.

Carrie had ENTIRE PHRASES that were iffy, like maybe 55% percent of them.

I HATE HER VOICE SO MUCH.

big fizzle though...
they really make you work for the good stuff -
how many hours did we sit through for the bits that were worth it?

I mean for schlock factor: Anthony, Anwar & KENNY G beat a million bad auditions

that Neko, Scott & George Benson version of "On Broadway" was SLICK

when Nadia got up and rocked "Walk This Way" I was - THAT's what I'm talking bout
that's MY American Idol!

& is Lindsey still hot or what?!

Carrie actually sounded relaxed on her country duet

and Bo was like, FUCK WINNING, I sang with Skynyrd!!!