Blackburn Rovers will not win the Intertoto: English football off-season thread

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Colin resigns from Sheff Utd! Barton arrested for lamping Dabo! Mourinho receives police caution for dog-related misdemeanours! Best offseson ever.

― Dom Passantino, Wednesday, 16 May 2007 08:35 (nineteen years ago)

I want to be a fourth official. Easiest job ever!

― Grandpont Genie, Wednesday, 16 May 2007 08:38 (nineteen years ago)

Nah, fifth official is where it's at.

― The Wayward Johnny B, Wednesday, 16 May 2007 08:47 (nineteen years ago)

warnock leaving not really a surprise. ranieri now favourite for city job? spurious rumour about jenas to everton, cant see it though. when do newcastle start buying and selling?

― 696, Wednesday, 16 May 2007 08:56 (nineteen years ago)

I meant to say I was surprised to hear a woman providing the commentary on the MOTD highlights of Liverpool v Charlton - a first in the UK? It occurred to me it might be difficult for a woman to act as 'excited' when commentating on football for fear of not being taken as seriously as male counterparts but then again a woman playing it up as much as Motson or Pierce ("Ohhhhhh it's in!" etc.) might actually prove popular with many male viewers for certain other reasons.

― blueski, Wednesday, 16 May 2007 09:03 (nineteen years ago)

now that's not going to please Mike Newell!

― Grandpont Genie, Wednesday, 16 May 2007 09:06 (nineteen years ago)

Her first one was a few weeks ago. There was a minor debate about, in which Dave Bassett was heard to say something or other prefixed with "I'm not sexist but..."

― Michael Philip Philip Philip philip Annoyman, Wednesday, 16 May 2007 09:07 (nineteen years ago)

Newell was presumably too apoplectic with rage to speak at that point.

― Michael Philip Philip Philip philip Annoyman, Wednesday, 16 May 2007 09:07 (nineteen years ago)

Oi, we haven't even had the Cup finals yet.

― Pete W, Wednesday, 16 May 2007 09:25 (nineteen years ago)

lol@cupfinal. this isnt the 1980s, didnt you get that leaflet from Sky?

― 696, Wednesday, 16 May 2007 09:28 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/sport/football.html?in_article_id=449195&in_page_id=1779

Re: woman

― Michael Philip Philip Philip philip Annoyman, Wednesday, 16 May 2007 09:30 (nineteen years ago)

I thought you were joking about Jose's dog. Persecution!

― Pete W, Wednesday, 16 May 2007 09:34 (nineteen years ago)

I’m completely relaxed about women presenting football shows. Women like Clare Tomlinson are very good.
But commentating is different. You must have an understanding of the game and the tactics and I think in order to do that you need to have played the game.

Yes, who could forget the glittering professional careers of Motson, Green, Parry etc etc

― DJ Mencap, Wednesday, 16 May 2007 09:54 (nineteen years ago)

I think he's referring to the mic mastery of Mark Bright.

― Dom Passantino, Wednesday, 16 May 2007 09:55 (nineteen years ago)

I love the Intertoto.

What is a toto, and are they normally kept seperate?

What I like about it is, you can qualify by dint of sheer fair play.

― PJ Miller, Wednesday, 16 May 2007 10:32 (nineteen years ago)

unlucky Villa

does Africa have it's own Intertoto? there could be some jokes in that. hard to tell tho.

― blueski, Wednesday, 16 May 2007 10:33 (nineteen years ago)

A "toto" is the term used in Europe to mean "football pools". "Intertoto" comes from the fact that the original organisers of the tournament were "toto" companies from many different nations.

xp

― Dom Passantino, Wednesday, 16 May 2007 10:33 (nineteen years ago)

oh that also explains 'tote' as in Totesport

― blueski, Wednesday, 16 May 2007 10:36 (nineteen years ago)

Fair Play league is a straight UEFA place, no Intertoto involved.

― Michael Philip Philip Philip philip Annoyman, Wednesday, 16 May 2007 10:39 (nineteen years ago)

If your country gets drawn, obv

― Michael Philip Philip Philip philip Annoyman, Wednesday, 16 May 2007 10:39 (nineteen years ago)

I'm perversely excited by Championship football next season, if only because our win rate (in theory) ought to be so much higher.

― Just got offed, Wednesday, 16 May 2007 11:16 (nineteen years ago)

"charles n'zogbia wants his backside smacked"

- freddie shep

― r|t|c, Wednesday, 16 May 2007 11:29 (nineteen years ago)

the mourinho thing is so brill too. "run yorkie! run and don't look back!"

― r|t|c, Wednesday, 16 May 2007 11:35 (nineteen years ago)

great pic of the offending mutt on cover of the standard.

― Pete W, Wednesday, 16 May 2007 11:36 (nineteen years ago)

http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2007/05_01/DogMourinhoLL_468x267.jpg

not this one is it

His other dog, a German shepherd called Gullit, after the former Chelsea player and manager, is not thought to be a suspect.

lol

― r|t|c, Wednesday, 16 May 2007 11:39 (nineteen years ago)

seriously tho, this is exactly that ride or die 4 my homiez spirit that makes him so good. if i found the dog now i would probly harbour it from the pigs just for jose.

― r|t|c, Wednesday, 16 May 2007 11:44 (nineteen years ago)

Curses! No UEFA glamour for plucky Villa. I suggest a lot more cropping next year.

― PJ Miller, Wednesday, 16 May 2007 12:20 (nineteen years ago)

Haha, Allardyce's first action as Newcastle manager is sacking Titus Bramble. This may harm the lad's England chances.

Surly Stevie C manager of the year, again

― Michael Philip Philip Philip philip Annoyman, Wednesday, 16 May 2007 12:28 (nineteen years ago)

LONDON (Reuters) - Chelsea manager Jose Mourinho struck out at the Metropolitan Police, Battersea Dog's Home and the animal welfare authorities after he was arrested for refusal to give his dog up. "I look at Sir Alex Ferguson, and every week he is walking his dogs, I see the labrador, the poodle, the bull mastif, the authorities never touch him. But when Jose Mourinho walks his dog, they have to get involved. Is that fair?"

― Matt DC, Wednesday, 16 May 2007 12:42 (nineteen years ago)

Firs the champion's league semi, then the league title, now his dog. Jose just can't stop losing things this year...

― Hello Sunshine, Wednesday, 16 May 2007 12:43 (nineteen years ago)

So Mourinho is spying on Ferguson with Wenger's telescope now?

― blueski, Wednesday, 16 May 2007 12:43 (nineteen years ago)

And can anyone think of a joke involving "winalot"?

― Hello Sunshine, Wednesday, 16 May 2007 12:45 (nineteen years ago)

West Ham?

― Mark C, Wednesday, 16 May 2007 15:29 (nineteen years ago)

My dog has no nose.

West Ham?

No, he Winalot of his own accord.

(I think that just about clinches me a spot in the UEFA Top Comedy Intertoto.)

― PJ Miller, Wednesday, 16 May 2007 15:56 (nineteen years ago)

Fair play, you gave it your best shot

― DJ Mencap, Wednesday, 16 May 2007 16:14 (nineteen years ago)

ok so benni mccarthy, angling for a move to chelsea (or maybe man u, or...well, you know)

mdc says that the top4 wont go for strikers of his age.

― 696, Thursday, 17 May 2007 09:15 (nineteen years ago)

Jose Mourinho has changed his tune on referee Graham Poll. The Chelsea boss, who has been particularly critical of the soon-to-retire referee, has now said: "It is a great quality to decide when to stop. Only intelligent people can do it. He has stopped at the top and I wish him a great future in his new life."

how much of a votre-face is this, really? It could be interpreted as meaning "he's been making some really, really rub refereeing decisions lately, but *at least* he's decided to stop rather than *keep on* making them"

Chelsea defender John Terry is in a strop. He is ready to hand in a transfer request because he is not being offered the same money as Andriy Shevchenko or Michael Ballack

I would be too in his sitn - he's been playing better than those two *and* he's captain, why shouldn't he be earning as much?

― Grandpont Genie, Thursday, 17 May 2007 09:45 (nineteen years ago)

because it's easier to keep Terry at Chelsea than it is to keep the other two there.

― blueski, Thursday, 17 May 2007 09:48 (nineteen years ago)

I like the BBC's 'where are the players of the '94 cup final' now thing. i'd forgotten Jakob Kjeldberg even existed.

― blueski, Thursday, 17 May 2007 11:04 (nineteen years ago)

Allardyce is gunning for Ben Haim. Diouf in talks to leave. Bolton will be dismantled over the summer!

Also, goodly number of Arsenal squad set to leave. No significant names in my eyes, save maybe Flamini, but most importantly, Baptista should be gone. As though that was a surprise.

― Gukbe, Thursday, 17 May 2007 11:22 (nineteen years ago)

lol@arsenal 'exodus'

i usually use the word 'clearout'

― 696, Thursday, 17 May 2007 11:25 (nineteen years ago)

how much of a votre-face is this, really?

Votre face, mon cul.

― Michael Jones, Thursday, 17 May 2007 11:31 (nineteen years ago)

i thought these kids were their glorious future

― blueski, Thursday, 17 May 2007 11:31 (nineteen years ago)

yes it looks like the glorious future of baptistia, ljungberg, almunia, aliadere and reyes was but just a dream. theyll have to make do with oldtimers like walcott, eboue, djourou, fabregas, adeabyor, van persie and toure now

― 696, Thursday, 17 May 2007 11:34 (nineteen years ago)

with a squad like that Arsenal should be able to mount a serious challenge for the 3rd place spot next season.

― blueski, Thursday, 17 May 2007 11:35 (nineteen years ago)

lol at them considering bendter as their new 20 goal a season marksman

― Dom Passantino, Thursday, 17 May 2007 11:41 (nineteen years ago)

I like English football. I like English people. I even like English food

― 696, Friday, 18 May 2007 11:07 (nineteen years ago)

I'm getting cup final nerves. Shall I stock up before the game?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/teams/c/chelsea/6667839.stm

― Pete W, Friday, 18 May 2007 13:10 (nineteen years ago)

When does the transfer window open again? June or July?

― Will M., Friday, 18 May 2007 13:57 (nineteen years ago)

June 1

― Pete W, Friday, 18 May 2007 13:59 (nineteen years ago)

Skipping 202 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

i remember ron atkinson just would not shut up about martins whenever he was on telly

wonder if that came up in court

― r|t|c, Friday, 29 June 2007 14:56 (eighteen years ago)

yes I remember that vividly.

in one game when he came on for Inter in the last 20 minutes, it was Martins and I think Kallon (was that the guy's name) up front, and Ron was like "oooh Clive I tell you this is gonna be GREAT....they're gonna stick the two big lads up there and really GO FOR IT") etc etc, this was amid lots of jizzing about Martins, I think he might have even said "old fashioned centre forward" or something.

― Ronan, Friday, 29 June 2007 15:00 (eighteen years ago)

oh RTC i would do that but that's like admitting defeat. i want someone to buy him even if it's for like a pint of lager and a traffic cone or something.

― Will M., Friday, 29 June 2007 16:16 (eighteen years ago)

still roffling at "meeting you with a Moutaouakil"

― Just got offed, Sunday, 1 July 2007 00:39 (eighteen years ago)

Just because, my new favourite quote ever, from a Birmingham City board:

March 1st 1997 took my son to his first away game, he learned that day what being a Mighty Blues fan was all about, We were loosing 1-0 but won 2-1, Blues fans had a fight amongst themselves, got chased by a mob of grimsby. Then we chased a mob of grimsby. The day had everything.

― Michael Philip Philip Philip philip Annoyman, Monday, 2 July 2007 15:37 (eighteen years ago)

Another Spurs signing, another non-left-winger...

― Will M., Thursday, 5 July 2007 16:12 (eighteen years ago)

So, Tevez to Man Utd on loan with an option to buy is what The Times thinks.

― aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, Thursday, 5 July 2007 16:25 (eighteen years ago)

I read in The Guradian that Fernando Torres is very intelligent. This surprised me, because I have always thought he was a total dur-brain.

I imagine he will be enjoying a few trips to the cash and carry with the other Merseyside-based Spanish players.

Still no news on the Coco-Rio saga?

― PJ Miller, Thursday, 5 July 2007 17:42 (eighteen years ago)

More courtroom battles over the Tevez saga?
http://football.guardian.co.uk/News_Story/0,,2120117,00.html

― Nasty, Brutish & Short, Friday, 6 July 2007 16:49 (eighteen years ago)

This is of interest

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZSrPIcnZbAg

― admrl, Monday, 9 July 2007 20:51 (eighteen years ago)

holy fukc

― Will M., Monday, 9 July 2007 21:00 (eighteen years ago)

I love Youtube comments:

zicaned (2 days ago)
he looks like the first man in the world

― admrl, Monday, 9 July 2007 21:04 (eighteen years ago)

also this one:

he looks funny... hahahahhah fuck west ham
chelsea fucks all

― Will M., Monday, 9 July 2007 21:07 (eighteen years ago)

Will - I think extra defensive cover is probably more important than a left winger at this point, surely? A proper commanding central midfielder would be nice though.

― Matt DC, Monday, 9 July 2007 22:37 (eighteen years ago)

I guess that's why the big deal over the Ghetto King or whatever he calls himself.

But really, we need SOMEONE on that left flank! I agree though... we do need that defensive cover.

― Will M., Friday, 13 July 2007 19:42 (eighteen years ago)

Jose drops Ballack hint

Good work from Sky Sports

― Michael Philip Philip Philip philip Annoyman, Monday, 16 July 2007 10:57 (eighteen years ago)

Looks like Bale - Taarabt is the left flank for next season? Bit on the youthful side to say the least but could be brilliant.

― Matt DC, Monday, 16 July 2007 11:01 (eighteen years ago)

There's way too much Tottenham on here these days.

― Pete W, Monday, 16 July 2007 11:04 (eighteen years ago)

Now that friendlies have started, is it still the off-season? Or should I start a new lower league 07-08 thread to report AFCW's epic 4-1 win over hated local rivals Tooting and Mitcham?

― Mark C, Monday, 16 July 2007 11:18 (eighteen years ago)

I'm going to the AFC-Dulwich game next week. First live football match of the season - already getting the butterflies.

Somebody needs to get the Fantasy League up and running also.

― Pete W, Monday, 16 July 2007 11:20 (eighteen years ago)

ILX Fantasy Premier League 07/08

20 character limit on team names deprives me of "Total Fretwork Solutions"

― Michael Philip Philip Philip philip Annoyman, Monday, 16 July 2007 11:22 (eighteen years ago)

we beat T&M 5-0, and that with only half our squad :P

― Just got offed, Monday, 16 July 2007 11:23 (eighteen years ago)

20 character limit on team names deprives me of "Total Fretwork Solutions"

Totally stealing that for my other Fantasy League team.

― Matt DC, Monday, 16 July 2007 11:36 (eighteen years ago)

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/london/6901085.stm

Police raid three football clubs

Police have raided three football clubs as part of an investigation into alleged corruption in football.

Newcastle United is believed to be one of the clubs raided but the other clubs involved have yet to be named.

The operation is not connected to Lord Stevens' ongoing Quest inquiry into the Premiership and was "totally independent", police said.

Search warrants were executed on the club premises and two homes between 0730 and 0900 BST.

A police spokesman said: "We can confirm that search warrants were served at three football clubs and the homes of two individuals in connection with corruption in football and its impact on owners and shareholders."

― The Wayward Johnny B, Monday, 16 July 2007 13:48 (eighteen years ago)

Souness and Big Sam?

― Herman G. Neuname, Monday, 16 July 2007 14:00 (eighteen years ago)

Newcastle,Rangers and Portsmouth are the clubs. So the 2 men could be Souness and Harry Redknapp? or 2 agents.

― Herman G. Neuname, Monday, 16 July 2007 15:55 (eighteen years ago)

French coach Raymond Domenech has branded Julien Faubert 'unspeakably stupid' for signing for West Ham. (Various)

haha

― That mong guy that's shit, Tuesday, 17 July 2007 12:17 (eighteen years ago)

I'm really looking forward to West Ham still being shit next season despite spunking cash on anything that moves.

― Matt DC, Tuesday, 17 July 2007 12:23 (eighteen years ago)

i think they'll come 10th

― blueski, Tuesday, 17 July 2007 12:27 (eighteen years ago)

actually they'll probably just coast along for 9 months, lose twice against Man U and finish only one place higher than last season

― blueski, Tuesday, 17 July 2007 12:29 (eighteen years ago)

They need to have a season preview where Raymond Domenech methodically labels all of West Ham's players "unspeakably stupid" for signing for them.

I'm not sure who of the allegedly Resurgent teams I want to fail most out of Newcastle, Human Rights FC and West Ham.

OK, it's Newcastle, definitely Newcastle, but it's not normally such a close run thing.

― That mong guy that's shit, Tuesday, 17 July 2007 12:33 (eighteen years ago)

I'm not sure who of the allegedly Resurgent teams I want to fail most out of Newcastle, Human Rights FC and West Ham.

The problem with all this is that it's almost making me think favourably of Aston Villa, and that can never be a good thing.

― Matt DC, Tuesday, 17 July 2007 12:41 (eighteen years ago)

If I did not support Aston Villa I'd feel yr pain, for sure

― That mong guy that's shit, Tuesday, 17 July 2007 12:43 (eighteen years ago)

I feel a little bit conflicted about not having that much to complain about, really

― That mong guy that's shit, Tuesday, 17 July 2007 12:44 (eighteen years ago)

Except for the apparently imminent signing of Marlon fuckin Harewood

― That mong guy that's shit, Tuesday, 17 July 2007 12:45 (eighteen years ago)

Just as long as you didn't buy a season ticket..

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy, Tuesday, 17 July 2007 12:52 (eighteen years ago)

oh shi-

― That mong guy that's shit, Tuesday, 17 July 2007 12:54 (eighteen years ago)

Human Rights FC? who is that i'm from canada thanks for yr answer i am from canada.

― Will M., Tuesday, 17 July 2007 14:30 (eighteen years ago)

Sorry Will M, that is how the folks at the humorous "Guardian Fiver" teatime football e-mail have started referring to Manchester City FC, owned as they are by sinister, small-headed former Thai PM Thaksin Shinawatra.

― That mong guy that's shit, Tuesday, 17 July 2007 14:36 (eighteen years ago)

Ahh, yes. Can you read the Fiver online? I have heard so much about it...

― Will M., Tuesday, 17 July 2007 14:51 (eighteen years ago)

or more accurately, is there an rss?

― Will M., Tuesday, 17 July 2007 14:54 (eighteen years ago)

http://football.guardian.co.uk/fiver/

― Ray, Tuesday, 17 July 2007 19:14 (eighteen years ago)

AFC Wimbledon is pleased to announce that the club has agreed a deal with Cherry Red Records to sponsor the Fans' Stadium. The ground will now be known as "The Cherry Red Records Fans' Stadium."

― Mark C, Wednesday, 25 July 2007 12:08 (eighteen years ago)

is there a nice cherry red home strip to match?

― blueski, Wednesday, 25 July 2007 12:15 (eighteen years ago)

I'd quite like that! An away cherry red strip would be good. And of course our boot contract has gone to Dr Martens.

― Mark C, Wednesday, 25 July 2007 12:20 (eighteen years ago)

The Premiership war of words has started early, with Manchester United boss Sir Alex Ferguson telling Chelsea manager Jose Mourinho to shut up and labelling him a fool. (Various)

― admrl, Thursday, 26 July 2007 16:59 (eighteen years ago)

Haha there is an enormous amount of spin on almost every single word of that!

― Matt DC, Thursday, 26 July 2007 17:07 (eighteen years ago)

What Fergie actually said

― Matt DC, Thursday, 26 July 2007 17:09 (eighteen years ago)

b-b-b-b-but surely you know the premiership war of words!

― admrl, Thursday, 26 July 2007 17:10 (eighteen years ago)

five years pass...