Best Headline Ever

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Poll: Nation split on Bush as uniter or divider

You just know that some editor at CNN's laughing her ass off right now.

― J (Jay), Thursday, 20 January 2005 02:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Oscar nod pleases Sting

BEVERLY HILLS, California (AP) -- His song "Until" from the Meg Ryan-Hugh Jackman romantic comedy, "Kate & Leopold," has earned Sting his second Oscar nomination in two years.

"In your wildest dreams you could say, 'Well, one day I'll get nominated for a Grammy,'" the 50-year-old singer told The Associated Press Tuesday in a telephone interview from Italy. "But an Oscar seems like kind of a long shot.

"It was a long shot until a year ago. I was nominated last year. Then to be asked again a second year in a row... It's a great honor and a great deal of fun."

Sting was previously nominated for the song "My Funny Friend and Me" from "The Emperor's New Groove."

"I'm fairly competitive," he said. "If I'm entered into a race I'd probably like to win. But at the same time it's not going to alter my life if I don't. I'm deeply honored to be among the company I am."

― Riot Gear! (Gear!), Thursday, 20 January 2005 02:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Yesterday the CNN.com headlines were:

Bush: More Human Intelligence Needed

and

Rice Fields Tough Questions....

both made me snicker with slight delight.

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Thursday, 20 January 2005 02:08 (twenty-one years ago)

I saw "Rice Grilled by Senators" earlier and found it amusing. Still, I clicked the link to see if they were making paella or risotto, but they weren't doing either.

― James Mitchell (James Mitchell), Thursday, 20 January 2005 02:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Gonzales Vows to Uphold Law

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 20 January 2005 02:20 (twenty-one years ago)

those are better though

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 20 January 2005 02:20 (twenty-one years ago)

New Yorkers Face Powerful Coop Boards

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Thursday, 20 January 2005 19:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Today's National Post:
Polygamy coming, Grits fear

― Huk-L, Thursday, 20 January 2005 19:15 (twenty-one years ago)

my favourites from last year:

"Lesbian marries, slams Bush"

"Ronald Mcdonald in Nuclear Bunker Raid"

― Hari A$hur$t (Toaster), Thursday, 20 January 2005 19:22 (twenty-one years ago)

headless body in topless bar

― Snappy (sexyDancer), Thursday, 20 January 2005 19:25 (twenty-one years ago)

My fave collection was the one i posted on this thread:

dig this fun collection of headlines from CNN.com:

? Vice President Cheney leaves hospital | Video
? Peterson jury must decide life or death | Video
? Police: Couple planned to sacrifice children | Video
? CIA's No. 2 official retires amid reports of infighting
? Rapper O.D.B. dies at recording studio
? Schwarzenegger's year and presidential possibilities
? Exhibit celebrates 75 years of Popeye

from 14 nov 2004

― kingfish (Kingfish), Thursday, 20 January 2005 19:27 (twenty-one years ago)

"KEY STONE COPS IT"
In Sounds, when Ian Stewart, the Rolling Stones' keyboard player died.

― everything, Thursday, 20 January 2005 21:09 (twenty-one years ago)

My local newspaper recently had:

TEENAGER HELD OVER BABY

― caitlin (caitlin), Thursday, 20 January 2005 21:16 (twenty-one years ago)

This is dangerously close to "Tonight Show" schtick, but this one has been hanging on the wall of my office for some time now:

http://img132.exs.cx/img132/5756/parachutekids7sd.jpg

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Thursday, 20 January 2005 21:56 (twenty-one years ago)

I think I broke something trying not to lol at my desk.

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Thursday, 20 January 2005 22:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Some Finnish tabloid headlines throughout the years:

The people divided by Lola's breasts

(Lola is a former Miss Finland who took breast implants.)

Wolf bit dog's tongue

(How on earth did they find this out?)

Golfball flew into the mouth of female poet.

(She lost a couple of teeth. Apparently her next collection of poems sold somewhat better than her previous ones due to her fifteen minutes of fame.)

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 20 January 2005 22:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Possibly aprocyphal headlines from the 1950s regarding a famous explorer:

Sir Vivian Fuchs Off To Antarctica

and a few years later, on his birthday:

Sir Vivian Fuchs 70 Today

― noodle vague (noodle vague), Thursday, 20 January 2005 22:30 (twenty-one years ago)

From this week's university paper...

Science news of the week:
WORK EXHAUSTION CAUSED BY WORK

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 24 January 2005 13:37 (twenty-one years ago)

I'll never forget the Cornish Guardian's gripping BOY GETS OFF TRAIN AT WRONG STOP

― Matt (Matt), Monday, 24 January 2005 16:06 (twenty-one years ago)

today's MSN headlines (followed by my comments) include:

- january 24th called worst day of year (oh great! fucking fantastic! thanks for telling me, doctor douchebag!)
- money, is it overrated? (i hope so!)

― peter smith (plsmith), Monday, 24 January 2005 16:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Top piece of hysteria from the Evening Standard's free 'Lite' paper:

KILLER FLU DOOMSDAY PLAN TO EVACUATE LONDON

It can only be a matter of time before the Standard leads with "WE'RE ALL DOOOMED!"

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Monday, 24 January 2005 16:36 (twenty-one years ago)

The best headline ever is still 'Super Cally go ballistic, Celtic are atrocious' though.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Monday, 24 January 2005 16:37 (twenty-one years ago)

'British Left Waffles on Falklands'

Hm, clearly I need to get hit in the mouth with a golf ball.

― Archel (Archel), Monday, 24 January 2005 17:14 (twenty-one years ago)

"Four Kestrels Manoeuvre in the Dark"

― mark grout (mark grout), Monday, 24 January 2005 17:21 (twenty-one years ago)

! Was that a real one? I may have to marry the sub who thought of it if so. (Bigamy's legal in some places right?)

― Archel (Archel), Monday, 24 January 2005 17:22 (twenty-one years ago)

SEARCH CONTINUES FOR MAN WHO HAS GONE MISSING.

I almost fell to my knees and wept for the future of Irish journalism.

― Lara (Lara), Monday, 24 January 2005 17:23 (twenty-one years ago)

"Court OKs Dog Sniff During Traffic Stop"

― eman (eman), Monday, 24 January 2005 17:34 (twenty-one years ago)

A couple of weeks ago in the Daily Record they ran a story about a man who tried to kill his wife by shoving her head into a box of fireworks. While the case was running, they kept referring to him as Rocket Man. The headline the day of his sentencing? "And we think it's gonna be a long long time".

― ailsa (ailsa), Monday, 24 January 2005 18:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Lawmaker wants tiny boxing gloves on roosters

http://www.cnn.com/2005/ALLPOLITICS/01/26/coxboxing.reut/index.html

― Dude, are you a 15 year old asian chick? (jingleberries), Thursday, 27 January 2005 04:17 (twenty-one years ago)

i think hari won with his first one.

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 27 January 2005 04:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Sou Mess!

― holojames (holojames), Thursday, 27 January 2005 18:38 (twenty-one years ago)

five months pass...

Kissinger regrets calling Indian PM Indira Gandhi 'a bitch'

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/default.stm

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Friday, 1 July 2005 18:34 (twenty years ago)

I still have a soft spot for Breast-feed Posh Ogled By A Million Germans from the Daily Star about six years ago (some Stern paparazzo snapped her giving Brooklyn a top-up).

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Friday, 1 July 2005 20:41 (twenty years ago)

Variety's headline from the 20's regarding the declining popularity of cowboy movies: Stix Nix Hix Flix

― M. White (Miguelito), Friday, 1 July 2005 21:02 (twenty years ago)

two years pass...

Gonzales vows to fix Justice's image (AP)

― Hurting 2, Monday, 23 July 2007 23:27 (eighteen years ago)

INMATE SUES PRISON AFTER SWALLOWING PLASTIC FORK has long been a favourite of mine.

― Merdeyeux, Tuesday, 24 July 2007 01:38 (eighteen years ago)

Gonzales vows to fix Justice's image (AP)

at first I thought this was about David Justice coming back to the MLB

― Curt1s Stephens, Tuesday, 24 July 2007 01:42 (eighteen years ago)

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