Taking the J out of J Date

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So I signed up for J-date but I'm not a J, do you think people will be angry?

― george s cool, Saturday, 24 September 2005 22:32 (twenty years ago)

That depends. Are you circumcised?

― pr00de, where's my car? (pr00de), Saturday, 24 September 2005 22:42 (twenty years ago)

Ha, J-Date is hilarious!

About Me

i,m a 26 years old woma seeking for a honest man that will love me as whom i,m.I STUDY COMPUTER SCIENCE IN A UNVERSITY OF NIGERIA.I,M A WELL LOOKING WOMAN .

― Jordan (Jordan), Saturday, 24 September 2005 22:51 (twenty years ago)

i think they'll take your money either way.

― the happy smile patrol (Jody Beth Rosen), Sunday, 25 September 2005 00:08 (twenty years ago)

(jdate, i mean, not the actual dates. but i'm sure they'll take your money too.)

― the happy smile patrol (Jody Beth Rosen), Sunday, 25 September 2005 00:09 (twenty years ago)

you know those Js!!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Sunday, 25 September 2005 01:16 (twenty years ago)

Js be datin'

― yuengling participle (rotten03), Sunday, 25 September 2005 02:44 (twenty years ago)

I don't think anyone will be angry with you, but I'm also not sure if people who specifically go to a Jewish dating service will be interested in dating non-Jews through the service.

― Hurting (Hurting), Sunday, 25 September 2005 02:47 (twenty years ago)

Hmm, perhaps I should start a niche dating site for goys who like J's and vice versa.

― george s cool, Sunday, 25 September 2005 03:13 (twenty years ago)

I don't think anyone will be angry with you, but I'm also not sure if people who specifically go to a Jewish dating service will be interested in dating non-Jews through the service.

I'm not a JDater myself, but it seems as though everyone else here in LA is. There are TONs of gentiles up in that bitch, so it pretty much already serves the function george describes above.

― rogermexico (rogermexico), Sunday, 25 September 2005 03:21 (twenty years ago)

aw, now I feel a bit dumb for not joining J-date after meeting a really (really) cute and interesting guy a few months ago (who was in fact on a J-date at the time (that wasn't, er, working out.)) I guess there's still time for my gentile ass to take advantage, but it feels so wrong and I just don't think I can do it. (and that all people in LA are doing it isn't exactly a convincing enough argument for me...). bah.

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Sunday, 25 September 2005 05:55 (twenty years ago)

I *guess* you could do it and not be Jewish, but the potential dates would probably be wondering why/if you have a Jewish fetish or something.

― scout (scout), Sunday, 25 September 2005 06:19 (twenty years ago)

I have never J-dated!

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Sunday, 25 September 2005 07:36 (twenty years ago)

are there many of these ethnic particularist dating websites?

― DV (dirtyvicar), Sunday, 25 September 2005 10:49 (twenty years ago)

don't know about ethnic, but for christian singles there's...

http://www.equallyyoked.com/

― the happy smile patrol (Jody Beth Rosen), Sunday, 25 September 2005 11:17 (twenty years ago)

I thought this was dating for Japanese, like J Rock/Pop. Silly me.

― nathalie, a bum like you (stevie nixed), Sunday, 25 September 2005 11:53 (twenty years ago)

Any ladies with a J-fetish, please come my way.*

*(sorry, joking. I already got a J.)

― Hurting (Hurting), Sunday, 25 September 2005 15:27 (twenty years ago)

I have never J-dated!

Wuss. Er, wait.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 25 September 2005 15:31 (twenty years ago)

there was a great article in Ha'aretz a few weeks back, interviewing this American non-J woman who had written a guide for others like her who wanted to date J-men. Then there were loads of letters in accusing her of being some kind of anti-semite who was trying to deprive J-women of J boyfriends.

I'm not really from an ethnicity myself, so I find the idea of people only wanting to date within their own a bit hard to fathom. But hey, it takes all sorts.

― DV (dirtyvicar), Sunday, 25 September 2005 16:04 (twenty years ago)

I get Jewish dating emails all the time. I'm not sure if they're all J-Date, but they all feature big bold intros like "OY!" or "HAVE A SHMEAR!" and it makes me slightly irritated.

― Not That There's Anything Wrong With Jewish Culture Or Anything, Sunday, 25 September 2005 16:11 (twenty years ago)

some of my best friends are daters

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Sunday, 25 September 2005 16:14 (twenty years ago)

Yeah, I heard about that book. I think what's more questionable about it is the commodification of a certain ethnicity of man or woman (I don't think it'd fly so well if a non-Asian man wrote a guide to dating Asian women, talking about how submissive and eager to please they are or something like that)

― Hurting (Hurting), Sunday, 25 September 2005 16:24 (twenty years ago)

I should say I have dated people who are Jews, but I've never tried J-date. I thought you had to be Jewish.

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Sunday, 25 September 2005 18:03 (twenty years ago)

(I don't think it'd fly so well if a non-Asian man wrote a guide to dating Asian women, talking about how submissive and eager to please they are or something like that)

this is heading into Men-Who-Exclusively-Date-Asian-Women territory.

― DV (dirtyvicar), Sunday, 25 September 2005 20:23 (twenty years ago)

I don't think it'd fly so well if a non-Asian man wrote a guide to dating Asian women, talking about how submissive and eager to please they are or something like that

This is a popular misconception, I think. Certainly, many asian women, at least the ones I know, are very demanding of their men. In fact, I have to restrain myself from classifying the nagging and yapping I've witnessed as "downright bitchy." Not to stereotype any more than I already have, but American-Japanese women, in particular, have the uncanny ability to snap out of the blue and sever all ties with cold efficiency.

I hope this isn't coming across racist, but I realized these feelings just a few weeks ago when I was asked what kind of women I find sexiest. I said that I really think Asian women are hot. The immediate response (from the woman who asked me) was, "Oh yeah, guys find that submissive stuff hot; I forgot about that," almost dismissively as if I had some power-issue sex related problem. My immediate feeling was that this person only knows about Asian women from movies or something and likens them all to geisha girls.

― Hello Moto, Monday, 26 September 2005 02:29 (twenty years ago)

AND WHERE DO YOU KNOW THEM FROM?

― SPARTACUS TWATTERY (I AM LOGGED ON), Monday, 26 September 2005 02:31 (twenty years ago)

Around my immediate environments throughout my history, starting in kindergarten with a girl I had a crush on.

― Hello Moto, Monday, 26 September 2005 02:35 (twenty years ago)

DID YOU TAKE PICTURES OF HER WITH LEGOS GOING IN THE BAD PLACE?

― SPARTACUS TWATTERY (I AM LOGGED ON), Monday, 26 September 2005 02:37 (twenty years ago)

No, but she moved away before I could declare my love. In 2nd grade, I became fixated on a Korean girl and we were basically best friends until she saw me eating a slim jim. She never talked to me again. And she actually embarrassed me in front of the whole lunch table, so I just got up and moved down to the other end where I met two guys who became my friends up through about 7th grade. I didn't get the opportunity to date an Asian woman until college, however, where I made up for lost time, and afterwards, when I moved to New York, where I really made up for lost time.

― Hello Moto, Monday, 26 September 2005 02:45 (twenty years ago)

In case this would become an ongoing trolling experience on a thread about J-Date, I'd just like to say that this writer has got it down, from my experience:

Myth of submissive Asian women ensnares the unsuspecting
Stereotypes notwithstanding, in the Japanese families I know, Mom controls everything in the household from finances to appliances, and it's only a matter of time until she beats the fight out of Dad.

...The naïve Japanese "English student" needs a certain determined pluck to travel abroad after hearing that naïve Japanese girls are the juiciest targets for robbery. This girl really wants out, and she's not likely to settle submissively in some man's prison.

Asian women who survive in the West — amid all of the propaganda that we are victims ripe for the taking — have learned to make good use of every weapon in our grandmothers' arsenals.

Be that steely persistence or soft kisses.

― Hello Moto, Monday, 26 September 2005 03:06 (twenty years ago)

Back to the J-Date, why is it more acceptable than my dad muttering "birds of a feather flock together" when a cousin of mine had a non-white boyfriend?

― DV (dirtyvicar), Monday, 26 September 2005 11:11 (twenty years ago)

I think it depends on how observant they are. I really doubt that Orthodox Jews are going to seriously date gentiles. ("serious" meaning leading to marriage.)

― tokyo nursery school: afternoon session (rosemary), Monday, 26 September 2005 12:27 (twenty years ago)

although I guess they go to frumster rather than J Date

― tokyo nursery school: afternoon session (rosemary), Monday, 26 September 2005 12:49 (twenty years ago)

Any dating site that advertizes with the phrase "HAVE A SHMEAR!" should really qualify as one of the most terrifying things in the universe.

― The Ghost of Leave The Pap Until Date Five (Dan Perry), Monday, 26 September 2005 12:54 (twenty years ago)

Back to the J-Date, why is it more acceptable than my dad muttering "birds of a feather flock together" when a cousin of mine had a non-white boyfriend?

I don't see why it's "unacceptable" for people to want to date someone from within their own cultural background. Anyway, all dating sites support this sort of selectivity anyway, even if they don't make it their raison d'etre.

― o. nate (onate), Monday, 26 September 2005 13:31 (twenty years ago)

I've never J-Dated or dated a J!

(except myself)

― Jordan (Jordan), Monday, 26 September 2005 13:40 (twenty years ago)

I've never J-Dated or dated a J!

I've dated one! It was not enjoyable. But she gave amazing head... only 4 times in 1 year, however... it seems once she knew I really liked her, she no longer felt inclined to "perform," I guess. It was a real bummer because I thought she obviously got good at giving head by practice and she was all about giving it before I really was even interested in her (and I did not ask for it). It was a lure to catch a fish, I guess. I should've stayed disinterested and soaked up the oral sex. Because once I fell for her, she wouldn't do it whether I asked or not.

― And Half of You Probably Know Her, Too, Monday, 26 September 2005 14:26 (twenty years ago)

dan so hilariously otm

― s1ocki (slutsky), Monday, 26 September 2005 14:34 (twenty years ago)

"mind if i do a j?"

― geoff (gcannon), Monday, 26 September 2005 15:08 (twenty years ago)

wheres the men seeking men part of jdate??????????????

― phil-two (phil-two), Tuesday, 27 September 2005 01:28 (twenty years ago)

Because the point is to MAKE J-BABIES! It was explained to me, briefly, by the cute j before the talking/flirting ensued. Something like: "Did you know that Jewish people only make up (x-percentage) of the North American/World population?" Me: "No, I did not know that." Him: "Yeah, y'know, therefore, J-date." Me: "okay then, wow." :(

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Tuesday, 27 September 2005 01:35 (twenty years ago)

If I were drunk I'm sure I would've said, "Maybe I have a J-uterus!" and, possibly, "Let's check!"

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Tuesday, 27 September 2005 01:38 (twenty years ago)

http://www.frumster.com

― phil-two (phil-two), Tuesday, 27 September 2005 01:41 (twenty years ago)

wayyy more fun

― phil-two (phil-two), Tuesday, 27 September 2005 01:46 (twenty years ago)

They do get right to the point at least.

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Tuesday, 27 September 2005 01:49 (twenty years ago)

I'm looking for a Sephardic Traditional man, between 18 and 30, in New York or Israel.

― phil-two (phil-two), Tuesday, 27 September 2005 01:50 (twenty years ago)

good luck finding that on frumster, phil

― tokyo nursery school: afternoon session (rosemary), Tuesday, 27 September 2005 02:17 (twenty years ago)

although I guess they go to frumster rather than J Date

OMG, I thought you were making that up ... there really is a frumster, wow (although after thinking about it for a few seconds, I'm not as surprised as I was).

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Tuesday, 27 September 2005 02:22 (twenty years ago)

i'm pretty sure my cousin met her husband on jdate or something similar

― YOU ALMOST STABBED YOURSELF IN THE FACE LIKE A HULKAMANIAC (jaxon), Tuesday, 27 September 2005 02:26 (twenty years ago)

GUESS WHAT, TAKE OUT THE WORD "ASIAN" AND THAT SENTENCE IS PERFECT

― YOU ALMOST STABBED YOURSELF IN THE FACE LIKE A HULKAMANIAC (jaxon), Tuesday, 27 September 2005 02:27 (twenty years ago)

Maybe you should stop letting women walk all over you Jason.

― Hurting (Hurting), Tuesday, 27 September 2005 02:30 (twenty years ago)

My cousin met her husband in 1999, otherwise I would swear they met on Frumster.

― tokyo nursery school: afternoon session (rosemary), Tuesday, 27 September 2005 02:33 (twenty years ago)

My frum cousin did meet her husband on the internet, I know that much (this was also in 1999). I'm not sure if it was on frumster though.

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Tuesday, 27 September 2005 02:43 (twenty years ago)

yeah, six million of us were killed in the j-holocaust!

― faith popcorn (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 27 September 2005 02:51 (twenty years ago)

my friend's friend started jdate and is making a TON of money!!!!

― phil-two (phil-two), Tuesday, 27 September 2005 02:56 (twenty years ago)

thing is, education is an important part of the jewish tradition, but it's also partially responsible for why the "community" isn't regrowing. for starters, all those smart middle-class jewish kids in secular schools learn about birth control and are conscientious enough to take it to heart; also, they're pretty career-minded and if they have any kids at all, it's usually not more than one or two. so it's up to the orthodox jews to raise gigantic families.

― faith popcorn (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 27 September 2005 03:01 (twenty years ago)

xpost - (Yes, Jody, I know, but I didn't know the exact (very small) percentage - my :( was both to the shocking truth of that and to the (obviously more minor) disappointment in knowing that I was, er, unqualified.)
I live in a neighbourhood with a lot of hassidic jewish families - they all have five kids, it seems, so someone's doing the job, yeah. But that's also part of another ball of wax (and I think there's a thread on it too.)

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Tuesday, 27 September 2005 13:15 (twenty years ago)

all those smart middle-class jewish kids in secular schools learn about birth control and are conscientious enough to take it to heart

Yeah, and we also learn secularism.

― Hurting (Hurting), Tuesday, 27 September 2005 13:28 (twenty years ago)

the real problem isn't education, it's simply Jews marrying out of the faith and not raising their kids jewish. I'm going to adopt dozens of babies and raise them jewish, even though I don't practice and am an athiest. Just for the hell of it.

― Dan Selzer (Dan Selzer), Tuesday, 27 September 2005 13:37 (twenty years ago)

I don't want to sound too censorious to george, but why sign up for a service that is supposed to be a resource for Jews and Jewesses to meet? Whatever you may think of the ethnic or religious impulse that makes them want to reproduce a diminishing 'tribe, surely you can understand their right to it and not muck up the works. It seems kinda like wasting their time, not to mention your own. If you dig the Shebrews that much can't you mention that on other dating sites?

― M. White (Miguelito), Tuesday, 27 September 2005 13:57 (twenty years ago)

I'm not a JDater myself, but I play one on the internets.

― PappaWheelie B.C., Tuesday, 27 September 2005 16:53 (twenty years ago)

three years pass...

my aunt just signed her sister up for J Date like out of the blue, and she has a date now, but she's not jewish. but the guy knows that. !

― Surmounter, Tuesday, 31 March 2009 15:27 (seventeen years ago)

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