Melbourne goes insane (a Commonwealth Games thread)

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http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/41442000/jpg/_41442276_flyingtram_416.jpg

the ceremony continued with a boy being led on a magical adventure by a toy duck, featuring scenes evoking Australia's cultural heritage.

Rubber duckie, you're the one...

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 15 March 2006 15:30 (twenty years ago)

hahahahahahaha

it still has the cable grabbers attached! YOU HAVE WINGS MR TRAM!

― sunny successor (katharine), Wednesday, 15 March 2006 15:36 (twenty years ago)

"I can FLYYYYYYY!"

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 15 March 2006 16:57 (twenty years ago)

just like australia, the little tram has the ability to be free but wont let go of the cables.

those poor poor bastards

― sunny successor (katharine), Wednesday, 15 March 2006 17:20 (twenty years ago)

I'm waiting for all the Melbournians to wake up and start trying to explain themselves.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 15 March 2006 17:30 (twenty years ago)

http://www.smh.com.au/ffximage/2006/03/14/BatonDamianWhite_060314103356960_wideweb__300x449.jpg

― sunny successor (katharine), Wednesday, 15 March 2006 17:48 (twenty years ago)

what?

http://www.abc.net.au/commonwealthgames/2006/galleries/opening/images/10.jpg

― sunny successor (katharine), Wednesday, 15 March 2006 17:49 (twenty years ago)

ooooh. its flying over a map. NOW it makes sense.

http://www.abc.net.au/commonwealthgames/2006/galleries/opening/images/05.jpg

― sunny successor (katharine), Wednesday, 15 March 2006 17:50 (twenty years ago)

that photo looks oddly katamari

― sunny successor (katharine), Wednesday, 15 March 2006 17:50 (twenty years ago)

Dive-bombing ballerinas, anyone?

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/41442000/jpg/_41442690_ballerinas_getty416.jpg

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Wednesday, 15 March 2006 17:58 (twenty years ago)

ooooh. its flying over a map. NOW it makes sense.

Sense, I fear, is an elastic term here.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 15 March 2006 18:00 (twenty years ago)

from the BBC:

"A boy takes part in an amusing and magical adventure which includes a giant koala and a toy duck"

ned, you forgot the giant koala

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/41442000/jpg/_41442764_help_getty220.jpg

help! is right

― sunny successor (katharine), Wednesday, 15 March 2006 18:03 (twenty years ago)

the ceremony continued with a boy being led on a magical adventure by a toy duck, featuring scenes evoking Australia's cultural heritage.

Rubber duckie, you're the one...

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), March 16th, 2006.

Australia's cultural Heritage? So that would be.........what?
"That ain't a knife, this is a knife"?

― dr lulu (dr lulu), Wednesday, 15 March 2006 20:41 (twenty years ago)

Australia's cultural heritage is a bilby screwing a red kangaroo and out pops a Carlton coldie, mate.

― ratty, Wednesday, 15 March 2006 20:54 (twenty years ago)

And flying trams, apparently.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 15 March 2006 20:54 (twenty years ago)

not to mention the toy duck

― dr lulu (dr lulu), Wednesday, 15 March 2006 20:56 (twenty years ago)

Ron Barassi walks on water.

Tra-la-la-la-la Amen.

― mentos, Wednesday, 15 March 2006 21:06 (twenty years ago)

Ron Barassi? Is that the big gay footballer dude?

― dr lulu (dr lulu), Wednesday, 15 March 2006 21:13 (twenty years ago)

haha, I got tix for the rehearsal for this from work, I could've blown all the secrets for the ILX massive on tuesday. I probably should've!

― electrogrouse (haitch), Thursday, 16 March 2006 00:39 (twenty years ago)

Oh man, no offense to my homosexual buddies who are infinitely more successful and better lookin' than I am and can drink me under the table, but...none more gay, none more gay.

― Mike Stuchbery (Mike Stuchbery), Thursday, 16 March 2006 00:43 (twenty years ago)

I manage to bite my tongue all the way until the singing of the national anthem.

WHY ARE WE A CITY OF MIMES AND TRANSVESTITES?

― Mike Stuchbery (Mike Stuchbery), Thursday, 16 March 2006 00:44 (twenty years ago)

and flying trams and ducks! it's great isn't it!

― electrogrouse (haitch), Thursday, 16 March 2006 01:27 (twenty years ago)

I watched House instead, innit.

Mind you the fireworks were farking cool.

― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 16 March 2006 01:35 (twenty years ago)

http://www.theage.com.au/ffximage/2006/03/16/yarra1_gallery__258x400.jpg

― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 16 March 2006 02:51 (twenty years ago)

I watched House instead too. The Commonwealth Games only means transport hassles to me, though the ease with which I travelled into work this morning was curiously deflating!

― Tim Finney (Tim Finney), Thursday, 16 March 2006 07:38 (twenty years ago)

ha, same here actually! then again I do not have to board a tram, though.

― electrogrouse (haitch), Thursday, 16 March 2006 09:16 (twenty years ago)

A flying tram?

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Thursday, 16 March 2006 10:55 (twenty years ago)

That wacky House. He just wont tow the line.

― sunny successor (katharine), Thursday, 16 March 2006 13:34 (twenty years ago)

House was a repeat, so screw that!

Typically rubbish ceremony because it is the Commonwealth Games ("OK, the Queen has said something...what do you mean that's it") but Ron Barassi not-quite-walking on water saved the night.

I didn't watch any of the games today apart from five minutes of Lawn Bowls (Swaziland getting over Canada). I presume Australia beat up some Cook Islanders good in the swimming pool?

― ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!! (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Thursday, 16 March 2006 14:27 (twenty years ago)

Actually, Scotland whupped some Aussie arse.

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Thursday, 16 March 2006 15:25 (twenty years ago)

Competitive sport is all about greed. 'Oooh, oooh, I must be first!' 'Hoooway, I beat you!' 'Boohoo, I didn't come first, boo hoo!'. Take away the skill factor and it's a bunch of selfish little kids fighting for attention - they should all be sent to their rooms for some time out.

― ratty, Thursday, 16 March 2006 20:37 (twenty years ago)

Newsflash, Melbourne: trams are nothing special. The whole world has trams! Also, you lie: your trams do not fly. They just go 'ching ching' and almost run over various nice people visiting from Sydney.

― ratty, Thursday, 16 March 2006 20:38 (twenty years ago)

From the time I was about, oh, eight, I thought that athletics was the daggiest fuckin' thing on earth and I've yet to see proof that I should think otherwise. Bunch o' self obsessed freaky motherfuckers.

― dr lulu (dr lulu), Thursday, 16 March 2006 20:52 (twenty years ago)

Lawn Bowls was good today!

Why do we have Swimming in prime time when we can have Lawn Bowls instead? Lawn Bowls is way better than Swimming.

― ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!! (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Friday, 17 March 2006 13:41 (twenty years ago)

Allow me to point out that I am an honourary New Zealander for the duration of the games.

― Sa-, Saturday, 18 March 2006 00:31 (twenty years ago)

Yeah the swimming is SO dud. It must be even worse for people who actually attend, with the smell of chlorine in your nostrils, sound bouncing around, wet floor... and the certian knowledge that no matter how fast those people can swim, the average fish can kick their arses all the way back on to dry land. The fish are SO impressed by the human race's pathetic attempts to swim fast, I'm sure. They probably joke about it.

― ratty, Saturday, 18 March 2006 01:47 (twenty years ago)

Exactly. We'd kick fish arse at Lawn Bowls.

― ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!! (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Saturday, 18 March 2006 01:54 (twenty years ago)

Now lawn bowls is the only sport worth watching in my view. Ain't no fish can come close. Basically, any sport involving the hands and the brain is totally an occasion for humans to kick the arses of all the other species.

― ratty, Saturday, 18 March 2006 02:05 (twenty years ago)

FIRST MENTION OF AN ATHLETE HAVING "A HEART THE SIZE OF PHAR LAP'S"!!!

― ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!! (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Saturday, 18 March 2006 03:53 (twenty years ago)

And which athlete was it?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 18 March 2006 08:13 (twenty years ago)

Never you Americans mind. You fuckin killed Phar Lap, you're not getting anywhere near this guy.

― ratty, Saturday, 18 March 2006 08:45 (twenty years ago)

Darrell Eastlake once ate a horse the size of Phar Lap!

― ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!! (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Saturday, 18 March 2006 12:00 (twenty years ago)

Malaysia is bringing out the meterosexual weightlifters now.

― ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!! (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Saturday, 18 March 2006 12:01 (twenty years ago)

Damn! I missed that.

― ratty, Saturday, 18 March 2006 23:30 (twenty years ago)

Wow, they're playing Basketball in BENDIGO.

Was the Glen Waverley High School High School gym booked out or something?

― ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!! (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Sunday, 19 March 2006 10:47 (twenty years ago)

Dennis Cometti says BENDIGO IS A BIG BASKETBALL TOWN!

― ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!! (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Sunday, 19 March 2006 11:04 (twenty years ago)

The squash chick has got some HARD NIPPLES there! 0_0

― ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!! (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Sunday, 19 March 2006 11:23 (twenty years ago)

Erm, I'm watching the Women's Weightlifting now...and Darrell Eastlake is screaming "GREAT SNATCH!"

― ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!! (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Sunday, 19 March 2006 11:35 (twenty years ago)

"Nothing feels as good as a nice snatch!", quoth Dean Lukin regarding a Female Weightlifter.

― ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!! (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Sunday, 19 March 2006 11:42 (twenty years ago)

Victory or defeat - it all comes down to the snatch.

― ratty, Sunday, 19 March 2006 20:41 (twenty years ago)

PAPUA NEW GUINEA WINS THE GOLD!!!

― ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!! (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Monday, 20 March 2006 08:11 (twenty years ago)

It's the clash of the titans in Lawn Bowls tonight! Australia versus NORTHERN IRELAND! (And we're killin' 'em!)

― ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!! (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Monday, 20 March 2006 12:18 (twenty years ago)

Nine has got MICK MOLLOY on Lawn Bowls commentary tonight! Bloody 'ell.

― ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!! (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Tuesday, 21 March 2006 11:23 (twenty years ago)

you are joking. are you? i'm turning it on.

― haitch (haitch), Tuesday, 21 March 2006 11:38 (twenty years ago)

swimming? i LOATHE swimming as a spectator sport, which makes its uquibtiousness during olympics/comm games time all the more annoying. so deathly dull.

― haitch (haitch), Tuesday, 21 March 2006 11:40 (twenty years ago)

I was not joking but Mick was far too quiet for my liking.

― ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!! (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Tuesday, 21 March 2006 12:09 (twenty years ago)

We only see all that swimming because Australia wins it. If only we were good at ping pong, now there's a sport a man can watch with dignity.

― ratty, Tuesday, 21 March 2006 12:31 (twenty years ago)

There's some cute Asian girlies in table tennis that I like to see do things with a ping pong ball...

Oh dear, I'm just plummeted to the depths of Australian footballers' humour.

― ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!! (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Tuesday, 21 March 2006 12:36 (twenty years ago)

Some former basketball player is about to win a medal in the high jump despite only taking up the sport in January. The commentators are aghast that he's not even wearing proper high jump shoes.

Contrast with the Indian syncronised swimmer on Sunday, who only took up the sport in January and appeared to be drowning during much of her last-place routine.

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Wednesday, 22 March 2006 10:07 (twenty years ago)

Thought all you convicts would appreciate this:

http://www.melbourne2006.com.au/NR/rdonlyres/27F9E410-C054-4DD3-8693-2EEE67298402/0/20060317B_RonBarassi250.jpg

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Wednesday, 22 March 2006 18:42 (twenty years ago)

He's flipping off the Union Jack with a prosthetic.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 22 March 2006 20:02 (twenty years ago)

But with a prosthetic what Ron? hmmm?

― dr lulu (dr lulu), Wednesday, 22 March 2006 20:07 (twenty years ago)

Contrast with the Indian syncronised swimmer on Sunday, who only took up the sport in January and appeared to be drowning during much of her last-place routine.

I wish I had seen this, it sounds hilarious. But as they aren't australian and winning, it wouldnt have been shown anyway, damn the TV here.

― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 23 March 2006 02:59 (twenty years ago)

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/41472000/jpg/_41472316_marshallfoster203.jpg

Scotland won teh lawn bowling! That's 10 golds! It's such a refreshing change reading about Scottish triumphs on the sports pages and I like to think it's giving the country a hint of a feel good factor. Shame it's all about proper athletes for the rest of the tournament.

Also, Canada have started winning things instead of coming 3rd and we've slipped down the medals table as a result.

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Thursday, 23 March 2006 11:02 (twenty years ago)

I imagine there are far more events now then there have been in the past, sorry to pish in Scotland's chips

― Dadaismus, the Male Poster (Dada), Thursday, 23 March 2006 11:06 (twenty years ago)

fucking hell i am sick of Ray wosname commentating.
SHUT THE FUCK UP

― mullygrubbr (bulbs), Thursday, 23 March 2006 11:36 (twenty years ago)

LOUDY TOURKY WILL YOU MARRY ME

― ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!! (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Thursday, 23 March 2006 13:25 (twenty years ago)

No.

― Loudy Tourky (Hello Sunshine), Thursday, 23 March 2006 13:41 (twenty years ago)

PLZ

― ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!! (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Thursday, 23 March 2006 13:44 (twenty years ago)

Oh, all right then. Since you asked nicely.

http://diving.lindev1.creatop.com.au/Content/Image/Loudy%20Tourky.JPG

― Loudy Tourky (Hello Sunshine), Thursday, 23 March 2006 14:14 (twenty years ago)

hahaha! Closing ceremony features Dame Edna Everage and 1000 Dame Edna impersonators forming themselves into the shape of a giant pair of Dame Edna specs!

― ailsa (ailsa), Sunday, 26 March 2006 10:17 (twenty years ago)

the dame edna thing was pretty cool. but what was the point of the duck? i don't get it.

― gem (trisk), Monday, 27 March 2006 00:49 (twenty years ago)

Hold on, did the tram fly away?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 27 March 2006 00:57 (twenty years ago)

i only saw a tiny bit of the closing ceremony (the bits with a galaxy of dame ednas and also an inexplicable duck), i'm afraid i'm unable to comment on the tram's whereabouts.

― gem (trisk), Monday, 27 March 2006 01:09 (twenty years ago)

I think it flew to Sydney? I saw it cruising through the Cross last weekend.

― ratty, Monday, 27 March 2006 01:11 (twenty years ago)

trying to pick up people or another tram?

― gem (trisk), Monday, 27 March 2006 01:14 (twenty years ago)

I think it had gone off the rails - I looked inside and the lights were on but there was no-one inside, you know what I mean?

― ratty, Monday, 27 March 2006 01:17 (twenty years ago)

How sexygorgeous were all those Indian women doing the crazy bollywood production dancing? Loved those outfits and the music.

I didnt watch much of the rest, tho.

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 27 March 2006 01:18 (twenty years ago)

I'd like to see an opening ceremony where giant cockroaches flood the arena and run up and down the aisles while a giant can of Mortein hovering in the sky, tries to spray them.

― ratty, Monday, 27 March 2006 01:24 (twenty years ago)

yep and if we're going with quirks of australian 'history' as the theme, you could even use one of those old pump aerosol cans. instead of millions of dame ednas there could be millions of louie the flies all over the place

― gem (trisk), Monday, 27 March 2006 01:36 (twenty years ago)

The closing ceremony had its dodgy moments (I fear Dame Edna has reached her useful end) but at least unlike Sydney 2000 there was no Michael Knight, no c-grade celebs walking on and doing nothing but take up space, no opportunistic undergraduate antics of the Peter Garrett variety, and there were only enough elephantine egos to fill the available space.

Agree totally with the comments re the dreaded Ray. Eddie, I never thought I'd ever say this but there was one absolute natural for the part Ray played, and he flashed into your view every time you had a shave.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Monday, 27 March 2006 01:36 (twenty years ago)

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