MarkH Health Check

apparently, it's going to be an ultrasound scan where they smear gel on my belly. Just like if I was pregnant.

Are you definitely not pregnant?

not yet mark: it could be a whole bunch of things, including bad posture while using yr computer...

my friend got sent to the hospital for a swelling on her leg: very sceptical herself — not least because her GP has to be reminded she isn't actually a man every time she sees him — she was seen by a Nigerian who she liked, possibly because he said (after the x- ray) was "The only thing I can think to say is that your legs are very tasty..."

it could be dastoor and emma's lovechild?

Been off my food for a week as well. I can hardly bring myself to eat anything. Sometimes the pain gets really sharp which means I can't sleep or walking along becomes really uncomfortable. The doc did the check for appendicitis this morning so I know I haven't got that.

big non-squeezy get better soon hugs

It could be constipation - have you been regular lately?

I read that as right ialic FOSCA, but not even you could be that indie mark ;) hope yr ok for the gig on wed. will txt you (prolly before you read this)

Hey everyone I'm back! I got out of hospital today, having been admitted following my scan. People had told me that the gel would be ticklish and cold. In fact, it wasn't either, particularly, even tho it was smeared over a larger area than was strictly necessary because the guy doing it was demonstrating to a student. This meant he took the scanner round the back and showed the other guy my kidneys and other irrelevent stuff. But the most important thing was that he found an abscess inside my appendix full of pus which had to be drained off. This involved a second scan (CT this time) where they needed me to sign a consent form for which they left it too late; I was already all lined up ready to go through the polo mint and moving me at that stage would've messed up their settings so I actually gave my consent AFTERWARDS! i then had a tube inserted to drain off the pus into a bag. Fortunately, the abscess was on the side nearest my skin surface, so they didn't have to go in too deep. They told me they were giving me local anaesthetic. If they did then they didn't use enough, because the insertion of the tube was the MOST PAINFUL experience I have ever had! I was then doped up on morphine and my temperature went up to 39°C. I went through a stage of not being able to speak coherent sentences (apparently, morphine is only hallucinogenic if there is no pain for it to work on!) followed by intense sleep. Then I gradually improved, had the drain removed on saturday (done by the nurse on the ward and it hardly hurt at all) and I was off the drip and back on solid food yesterday. Now, a period of R&R at home follows. Cheers, Carsmile, I did get your txt today and will reply tomorrow. I've been looking forward to seeing Belle & Sebastian at Brixton Academy and will probably be there - will confirm tomorrow. I'm still dosed up on antibiotics, so no bouze for a while. I have to attend a clinic in four weeks time with a possible removal of my appendix some weeks after that. Hats off to my girlfriend Emma for searching for various odds and ends in my house - never an easy task even for me (including numerous CDs to ease the boredom....I listened to Belly's "King" and Bettie Serveert's "Dust Bunnies" most often) and props, too, to all the staff at John Radcliffe Hospital, ward 6D, who made my stay if not pleasant, but at least far more bearable than it might've been. Now I must go and get some sleep in my own bed for the first time in a week.......

glad everything ok mark h: get well soon

Blimey Mark, glad yer OK.

holy fuck, i am glad that you are okay

That's frightening! Glad it worked out, though.

wishing you a most speedy further recovery, Mr. H

Wow, glad you're alright. What were you doing collecting pus in your appendix though? It's clearly not a very good idea.

why where do you keep it tracer? it's not as if you need yr appendix for anything else = it is a handy little bag, if pus collection is yr jones

Well done Mark H.

(painful tube insertion = "handy" => mark s = estate agent?)

v.handy for collection, poss.less so for subsequent distribution

markH = f/fitt, RNVTD, all mod cons

you have yr own pus bag - that is sooooo cool. It's like a Ballard story gone apeshit.

Am glad that you are OK though, and getting good rest - take care

Rest, good wishes and more to yer!

weighed myself a moment ago. I'm down from 10 stone (64kg) to 9 stone (57kg). Almost as little as N.! It's a pretty drastic way to diet tho isn't it? No pain now, fortunately. I'm just resting at home at the mo (hence yet another IP address, Mr Moderator) but I've got to get up and take some measurements in the hallway later coz my landlord's father dided recently following a stroke and he's decided to move all the stuff from the old guy's house back here and it includes a PIANO - my landlord doesn't know whether it will fit through the front door!

blimey mark! take it easy eh - don't go helping to move any pianos!

don't worry, Katie, no chance of that. I don't suppose I'll want to be at home very much at all when all the stuff arrives (which includes 1,000 Cds apparently, which seems thrilling in theory but I find it hard to believe that my musical taste corresponds very much with a 70 year old man and his 80 year old wife!). This house is already a rest home for old computers and the elephant's graveyard for assorted artefacts. We even have a hostess trolley for goodness sake! The thought of anything else arriving fills me with real dread; will there be room for those essential things like EATING and SLEEPING I wonder? Doubt it, which is why I intend to spend as much time in the pub as possible as soon as I'm off these curséd antibiotics.

which incidentally are HUGE! Blue capsules of something called cefradine which are 2.6cm long. This may not sound much......until you have to swallow it! "Take with plenty of water" says the label; yeah, you're not kidding!

CRIPES! Are you sure it's not actually bits of the ILLEGAL DRUG Cake??

One inch pills? EEEEEEEEK. Do they think you're a horse or something?

your puss wieghed a stone - fuck, that i s serious.

yeah, it was red too. I thought it was going to be like custard and it was more like rhubarb.