Terrible flavour combinations

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Accidental: Like eating an apple (or any fruit, or yoguhurt, for that matter) too soon after you've cleaned your teeth, or fruit before tea. Or extra-strong mints before coffee. Or an orange before bread. Deliberate: those mentalists who mix any of the following three categories: chocolate, fruit, and booze. I realise this last is a personal idiosyncracy; are the rest?

― Ellie, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Orange{s| juice} before or after cleaning of teeth = grim on a stick, as are mints + coffee. I'm fine with oranges and bread (mmm, marmalade on toast) and tea and fruit (not fruit tea as it is grim hippy drink that is not real tea).

― RickyT, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

HOLD ON, this chocolate/fruit combo includes the MIGHTY WONDER of the chocolate spread/banana sandwich which is HEAVENGLY! The ideal post- apple snack is obviously CHEESE. With soem crustry bread. Followed by port. Mmmmmm.

― Sarah, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

yeah, I agree with the toothpaste stuff!

― jel --, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

recenty i have discovered that Gala apples go v well with black pepper, or tomato. or both!

― katie, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

at my first job the coffee in the machine tasted SO TERRIBLE that i used to reflavour it by dissolving two extra-strong mints in it, this cementing my rep v.early indeed as a mentalist

(also at the same job i once balanced two 2p coins on END on top of one another on my desk, a feat i have never repeated)

― We Have Been Procrastinating Since Before the Internet Was Thought Of, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

You have a chewing gum to make your breath nice for going out (apologies ILE chewing gum hate gang) and then you get the first drink of the evening and gulp down alot of it enthusiastically before realising how minging it tastes with residue of your wrigleys.

― Ronan, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Steak Canaria: thinking of trying the local speciality when out in the Canary Islands I tried this which was no more and no less than a steak with a cooked banana on top. Until I scraped the banana off of course after having one bite.

― Pete, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

This is why chewing gum is a pointless exercise - what's the point in having minty breath for 10 minutes then drinking beer and having beery breath for the rest of the night? Eh? Eh?

I'm sure there are millions of bad flavour combinations but I cannot think of any new ones off the top of my head. Chocolate + red wine is pretty grim. Or as Ellie says, chocolate + any booze. Shame really.

― Emma, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Ha ha, the banana steak thing was very funny. I thought it was a squishy sausage and Pete thought it was just fat until he ate it.

Sarah - how about midori & coke? (Someone once got the order wrong at the bar ha ha and came up with this which I don't think was very popular.)

― Emma, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm guessing most things'd taste minging when mixed with the residue of your wrigleys.
― RJG, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

yep.
― RJG, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

ARGH. shit jokes are rarely a good idea. I was just watching tom have a problem like this on another thread and wondering why it never happened to me.
― RJG, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

someone help, please, katie?? : (

― RJG, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

haha. erm, I don't like drinking milk after smoking a cigarette.

― RJG, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

cor blimey what am i, your friendly neighbourhood saviour from random italics or something? ;)

― katie, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Drinking milk after eating a lamb chop or one of the fattier meats, a thin film of fat just settles on the inside of your mouth and it's so repulsive. Jesus.

you only need the non beery breath for that vital first "hello". or if you're kissing them before you've met them not even then. Of course if they smoke you can just have a few cigarettes and they won't know if it's you or them.

― Ronan, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Sorry the first line of my post can't have been timed well for your arrival katie!

― Ronan, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

aww ronan, it's OK!

― katie, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

small graham on the first night of summer camp, decided for a dare to mix all the condiments (something that had never graced his dinner table before) in with his glass of water, and inevitably vomited the next day and had to go home for two days and didn't get to go caving. I can still taste it.

― Graham, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm impressed you didn't barf instantly.

― RickyT, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I have always hated any supposedly acceptable sweet/savoury combo, ie. pork/apple, raisins/salad, raisins/curry, ham/pineapple, duck/orange, turkey/cranberry. Since I don't eat meat any more I don't have to deal with most of these now, but still remember the evil look a dinner lady once gave me when I whipped my plate out from under her hovering dollop of apple sauce, shouting 'NO! ARE YOU MAD???'

― Archel, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

(Note the "for a dare" in my story is a desperate attempt at justification through embellishment)

― Graham, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Archel is generally right about the whole fruit in savoury food thing, though I do quite like duck & orange and my mum used to do a lovely appley sauce for pheasant. And mango chutney + coronation chicken = num num num.

My parents still insist on offering me apple / cranberry / mint sauce for the pork / turkey / lamb despite the fact that I have NEVER EVER eaten these vile sauces.

― Emma, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Haha I may have worked out where my fear of sweet/savoury comes from, thanks to Graham (inadvertently) jogging my memory: I used to make 'drinks' with whatever I found in the kitchen, based on the adult cocktail model. Sample ingredients: peanut butter, sliced ham (I mean, WHAT??), Smarties, Ribena, yoghurt. Num...

― Archel, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

sweet/savoury apartheid = result of centuries of bourgeois mindwash (aka "commodification of dinner') cf SALMAGUNDY

secret magical cookery ingredient WITH EVERYTHING = more sugar

― mark s, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Many's the time we've discussed the evils of raisins in curry but I think the contentious debate of PINEAPPLES ON PIZZA needs to be regurgitated. Was it RickyT who advocated this fruity lunacy?

― Ronan, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

haha the drinks/meat apartheid is surely a kantian synthetic a priori, howevah, hence the outcome to archel's daring conceptual transgressions

― mark s, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Good god man, no! Pineapple on pizza is a foul abomination practised only by cads, bounders and the criminally insane.

― RickyT, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

the veneziana pizza at pizza hut has sultanas (NOOO!!) and pine kernels (quite yum actually) on it. and mint isn't sweet it can be either sweet or savoury!

― katie, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Ah thank god! It may have been Ned then! I vaguely remember some sort of debacle. Let the witch hunt continue.

― Ronan, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Actually my 'criminally insane' BF has worn down my resistance sufficiently that I will now eat pineapple on pizza. Well, if it's a choice between pineapple pizza or NO PIZZA AT ALL... what's a girl to do?

― Archel, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Take the pineapple off before eating it?

― RickyT, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Midori and coke - once attempted, never had again. What kind of loon thinks midori and coke is acceptable anyway?? Hello John and Magnus, ahem.

Pineapple on pizza = mmmm NUM NUM, listen not to the badgery boy.

― Sarah, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Yes create a pile of pineapples on the side of the plate as a symbol for the sulky child within you.

They put mandarins on the "make while you wait" pizzas in one of the supermarkets over here. I mean who the hell are we in Ireland to go tinkering around with pizza recipes?

― Ronan, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Pineapple on pizza = instant projectile spew. Bleah.

My brother once made me a peanut butter and mustard sandwich. It was very tasty. My attempt to recreate it was not successful, though. I also used to put baking soda in orange juice because I liked the fizz. I was a very odd child.

― Dan Perry, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Well if only it were that simple RickyT. Picking pineapple off pizza implies total dissatisfaction with relationship. Apparently.

― Archel, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Also, picking off pineapple from pizza garners the same result as picking off the cucumber from Benjys eggo mayo and cucumbero sammiches - whilst the cucumber is gone, its RESIDUE IS STILL THERE, ruining what could have been a perfectly acceptable sandwich to a weak and feeble goo. CHIZ. Moral: embrace the pineapple.

― Sarah, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Dan's story reminds me of some time last year when I was making cheese sauce for pasta and I used custard powder instead of corn flour. It didn't seem to make any difference.

― Ronan, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

It is not that easy to pick pineapple off pizza either as they often hide pieces under the cheese and you inadvertently come across vile lumps of sweet pineapple when you least expect it. I'm sure forcing your unpleasant pizza habits onto your partner is grounds for dumping / divorce / withholding sexual favours. The ideal man 1. lets you pick the toppings 2. pays for the pizza 3. does not wrinkle his nose in disgust when you insist on having the cold remains for breakfast and 4. lets you have the bigger slice out of the two that are left.

(I know mint sauce isn't sweet Katie in fact it's very vinegary, it's just one of the many things that must not go near my roast dinner.)

― Emma, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Liquorice followed by wine -- very much a dud.

― Colin Meeder, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

In my Mum's Joy Of Cooking book, recipe 58 I believe (in Drinks and Sorbets);

Orange Milkshake 1/2 Pint of milk 3 Tbsp Orange Squash concentrate.

Add the milk to the squash and stir thoroughly to prevent curdling. Best drunk cold.

I had to shave my tongue afterwards.

― Pete, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

apple pie without the cheese is like a hug without the squeeze.

but Pineapple on pizza is nearly as bad as Caesar Pie.

― chris, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Aren't apple sauce and mint sauce just relics of an age when any meat anyone had was just rancid and needed the flavour killed?

Another prob with pineapples is the juice obviously.

― Ronan, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

shall even Momus defend this?

― mark s, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

peanut butter and jellyfish, would you be my sandwich

― jel --, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I would so try that seafood special! I had octopus before, it was small and prawnlike in taste.

― Ronan, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Pineapple on pizza = instant projectile spew. Bleah.

My twin is ill or deranged, since this combination is a GLORIOUS and GOOD thing.

Mistake sometimes made in the morning -- brushing one's teeth, then immediately having some orange juice. EURGH.

― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Bloody hell, some truly terrible things have been done in the name of pizza toppings. I think my ultimate pizza turn off is tandoori chicken though (tandoori chicken on its own is lovely mind you).

Ronan next time I am offered the offending sauces I will say 'why, mum, is this meat rancid?' and see how she reacts. Violently, I predict.

― Emma, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I had pizza in Japan. They don't understand how to make bread, hence the dough was rather pastry-like buyt the prawns on mine were fine (cheese is a bit limited too).

― Pete, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Skipping 10 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

Mark delights in mediocrity.

― Graham, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Pizza Hut, sell your soul for our all the filthy mushy tasteless "pizza" you can eat.

Alternatively have some shit pizza in a wacky shape with dips for your crust. Also try our garlic bread, known in homes all over the world as "toast".

― Ronan, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

boyfwiend (apologies to tim "irony-free" bateman NOT) puts salad cream on just about all his food, including pizza and curry. we have tried to explain that this is WRONG, no success so far.

― katie, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

And lets put cheese in the crust for no apparent reason

― RickyT, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

It shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone that I accidentally read Mark's post as saying "nutella's chocolatey wang". (PH33R TH33 G00GL3RZ!)

― Dan Perry, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I know! Instead of pizza as we know it, maybe some enterprising chain could do just pizza crust with a selection of 'dips' that are in fact popular well known toppings e.g. pizza crust with cheese dip / tomato dip / anchovy dip / olive dip (not tapenade that would be too posh) / jalapeno dip thereby REVOLUTIONISING the world of both pizza and dips.

― Emma, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Salad cream on CURRY???? ugh that is so mind bendingly digusting, does it all go swirly and turn a mawkish beige? You must be very much in love.

― Ronan, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

heh just as well innit really ronan?

― katie, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

yep!, hehe i have this mental image of salad cream floating on top of curry, it reminds me of that milky way two tone spread except nougat and chocolate obviously go together better.

― Ronan, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Mmm, nougat and curry...

― Dan Perry, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

CORONATION CHICKEN!! yr anti-monarchist disloyalty disgusts me!! salad cream w.curry powder = nummy (but everything on this thread = nummy) (clue: i haf been on a salad only diet for three days)

― mark s, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

It's mayonnaise not sald cream - that's why it's not grim.

― RickyT, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

MUST you mention salad cream. For that culinary crime alone the UK is damned.

― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I like salad cream but only on crackers with cheese if there's nothing else in the house and my stomach is doing flips.

― Ronan, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Salad Cream = our final solution to WWII if the Nazi's ever made it to Britain. Unfortunately unlike nuclear waste it was impossible to dump the stuff without causing a major ecological crisis. Does anyone remember the advert where the celery would bend to get into the SC? (Very anti-phallic).

Still happy days as a youth with Salad Cream and Spam sandwiches.

― Pete, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

YOUR TWISTED YOUTH IS NOW CLEAR TO ME. This diet warped your sensibilities.

― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Just to clarify: salad cream = Miracle Whip + pain?

― Dan Perry, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I have no idea what hellish ingredients go into a bottle of salad cream. Oh Pete, if only you had been reared on avocado like I was (oh god that sounds both painful and physically impossible).

― Emma, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Roughly. More accurately it's a vile hybrid of mayonnaise and vinagrette with 50000 tonnes of added sugar. It is grim.

― RickyT, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

You now have a sense of it, Dan. Now imagine a perfectly wonderful, grand salad being slathered with it, especially if used in one of those squeeze bottles Subway uses for its mayonaise.

― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Emma = Karen Finley? *hides*

― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

This thread is making it very tempting for me to order a NUM NUM Hawaiian pizza tonight! We got the poshest pizza leaflet EVER the other day, from BRASILICO with their marinated olives and pizza funghi au truffle and they only come in size 13" or 18"! GOR! They do not offer a 'hawaiian' although pineapple is an optional topping! They DO have mmmm EGGY PIZZA though. Mmmm. EG.

― Sarah, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

EG = DG's other brother?

― Dan Perry, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

No! You eat it with [toasted] BRED in the form of boiled EG and soldiers. Mmmmmm I know what I am having for tea. Actually, I will make carrot and ginger soup (if my carrots have not died of malnutrition. Dear god this may mean doing some cleaning of the kitchen. Urg).

― Sarah, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Salad cream is truly Satan's jism. I would spit on it, but that could only improve it.

― Archel, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Oh dear, Dan and I thinking similar thoughts right now.

― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

'are' thinking, yes.

― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Salad Cream vs American Mustard - FITE!

― Pete, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Sorry, I already made my filthy post of the day about Jade's mom. Um, wait...

― Dan Perry, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I really like salad cream with ready salted crisps.

I used to enjoy eating oxo cube sandwiches when I was younger, or alternatively dissolving oxo cubes in fizzy water from my family's Sodastream machine.

― Christopher Lyons, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

The work of satan himself.

http://www.prodhelp.com/oral_care17.shtml

After one of these toothpaste and OJ isn't really that bad.

― brg30, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Toothpaste followed by marmite tastes like cheese and makes a super vegan alternative.

― N,, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Nooooo. This is the horribilist food evah thread. Please make them stop, make them STOP.

― DavidM, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

chocolate, fruit...

B-but Ellie, you are dismissing the greatness of orange-flavoured chocolate! And, come to think of it, anything associated with chocolate is great. Indeed, there is probably nothing that is not improved by a coating of chocolate, and I include all present in that.

― Martin Skidmore, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

marmite + nutella (mark swears it's good but i think he is still pregnant)

― geeta, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Martin: nooo, orange-flavoured chocolate is fine (and my favourite, especially the rare Frys Orange Creme). I meant real fruit and real chocolate. 'Real' fruit and real chocolate and booze altogether is just a pile-up of category errors, handily exemplified in the horror of the Black Forest Gateau.

I really like salad cream with ready salted crisps. - Better yet, the crisp and salad cream sandwich. Salt 'n' vinegar crisps, mind, and white sliced bread, natch.

― Ellie, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Mmm, I love food threads that are dominated by English (and Irish) ILXers. (ok, blech, no I don't, are they all insane?) Ronan says "tuna is on a lot of pizzas." I must argue that is NOT on a lot of pizzas, although I now fear there are places in the world where it is. Hearing the words "salad" and "cream" together gives me a chill; is this what the product is really called? Is it the same thing as "salad dressing"?

― Sean, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Pineapple on pizza = instant projectile spew. Bleah.

My twin is ill or deranged, since this combination is a GLORIOUS and GOOD thing.

I should have known that a Californian would stand up for this revolting combination. And fresh pineapple is too a wonderful thing to be wasted by being baked into a Pizza Hut pizza.

― j.lu, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

A PIZZA HUT pizza? Are you deranged? Give me minimal credit at least, please. As for the rest of the world not understanding why pineapple pizza is worthy, clearly that is your loss and Our Gain.

― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Only a Californian. Pineapple pizza is wretched.

― Vinnie, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

And like j.lu pointed out, pineapple and pizza are both delicious separately! You really got some explaining to do, Ned...

― Vinnie, Wednesday, 24 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I have no explaining at all to do with you characters! I just see it as another grand advantage California has in general, along with dry non-humid summer heat, mild winters, more Vietnamese restaurants than you can shake a stick at...

― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 25 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Why are you wanting to shake a stick at Vietnamese restaurants? Are you some kind of racist?

― N., Thursday, 25 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Then I shall pick you up and shake YOU at them instead.

― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 25 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

red wine and cheese and onion crisps is horror and disgust itself.

― what what, Saturday, 27 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Red wine & cheese by itself can be good, especially if it's pinot noir. I just discovered a horrible flavor combination by accident- I bought yummy peppermint lip balm, but then tried drinking orangina a minute after applying it. bleeeeeech!

― lyra in seattle, Saturday, 27 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

don't listen to those californians. i tried to order a plain ol' cheese omelette once in a diner in northern CA. they put avocados and sprouts in it!! ew!

also be careful they don't stick those 'wheatgrass' lawn clippings in when yr not looking

― geeta, Sunday, 28 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

sprouts = BRUSSELS sprouts!!??

― mark s, Sunday, 28 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

don't listen to those californians.

They were too busy laughing at your Boston accent to take your order properly. It is not your fault. ;-)

― Ned Raggett, Sunday, 28 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

two years pass...

Don't mess with the West, geeta.

― .adam (nordicskilla), Monday, 10 January 2005 16:45 (twenty-one years ago)

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