HI GUYS SORRY

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i woke up on the floor naked with a towel wrapped around me, yes i got drunk took xanax and slurped dollarbillwise the last drops of my coca-cola, from the can, yes. "i" then started like a billion threads at 6 AM [thx mdc]. i was also up til 9 AM wtf. just wanted to say i'm sorry. i am now sincerely staying sober till i move, just for you, just for you. prolly not posting to this fucking forum for awhile eedah. well it might have to cover, till i move, till i move, these other things. aaron hz, i can't stand that guy. he thinks i am nowell and is jealous cuz GR wasn't hard for me. geek.

i'm going to drive to manito now and see about a car, and some medicine. georege tep and teeny, you are in the right now i do declare. teeny we will see a cards game this spring but there will be drugs present. also maybe a sketchy/sketcher/sketching friend of mine or two. sorry them's the breaks. meet me at the stan musial statue.

it is strange, documenting these medicinal problems online. i kinda like it now but it will ruin my life later. funny, that. fuck walgreens for not properly checking uh medication inconsistencies, which is what this is in fact the result of and the whole stuff about alcohol, xanax, merv etc is just a joke.

oh and don't pull any of that dad-calling shit, that's like 3rd grade teacher bullshit.

John (jdahlem), Saturday, 22 January 2005 22:36 (twenty-one years ago)

i just realized i cannot drive to manito BECAUSE THERE IS NO FUCKING CAR. jesus christ.

John (jdahlem), Saturday, 22 January 2005 22:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, seriously, only a third grade teacher would inform parents abt things like bingeing on alcohol and xanax!

Curt1s St3ph3ns, Saturday, 22 January 2005 22:40 (twenty-one years ago)

well i dunno mine did

John (jdahlem), Saturday, 22 January 2005 22:41 (twenty-one years ago)

btw as i've said, alcohol [which i never drink] makes not me do this. merv does. I HAVE NO MERV LEFT [but i might soon IF I GET A GODDAMN CAR]. so chill. or maybe it's the xanax which btw i use only as prescribed so that's impossible. ergo, all of you people are completely out of your minds.

John (jdahlem), Saturday, 22 January 2005 22:43 (twenty-one years ago)

you should not be allowed to use the internet, you fucking lunatic.

cutty (mcutt), Saturday, 22 January 2005 22:46 (twenty-one years ago)

well i like YOU.

John (jdahlem), Saturday, 22 January 2005 22:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Exhibit A:

9:35 AM, 22 Jan 05 trusth is i dreakn a lot b ar and ate a lot of acrid last night deleted by Matt DC (its just getting really fucking annoying)
9:36 AM, 22 Jan 05 what is ginog on. deleted by Matt DC ( )
9:36 AM, 22 Jan 05 drugs ar e really eveil deleted by Matt DC ( )
9:37 AM, 22 Jan 05 CHANCE RUN INS deleted by Matt DC ( )
9:37 AM, 22 Jan 05 i got locked ou i guess or semthing deleted by Matt DC ( )
9:38 AM, 22 Jan 05 this is a lot of fun!! deleted by Matt DC ( )
9:38 AM, 22 Jan 05 i am not sure what do make of it deleted by Matt DC ( )
9:39 AM, 22 Jan 05 I ANT REALLY READ THEO FORUM AT THIS PT BUT MY MOM IS 15 FT AWAY FROM ME AND MY DAD IS A PROSCUTING ATTNY. deleted by Matt DC ( )
9:39 AM, 22 Jan 05 wtf happened deleted by Matt DC ( )
9:40 AM, 22 Jan 05 JONAD D = DEATH OL IX deleted by Matt DC ( )
9:40 AM, 22 Jan 05 IM ADRNK AS FCK I THINK MY MM KNOWS WHO GIVES A SHTI deleted by Matt DC ( )
9:40 AM, 22 Jan 05 i ma like cpl,teklyl fucked up and my modensot know deleted by Matt DC ( )
9:42 AM, 22 Jan 05 i feel warm and cozy deleted by Matt DC ( )
9:42 AM, 22 Jan 05 HI ALL IS ANYONE HERE deleted by Matt DC ( )
9:42 AM, 22 Jan 05 whatch me act completely sober in this thead deleted by Matt DC ( )
9:43 AM, 22 Jan 05 hello what did i talk abot 2 night deleted by Matt DC ( )
9:44 AM, 22 Jan 05 help deleted by Matt DC ( )

Curious George Rides a Republican (Rock Hardy), Saturday, 22 January 2005 22:48 (twenty-one years ago)

and i like you better than b3cky luc4s, you little rascal you. crosspost.

:| (....), Saturday, 22 January 2005 22:49 (twenty-one years ago)

i would actually kinda like to see those threads. but i am glad they are gone.

i did not eat any acid, btw, and never would.

John (jdahlem), Saturday, 22 January 2005 22:51 (twenty-one years ago)

ihttp://mc.clintock.com/second_floor/bookcase_2/ICON-images/flowers_for_algernon.jpg

Curt1s St3ph3ns, Saturday, 22 January 2005 22:52 (twenty-one years ago)

man yesterday really was totally chill too, if it wasn't for you mofos bringing that shit up again it would've been completely out of my brain. now i am craving certain thigns that should not be craved and i have no possibility of acquiring them until tomorrow.

John (jdahlem), Saturday, 22 January 2005 22:53 (twenty-one years ago)

If I could pound a nail into you for every time you falsely claim you don't drink, you'd look like something from a Clive Barker movie.

Curious George Rides a Republican (Rock Hardy), Saturday, 22 January 2005 22:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Don't make him turn you into Scott Bakula, John. He'll do it.

Tep (ktepi), Saturday, 22 January 2005 22:59 (twenty-one years ago)

your poor parents. they must be wondering what they did wrong.

cutty (mcutt), Saturday, 22 January 2005 23:01 (twenty-one years ago)

I WANNA LOVER I DONT HAVE TO LOVE
I WANT A BOY WHO'S SO DRUNK HE DOESNT TALK
HEY WHERES THE KID WITH THE CHEMICALS
I GOTTA HUNGER AND I CANT SEEM TO GET FULL
I LISTEN TO BRIGHT EYES

John (jdahlem), Saturday, 22 January 2005 23:02 (twenty-one years ago)

cutty YOU HURT MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

John (jdahlem), Saturday, 22 January 2005 23:03 (twenty-one years ago)

i am [not] drinking right now george, believe it or not. but just sit back and observe, w/out merv around to push me i will not be posting multiple insane threads.

John (jdahlem), Saturday, 22 January 2005 23:08 (twenty-one years ago)

Can anyone appeal to John without being so fucking sanctimonious? Jesus Christ. His biggest fault is inconsistency and does that really matter?

kansas topography (kansas topography), Saturday, 22 January 2005 23:13 (twenty-one years ago)

seriously, this thread is a hoot in light of all his other posts:

so i started gravity's rainbow the other day

OMG I'm 300 pages into GR and it's so EASY to UNDERSTAND! Maybe I'm BIPOLAR.

Aaron Hertz (AaronHz), Saturday, 22 January 2005 23:14 (twenty-one years ago)

wow, a thread about a book, unreadable, turgid, overwritten, was not a hooty enough, for you. i apologize.

i think your problems may be quite more disturbing than my own.

John (jdahlem), Saturday, 22 January 2005 23:17 (twenty-one years ago)

That made absolutely no sense.

Aaron Hertz (AaronHz), Saturday, 22 January 2005 23:18 (twenty-one years ago)

i am kind of bothered, by the people who, seem to be, stalking me, in one way or another. as soon as one bites the dust, another appears. except this one is immature, stupid, and a complete ass.

John (jdahlem), Saturday, 22 January 2005 23:18 (twenty-one years ago)

http://biblequiz.kconline.com/retard.jpg

joe suzuki-san (deangulberry), Saturday, 22 January 2005 23:20 (twenty-one years ago)

haha

RJG (RJG), Saturday, 22 January 2005 23:23 (twenty-one years ago)

stop

John (jdahlem), Saturday, 22 January 2005 23:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh fuck off, kansas. "Sanctimonious." The kid gets on and floods the board with nearly twenty barely legible threads, denies remembering it in the morning, apologizes, does it again, and bitches that other people are persecuting him.

Shove your "sanctimonious" up your fucking ass. I don't care if he's shooting up, snorting Drano, or shoving a Twinkie up his dick, I just want him to shut up.

Tep (ktepi), Saturday, 22 January 2005 23:27 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm surprised everyone takes his drug and drink talk so seriously. My first instinct is to assume that anyone making "OMG I'M SO FUCKED UP" posts is making it all up.

milozauckerman (miloaukerman), Saturday, 22 January 2005 23:28 (twenty-one years ago)

"retard.jpg"

cutty (mcutt), Saturday, 22 January 2005 23:30 (twenty-one years ago)

wait. i did not bitch. i believe i said "thank you".

aaron, i am sorry, you had so much trouble with gravity's rainbow. but, please, for the love of god, get over it.

John (jdahlem), Saturday, 22 January 2005 23:30 (twenty-one years ago)

milo, is, of course, correct.

John (jdahlem), Saturday, 22 January 2005 23:31 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm not sure anyone is taking it seriously (although the "did I do that? sorry! whoops I'm doing it right now" thing is typical addict behavior; but he's also young). It doesn't really matter. A hundred incoherent, intermittently hostile posts a night is obnoxious whether it's about "I'm so fucked up" or "I love trains!"

Tep (ktepi), Saturday, 22 January 2005 23:31 (twenty-one years ago)

er wait i'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing now.

GOOD: i am not on drugs and ppl will stop pestering me about rehab/threatening to call police
BAD: i am completely insane and ppl will start pestering me about institution/threatening to call police

hm.

John (jdahlem), Saturday, 22 January 2005 23:32 (twenty-one years ago)

You bitched profusely and frequently in the threads you say you don't remember, John, and continue to do so with your whiny adolescent "stop picking on me, stop picking on me, just chill" bullshit.

Tep (ktepi), Saturday, 22 January 2005 23:34 (twenty-one years ago)

ok i've decided. yes, milo, it was all true. i do not, typically, enjoy embarrassing the hell out of myself around people i respect.

John (jdahlem), Saturday, 22 January 2005 23:34 (twenty-one years ago)

tep: you do not bother me. neither does george. for the most part. i don't recall asking you to stop picking on me tho i do recall sincerely trying to explain myself to you.

John (jdahlem), Saturday, 22 January 2005 23:36 (twenty-one years ago)

cutty and dean are like...


Rocky And Bullwinkle.

.ada.m. (nordicskilla), Saturday, 22 January 2005 23:37 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't mind.

RJG (RJG), Saturday, 22 January 2005 23:38 (twenty-one years ago)

John if you liked me and thought I was cool I would leave this board in shame forever and ever.

Aaron Hertz (AaronHz), Saturday, 22 January 2005 23:39 (twenty-one years ago)

milo, btw, you and i will get together sometime, and discuss rotisserrie ball and howard zinn and stuff. and smoke opium. that is not a wish but a command.

John (jdahlem), Saturday, 22 January 2005 23:40 (twenty-one years ago)

aaron, i most certainly do like you, because every human being is a treasure. cool is stretching it a bit though.

John (jdahlem), Saturday, 22 January 2005 23:40 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.the-clitoris.com

Aaron Hertz (AaronHz), Saturday, 22 January 2005 23:42 (twenty-one years ago)

"I'm surprised everyone takes his drug and drink talk so seriously. My first instinct is to assume that anyone making "OMG I'M SO FUCKED UP" posts is making it all up."

this is funny though, because i used to believe it myself, until i started doing drugs, in the house, in the midst of an ILE addiction. try it. you might surprise yourself.

John (jdahlem), Saturday, 22 January 2005 23:44 (twenty-one years ago)

since this is another thread about me, i just want to let you all know, i am feeling blissed out and beautiful.

John (jdahlem), Saturday, 22 January 2005 23:45 (twenty-one years ago)

If you were really sorry, you wouldn't keep doing it.

tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Saturday, 22 January 2005 23:46 (twenty-one years ago)

The best I can hope for is that John's stories will one day make up some future RE-Search book sequel to "Pranksters" a la the Boyd Rice chapter.

donut christ (donut), Saturday, 22 January 2005 23:48 (twenty-one years ago)

otm.

er. well, yeah. see, i honestly didn't intend to but then around like 5-6 AM i mustve experienced ego-death or something. i sweartogod i remember absolutely none of those mattdcdeleted threads. my posts up to that time, from what i can tell, were at least somewhat normal.

you're right though, that i'm not really as sorry about all this, as i'm pretending to be.

John (jdahlem), Saturday, 22 January 2005 23:49 (twenty-one years ago)

xpost

John (jdahlem), Saturday, 22 January 2005 23:49 (twenty-one years ago)

He doesn't see the comedy in posting these cranked out retard threads and then going on ILB to "seriously" discuss Pynchon?
I mean the only thing that would be funnier is Joyce...

Aaron Hertz (AaronHz), Saturday, 22 January 2005 23:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Nah, Pynchon is funnier.

Aaron Hertz (AaronHz), Saturday, 22 January 2005 23:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Incidentally there was absolutely nothing on almost all those threads other than Hari taking the piss out of him. Certainly nothing worth preserving.

Matt DC (Matt DC), Sunday, 23 January 2005 18:57 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah but tep, what yr suggesting is that i should somehow feel deeply irresponsible and apologetic for supposedly using drugs and then posting to ilx!! i think, relatively & hypothetically speaking, locking yourself indoors, taking lots of drugs, and then typing on a computer is pretty fucking [pathetic] responsible! i've certainly seen much worse. so while i'm definitely sorry for being an annoying and in some cases insulting twat, i wasn't doing it to play mindgames or amuse myself or because that's just what i do, i did it because i had no fucking clue wtf i was doing or saying. anyway, if it's any consolation, i don't think most ppl care nearly as much as you seem to.

John (jdahlem), Sunday, 23 January 2005 19:09 (twenty-one years ago)

oh except for teeny who threatened to call my dad, wtf

John (jdahlem), Sunday, 23 January 2005 19:10 (twenty-one years ago)

This is why I've said that your core problem is really your lack of social skills and understanding. I don't care what drugs you do or what happens to you. All I care about is your presence on the screen in front of me, where you're very annoying. The specifics of how and why don't matter. I don't care if you're responsible, sincere, contrite, or anything else. I certainly don't give a two-bit shit what your intentions were, and it takes almost unbelievable levels of self-involvement for you to think I would.

I don't care about your life. I don't believe anyone here does. I just want you to shut the fuck up.

Tep (ktepi), Sunday, 23 January 2005 19:13 (twenty-one years ago)

try glasgow more

RJG (RJG), Sunday, 23 January 2005 19:16 (twenty-one years ago)

You're one of those kids who always ends the semester explaining to the prof why your admission of personal problems should change your grade, aren't you, John?

Tep (ktepi), Sunday, 23 January 2005 19:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Hahaha, my freshman year, one rich kid finally got caught with the contents of a bunch of other people's cars after he thought it would be fun to fire a bunch of bottle rockets into the dorm lobby and then run away. He swore he was just messed up on drugs and would never normally fire Class-C explosives at people and break into their cars. IT WAS THE DRUGS, MAN!!

Curious George Rides a Republican (Rock Hardy), Sunday, 23 January 2005 19:21 (twenty-one years ago)

For some reason, he was expelled anyway. I swear, some university administrators....!

Curious George Rides a Republican (Rock Hardy), Sunday, 23 January 2005 19:22 (twenty-one years ago)

i didn't, generally, give a shit about my grades, or my professors.

i think, you may have some ego problems.

why is it, that so many here, become so oddly obsessed with me. i, do not quite understand it.

John (jdahlem), Sunday, 23 January 2005 19:22 (twenty-one years ago)

rjg, will, u fuck me now

?

John (jdahlem), Sunday, 23 January 2005 19:23 (twenty-one years ago)

BECAUSE YOU'RE GETTING IN THE WAY OF OUR FUN, FUCKHEAD

Curious George Rides a Republican (Rock Hardy), Sunday, 23 January 2005 19:23 (twenty-one years ago)

that's odd, because neither of you seem, like especially fun guys

John (jdahlem), Sunday, 23 January 2005 19:24 (twenty-one years ago)

haha

RJG (RJG), Sunday, 23 January 2005 19:26 (twenty-one years ago)

If I were any less fun, I would be math homework.

Tep (ktepi), Sunday, 23 January 2005 19:27 (twenty-one years ago)

I would be toenail clippings.

Curious George Rides a Republican (Rock Hardy), Sunday, 23 January 2005 19:27 (twenty-one years ago)

John, you post loads of fractured shit (between one and six a.m. in your time zone, but not necessarily ours) and spend the next day name-checking it; excusing yourself, blaming any extrinsic thing readily available, arguing with people largely faultless, making any attempt to insinuate yourself with anybody that'll have anything to do with you (or, alternately) acting like a juvenile dick. Nobody is obsessed with you, but you've made yourself into a tremendous negative presence on the board. Grow the fuck up, little child.

Remy IS THE Snush (x Jeremy), Sunday, 23 January 2005 19:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Ooh! I'll preemptively call myself navel lint.

Remy IS THE Snush (x Jeremy), Sunday, 23 January 2005 19:28 (twenty-one years ago)

I would be the things navel lint is made to do by its parents when it misbehaves.

Tep (ktepi), Sunday, 23 January 2005 19:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Q: Where do q-tips come from?

Remy IS THE Snush (x Jeremy), Sunday, 23 January 2005 19:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Worst Star Trek fanfic ever.

Tep (ktepi), Sunday, 23 January 2005 19:32 (twenty-one years ago)

THE MOST NSFW OF ALL THE NSFW EVER (TINY BROWSER WINDOW TIME)

Curious George Rides a Republican (Rock Hardy), Sunday, 23 January 2005 19:36 (twenty-one years ago)

hi jeremy, i like you. i'm not sure what to say to you other than to repeat that, all that happened over the past week or two, and i was eating a lot of sugar cakes. i fully recognize, that i was a twat, and that is why, i even took the time, right here, to say i am sorry.

and i do think some people are, just a touch, obsessed with me. but maybe that won't be anymore.

John (jdahlem), Sunday, 23 January 2005 19:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Now playing: "How Can I Miss You When You Won't Go Away?"

Curious George Rides a Republican (Rock Hardy), Sunday, 23 January 2005 19:54 (twenty-one years ago)

how old are you?

RJG (RJG), Sunday, 23 January 2005 19:54 (twenty-one years ago)

ts: the dude who repeatedly posts nonsense vs. the dude who repeatedly posts immediately after him that he is posting nonsense

just, shut the fuck up, yourself, george.

rjg, leave, before i permanently, become this.

John (jdahlem), Sunday, 23 January 2005 19:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Can't you just go back to being Nowell instead?

yr adoring public, Sunday, 23 January 2005 20:14 (twenty-one years ago)

can you go back to posting that hilarious pynchon picture instead

John (jdahlem), Sunday, 23 January 2005 20:16 (twenty-one years ago)

all that happened over the past week or two, and i was eating a lot of sugar cakes. i fully recognize, that i was a twat, and that is why, i even took the time, right here, to say i am sorry.

Twinkie defense!

Are we sure that John isn't C4lum's first successful pseud?

nickn (nickn), Sunday, 23 January 2005 20:25 (twenty-one years ago)

The Boy Who Cried Wlof.
-- estela

hahaha

thee music mole, Sunday, 23 January 2005 20:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Hi John
&hearts

Aaron Hertz (AaronHz), Sunday, 23 January 2005 20:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Are we sure that John isn't C4lum's first successful pseud?

We'd have to define 'successful' here.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 23 January 2005 20:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Ok, Photoshop people. We need one with Calum's head on his body, one with the Simpsons Pynchon Question Mark Paper Bag on his head, and one with his head on the body of a 15 year old female mulatto, STAT.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v238/tagluchi/000_01222.jpg

Aaron Hertz (AaronHz), Sunday, 23 January 2005 20:48 (twenty-one years ago)

you are kind of terrifying

John (jdahlem), Sunday, 23 January 2005 20:51 (twenty-one years ago)

boo!

Aaron Hertz (AaronHz), Sunday, 23 January 2005 20:52 (twenty-one years ago)

what was your life like, before john, aaron?

RJG (RJG), Sunday, 23 January 2005 21:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Aaron could be in The Coral

Stevem On X (blueski), Sunday, 23 January 2005 21:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Long days spent reading Gravity's Rainbow and understanding it.
x-post

Aaron Hertz (AaronHz), Sunday, 23 January 2005 21:12 (twenty-one years ago)

good one.

RJG (RJG), Sunday, 23 January 2005 21:14 (twenty-one years ago)

I think it's kind of funny that John seems to think people are "obsessing" about him when he's in everyones face starting so many threads and the like (for the record John: the thread where you pretended yo have been hacked is the "How're you" one aaron pointed you to upthread here. Go look at it).

Its a bit hard to ignore someone who gets in one's face every day going HA HA LOOK AT ME IM WASTED HAHA JEFNDJSFSDFD Oh hey hang on I wasnt doing that it was someone else where am I? HAHAHA YOU ALL SUCK YOU OBSESS OVER ME OMG ITS HAPPENING AGAIN.

You've been on ILX since 2002, way longer than me - and you used to write normal posts. WTF happened to you?

Trayce (trayce), Sunday, 23 January 2005 22:15 (twenty-one years ago)

um, i think i've kind of explained it, like, 37 times, at least.

John (jdahlem), Sunday, 23 January 2005 22:16 (twenty-one years ago)

37 times

in a row?

Aaron Hertz (AaronHz), Sunday, 23 January 2005 22:21 (twenty-one years ago)

No, you really haven't explained it. You've thrown up loads of obfuscating bullshit. What happened to you?

Curious George Rides a Republican (Rock Hardy), Sunday, 23 January 2005 22:26 (twenty-one years ago)

jesus christ george, i really don't know what to think of you either.

John (jdahlem), Sunday, 23 January 2005 22:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Just think of me as someone who wants you to find another sandbox to play in.

"jesus christ george, i really don't know what to think of you either" counts as obfuscating bullshit. So, what happened to you?

Curious George Rides a Republican (Rock Hardy), Sunday, 23 January 2005 22:34 (twenty-one years ago)

John, don't you see whats happening here? For a week or two now, various people have asked things like "whats happening to John" and "whys John acting so insane lately?". Does that make all of them bad, or do you think maybe there's something in it? You behaviour hs changed, become erratic and annoying and it's being (I think) kindlyish pointed out to you.

Trayce (trayce), Sunday, 23 January 2005 22:37 (twenty-one years ago)

STFU EVERYONE OR ILL KICK YOUR A'S

chaki in charge (chaki), Sunday, 23 January 2005 22:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Focusing on John "not acting like John" just makes it easier for him to distance himself from his behavior and tell himself it doesn't really reflect who he is. That's one of the things he keeps doing, cyclically, and it's something he's using to turn criticism into a flaw of the critic.

(I realize I can't separate the way I respond to John from the fact that my brother is a heroin addict, so if I get too hard on him, it's because the behavior is so familiar. But his Teflon karma bullshit of finding a thousand ways to avoid repentance isn't limited to addicts.)

Chaki, bite me.

Tep (ktepi), Sunday, 23 January 2005 22:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah look, I'm dropping it now. I tried to enquire if he was all ok weeks ago, and I've admittedly poked at the dead horse too much now, I'ma drop it, because clearly he wont. Sorry everyohne.

Trayce (trayce), Sunday, 23 January 2005 22:50 (twenty-one years ago)

sorry tep :(

chaki in charge (chaki), Sunday, 23 January 2005 22:52 (twenty-one years ago)

likewise, someone close to me is a heroin addict, and it took a little longer for me to catch on to the patterns/be tough about it than Tep, but I think he's totally otm. I've banned his login, any further discussion about this needs to be taken to the mod board please.

teeny (teeny), Sunday, 23 January 2005 22:52 (twenty-one years ago)


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