Make songs less violent

I tasered a man in Reno, just to watch him spaz out.

I meant to start this in ilm, sorry. It's probably ok here, though.

"I slapped the sheriff, but I swear it was in self-defence"

Indicate the way to my abode, boys, I'm fatigued and I wish to retire.
Imbibed a little beverage sixty minutes ago and it went right to my cerebellum.
Wherever I may perambulate, over land or sea or atmospheric vapor,
You will always hear me vocalizing this melody
Indicate the way to my abode, boys.

Straight outta compton a crazy motherfucker named Ice Cube
From the gang called Niggaz With Attitudes
When I'm called off, I file a grievance
The writ is delivered and lawyers get court fees

end of michael jackson's black and white video:

a totally cuet kitten morphs into michael and then he washes and waxes a car

"Hey Joe, where you going with that water pistol in your hand?"

i hugged a man in reno just to watch him smile

"She stood there laughing.
I felt the Nerf in my hand, and she laughed no more."

Whatcha think all the No Soliciting signs is for?
Gated community war got the chihuahuas by the door

lol, more like she laughed some more...come 'round here threatening me with a foam kickball, pfffff.

great song

(xpost) I was thinking more of those Nerf pistols that fire foam darts. It's still violent, but less violent. I mean, it's hard to laugh when someone if firing a Nerf gun in your face!

it'll sting if it connects with eye, true

you also have to factor in the WTFness of it, I mean, you bust your gal slippin' out on you while holding a nerf gun? psyyychooo

Good morning, Mr. Benson
I see you're doing well
If I had me some bubblegum
I'd blow it straight to hell

come on baby don't fear the weeper

Straight out the hamptons a lovely kinda guy named Ice Cube

Straight outta Custos

whatcha think all the candys for?
sugar straight to your door, kids no happy no more.

He Admonished Me (And It Felt Like A Kiss)

(xxpost) Straight Outta Croydon

Day spa has shampooed my hair
Buffed my nails
Waxed my pubes
Cleansed my pores
Bathed my feet
Renewed my health
Left me with a whole new me

Down by the river
I argued with my baby

And then she said "I got some news this mornin' from Choctaw Ridge"
"Today Billy Joe MacAllister rappelled the Tallahatchie Bridge"

"I didn't have to go to BK.
I have to say it was a good day."

So you wanna be hardcore?
With your hat to the back
Talkin bout the smacks in your raps.

http://www.thebawdycloister.com/cloister/images/smacks.jpg

That's when I realize it's over.