why are lawyers so bad, you ask?

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Paid liars, character assassins, cynics, drunks, hacks etc etc etc

― fritz, Friday, 22 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Zappa fans even.

― fritz, Friday, 22 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

i will profit from your misery, or aid you in inflicting misery on others!!

― ethan, Friday, 22 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Hey, after dissing journalists, I guess fair is fair.

I'll bite my tongue, for the moment.

― Tadeusz Suchodolski, Friday, 22 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

i will profit from your misery, or aid you in inflicting misery on others!!

Well, Ethan, you can always represent yourself pro se. Then only the other side's lawyers will profit from your misery.

― Tadeusz Suchodolski, Friday, 22 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

don't do it, ethan! it's a trick!

― fritz, Friday, 22 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

you won't get my soul to join your ranks, SATAN!!

― ethan, Friday, 22 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I think that you'd make a good lawyer, Mr. Padgett.

― Tadeusz Suchodolski, Friday, 22 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

don't listen to him! it's another trick!

― fritz, Friday, 22 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

dude it's like i'm keanu reeves and you're al pacino!

― ethan, Friday, 22 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Dude, you've read my comments in the Scarface thread. You know what I think about Al Pacino!

― Tadeusz Suchodolski, Friday, 22 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

dude i know!!

― ethan, Friday, 22 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

DUDE! Where's my B.A.R.?

― Deadman, Friday, 22 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

But really, they're not, are they? My dad is a lawyer. He is, as far as I am concerned, a nice person, who just happens to make money from a job he spent quite a few years being trained to do. It is a skilled job like any other skilled job. You have to pay people for their skills, and, basically, he works very, very, hard. Oh yeah, a lot of lawyers (including, yes, my dad) work voluntarily for the citizens advice bureau, is that such an awful thing? No.
Some lawyers are bad, but not many. Yes, the majority earn more money than an awful lot of people, and this really seems to be the problem for most people. What is the point in jealousy? Fuck all, especially when a lot of people who complain wouldn't even want to go into the profession in the first place.

― Bill, Saturday, 23 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I think the problem most people have with lawyers is that they are paid to distort the truth.

― Chris Sallis, Saturday, 23 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I think most hatred stems from child custody battles and the often unfair bias towards the father and also the unfair assumption that the mother takes home all the dough. Excluding Texan trophy wives, of course.

― Evangeline, Saturday, 23 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Also annoying that all these politicians have their degrees in law. They should be philosophy/world religions/history majors who have a clue and are a little more sensitive to past hisotry and geographical and religious differences...or at least be trained by the Jesuits like Trudeau. ;)

― Evangeline, Saturday, 23 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

That big Trudeau thing is on CBC next weekend isn't it? I'm quite interested in seeing that.

TV Lawyers - Hate - McBeal, Love - McCoy

― Kim, Saturday, 23 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Hear hear Evangeline.

― Chris, Sunday, 24 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Last night I had a dream about Bill Clinton, who's had his license to practice law revoked in what... Washington D.C. or something? oh boo hoo. He was giving a press conference and looked years younger and extremely happy, like a bobble-head version of himself.

― Tracer Hand, Sunday, 24 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Fuck you. I rock.

― Colin Meeder, Monday, 25 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

does this mean Colin Meeder = Bill Clinton?!?!

― fritz, Monday, 25 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Nah, Colin >> Bill cos bass >> sax.

― RickyT, Monday, 25 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

My instrument is much bigger than Bill's, harhar, although we both went to shitty law schools.

― Colin Meeder, Monday, 25 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

three years pass...

{cough}

― whiteout (bobnope), Wednesday, 12 October 2005 18:34 (twenty years ago)

anonymouslawyer.blogspot.com might only be funny if you work at a law firm, but it's pretty funny if you do.

― carly (carly), Wednesday, 12 October 2005 18:40 (twenty years ago)

Lawyers are much nicer and more ethical and less sleazy than jury consultants.

― Lion-O (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 12 October 2005 18:45 (twenty years ago)

Or "lawyer groupies", as I call them.

― Lion-O (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 12 October 2005 18:46 (twenty years ago)

Lawyers are much nicer and more ethical and less sleazy than jury consultants.

http://www.coasttocoasttickets.com/images/concerts_drphil.jpg

Now @d@m, I *know* you didn't mean that.

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Wednesday, 12 October 2005 18:47 (twenty years ago)

jury consulting seems like such a neat thing! now that you mention it, i guess it is sleazy and i would never use such a thing if i ever had the choice. but the way juries work, i think it's pretty interesting. i worked as a secretary on the losing side of two trials, and it was really neat to look at jury questionaires and imagine how people might think, and how they might interact in a group like a jury, and then to watch them in the courtroom.

it seems so random and scary to call local people in and ask them to decide who's right and then to accept their answer. and so awesome.

― carly (carly), Wednesday, 12 October 2005 18:51 (twenty years ago)

lawyers are bad. So very bad. They generally need sound spankings.

― teeny (teeny), Wednesday, 12 October 2005 18:54 (twenty years ago)

I worked in jury consulting for a very very brief time and I think it is a total sham. I sat in on several juries and whatever you might imagine is going on behind those closed doors, the reality is even more depressing.

― Lion-O (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 12 October 2005 18:56 (twenty years ago)

TS: This diverse group of 12 bored people vs That diverse group of 12 bored people

― Lion-O (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 12 October 2005 18:57 (twenty years ago)

oh, sure, it totally seems like a sham. but i'd like to actually really understand how juries work.

― carly (carly), Wednesday, 12 October 2005 18:57 (twenty years ago)

to be fair, i can understand how 12 people might get bored sitting still, not taking notes, listening to lawyers. although it's pretty indefensible when it's a crimnal trial and people are drifting off.

i was fairly impressed with how attentive a jury was during one of my trials, though i imagine that what happened behind the closed doors was highly depressing (as evidenced by the verdict...)

― carly (carly), Wednesday, 12 October 2005 19:00 (twenty years ago)

I think the idea of lawyers offends Americans by reminding them that there is such a thing as rhetoric and argumentation, as opposed to, umm, straight-shooting mystical revelation of ultimate truth.

― nabisco (nabisco), Wednesday, 12 October 2005 19:25 (twenty years ago)

See also devil's advocates, technicalities, logical endpoints, and other tools of rhetoric, philosophy, and logic.

― nabisco (nabisco), Wednesday, 12 October 2005 19:26 (twenty years ago)

i don't hate lawyers but i think there is waaaaay too much litigation. maybe people hate lawyers because they have become the cost of doing business?

― carly (carly), Wednesday, 12 October 2005 19:33 (twenty years ago)

jury consultants

useless too

― I was CRYING when Magin Johnson did donuts in a magical AIDS thrfit store (dr g), Wednesday, 12 October 2005 19:39 (twenty years ago)

I'm with you, bro!

― Lion-O (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 12 October 2005 19:39 (twenty years ago)

Useless for everything except providing that fat lining in my pocketbook.

― Lion-O (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 12 October 2005 19:41 (twenty years ago)

lawyers are bad. So very bad. They generally need sound spankings.

-- teeny (teen...), October 12th, 2005 3:54 PM. (teeny) (later) (link)

See, if I was really creepy, I'd remind you that I'm a lawyer. And I'm bad.

(god I felt dirty even typing that, I can't help myself tho)

― J (Jay), Wednesday, 12 October 2005 19:44 (twenty years ago)

people have a lot of misconceptions about what lawyers do day in day out and these misconceptions are usually based upon taking 30% of the practising possession and then using its worst 30% as their guide

― cozen (Cozen), Wednesday, 12 October 2005 19:48 (twenty years ago)

lawyers be doing really boring non-contentious work 90% of the time!!!

― cozen (Cozen), Wednesday, 12 October 2005 19:50 (twenty years ago)

People don't hate lawyers, though! They fucking love lawyers! As soon as they get pissed at someone or arrested, who do they start bragging about calling?

― nabisco (nabisco), Wednesday, 12 October 2005 19:51 (twenty years ago)

calling ma lawyer!

― cozen (Cozen), Wednesday, 12 October 2005 19:52 (twenty years ago)

Other reasons people make lawyers:
* Perception that they benefit off the misery of others
* Perception that they often have to argue for something that they don't believe in, which makes them seem like untrustworthy whores
* Perception that they make way more money than we do

― n/a (Nick A.), Wednesday, 12 October 2005 19:55 (twenty years ago)

I talk to lawyers all day long.

― Jeff-PTTL (Jeff), Wednesday, 12 October 2005 19:59 (twenty years ago)

lawyers are bad. So very bad. They generally need sound spankings.

this is why yer OMG KNOCKED UP! right now! ;-)

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Wednesday, 12 October 2005 23:22 (twenty years ago)

Lawyers do often need spankings. Someone hand me a paddle.

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 12 October 2005 23:30 (twenty years ago)

MMM SMELL THE LAW

― I was CRYING when Magin Johnson did donuts in a magical AIDS thrfit store (dr g), Wednesday, 12 October 2005 23:40 (twenty years ago)

Yeah, they're ALL wonderful. ALL of them. They're ALL really nice and people are just jellus.

― mickey raft (mickeygraft), Wednesday, 12 October 2005 23:50 (twenty years ago)

How strange that I once published a book review in which I championed the teaching of "logic and rhetoric" in the schools. Historians and other theorists are not lawyers, however, and they should know this. Historians and scientists devise theories and test them. They are willing to admit they are wrong (or should be) when proven wrong. But scientists, historians and other academics are not lawyers, nor should they operate as lawyers. You put the theories out there, and see if your suspicions are validated. That's not 'mysticism' or 'mystical revelation'. That's called forming a theory based on circumstantial evidence, and that is how scientists work. Historians and critics as well. That's what academic freedom is about.

It ain't a court of law. Thank god, or we'd never get to the bottom of anything.

― mickey raft (mickeygraft), Wednesday, 12 October 2005 23:58 (twenty years ago)

three years pass...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/south_yorkshire/7777957.stm

Two solicitors who took millions of pounds from compensation payouts given to sick miners have been struck off.
Jim Beresford and Douglas Smith, of Doncaster-based Beresfords Solicitors, had denied 11 counts of serious professional misconduct.
The Solicitors' Disciplinary Tribunal heard the men acted "unacceptably" by charging clients even though the government was paying their fees.
It found eight of the 11 allegations against the lawyers proven.
Inadequate advice
The law firm argued there was "absolutely nothing wrong" with earning substantial fees from its business conduct.
Beresford, 58, said last year to be Britain's highest-earning solicitor, and Smith, 52, made millions of pounds from personal injury claims for miners under the government's coal health compensation scheme.
Tribunal chairman David Leverton said: "If ever there was a group of persons who needed the full care and attention from solicitors, it was these miners.
"Mr Beresford described himself as an entrepreneur. Unfortunately, his attitude allowed himself and Mr Smith to put commercial goals before his clients' best interests."
The lawyers were also accused of not giving adequate advice and entering into contingency fee deals against their clients' best interests.
Both men denied the charges at the tribunal hearing last month, which heard that up to 30% of a miner's damages could be deducted by Beresfords.
The compensation scheme was set up by the government because of British Coal's lack of safety standards and led to hundreds of thousands of claims from former miners and their families.
The Department of Trade and Industry (DTI) agreed to pay lawyers' fees in successful cases and it was also agreed that in unsuccessful cases miners would not have to bear costs.
Beresford and Smith's joint earnings went from more than £182,000 in 2000 to £23,273,256 in 2006, the tribunal heard.
But Timothy Dutton QC, appearing for the Solicitors' Regulatory Authority (SRA), said charging conditional or contingency fees over and above those set out in the scheme was "unacceptable".
In one case, the firm deducted a "success fee" from the widow of a miner, leaving her with a total payout of just £217.73, the tribunal heard.

My grandad will be spinning in his grave at this.

― Pfunkboy Formerly Known As... (Herman G. Neuname), Thursday, 11 December 2008 22:08 (seventeen years ago)

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