hey.

i'm going to walk out the lake, one week from right now. that's after my niece's birthday. her birthday party. i'm going to walk into the lake,

http://www.haveyouseengod.com/Details/CynthiaReLadyLake.jpg

I walked on the lake. I r Jesus.

i meant into the lake, and never return.

love! i'd bet that trayce and ned sort of get it. i don't though.

andi, have you seen being there? you might enjoy it.

http://www.galleryone.com/images/barson/barson-lady-of-shallot.jpg

thanks anyway.
i was asking if anyone understood me.
i know, now.
i won't be here

My daughter is Ophelia. She will be able to swim before she falls in love.

Andi, if you're looking for attention, I wish you'd find another way to do it. If you're seriously contemplating suicide, then I wish you'd get some proper help somewhere, because there is nothing we can do for you.

andi, we should chill sometime.

yeah seriously – i was trying to be nice.

i feel weird about there being another andi on ilx.

It is rare to find anyone who understands. Treasure it like the rarest jewel when you find it.

thanks. i was only wondering. i'm not afraid to die. nothing does it anymore. i know music, i know my new nephew. i know that i can lie and burn. i'm waiting for my neices sixth birthday, a week from right now. the next day. i'm going to take six dollars and fifty cents, and buy a fifth of vodka, and take a bunch of effexors, and, asprines, and everything else. i'm going to wear my favorite outfit, into the sand. i'll take it off. i'll be naked. i'm taking a kitchen knife. i'm going to fuck up my neck. i'm putting an end to this alsup shit. i love you. i was wondering who understood. oh, haha.

i mean that i'm not afraid to burn, if that's what it comes to. that's easier than earth. flames don't tell me what to do. they only fuck me, and i rest.

NEVERMIND. I'M JUST AN INTERNET PERFORMANCE ARTIST OR SOMETHING. THANKS, BYE.

Hrm.

That or a bit needy.

(xpost)

cry for help on the internet: dud
performance art that can't be distinguished from real cry for help: dud

look, we might WANT to help you, but speaking in riddles and expecting us to react in the way you want is a bit, I don't know, what DO you want us to do?

(oh, and suicide: dud)

Don't encourage him, this has all the signs of being another M4rissa.

There's only one M4rissa, this is another person who could be for real.

i was kidding around about performance.

thank you trayce.

this is

.

goodnight. and sorry

i have no friends left. i'm a real recluse. i haven't left the house in two years. they all know. everyone gave up. i don't blame them. i'm sorry. i'll be here tomorrow, i guess. sorry. sorry. this is happening. i live right on lake huron. i'm fucking my neck up there, in the water. i don't want there to be a mess. water. i live on a very polluted part of it anyway. sorry. sorry. i will talk to you tomorrow. talk tomorrow. no worries. i said a week. i'll be here tomorrow.

Are you telling us this because you want us to stop you? (i.e. you don't want to do it anyway?)

I really dont think you should be talking like this here. Go get some help.

Trayce OTM.

Get one (1) psychologist and one (1) livejournal. Those two things will do you way more good than posting to ILX. I've said it to someone else on this board before: Not all attention is good attention.

and he was right :-D

Hey andi read this:

http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/

i don't know who's more pathetic- this crank or the rest of ye.

hey andi. i think you're fantastic and that a world without you would be a degree or two more painful, not only because of this thread, but also because i think you're a thoughtful person. dont slit em mkay. anyway, i thought i might offer you a gr8 black hole for you to lose yourself into before you start to seriously consider doing it yourself (it's worked for me lol):

http://www.sendspace.com/file/fghty8

love! i'd bet that trayce and ned sort of get it. i don't though.

oh wow I hate you.

LET'S BE ENEMIES, OK?

can we beat him like that woman in airplane?

I prefer the Oh Dae-Su method of dealing with potential suicides, myself.

oh, wrinklepaws?

hey lj you soulless fuck i hope you enter the ninth circle (living or dead) before andi's gf calls an ambulance and the funny thing is i don't have to hope

only BIG HOOS can save her now

i really don't understand strgn's post.

strgn wishes for LJ (Just got offed) to go to the wrong circle of hell and he believes that he doesn't need to worry as LJ will go to the wrong circle of hell in his opinion. LJ does not need to be alive or dead to enter the wrong circle.

andi supposedly has a girlfriend but if posting on previous threads is to be believed I believe it should either be a boyfriend or a transvestite ghost. I hope that helps.

Strgn: to help you out try here next time.

ah. i didn't like that matthew pearl book, though.

if a transvestite ghost tried to call an ambulance, could they physically pick up the receiver? patrick swayze couldn't at first.

Gave it to a friend, never read it. Good question though. Would it be cheating if Whoopi did it for him?

i'd rather die than have whoopi goldberg do anything for me.

Whoopophobe!

god hates whoopi

Is that why she had to marry Ted Danson?

i think that's a little harsh. he's been in frasier, you know.

this thread makes me sad, you can't reason away internet cries for help! just speaking from personal experience, they tend to come from people who are using the internet as a last-resort release valve because they have a lot of confusing shit building up inside of them and they don't really know where else to go. and yeah, what they write might look ridiculous to you now, and might even look ridiculous to them in a few days, but that doesn't mean it's not totally natural and honest and heartfelt and ESSENTIAL at the time they wrote it. I've definitely had the "that's it, I'm going upstairs right now and ending it all" AIM conversations before, and while I know people don't like feeling that someone is jerking them around and using the threat of suicide to get attention/validation/whatever, some things deserve the benefit of the doubt.

andi, I don't know you at all, but I do know that I felt pretty horrible a few years ago. like you, I had few friends, rarely left the house, felt like people had given up on me. now, even though most of those things haven't changed and I'm basically living the exact same life I was two years ago, I'm somehow much happier. I don't know when or why or how it happened, but it can and it did and it will happen to you and I think that's enough to keep going.

i think that's a little harsh. he's been in frasier, you know.

Never really liked that series, sorry.

http://lonestartimes.com/images/Weidenhof/ChiefWiggumOnPhone.jpg
hey, its not my job to talk people out of killing themselves

xpost

a fair and reasonable post bernard, written with much more believability and sincerity than the posts upthread.

i still think it's ridiculous to take "andi's" posts at face value, though. is it really compulsory to honour and respect that type of crap whenever you come across it?

yeah i dunno who the fuck darraghmac is but i agree, this is a we-dont-negotiate-with-terrorists thing for me

xxpost: right but... argh I dunno, it's just frustrating to see people say "sorry, I can't help you, go away" or "maybe you should talk to a psychologist". yes, maybe they should, but right now they are here and they are talking to you and to say that there is nothing you can do to help is bullshit. maybe you don't want to or you don't feel like you should be obligated to, and I can respect that, but don't try to act like just because you aren't a trained therapist you are some sort of anti-social robot who is totally incapable of listening sympathetically while someone vents their emotions.

then again I say this as someone who regularly gives money to people doing the whole "I'm from out of town my car broke down I just need a few bucks so I can get some gas" thing because I am convinced that somewhere out there is someone who actually does need a few bucks to get some gas, so it may be that I am just young and naive and all that

i dont think to best way to deal with ppl like this is to convince them that its a valid way to get love & attention

yes, but good god, it really doesn't come across as genuine.

i mean, really, it's very dubious.

xpost- yeah give em an inch, and they'll take a mile.

give them enough rope, however....

I certainly wouldn't say that it's "compulsory to honour and respect" threats of suicide by people on the internet, but I do think that, regardless of the seriousness of the actual threat, it's pretty much guaranteed that it's coming from someone who's in a bad place. at worst, it's 'just' someone who is lonely and wants some human interaction; there are worse people than that out there.

that being said, the internet is a pretty low-stakes form of interaction; all bets are off when it comes to the real world, and I can certainly understand why people who have had bad experiences there would want to be cautious in the future.

xpost: yeah, I understand what you guys are saying, and I'm sure it's just a matter of time before I end up trapped in a horrible relationship with someone who threatens suicide if I end it and I totally change my tune as a result; I'm just saying, I've spent enough sleepless nights engaging in spontaneous internet catharsis to know that the motives can be pure even if the words are bullshit.

"I do think that, regardless of the seriousness of the actual threat, it's pretty much guaranteed that it's coming from someone who's in a bad place"

nope.

sorry, not to trivialise your point, i just think you have to put in at least a token effort to judge whether or not this type of thing is genuine.

True. But in a sense we have to believe anyway. I rather find out afterwards that it was a joke than joke about it and later find out s/he was being serious. So...

Okay, sorry to make such an irrelevant post before, I didn't realize that you were being serious. Nor do I know now. I hope you're not. But if you are, please don't remain behind a computer screen, but, instead, call a friend (or a suicide help line). Things can change for the better.

why are we required to talk people we dont know out of killing themselves? i think its a valid choice, and for some people shit never does get any better, so why make it into this weirdo pro-life terri schiavo bullshit

http://www.roflcat.com/images/cats/emo.jpghttp://www.roflcat.com/images/cats/emo.jpghttp://www.roflcat.com/images/cats/emo.jpg

"I do think that, regardless of the seriousness of the actual threat, it's pretty much guaranteed that it's coming from someone who's in a bad place"

nope.

sorry, not to trivialise your point, i just think you have to put in at least a token effort to judge whether or not this type of thing is genuine.

its the battle of this thread and big hoos for which is more self-indulgent

why are we required to talk people we dont know out of killing themselves? i think its a valid choice, and for some people shit never does get any better, so why make it into this weirdo pro-life terri schiavo bullshit

Because, from my point of view, life is better than death and life can get better. Well, not always. But if you end it, you'll never know. I do realize it is a valid choice. I can never understand people who say suicide is a selfish act.

I doubt Terri would be able to post to a message board for help.

i don't think an internet thread can save a person that's genuinely suicidal.

if, then, we are dealing with a non-genuine cry-for-help, there are plenty of better options, which are obvious and much more practical than an internet thread.

if we are dealing with somebody who thinks it's funny to pretend-post this kind of thing, then you've got to just give up.

in any case, it's not something i'm inclined to take seriously when i see it posted on the net.

okay, and what (I think your name is ethan? fuck if I know, there's like eighty zillion people here and I can't keep track of anyone's name except Ned Raggett and nabisco): I am not saying that anyone has an obligation to stop people from killing themselves, but I do agree with the notion upthread that people who initiate conversations about suicide are generally unsure about it, and maybe even hoping to be talked out of it.

darraghmac, I am of the opinion that someone who isn't yet fully suicidal can still make a genuine cry for help, and while therapy may be the best option for such a person, it's just not a realistic possibility for someone who IMs you at 2 AM because they've spent the last few hours alone with their own harmful thoughts and the sheer weight of their depression is starting to overwhelm them. helping someone survive a personal crisis is a different thing than helping them conquer their depression, and I think most people are capable of doing the former.

basically this is all an elaborate way of saying "I see a lot of myself in andi's posts and therefore feel qualified to pretend that my own experiences represent some sort of universal traits of depression"

i think andi's post is as fake as lil kim's teeth, and don't like the fact that it's obviously bothering some very nice people.

I don't understand why you think a perfectly healthy person would post elaborate fake suicide plans anonymously on the internet.

Perfectly healthy but with weird sense of humour.

I don't understand why you think a perfectly healthy person would post elaborate fake suicide plans anonymously on the internet.

what's elaborate? just some asshole typing disjointed self-harm threats to get kicks. i dunno, maybe they're researching a psych 101 paper or some shit.

oh yeah, and Nathalie 100% OTM anyway.

I mean, I think we've all known the guy that was always "pretending to be gay"

um, i've missed you there.

hey lj you soulless fuck i hope you enter the ninth circle (living or dead) before andi's gf calls an ambulance and the funny thing is i don't have to hope

I was making a playful movie reference (based around the fact that Oldboy is one of my favourite films, just ahead of Airplane), your pathetic abuse is in no way relevant to this. Who are you anyway? I'm not saying we seriously ignore the dude until he actually does something drastic, I'm merely saying that I found a movie scene funny. Why does this necessitate abuse? Also, Andi being indulgent, that I can agree with; it's been a feature of his posting throughout. However, through the indulgence it's quite easy to see genuine despair, so the positive advice given on this thread has been for the benefit of the situation, I believe. The dude needs help, anyone's help, might as well be our help. Even if he's faking, it's better to be sure.

see, i wasn't aware that this was a regular andi performance. if it is, then everything i said counts double.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/a/a2/ChoSh.jpg

LJ OTM here - there's probably not much anyone can do either way, but if you're leaning toward thinking it's fake, why post to the thread at all?

its the battle of this thread and big hoos for which is more self-indulgent

-- and what, Monday, May 28, 2007 9:13 AM

I find it bizarro that you seem to be implying that there are threads on ILX that are not in fact completely self-indulgent on the part of the thread starter and all who respond afterwards

ethan qft

Well, I avoided the thread whilst Andi was going at it hammer and tongs, because I found it embarrassing for all concerned. I do think that as soon as he received a positive response he should have buttoned down, whereas instead he continued, indulgently and with increasing levels of dread. It's not the sort of thing I want to read on ILX, it's not the sort of thing any of us want to read on ILX, but if we at least try to help him he might snap out of it and stop bothering everyone.

Basically, we should lock this thread at the earliest opportunity.

I just wish people would quit losing it on ILE. Nobody ever loses it on ILM or NB, just on ILE and I think on Baseball once.

It's not the sort of thing I want to read on ILX, it's not the sort of thing any of us want to read on ILX, but if we at least try to help him he might snap out of it and stop bothering everyone.

good advice LOUIS

haha HYPOCRISY R US

AIN'T NO BROTHAS IN AFRICA WITH ANOREXIA

xp

OLD LJ, OLD HABITS

cue Saddam's song in South Park movie: "I can change, I can change..."

SRSLY can we lock it now.

Louis that's not your decision, go to the Mod Req board if you want to file complaints

The loudest doubters are obviously acting out of fear of being shown up as gullible on ILX.

does anyone understand me?

andi, no offense intended, but get one bartender. That is their function.

A pity that BLAM retired!

andi, no offense intended, but get one bartender. That is their function.

yeah, someone feeding you depressants whilst pretending to be your best friend is really going to help you get over your depression. bartenders are nothing but sellers of poison-- this doesn't mean that i don't like a drink, or that i don't like and respect some barkeeps, but that the reality of the situation is that those who sell alcohol are selling legal poison.

also, andi, plz to try to find help that isn't on this board.

Okay then Andi - I'm one of the people who moderates this community and I'm locking this thread because, frankly, I don't see it can have any sort of positive outcome.

If you are for real, then for god's sake please get some professional help. ILX, as I'm sure you're realising, is full of posturing arseholes and really isn't the place for this. Especially as you don't know us, and there's very little we can do for you. Whenever you get the opportunity, talk to someone who's actually trained to deal with this - although I know nothing about you I'm sure you have more to live for than you realise right now. Most people do.

If you're faking this (and I'm not going to make a judgement here) then this is really not cool at all.

Everyone else who's jumping on him here, seriously, stop being a dick.

Either way, I'm locking this, discussion can continue on the Mod Request forum. Thanks.