Dr Truman can't save a pet bird

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In not wanting to lower the tone, but some scenes in soap opera's- Classic or Dungeon food.

― chris, Friday, 12 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I think the budgie was beyond saving i.e. DOA. The scene where the poor little fella shot up the vacuum nozzle was atrocious, it was clearly one of Little Mo's old feather dusters.

― Emma, Friday, 12 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Oh, East Enders!

― jel --, Friday, 12 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

What is Trueman's success rate with patients. Has the Albert Sqaure mortality rate increased since he started? (Though admittedly possibly not much he can do about the kind of violent deaths which are a bit workaday round the square).

― Pete, Friday, 12 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I think his patient success rate should be judged more on how many he's shagged rather than how many he's saved. Anyway he isn't practising right now so is off the hook for a while.

― Emma, Friday, 12 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Also, shouldn't more dicsussion be made of this blatant shameless killing of a pointless plotpoint? If they're going to start storyline cul de sacs can they at least have the decency and commitment to bore people to death with them first?

― Graham, Friday, 12 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

("bore to death" = v. insensitive of me. R.I.P. Joey)

― Graham, Friday, 12 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

(Gah, "shameless killing" too. And I made special effort to avoid "deadend". I think I may have to attend the funeral now to compensate)

― Graham, Friday, 12 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Thread mutation: does anyone know of a good pet shop in London? I am going to buy PRESSIES for the famous kitten of 'Awwww!' thread fame!! Yaaaaay! I was going to buy the KITTEN MITTEN from vegancats.com but nah, I want to go to a petshop! I know there's one in Camden on Parkway on the way up to the Spread but I dunno if it's very big...

― Sarah, Friday, 12 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Do you mean that the whole budgie thing is a pointless plotpoint? This is true from a strict plot perspective but in a soap we get to see the developing relationships e.g. here the whole Jim / Dot thing - Joey was like their kid and Jim, the feckless lazy old sod, has killed him! Oh no! What will Dot say when she gets back from Clacton?

― Emma, Friday, 12 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Yeah, I get that's what the point of it was. It's just once they've got a budgie the only thing they can do is lose it or kill it. It's just they could have waited a bit longer, maybe? Dahl still has stuff to do.

― Graham, Friday, 12 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Any decent soap would do a budgie mutating into killer bird routine.

AM I right in think there's a bird in 'Stenders who is also concurrently in Family Affairs? (This question is solely aimed at Emma I fear).

― Pete, Friday, 12 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Bird as in budgie or as in woman? I dunno but this morning on the tube I was sat next to this girl who was reading a FA script! I have not seen it properly for a while so couldn't tell if she was a cast member but I will look out for her. She was giving her email address to the bloke next to her, the hussy.

― Emma, Friday, 12 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Sarah i am sure there is a good pet shop "locally" to you hem hem. the only ones i know are in Woodford and Ilford so not much help... ALTHOUGH i think for the most part pet shops are EVIL - keeping kittens and bunnies locked up in cages etc and selling them before they are old enough and doing away with unsold ones ect. i would check out a large supamarket for treets, they generally have a good selection involving jingly borls and that. or see if there are organic treets on tha webbe (though i know this defeats the whole point of shopping blah blah). OR just send the kitten a ball of wool, a toilet roll and a pencil. or your glasses if you have any. it will get more joy out of these items than all the expensive toys money can buy.

― katie, Friday, 12 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

!! You're so right!! I will!! I will go BALL OF WOOL shopping!!! Grebt!! (Where does one find balls of wool though)?

― Sarah, Friday, 12 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

John Lewis

― Madchen, Friday, 12 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

My mum used to buy her balls of wall from the pet shop.

― Pete, Friday, 12 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Whatever happened to Dr. Legg?

― Andrew L, Friday, 12 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Be careful with wool or yarn or string, because if a kitten eats it, it can be very dangerous.

― rosemary, Friday, 12 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Oh no! I don't want to hurt the kitten!! What do you recommend instead??

― Sarah, Friday, 12 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Bruce Banner + gamma radiation = dangerous Hulk.

Kitten + wool or string = dangerous [what?]

― Tim, Friday, 12 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I recomend spaying for the kitten.

In real life I know Dr Legg got mugged down the countryside walk in Crouch End a couple of years ago. People have no respect for TV doctors these days.

― Pete, Friday, 12 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

A kitten will like something like a rubber ball that they can roll around and chase. Or even some thing stupid and cheap like a paper bag or a cardboard box or the little ring from the caps of milk containers.

― Nicole, Friday, 12 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Kitten + gamma radiation sounds like a fun gift idea.

― Graham, Friday, 12 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

this tale sheds light on dr legg's whereabouts (do not read if you hate ph34r)

― mark s, Friday, 12 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

If a kitten eats string it could DIE!!!

What about a toy mouse? (Especially one that has catnip in it!) Harrods has a pet shop, do the other department stores have pet departments?

― rosemary, Friday, 12 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I think Dr Legge was so traumatised by Ethel's 'mercy killing' at the hands of murderer Dot Cotton that he had to retire.

― Emma, Friday, 12 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Why not get it a dead bird, (perhaps a budgie you have previously accidentally hoovered up) to play with. Cats love dead birds and are inordinately proud of themselves when they drag the corpses across the hallway.

― Pete, Friday, 12 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Or how about human limbs? Our mates' cat Clyde, once the scourge of Brixton, loved gnawing & scratching at those.

― Emma, Friday, 12 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

And especially good as Sarah is broke. Well done Emma.

― Graham, Friday, 12 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I am nothing if not resourceful..... however I am not volunteering my own limbs. I have plans for all 4 of them.

― Emma, Friday, 12 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

We can't have dead kittens, that would be sad.

There's a new housemate coming in to where I live and we will have one, maybe two kittens. Aw. :-) Here's hoping my allergies don't kick in!

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 12 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I want to go to a petshop! I know there's one in Camden on Parkway on the way up to the Spread but I dunno if it's very big

I believe this is the petshop which claims to sell monkeys but, alas, whenever I've been there, they seem to have sold out

― jamesmichaelward, Friday, 12 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Dr Fonseca- best Eastenders character ever. His coming out scene in the toilet (November 1999?)- best Eastenders scene ever.

― Dom Passantino, Friday, 12 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Dr Fonseca's t-shirt, with QUEEN on the front and VIC on the back, was ace.

― Matt DC, Saturday, 13 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

the petshop on parkway sells hamster dragsters. for hamsters who like a "walk on the wild side". that rocks.

my husband would like to say that clyde is a great pet name. if after the cumbernauld football team. not the orangutan on clint eastwood films

― ailsa, Saturday, 13 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

best thread evah. well almost. REVIVAL anyway as I missed this last week.

Family Affairs/Stenders cross over I fear is Debbie ex of Nigel/Debbie -- actress now in piss-poor soap-parody "Family Affairs". Also, actress that played Irene who left Terry some time ago, turns up as a regular in The Bill.

Also how did you fail to mention the Parrot SHop sketch bit. cringe. cringe. I liked the budgie vanishing bit. class.

Has anyone else noticed the over-representation of "good" music in the background. Smiths, Soft Cell (2 songs in the same ep last week), Black Box Recorder. I want to know the radio station they listen to in the caff, and who does the juker in the Vic, eh?

― Alan Trewartha, Monday, 15 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Failure to mention the dead budgie skit down to the fact that it was aired at 8pm on Friday so I didn't see it until Sunday afternoon. Also it was utterly horrifically bad and made me embarrassed for everyone involved.

Actress crossover - well you are right about Debbie who is (was?) Cat in FA but Pete meant the actress who plays Belinda, the 'posh' Slater sister who also plays Charlotte, the girlfriend of Pete Callan in FA (who I once saw in my gym! That was thrilling!).

― Emma, Monday, 15 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Emma wins the stenders throwdown. sigh

― Alan Trewartha, Monday, 15 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Yeah, I was quite pleased they've gone somewhere with the budgie storyline.

I think the point of the dead parrot thing was to make them twattish, and confuse poor Jim, I don't think the scriptwriters were trying to be funny. It was very surreal though, especially as I switched the TV on in the middle of it on Friday.

Spotted yesterday:

Belinda seducing Jamie in the arches: "If Gary's having his breakfast, I'm having mine."
CUT TO:
Close up of Jim in the Cafe cutting into a sausage.

DO YOU SEE??!??!?!?!

― Graham, Monday, 15 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

ALso the pet shop boys (the people in the pet shop) were obviously a gay couple. Another enormous DO YOU SEE. liked their t-shirts though. and b'lindah's carry-on style banter was bizarre too. "oo, that's a large tool, you can service me anytime with your dipstick" (etc)

This all reminds me of the TVgoHome listing for Eastenders which read "Soap opera so transparently fictitious it may as well be set on the fucking moon".

― Alan Trewartha, Monday, 15 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Yes!!! Breakfast!! Aaaaaaaah!

Anyway yes the worst sossidge thing was when Lynne served up a lovely big juicy sossidge to Jonathan but a widdly broken one to Gary, aaaaaaah.

― Sarah, Monday, 15 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I think they were trying to be funny, what with Jim being a Comedy Character and all. They misjudged it woefully.

Since this is a soapy thread it seems like the ideal place to mention the fact that I reprimanded a minor soap star in Sainsbury's last week, some woman who used to play Maria in Family Affairs was ignorant of the queuing system and I had to tick her off for not queuing properly. I really wanted her to say 'do you know who I am?' but she didn't, she just apologised & went to the back of the queue. Bah, celebrities these days are no fun.

― Emma, Monday, 15 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Yes Alang! I loved their tshirts too!

― Sarah, Monday, 15 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

good counter toi "do you know who i am" = "do YOU not know who *I* am??"

― mark s, Monday, 15 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Emma should have said "Do you know who I am?" first.

― Graham, Monday, 15 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Well as the Sainsbury's is right next to my house and I go in there several times a week I have no desire to make the people in there think I am completely insane.

― Emma, Monday, 15 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Baby Sainsbury's does have a very confusing queueing system though so its no slight on the not very famous lady character actress that she got it wrong. Though people do have to be told. (Huzzah I bought Licking On Both Sides in there for 9.99 on Friday.)

― Pete, Monday, 15 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

It's not THAT confusing, however it is only known to regulars and locals. Though surely a person with a brain cell could figure out that everyone is not queuing in one big long line down the middle not behind each till for the good of their health. But I wasn't rude to her, merely firm.

― Emma, Monday, 15 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

B-b-bot what if they are playing the arcane "petrol only" card?

― Pete, Monday, 15 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Well then they go to the end till, they won't let you pay for just food there anyway unless the queue is ginormous & there are no petrol punters. And they don't let you pay for big baskets of food there even if you do have petrol.

― Emma, Monday, 15 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

But you know famous internet journalist Tom Ewing, Emma. No one would doubt your sanity for playing that.

― Graham, Monday, 15 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Talking of famous journalists *cough* (sorry, there's nowhere obvious for me to drop this strange sore-thumb of a fact into the board) but I had a review of a book in last Fri's TLS. It wasn't a great book, and I doubt I'll get any more gigs (pure cronyism you see), but still. Me. In the TLS. I am part of a group of people described as "leading writers". oh yes.

― Alan Trewartha, Monday, 15 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Blmiey Alang! Wot book are this being? SWISH! Did you haf an exciting PENG NAME?

― Sarah, Monday, 15 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Fucking hell Alan, that's brill!

― RickyT, Monday, 15 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

brill if i get paid! (i think this will amount to a slap up meal). I used the ever search-engine-proof "Alan Trewartha". i will be sure to carry it around for me forever so you can all larf non-stop at my pretentious "He hasn't written anything of any length for a while has he" style.

― Alan Trewartha, Monday, 15 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

...crikee, there i go posting a thread with doubts of its longeivity and find no response- go away for the weekend and return to a long list of Dr Truman (and related) speak. Im as proud as punch. And not that i watch these bleedin' soap oprah's everyday (did you see???), but hasn't Hollyoaks gone a bit David Lynch inspired at times, relatively speaking as its a soap/ a little bit leftfield in otherwords- in terms of production.

Tim- isnt the hulks real name Dr 'David' Banner? or am i very much mistaken.

― chris, Monday, 15 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

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