Bitchy Office notes c/d s/d

"Bitches, Give me back my fucking coffee cup. xox,etc. . "

When my lunch was constantly being pilfered from the faculty lounge I put a sign on the fridge which said something like "To whoever is stealing my food, I will find out who you are and slash your tires. You have been warned." All the teachers loved it but whoever it was kept taking things so I just stopped bringing my lunch. Obv it was an empty threat since I didn't find out who it was.

Slash all tires. just to be safe.

That would've been the smart move.

someone steals food (not mine) from my office's fridge all the time. once someone stole and ENTIRE PIZZA.

"Hi, everyone. Whoever took or borrowed my NEU! coffee mug, could you please return it to me. No questions asked."

ATTN: DO NOT WASH OUT HOT COFFEE CARAFES WITH COLD WATER. THEY WILL CRACK!

The worst part about that one was that it went up on the wall following a weekend where I cracked two coffee carafes by washing them out too soon with cold water. Jeez, lesson learned already guys...

We actually had a thread where someone else was complaining about stolen lunches. My suggestion involved laxative laced mayo sandwich and patiently waiting outside the washroom. If I ever start bringing in my lunch and I have to deal with such transgressions I think I would seriously do this!

PLEASE WASH ALL DISHES AND WIPE DOWN SINK WHEN DONE
YOUR MOTHER DOES NOT WORK HERE

is it bitchy to complain about someone if they are too loud and you're in an open office?

Jon, you should just go with your normal ILX flow!

"You fucking fatass aspie retard cunts, give me back admin privs to my coffee cup or I won't be responsible for the hell I'll put you through!"

You forgot the bowl cuts.

A NEU! coffee mug! Wotta woild!

coffee cup admin privs, roffle.

We actually had a thread where someone else was complaining about stolen lunches. My suggestion involved laxative laced mayo sandwich and patiently waiting outside the washroom. If I ever start bringing in my lunch and I have to deal with such transgressions I think I would seriously do this!

-- The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall, Thursday, May 17, 2007 11:26 AM

I was thinking of the same strategy!

But how do you get a big dose of laxatives in mayonnaise? What if they don't work soon enough?

I think she should put something really foul or rotten in a sandwich. Whether or not the thief ingests the foul sandwich or simply discovers the nasty surprise before eating shouldn't matter as it should put the thief off of pilfering M's lunch in the future.

I like the idea of putting a note in the middle of the foul sandwich to the effect of "You are eating a turd, and you're getting what you deserve, thief! Stop stealing my lunch, k? thx. xoxo"

I used to have a problem with people stealing our food in a hostel. I fixed that easily when I noticed the looks of repulsion I got when I prepared frozen brussel sprouts. The opaque bag for it was printed with piccies of brussel sprouts. After I used up the sprouts, I reused to bag to hide milk, butter, and cheese -- and no one ever stole our food again. I think the piccies were sufficiently repellent that no thief even dared to open the bag to see what was really inside.