baby jokes

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
one, if you throw it hard enough.

How can you fit three babies in a barrel?
with a blender

How do you get them out?
with nachos

― A Nairn (moretap), Monday, 7 October 2002 21:34 (twenty-three years ago)

how mean and awful i am completely shocked and horrified by this and intend to complain loudly to anyone who will listen..!!!!
got any more?
:-)

― donna (donna), Monday, 7 October 2002 21:45 (twenty-three years ago)

how do you make a dead baby float?

A root bear, one scoop vanilla ice cream, one scoop dead baby

― donut bitch (donut), Monday, 7 October 2002 22:08 (twenty-three years ago)

whats blue and sits in a corner

a baby in a plastic bag

whats green and sits in a corner

that same baby a week later

― boxcubed (boxcubed), Monday, 7 October 2002 22:40 (twenty-three years ago)

I loved those jokes haven't heard them in years

So here's the nastiest ones I knew:

Q: What's the difference between a trailor of sand and a trailor of babies?
A: You can't unload the sand with a pitchfork.

Q: Whats grosser than a pile of 1000 dead babies?
A: The one in the middle eating its way out.

― tigerclawskank, Monday, 7 October 2002 23:03 (twenty-three years ago)

What do you get when you cut up a baby?
An erection.

― webber (webber), Monday, 7 October 2002 23:14 (twenty-three years ago)

OK thats even worse, mine were quite reasonable but clearly you are a sick puppy.

― tigerclawskank, Monday, 7 October 2002 23:16 (twenty-three years ago)

What's red and bubbly and claws at the window?
Baby in a microwave.

― , Tuesday, 8 October 2002 04:10 (twenty-three years ago)

Q: What's the difference between a trailor of sand and a trailor of babies?
A: You can't unload the sand with a pitchfork.

Dammit, I was going to tell the same joke but with a truckful of bowling balls instead.

― Miss Laura, Tuesday, 8 October 2002 07:29 (twenty-three years ago)

how do you keep a baby from crawling around in circles

nail its other hand to the floor

― boxcubed (boxcubed), Tuesday, 8 October 2002 07:42 (twenty-three years ago)

why do babies have soft spots on their heads

so you can carry five on each hand

― boxcubed (boxcubed), Tuesday, 8 October 2002 07:44 (twenty-three years ago)

whats the difference between a baby and a trampoline

you take your shoes off when you jump on the trampoline

― boxcubed (boxcubed), Tuesday, 8 October 2002 07:46 (twenty-three years ago)

"Q: What's the difference between a trailor of sand and a trailor of babies?
A: You can't unload the sand with a pitchfork."

This joke has a sequel, but it's visual, and involves a great deal of struggle with the pitchfork.

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Tuesday, 8 October 2002 07:52 (twenty-three years ago)

what's the worst part about having sex with a 4 year old?

getting blood on yr clown suit.

― gabriel rodriguez-doerr (gabe), Tuesday, 8 October 2002 08:55 (twenty-three years ago)

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