Ever accidentally had to PANHANDLE because you lost your wallet?

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It's a strange thing. You're in the middle of nowhere just change shy of being able to afford a Metrocard. You ask some stranger, feeling like a nuissance, but surely they will understand. To your shock, they treat you like a common bum. You try again. You have become invisible to people with money on their person. You are now considered a homeless person. You walk 40-some blocks to avoid further embarrassment.

― Richy Rich, Thursday, 13 October 2005 16:41 (twenty years ago)

yes, the pain of homelessness in a nutshell.

― strng hlkngtn: what does it mean? (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 13 October 2005 16:45 (twenty years ago)

once after a long flight i had to wash the morning scum off my face in a restroom and i thought, yes, this must be how the homeless feel on a daily basis. then i bought a $9 cinnabon.

― strng hlkngtn: what does it mean? (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 13 October 2005 16:45 (twenty years ago)

This happened to Andrew Farrell last I was in London! He just rang Tom and took the money off us, though, no panhandling really, unless that counts.

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Thursday, 13 October 2005 16:46 (twenty years ago)

It is just odd to realize that as soon as you ask for a quarter, people look at you with disgust. I suppose it would help if you were in an Armani suit.

― Richy Rich, Thursday, 13 October 2005 16:47 (twenty years ago)

i spent an afternoon in a supermarket carpark picking up change off the floor one time. i had my wallet, there was just no money in it, or in my bank account.

― emsk ( emsk), Thursday, 13 October 2005 16:52 (twenty years ago)

About 20 years ago they invented these things called ATM cards which may help out in cases like these. Failing that most credit card companies have cash withdrawal services which operate at most ATM machines.

― gygax! (gygax!), Thursday, 13 October 2005 16:54 (twenty years ago)

Jump the turnstile never pay the toll
Doo wa diddy bust with the pre-roll

― Old School (sexyDancer), Thursday, 13 October 2005 16:54 (twenty years ago)

Gygax about 40 years ago they invented these little pockets in wallets that people tend to use to store their ATM and credit cards.

― nabisco (nabisco), Thursday, 13 October 2005 16:58 (twenty years ago)

(Hahaha Nabisco pwns so that I don't have to.)

What I want to know is this: how do you accidentally panhandle? "Oops, I tripped over that rock and found I'd begged for $2.47"?

― The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Thursday, 13 October 2005 17:00 (twenty years ago)

Gygax, it looks like you missed the premise of the thread. Nabisco offers a clue in case you wish to piece it together like Sherlock Holmes, rather than simply read the title again.

― Richy Rich, Thursday, 13 October 2005 17:01 (twenty years ago)

What I want to know is this: how do you accidentally panhandle? "Oops, I tripped over that rock and found I'd begged for $2.47"?

I mean, you didn't set out to panhandle. You merely asked a nice-looking stranger if he had an extra quarter and before you could explain with your usual wit and charm, his expression changes into utter contempt and he says, "NO" without hesitation. You suddenly realize there is nothing you could say that wouldn't sound like a typical panhandler line, so you just sit there absorbing his disdain in an uncomfortable silence.

― Richy Rich, Thursday, 13 October 2005 17:05 (twenty years ago)

Or you say, "Fuck you, asshole, I just lost my wallet and don't need shit from someone with the empathy of a dead rabbit."

― The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Thursday, 13 October 2005 17:06 (twenty years ago)

Dudes, he says he's "change-shy" of a Metrocard.

Is he specifying his complete liquid net-worth or merely change in his pockets?

At any rate, let this be a lesson to us all to carry along a guitar, harmonica, zither or drumsticks+tub and learn the chords/verse melody/lyrics to "Baker Street".

― gygax! (gygax!), Thursday, 13 October 2005 17:07 (twenty years ago)

this actually happened to me once when i was in school. i'd changed before i took a cab back to campus from visiting my parents, and realized that i'd left the money for cabfare in my other pair of jeans. nobody i knew was around, but i was obviously enough a college student. i explained my dilemma to some guy on the street and he paid my cab fare for me, which was really nice of him.

― Juulia (julesbdules), Thursday, 13 October 2005 17:07 (twenty years ago)

I wish I thought of that. I just felt so... naked, I guess. Pathetic, really. This pathetic attitude stayed with me so that I totally came across as a panhandler on my next attempt.

― Richy Rich, Thursday, 13 October 2005 17:07 (twenty years ago)

I used to have this one "vintage" jacket that totally got me that reaction. I'd start up to someone to ask for directions or something and get the canthelpya look.

― nabisco (nabisco), Thursday, 13 October 2005 17:09 (twenty years ago)

I mean, I wish I thought of saying the "fuck you asshole" stuff that Ghost of Black Elegance suggested above.

― Richy Rich, Thursday, 13 October 2005 17:10 (twenty years ago)

haha, i'm soooo sorry! i just noticed the full title (rather than the trunc'd version).

― gygax! (gygax!), Thursday, 13 October 2005 17:15 (twenty years ago)

but even still, brushing up on some arias and acapella hits aimed at evening commuters is the soundest advice on this thread.

― gygax! (gygax!), Thursday, 13 October 2005 17:17 (twenty years ago)

A guy at Ashby BART was doing the campest acoustic version of Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious I've ever ever heard.

― Lion-O (nordicskilla), Thursday, 13 October 2005 17:19 (twenty years ago)

"campest" seems superfluous.

― The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Thursday, 13 October 2005 17:20 (twenty years ago)

DOWNLOADING HAS TURNED YOUR BRAIN INTO SWISS CHEESE

― Old School (sexyDancer), Thursday, 13 October 2005 17:22 (twenty years ago)

try and imagine how fey you have to be to out-fey JULIE FUCKING ANDREWS

― Lion-O (nordicskilla), Thursday, 13 October 2005 17:23 (twenty years ago)

http://images.art.com/images/PRODUCTS/Regular/10101000/10101663.jpg

― The Ghost of Don't Need To Imagine Anything Here (Dan Perry), Thursday, 13 October 2005 17:24 (twenty years ago)

http://www.chaosgeneration.com/camp_movie400.jpg

― Lion-O (nordicskilla), Thursday, 13 October 2005 17:26 (twenty years ago)

Is there a thread about our favorite panhandlers/buskers?

― emilys. (emilys.), Thursday, 13 October 2005 17:30 (twenty years ago)

There is one I revived about a year ago (I revived a thread today about Baker Street based on busking) about a sax busker doing Eno's "Here Come The Warm Jets" which was fantastic.

― gygax! (gygax!), Thursday, 13 October 2005 17:33 (twenty years ago)

Hm, I've been lucky. The only time I lost my wallet (left it in a cab) I had previously shoved some change into the bottom of my purse, which I kept looped over one arm. So I could still get on the PATH even tho wallet was in backseat of speeding taxi. Otherwise I would TOTALLY have been begging at the corner of 6th and 9th. Although, come to think of it I might ask at a deli or something before I asked passers-by, especially if it's an establishment I've used repeatedly & I feel comfy with the employes there.

Rich, I think you're onto something when you say the pathetic-ness began to stick to you. You're far from home with no safety net, really, and you get the first taste of a kind of helplessness; the same thing happens when you haven't just lost your wallet, you're actually POOR and hungry and out of options. But it's worse, obv, b/c safety isn't just one subway fare away. My mom realized while running errands the other day that she'd forgotten her debit card and run out of cash and not brought her cell phone and then suddenly couldn't find my dad at the store and she was dressed up and 40 miles from home so walking there not an option. She said the slide into panic was pretty easy, it takes practice to be able to review your options & do the logical thing.

― Laurel (Laurel), Thursday, 13 October 2005 17:45 (twenty years ago)

I once drove up to a gas station, filled up my tank, walked over to the window to pay, and immediately realized that I didn't have my wallet.

But because since I apparently live in MAYBERRY RFD, the cashier told me that I could go home and retrieve my wallet. She did write down my plate number, just in case.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Thursday, 13 October 2005 18:46 (twenty years ago)

I did that and they made me leave behind my cell phone and my jewellery. I was shocked - I have an honest face, dammit. People often offer to pay for things when I can't find my money, well, once or twice. I remember standing in the supermarket queue having my card rejected and choosing between bananas or bread or toilet paper and the person behind me stepping in to pay. This is why New Zealand small towns are lovely.

― isadora (isadora), Thursday, 13 October 2005 18:59 (twenty years ago)

i've never panhandled, but once i was so broke that i couldn't afford the single-ride metrocard to get home (i was employed, but i had drained my last paycheck), and i had to walk several miles in the pouring rain, with no umbrella. in uncomfortable shoes no less!

― glasgow coma score (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 13 October 2005 19:06 (twenty years ago)

Ditto, JB. I walked from some Irish bar in the 70s to the PATH at 34th St, but it was a nice night. Le sigh of whatever the opposite-of-nostalgia is. It's good to be solvent.

― Laurel (Laurel), Thursday, 13 October 2005 19:27 (twenty years ago)

this is one of those things i find myself wondering from time to time. would i develop a method to asking for money? certainly explaining my entire situation would not help much. you can't keep someone's attention that long & they may not find you believable. so what would your method be? just asking?

the last time i was in minneapolis, there was this guy in front of a liquor store that asked for money to "spell the word beer" & he had his quarters arranged into letters. I think when we went into the liquor store, he had "BE" & by the time we came out, he had almost all of the second "E."

― kelsey (kelstarry), Thursday, 13 October 2005 19:34 (twenty years ago)

but isn't a metrocard only like $2? just busk!!!!! sing britney spears

(i once had to sing 'wonderwall' to a friend of mine so he'd lend me £10 to take a train home 70 miles away)

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 13 October 2005 21:02 (twenty years ago)

thankfully, the worst i've ever been is being out of cigarettes and having to bum one from a random smoker. which i've done only twice in my life (b/c i've been lucky and b/c even if i forget/run out of smokes i'm too embarrassed to bum cigs).

and now 10-to-1 i've jinxed myself and will lose my wallet somewhere tonight.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Thursday, 13 October 2005 21:23 (twenty years ago)

Ditto, JB. I walked from some Irish bar in the 70s to the PATH at 34th St, but it was a nice night.

that's nothing. the blocks go by very quickly in midtown.

― glasgow coma score (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 13 October 2005 21:58 (twenty years ago)

Hey, that's two miles, give me some credit! No, really I know that isn't very far, I just hate to walk. And it was DARK OUT, so I couldn't read as I went.

― Laurel (Laurel), Thursday, 13 October 2005 22:06 (twenty years ago)

Something that is lame and annoying is that even if you are pretty good at what you do, asking for money is *way* more lucrative than busking, which seems unfair somehow.

― Gravel Puzzleworth (Gregory Henry), Thursday, 13 October 2005 22:10 (twenty years ago)

I once took a train home and got into the station about 5 miles from my house to find that I only had 50 cents on me. It was pouring rain and I tried my atm card in a machine only to find that it hadn't been activated yet (I had just received it and the old one expired). So I called various people I knew for a ride with a phone card and no one answered their phones.
So I started walking in the rain with all my bags. I went a couple miles and came across a cafe and a bus stop that would take me the rest of the way. I asked the barista if I could borrow 50 cents for the bus and she looked at me all wet and with all my bags and gave it to me out of the tip jar. I waited for the bus for 15 minutes when two girls drove by in a car. They sort of waved and I thought "friends! I'm saved."
The car came back around and I hopped in back to discover that I didn't know these people at all, they just felt sorry for me and wanted to give me a lift.
They drove me home. They were both named Mary.
I went to the cafe the next day and put 10 bucks in the tip jar. The guy working there was just like wtf.

― wmlynch (wlynch), Thursday, 13 October 2005 22:29 (twenty years ago)

.... and then that's how i made my living on haight st.

― corey c (shock of daylight), Friday, 14 October 2005 04:15 (twenty years ago)

I was swimming and diving in a place called Sculpture Falls near Austin (which was the last time I remember Sculpture Falls having enough water in it to do any diving, or swimming for that matter), and my friend lost his car keys out of his pocket. We dove and dove, but no keys turned up. So we walked, wet, shirts stuck to our bodies, to a mall about 3/4 mile down the highway. There I talked a nice lady into giving us a dollar each -- twice as much as we needed for a bus. The bus took us within a block of his place, which we did not know then. He never found his keys, but we each made fifty cents.

― Paunchy Stratego (kenan), Friday, 14 October 2005 04:24 (twenty years ago)

Oh, I forgot, both our wallets were in the car. I guess that was important to the story.

― Paunchy Stratego (kenan), Friday, 14 October 2005 04:24 (twenty years ago)

Panhandlers make more because people are paying them to go away - buskers are just there, completely unthreatening and not bothersome (unless they really suck).

― Are You Nomar? (miloaukerman), Friday, 14 October 2005 04:24 (twenty years ago)

Because this idea is not worth starting an actual joke thread of its own:

http://www.walleyecentral.com/TWA/images/logo_250oval.jpg

Ever accidentally had to go to the panhandle because you lost your walleye?

― Hurting (Hurting), Friday, 14 October 2005 04:45 (twenty years ago)

I going to be a pan handler tomorrow

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Friday, 14 October 2005 06:13 (twenty years ago)

I going to be a pan handler tomorrow

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Friday, 14 October 2005 06:15 (twenty years ago)

I going to be an art handler tomorrow

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Friday, 14 October 2005 06:18 (twenty years ago)

i figure the best thing to do is just be a real fucking panhandler and get the money quick. sit there with a cup and bug people, y'know. i mean, it'll eventually work.

there's a social economy to these things and i thnk its easier to go with the flow than try to assert yr. so special and difft. than everyone else looking for some change.

i was actually sorta pissed this once when this guy gave me a sob story and i gave him a few bucks and he complained as though i didn't hear how terrible his story was. look dude -- its late, i'm going home, and yeah its horrible but i'm not like i have much to give anyway. i mean, i know it seems callous but there's a transaction involved -- they ask for help, you give it. full stop.

i pissed off a panhandler another time too because i complimented him on his shtick (which involved listening to the conversation at our table at a donut shop and then breaking in effectively to make the point that we should give him money) and he was like in "i don't have a shtick" denial mode.

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Friday, 14 October 2005 09:11 (twenty years ago)

i was in london with roxymuzak once and this dude came up to us and was just about to ask us for money i think, or maybe he was a big issues person, but before he said anything he just went "AHH, FUCK IT" and walked off!! we must have really looked as if we had no spare change.

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 14 October 2005 09:34 (twenty years ago)

It works for people all the time on Amazing Race!

..but like if you stand at the bus stop and say "I lost my wallet - can someone PLEASE pay my fare so I can get home?" works alot better than standing on any corner and saying "Can you spare a dollar (so I can buy a jug)?"

― when something smacks of something (dave225.3), Friday, 14 October 2005 11:13 (twenty years ago)

If you use a gun it works much better.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Friday, 14 October 2005 12:46 (twenty years ago)

Use the right tool for the job!

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Friday, 14 October 2005 12:46 (twenty years ago)

In these situations being a hot girl helps, having a scouse accent doesn't.

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Friday, 14 October 2005 13:01 (twenty years ago)

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