Ageing

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How do you relate to ageing and what will you be like at 60+? If an elderly woman now is identifiable by a certain kind of anorak and shampoo-and-set (as well as by bodily signs of age), is that stuff was just, like, old lady peer group style, or does each generation just take the styles of their youth and middle years with them into old age?

I'm not talking about what you'd *like* to think you'll be like as a mature citizen (I guess a lot of women go through that 'I'll be potty, and wear a purple hat (or whatever that poem is) and cerise lipstick and have lots of cats and recite Dorothy Parker on the bus and I won't care ' thing, but that's more like anticipating elements of the coping process). I mean what do you think your generation and peer group will actually be like at 60+. My dad, frinstance, seems to me fairly typical of his time and social context (boomer, northern working-class grammar school boy made fairly good) in being what looks to be a fairly youthful late 50s (Gap chinos; buys and goes to see a lot more music than me, excited about new technology)

This is going to be one of those very long questions with one answer, isn't it? D'oh.

― Ellie, Thursday, 21 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Question prompted by me stopping dyeing my hair last summer and now noticing a sprinkling of grey ones, which oddly I kind of like, almost enough to not colour a while longer. And while I was staring fascinated by the new grey hairs, I noticed (now disused) ear piercings, and thinking that, whatever happens, I'll be an old lady with a small tattoo and six holes in each each, but wondering whether that'll matter (to me or anyone else; I couldn't care less about the ten year old tattoo or the 15 year old holes now). I should've called this thread 'written on the body', cos that's what I'm thinking about.

― Ellie, Thursday, 21 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

i was wondering about this just the other day, then decided that i didn't really want to think about it. i suppose what prompted it was that i'm going back up to College tomorrow to pick up my MA, and was seized by am almost-literally sickening wave of nostagia, then i started to think that in 5 years' time i'll be thirty and in ten years time... etc etc... i don't know. ageing doesn't scare me as such. i'm more scared by that government report thingy the other day that said the YOOF of today are unwittingly setting themselves up for old-age poverty by not getting pensions or saving etc...

though, my mam is nearly 60 and is dead cool, and buys even more shoes than me. i hope i end up like her!

― katie, Thursday, 21 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

am thinking about getting more ear piercings (i have 5) and a tattoo (i have 0) as well - at 25 am i too old for this? (i was a kitty paw print tattoo - not sure where. somewhere not flabby)

― katie, Thursday, 21 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Katie - of course you're not too old; I am past thirty and grey! (Actually this isn't true because you couldn't see the gray hairs if you weren't looking for them. Except maybe that rogue one in my eyebrow). Non-flabby...ankle? shoulder? FOREHEAD???

― Ellie, Thursday, 21 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

it is terrible, my forehead is about the only part of me that is not flabby! was thinking of shoulder or forearm, i think ankle would be a bit bony and therefore it would hurt.

― katie, Thursday, 21 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I've always imagined old people to end up similar, regardless of era. I don't know why I think this. I'm quite curious about how I'll end up, but I refuse to indulge that curiousity as it seems like counting chickens before they've hatched. I can't assume I have a future. But, I reckon in the future most elderly people will be pretty much the same as the old of today, because, aside from the ever fluctuating whims of fashion not a lot really alters. I do worry they're will be too many people though. Who kno, eh? Who kno?

― alix, Thursday, 21 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

no i think OAP style will change - at the moment most old men wear jackets, ties, caps etc, whereas although my dad is old enough to have worn a jacket and tie as a student, i can't imagine him suddenly starting to wear all this again when he reaches 70. old people's style will follow the trend from formal -> informal that has happened with young people's clothes, it's just there's a 40 or 50 year delay on it

― michael, Thursday, 21 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

oap style is already changing surely

― mark s, Thursday, 21 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

oaps in 2040 will all carry vast mobiles al la dom jolly and shout reminiscences at each other re bagpuss: travel will be by jetpack

― mark s, Thursday, 21 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Maybe this is the thing, that the older people who've not self-identified as 'older' aren't recognisable as old, because they're not spelling it out. They're wearing trousers in summer, not a lined wool skirt, tights and a girdle; my granny does this because she's 89 and whilst in some respects open to change, aspects of her sense of propriety in dress codes are still pre-war. But is there something to be gained by encoding elderliness in dress?

― Ellie, Thursday, 21 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

off the subject, but trend from formal->informal over time is very interesting - gradually people (well upper class/upper middle class i guess) started to wear sportswear as daily clothes, which then were reduced to just formal occasions. the now weddings-only top hat/tail coat outfit was once riding gear, the tweed jacket shooting clothes etc. so the wearing trainers to work is just a continuation of a long trend

― michael, Thursday, 21 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

one thing will be consistant re: old peoples' clothes - wearing hundreds of layers all year round

― michael, Thursday, 21 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I read somewhere that people under 30 today could live to be 140. so, being 60 will be kinda like being 30. Probably not. And then there is talk about increasing the working age to 70, terror! I'll be 60 in 2036. I don't want to work til I'm 70 or 40 for that matter. The best way to accept ageing is to not worry about it. My great gandmother was going off on holiday abroad by herself when she was 85. I can only hope that I have good health, I think that's important. Have I totally missed the point of the question? Probably.

― jel --, Thursday, 21 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I'm assuming I might actually have more buttonned shirts than tour shirts. But I'm not sure beyond that.

― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 21 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I've had old-man fashion sense for years now. I'm just waiting for my actual age to catch up. The only thing I'm worried about is the pot belly. I don't want that.

― Tracer Hand, Thursday, 21 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I'm going to read newspapers in the park and tell the pigeons to keep it down for christsakes I'm reading here! I will also go to the store in robe and slippers bifocals on top of my dome and keep a pack of lucky strikes in my cardigan pocket. I will tell the newscasters on tv that they don't know what the hell they're talking about and say you call that a war, Jack?

― fritz, Thursday, 21 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I never really think about it I guess b/c when and if I get that old I'll just be amazed to have made it.

I think we'll see lots of wrinkly tattoos. I have five now and ultimately have plans for nearly half-sleeves. Hank's closing in on being sleeved. I guess we'll be the funny grandparents who smooth out their skin so the kiddies can giggle at our old tattoos.

― Samantha, Thursday, 21 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

"Snots running down his nose! Greasy fingers smearing shabby clothes! Hey Aqwollnerlung!"

I used to sport old codger clothes almost exclusively when I was in my 20s. Now, at 40-nothing, I mainly wear jeans, dickies, t-shirts, blah blah blah. Cause I'm a California Man.

I'd *like* to return to the Sophisticated Senior Citizen Look of my youth when I'm in my 60s, but I think I'll just get sloppier and slopper as I get older. As will most of my peers.

― Arthur, Thursday, 21 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I've had old-man fashion sense for years now. I'm just waiting for my actual age to catch up. You lie, Tracer Hand. You said you had a rodent in your hoodie. What old man wears a hoodie? (or maybe, What old man wears a rat in his hoodie???) (ACtually, I saw an elderly gent sporting a duffel coat last week and he looked fantastic).

― Ellie, Thursday, 21 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I get the feeling that this generation will never really get old, in the traditional sense. Although, of course, that may be what the generation of 60 years ago said to themselves, and they may still not consider themselves 'old'. Maybe they aren't. We shall be judged by our grandchildren, and laughed at most probably.

― Ally C, Thursday, 21 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Imagine if you're grandchild was like a Creed fan or something. Who'd be laughing at who?

― N., Thursday, 21 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

They'd still be laughing at me. I'd be old.

― Ally C, Thursday, 21 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Oh yeah.

― N., Thursday, 21 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

busted! Okay okay, hoodies. It's difficult even for an old coot like me to ignore such a startling innovation in sportswear. They're my sole concession to the youth of today, who in my opinion have far too many drawstrings and pockets all over themselves.

― Tracer Hand, Thursday, 21 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

yeah, what do people expect to find that they're going to need so many pockets to carry home?

― fritz, Thursday, 21 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

pokemon cards! (he said, revealing his grate age)

― mark s, Thursday, 21 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Rodents? (I was really tickled by that rat in hood story). I like the young peoples' enormous trousers. (To a Yorkshire person, they look like mansions for ferrets).

― Ellie, Thursday, 21 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I dunno, to me, old age seems scary. It means that I'm supposed to be wise, experienced, all that stuff. It's not that I won't be (maybe), it's just the thought that I have more experience than most of the world that scares me. Of course this doesn't necessarily apply to me because I don't know what's gonna happen between then and now and whatnot. Thinking of myself as old makes me feel a little contented in that I got there, and in one piece, but somehow it also makes me uneasy..

― jen, Thursday, 21 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

nine years pass...

http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2011/aug/14/miranda-sawyer-midlife-crisis-mortality

i enjoyed this?, & though young + vivacious could recognise the truth in a lot of the later perspectives

― bruce actual springsteen (schlump), Sunday, 14 August 2011 00:54 (fourteen years ago)

I literally pray to the God I don't believe in for people to stop being so fucking reflective about aging

feel strongly that every minute spent thinking "how old am I? how much older am I than I once was? how far along am I?" is a minute deeply & permanently wasted

― pathos of the unwarranted encore (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Sunday, 14 August 2011 01:29 (fourteen years ago)

and I felt like something beautiful was rushing at me, moving past and around me at breakneck speed, and I couldn't gather it in and I didn't want to see it go.

Woah. That hit home really hard for me.

― Rameses Street (Trayce), Sunday, 14 August 2011 01:32 (fourteen years ago)

(the "I dont want to let it go" bit in particular)

― Rameses Street (Trayce), Sunday, 14 August 2011 01:33 (fourteen years ago)

I literally pray to the God I don't believe in for people to stop being so fucking reflective about aging

feel strongly that every minute spent thinking "how old am I? how much older am I than I once was? how far along am I?" is a minute deeply & permanently wasted

― pathos of the unwarranted encore (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Sunday, August 14, 2011 3:29 AM (25 minutes ago) Bookmark

I think she answers you accordingly:

But: how lucky to have lasted so long! To have lived long enough to have the luxury of contemplating – of properly fearing – your own death. Rather than it just arrive too early for you to do what you wanted, for you to appreciate what you have, to enjoy the wonder, and the love, and the panic

The luxury of being able to contemplate, of spending a minute thinking about this, doesn't seem "a minute deeply & permanently wasted", well it doesn't to me.

I like how open and honest this article is written. Kudos.

― I for one am (Le Bateau Ivre), Sunday, 14 August 2011 01:57 (fourteen years ago)

i think the 'ageing' thing in isolation is probably boring and a just weird factual strand of what is a much wider area to paddle around in. but it's the lens through which she's looking at her life & at nagging senses of dissatisfaction that are reflexive but totally subjective. i don't usually like any of this kind of thing - like it is veering into that 'how to be happy' school of sociology books - but thought it was kinda refreshing & familiar. i wanted to track down the writings of the cranky old guy who'd mixed up all of his routines to get a better pay-off.

― bruce actual springsteen (schlump), Sunday, 14 August 2011 11:17 (fourteen years ago)

"When I was young, I relished knowing that everything I owned would fit into two black bin bags, that life was portable and I was free. And now, though I appear to be jonesing for a patio, if I'm honest I don't even understand how I became the co-owner of a fridge freezer. How I acquired all this… stuff. Responsibilities. An estate car."

I wondered about this bit. As she's 44, presumably she's been beyond the two black bags for years and had a fridge for years.

I can't quite put my finger on it, but this part didn't ring quite as candid.

― Bob Six, Sunday, 14 August 2011 12:28 (fourteen years ago)

yeah i think that's true - lapses into 'have i betrayed my dumb teenage self', which is sort of a boring/disingenuous comparison & less interesting than 'how do i feel now', a banner under which we've wisely accepted that like we change and that that is fine.

― bruce actual springsteen (schlump), Sunday, 14 August 2011 12:33 (fourteen years ago)

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