Dear ILE, how do I open my box?

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I received a lovely box of some sort of polished wood for Christmas. It used to open and close. Now it is just closed. I should just be able to open the lid, but I fear some sort of strange vacuum has come into effect, and I can't open it anymore. What did I do? What can I do? I would much rather have a wooden thing to put things in than a big lump of highly polished wood sitting on my desk.

― Bill (bill), Monday, 13 March 2006 13:38 (twenty years ago)

put it in the fridge.

― The Man Without Shadow (Enrique), Monday, 13 March 2006 13:40 (twenty years ago)

Is it one of those puzzle boxes which open in a special way, or just an ordinary box on which the lid has become stuck?

It may have warped with humidity - try putting it in the airing cupboard (or somewhere else warm)

― C J (C J), Monday, 13 March 2006 13:41 (twenty years ago)

Conflicting opinions! To heat or to cool...

I say drill a wee tiny hole in the bottom of it.

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Monday, 13 March 2006 13:43 (twenty years ago)

Apply the second law of thermodynamics.

― estela (estela), Monday, 13 March 2006 13:43 (twenty years ago)

Don't open the box! Take the money!

― C J (C J), Monday, 13 March 2006 13:43 (twenty years ago)

it's a normal box

― Bill (bill), Monday, 13 March 2006 13:49 (twenty years ago)

Is it a big box or a small box?
What would you put in it if you could open it?
Is it pretty?
Can I go home now?

― chris moran (chris moran), Monday, 13 March 2006 14:21 (twenty years ago)

Are you going to take the risk of closing it again if you get it open this time?

― StanM (StanM), Monday, 13 March 2006 14:26 (twenty years ago)

if you sit next to the box and philosophise for long enough, the box automatically opens.

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 13 March 2006 14:30 (twenty years ago)

management people call this "thinking outside the box".

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 13 March 2006 14:30 (twenty years ago)

Is there a cat in it? If so I think it's best not to look.

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Monday, 13 March 2006 14:34 (twenty years ago)

find the clitoris

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 13 March 2006 14:38 (twenty years ago)

There's always one joker.

― Frogm@n Henry, Monday, 13 March 2006 14:49 (twenty years ago)

I need a box

Also,

http://www.theage.com.au/ffximage/2005/02/05/pt_berkhoff_0602_ent-lead__200x149.jpg

http://www.omelete.com.br/imagens/cinema/news/atores/terence_stamp.jpg

http://www.scifi-universe.com/upload/personnalites/grand/ian_holm.jpg

― disdroobe, Monday, 13 March 2006 14:51 (twenty years ago)

What's an airing cupboard?

― Maria :D (Maria D.), Monday, 13 March 2006 15:55 (twenty years ago)

I think you meant to say "how do I shot box?"

Maria, it's a cupboard, often the one in which the hot water boiler is situated, in which newly laundered clothes are left to "air".

― I'm thinking six, six, six (noodle vague), Monday, 13 March 2006 15:58 (twenty years ago)

http://www.schomakers.com/AppleEurope/5C006-04766labelB.jpg

― mark grout (mark grout), Monday, 13 March 2006 16:03 (twenty years ago)

I am now trying to think up jokes along the lines of 'there's a jack in my box'. I am not succeeding wildly.

― Bill (bill), Monday, 13 March 2006 18:57 (twenty years ago)

BTW, 4 hours in airing cupboard, and no change. I think it may be time for the fridge.

― Bill (bill), Monday, 13 March 2006 18:58 (twenty years ago)

Going to get a beer, are you?

Good plan.

― C J (C J), Monday, 13 March 2006 19:07 (twenty years ago)

The person who gave it to you isn't called Pandora, is she?

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Monday, 13 March 2006 19:09 (twenty years ago)

If it was Pandora Maxwell, there's probably nothing inside it.

― C J (C J), Monday, 13 March 2006 19:11 (twenty years ago)

well, if anything odd happens in NW1 tonight, I think we have an explanation

― Bill (bill), Monday, 13 March 2006 19:11 (twenty years ago)

Don't worry, it's just Gwyneth Paltrow's head.

― nabisco (nabisco), Monday, 13 March 2006 19:12 (twenty years ago)

Is alls that's in there.

― nabisco (nabisco), Monday, 13 March 2006 19:13 (twenty years ago)

How does this box close? Does it have a hinged lid? Does it have a lock? Have you just forgotten to unlock it? Did you spill superglue inside it?

― C J (C J), Monday, 13 March 2006 19:16 (twenty years ago)

hinged lid, that's all.

― Bill (bill), Monday, 13 March 2006 19:17 (twenty years ago)

maybe it's just 'unhinged'! Oh dear.

― Bill (bill), Monday, 13 March 2006 19:17 (twenty years ago)

So no locks? Not one? two? three?

I still think the refridgerator is the best idea so far.

― Dave NSFW (dave225.3), Monday, 13 March 2006 19:18 (twenty years ago)

Squirt some WD40 onto the hinges.

― C J (C J), Monday, 13 March 2006 19:19 (twenty years ago)

no locks

― Bill (bill), Monday, 13 March 2006 19:19 (twenty years ago)

Maybe there's a little tiny leprechaun hiding inside the box, hanging onto the lid for grim death to prevent you opening it.

― C J (C J), Monday, 13 March 2006 19:21 (twenty years ago)

Damn leprechauns. it is not like they ever even use their gold for anything. Little misers.

― Paul Kelly (kelly), Tuesday, 14 March 2006 09:40 (twenty years ago)

speculum nigga
like normal folk
don't get fancy with it...

― LeCoq (LeCoq), Tuesday, 14 March 2006 10:23 (twenty years ago)

that wasn't incorrect form either
i practice OPEN HAIKU
it's french, bitch

― LeCoq (LeCoq), Tuesday, 14 March 2006 10:25 (twenty years ago)

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