The Brave New Dawn of Boris the Wondermayor

Ned voted for Boris? I KNEW IT

Fucking foreigners.

Not only that, I went around each ward voting as many times as possible. JUST TO SEE WHAT WOULD HAPPEN!

I feel such a fool now...

It's been sunnier, but I had a nightmare trip to Camberwell on Saturday. So 50/50 so far.

Banning booze on public transport: anti-Polish discrimination?

shouldn't be drinking that anyway

lol good point!

Chelsea now official gun capital of London on Boris' watch.

On ITV's exciting Flood drama David Suchet said that "we'll have to sacrifice Camberwell" is this a coincidence I think NOT!

"we'll have to sacrifice Camberwell Now - I've got their album on my iPod anyway"

I note how the 'no bouze on my Tube' posters are an angry finger-wagging blue rather than the gentle pastel 'Mayor of LondON' things we've become used to. Perhaps that's because Boris had 5minutes to do it in MSPaint in between induction sessions, though.

http://img137.imageshack.us/img137/1747/borisinthewaylb9.jpg

Can I do my 'Paul Merton asks "Is it the woman on the left saying 'I don't care if they ban the booze, but I wish they'd ban those idiots getting in the way of the barriers'?"' joke now?

Johnson is saying "So, this is what a tube station is? How jolly."

I notice that the police already had powers to deal with drunks...
"Most of the time, just letting people know that their behaviour is no longer permitted will be enough to make them stop, but if they become antisocial or aggressive they will be dealt with under current legislation and bylaws."
...so why make extra hassle?

Boris is saying "So, run this by me again, you pay for...what did you call it...a ticket? And then what? You go through there...right...and where are the porters?"

Would be fucking great if somebody shot the cunt.

bad things: ban them. If they already banned, ban them again.

I notice that the RMT and ASLEF are annoyed that he didn't consult them first on booze ban. I suppose they're hardly his constituency anyway so probably doesn't give a fuck. All part of his new Hard Man act a la Giuliani (and Bloomberg) or perhaps he has a "Thatcher vs the miners" moment in mind.

He's planning to negotiate a no-strike agreement with Tube workers. Good luck with that!

You'll still be able to drink (and buy booze, if there's a trolley) on National Rail services (including London Overground) and on the boats.

I noticed the 'new Routemaster' got a brief mention on the local BBC news this morning, although there doesn't seem to be any actual development. The designers apparently reckon it 'could' be built and sold for a price of about £200,000. Whether that includes the costs of setting up a new production line or not I don't know.

I'm entering the competition for the new Routemaster with this:

http://www.flightsimnetwork.com/shigeru/images/stxbusf5-humor.jpg

That idea might fly (sorry)

OMG Bob Crow says:

"We are in favour of any measure that will make our members' lives safer and curb anti-social behaviour, but it appears that this really hasn't been thought through very well and could well make matters worse. We are being told that it will be our members who will have to approach people drinking and ask them to stop - but the mayor hasn't asked us what we think.

"Perhaps the mayor will come out with his underpants on over his trousers like Superman one Saturday to show us how it should be done, and maybe tell a crowd of Liverpool supporters that they can't drink on the train."

Looking good for those negotiations then!

Tube FAP?

Well we all know what Boris thinks about Liverpool so he'll probably put up armed border posts at Staples Corner.

Tube FAP has to happen: tribute to the days of Circle Line carriage raves.

You have to dress like that famous photo w/ Cameron, Boris et al (you know the one)

cold_dead_hands.xls

This one you mean:

http://a4.vox.com/6a00c2251c05e18fdb00d4141720e4685e-500pi

... that's Boris in the middle

I probably wouldn't mind the Bullingdon Club photos if they dressed as well as the Brideshead gang did.

I apologise for not running them over with my Dulux Super Qualcast hover mower when I had the chance.

I noticed the 'new Routemaster' got a brief mention on the local BBC news this morning

this is nuts. here's why:

1. a transport company wouldn't reintroduce conductors as it would almost double its labour costs in one fell swoop - commercial suicide.

2. no bus company outside London would be interested in buying the bus. No-one was interested in buying the old Routemaster either actually. The only company that operated Routemasters during their years of production was Northern General - and they only bought 50.

3. The Routemaster falls foul of both health and safety and anti-disabled discrimination laws by having an open platform at the back with no facility for "kneeling" or the provision of a wheelchair lift. You could build them with doors rather than an open platform (in fact the Northern General version mentioned upcomment had doors, as did some of the Country Area e.g.s but - well, what would be the point? The bus's main USP: ease of getting on and off and hence reduced journey times - would be removed.

4. It is utterly impractical to construct a jig-built integral (ie not just a chassis to which different bodies can be attached as is the case with most buses, but all-in-one by one manufacturer) bus with a half-cab (ie with the engine next to the driver and a passenger window beside. To do so would cost millions and no manufacturer would be able to make the figures add up. The situation is analogous to the VW Beetle. It would cost millions to restart production of the old Beetle and it would be a huge lossmaker for VW, so VW made a new Beetle which was vaguely the same shape but built on the Golf platform so not really a Beetle at all.

seeing as the new bus would not fulfil the criteria cited above, in what way would it be a Routemaster? Answer: it wouldn't. And, given that a new Routemaster can't be built, is there any point in building another new type of bus rather than continuing to purchase the many fine models manufactured by Dennis, Volvo, Scania, Mercedes etc? Answer: there isn't.

Yep, all going swimmingly for Boris so far

Quite. This is as far as the design's gone anyway: http://www.capoco.co.uk/capoco-routemaster-study.html (Capoco are only designers, rather than an actual manufacturer) - Beetle analogy is spot-on.

Bus operators in London are currently forbidden to buy Volvos, because they're too noisy.

I find your second sentence highly improbable, Bocken.

The Private Eye before last asserts that the new Routemasters he's proposing are potentially bigger killers than the bendy buses because of the new design's long wheelbase.

It's true! (sort of). There's a problem with the cooling fans which meant they were on all the time and actually quite loud, and I think TfL put an embargo on new orders for them while it was being looked into, although it seems to have been lifted now.

In other Boris news: Homes for Votes chap in as senior planning advisor

Grandpoint and Bocken sound like my dear departed dad who loved the routemasters (and would scoff unbearably if I mistook an RT for one (see for instance this so-called routemaster illustrating this article.... My dad would have been the bloke making the last couple of comments)but who recognised that they were gone and it was just sentimental old tosh to bring them back. There are plenty of good modern buses (not necessarily bendy ones) but of course BJ is not doing this for practical reasons, he only needs a few subsidised ones trudling around central London and then he can point at them and say "I Deliver!".

The Private Eye before last asserts that the new Routemasters he's proposing are potentially bigger killers than the bendy buses because of the new design's long wheelbase

er, yeh, but there's a pretty damning letter in the current one saying "get one understanding of articulation" -- and it's that two-part swing that seems to be the major problen with bendy buses and cyclists.

(whatever the solution is, though: it ain't fucking routemasters.)

You don't know what you might catch!

In other Boris news: Homes for Votes chap in as senior planning advisor

Boris shares late night meetings with gay man shockah.

Haha, yeah, re: grimly point - getting bus nerds to agree on anything is impossible. I've been there, it gets ugly. They are worse than trainspotters (although usually, for some reason, better dressed).

the solution is to roll out the pay *before* you enter rather than *as* you enter system across the whole of the Capital and to further increase the pricing differential between Oyster and cash fares to the point when cash fares became a farcical rip off. If I had been Mayor I would also put more Oyster checking devices (the things with the yellow disks, whatever they are called) in each bus, making them almost as numerous as the stop buttons maybe, so there was no obligation to swipe it as you got on the bus. That way you could actually get rid of the bendies and replace them with normal double deck buses. This would also necessitate employing more ticket inspectors to ensure people didn't ride for free, but their salaries could be paid for by the savings you could make by not having the cash counting and accounting systems needed for each driver returning to the garage with his or her cash fare money. I would also increase the penalty fines for travelling without a ticket or swiped Oyster.

I daresay Ken would have done this (or similar) had he remained Mayor. Ken's main error, apart from some of his dodgy appointments, was to rejoin the Labour Party. If he had remained as an Independent he would have not been tarred with the same brush as the Brown govt and would most likely have swept to a deserved and resounding victory last Thursday.

You don't know what you might catch!

it's more the fear of getting your knob stuck in the exhaust pipe.

Apparently, however, the oft-heard call of "time for a change" was a heartfelt public reaction to the inflexibility of non-Routemaster buses in terms of EXACT MONEY ONLY.

Apparently a potential Labour candidate for the mayorship in 2012 is...

Dave Rowntree.

Well done Labour.

Matt Willis must be quaking.

Drummer Out of Gay Dad vs. Gay Drummer Out of Blur

... It's So On

it's more the fear of getting your knob stuck in the exhaust pipe.

oooh! aren't we boastful?

mayorless london a better idea

They're giving Boris responsibility for emergency planning:

http://www.londonprepared.gov.uk/news/news-20101021.jsp

We're all fucked.

http://img.thesun.co.uk/multimedia/archive/01265/SNN0712AA--6825_1265701a.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/VJsxA.jpg

Two bicycles, one town bike, one ex-Governator.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-13236556

"London Mayor Boris Johnson is to give tandem bicycle based on the city's bike hire scheme as a wedding present to Prince William and Kate Middleton."

complete with Barcleys branding. class.

Can't help liking Boris more for this.

fuck boris

the bikes were ken's idea

Ken might have got Barclays to stick another zero onto their sponsorship offer, though.

yeah he might have got them to throw in some unicorns as well, ken is the best human being ever

everything's relative Romford Spring

i meant it!!!!!!!!!!!! i <3 ken!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

calm down, dear

sexist

Wait: Ken still exerts such power that he can make London give a tandem bike to the royal couple?

no the bikes not that bike

Well, yeah. But it was that bike that was being made fun of, no?

boris has made a gift to the duke and duchess of cambridge on their wedding of a tandem based on the design of a boris bike further reinforcing his status as the driving force behind the prestigious bike initiative that Republicans voiced concern about young pages hearing the word uterus points out was ken's idea

Not sure about this:

http://i.imgur.com/LUAaA.jpg

http://static.worldarchitecturenews.com/news_images/16677_6_londonpark6.jpg

http://www.bdonline.co.uk/news/new-river-park-planned-for-thames/5018183.article

The north side of the river is pretty shitty to walk along atm, so from that perspective it's a bonus. Those pods are fugly though, and not shown are the plethora of portakabin cafes, wheelbarrow coffee stalls, hotdog and hot nut sellers, that will inevitably flock in to 'monetize' this new tourist asset. And those living statue c*nts.

And if it's garishly lit at night it will destroy the view along the river. The Thames should be a ribbon of darkness through the luminous city. Already worried about the glare from the new Blackfriars station that is currently ruining the view from Waterloo Bridge, idk if that will be permanent or is just there for construction purposes.

You might be un lucky there...
[Removed Illegal Image]

How is this going to make money for the investors?

Ooops - just go here.
http://www.bdonline.co.uk/pictures/800x400fitpad[238]/0/9/3/1693093_Gensler%20river%20park%20night.jpg

Oh fuck it. You'll have to c&p it. Anyway it's quite garish.

re: making money: charging rent for aforementioned unpictured commercial outlets?

I think this is pretty cool actually. I don't think you get much of a return on your investment charging rents to coffee stalls and most of the money will come from renting out the pods for events.

Also Ledge OTM about the north bank being appalling to walk along at the moment.

Meanwhile, no completion date has been given for the cable car linking The O2 with the Royal Docks - which is being funded by TfL after it failed to find private investment. The Mayor insisted if its future was not dependent on the 2012 Olympic Games.

Mr Johnson said: "The cable car will be delivered when it's good and ready, and ready to carry passengers across the Thames. There's no delay. It may be ready for the 2012 Games, but it's not tied to that.

"We are doing things that are much more important than the cable car. It will be ready in the fullness of time."

When pressed by Ms Pidgeon, Mr Johnson revealed the link, costing at least £57million of taxpayers money, could be ready by next summer but refused to be drawn further.

He said: "You are trying to get me to set a deadline, but I won't. There's very complicated work being done, with piling into the Thames. If we commit to a deadline that proves impossible you would correct me for failing to keep to that."

The Mayor defended the economic value of the cable car, despite the lack of private backing.

He said: "It's valuable in its own right. It will help with what we are doing at the Royal Docks enterprise zone. There's a good business case for it."

However, Mr Johnson's assertions cut little ice with Ms Pidgeon.

She said: "For the Mayor to state that the cable car will be completed when 'it's good and ready' is totally unbelievable.

"It is simply staggering that the Mayor is throwing around £57 million of public money at the Thames Cable Car yet is totally incapable of giving any assurance as to when it will be open.

"The Mayor should get on top of this flagship project."

There's very complicated work being done, with piling into the Thames.

Do not want a cable car to do this.

The number of Londoners fairly or very satisfied “with the way Boris Johnson is doing his job as Mayor of London” is 32% while the number who say they are “neither satisfied nor dissatisfied” is 33%. Those who are fairly or very dissatisfied is 15%, almost half the number of those happy with his performance.

The percentage of those who say the Mayor is “doing a good job” is up from 11% in 2009 to 19%.

Boris ­Johnson has almost ­doubled the salary of a key ally.

Daniel Moylan’s pay has leapt £55,000 from £60,000 to £115,000 for working just four days a week, a leaked letter reveals.

It makes him more ­highly paid pro rata – £143,750 – than the Prime Minister, who is on £142,500.

The revelation will put the Tory pair on a collision course with ministers.

They have attacked ­“excessive” pay of local politicians at a time when public-sector workers are suffering a pay freeze.

Mr Johnson approved the rise for Mr Moylan in his role as deputy chairman of Transport for London.

Mr Moylan still gets £10,597 as a councillor in Kensington and Chelsea.

And he is paid £6,000 as a member of the London Waste and Recycling Board, making his total from the taxpayer £131,597.

A spokesman for the mayor said: “His pay ­reflects his key role in helping improve services for ­millions of passengers.”

Is he panning on bringing back smoking on buses?
http://www.danielmoylan.com/

planning obv.

has his site been hacked/??

No.
http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/lifestyle/article-23857666-the-king-of-kensington.do

I hate the right-wing feebs who get a fleeting hard-on from nonce-ness like this:

It is as if Daniel Moylan, deputy leader of Kensington & Chelsea council and deputy chairman of Transport for London, wants to send a message to the world — “damn political correctness, I really don't care”.

Then they find out he's gay and get all conflicted about their hard-ons.

Boris Johnson joined cops in a crack den raid yesterday - and was asked by a suspect: "What the f*** are you doing here?"

The Tory politician was behind bobbies in riot gear as they broke into a barricaded flat in Tottenham, North London.

A suspect nicknamed Rambo, 48, was stunned to see the Mayor appear.

Mr Johnson said of his face-to-face meeting: "I don't think this chap was pleased to see me."

Freedom for Tooting!

A senior London City Hall advisor has resigned after a newspaper article quoted him saying he "stole" from supermarkets and food chains.

Tom Campbell, who advised on the Cultural Olympiad, said he was "misrepresented" in the article.

In the Evening Standard story he was quoted saying if he went to "chain stores" he had to "steal something".

The Greater London Authority (GLA) said his comments were intended to be "light-hearted and playful".

Those of a sensitive disposition, look away now. Word reaches me that Boris Johnson was recently left in an uncomfortable situation when his 8th floor City Hall loo was sabotaged.

I'm told that a security guard was posted outside the executive khazi after it was deliberately blocked on several occasions a month or so ago, forcing the Mayor to go in search of a clean lavatory. Apparently the scene inside was grim - and one source told me that it involved a "dirty protest" with excrement smeared on the wall.

Quite what sparked the protest remains a mystery, and the offender has not been caught.

Certainly, Mr Johnson is doing all he can to improve his chances with the voters of London. On Monday, he defied the Government vow of silence to declare Greece bust and call for its immediate withdrawal from the euro. As if that wasn’t enough to get attention, he also announced that he opposed Kenneth Clarke’s plans to soften sentencing laws. It was a moment of brazen defiance, yet the only reply from Downing Street was a muted sigh of resignation.

In fact, they have seen far worse from their so-called ally across the river, such as when he compared Coalition plans to limit housing benefit to “ethnic cleansing”, or when he paraded his support for a referendum on the Lisbon treaty at Tory conference. Boris has been decoupling himself from the Tory leadership for months. This is, in fact, an agreed strategy rather than a unilateral declaration of independence.

Some time ago, he came to an understanding with Mr Cameron and Mr Osborne – who oversees Tory election planning – that gives him permission to defy them on policy. Both sides recognise that to win, the Mayor must separate himself from the Prime Minister and even at times beard him. In the near daily exchanges of text messages between the three, there is an informal understanding that when Boris plans to go off the reservation, he will alert the high command.

As a political manoeuvre, it has worked a treat. Yesterday, pollsters YouGov reported that Boris had opened a seven-point lead over Mr Livingstone.

sun hasn't set just yet

go on ken ;_;

@tnewtondunn: Breaking: Boris Johnson is in Kurdistan to assess the fight against ISIL personally. @Sun_Politics is with him.

How many elections has Boris won thus far? Just the one? Feels like he's been the fucking mayor forever.

And London is so much worse since his arrival, in every way.

He's won two, we've had Ken vs Boris twice now.

jesus.

He's settled an old US tax bill, possibly as a pre-requisite for dumping his US citizenship before a run at Number 10.