If Musicians Were Pro-Wrestlers...

"Everyone" likes them, but 95% of the major audience vaguely know who they are or find them boring. Fans respect their long and varied career path, culmulating with a short reign on top. Today, they're not the top dogs but still earn respect for their work. Chris Benoit or Sonic Youth?

Short performances and seemingly limited. Got enormously popular anyhow. Goldberg or the Ramones?

Created a buzz on the semi-underground level and then made a huge splash upon their debut. Excitement and anticipation over this future major talent were high. Critics love them. Then, despite relatively strong showings, their pushes got scaled back and labeled a disappointment. Don't make much noise despite occasional half-hearted pushes. Chris Jericho or Liz Phair?

Should retire already. Undertaker or Mick Jagger?

Let's not even start with all the deaths from un-natural causes in both industries.

Bob Dylan = Ric Flair (been around for a long time, still cool)

Aerosmith = Hulk Hogan (been around for a long time, not cool anymore)

J-Lo = The Rock (changed profession to movie star, still comes back occasionally, people are beginning to get sick of)

It's hard to do people like Big Show and Lex Luger (i.e. people with big "pushes" that no one ever seemed to get into) because that doesn't happen as often in the music industry (anymore), since even groups like Creed do actually have huge followings, talent or no.

Someone do Bret Hart or Eddie Guerrero.

The Vines?

The Strokes = Brock Lesnar?

El-P would be one of those crazy ultra-flashy weirdo indy cruiserweights like Low-Ki or American Dragon. Even if he looks like the Undertaker.

Tom Waits would be Eddy Guerrero. I don't know quite how to explain this except that "they are both gifts from God and Jesus and Allah".

Man this thread is fun.

The Von Erichs : The Beach Boys
Controlled by their father, extremely innovative and immitated by their comtemporaries, destroyed by drugs.

The Neptunes or a cruiserweight division? (Thus "Britney" = The Oddities vs Kae En Tai)

Necro or Wifebeater?

And then they bombed. A huge, money haemmoraghing disaster. They kept trying to promote them, to let them do whatever they wanted, but it just got them further in the hole. They had no choice but to cut their contract. Now, the individual in question has just made a smalltime comeback, probably full aware that they're a joke in the industry, and they'll never come back to their full strength again. Also known for their massive ego.

Mariah Carey or Vince Russo?

Owen Hart = Chris Bell (Big Star - the better talented one who died the earlier tragic death.)

Andrew WK = Demolition!

Taking that further (while ignoring face/heel structure and current feuds and angles):
...In Search Of=Rey Mysterio Jr. vs, Kurt Angle (not technically a 'cruiserweight' feud, but felt a lot like one, and actually managed to be better than most of the feuds in that division.)

Justin Timberlake=Jamie Noble's title run: A former 'boy band' type (N'SYNC/3 Count) gets a boost of cred by retooling himself, underscoring his affiliation with the state of Virginia as a [Neptunes collaborator/deranged redneck]. This, unsettlingly, might make Timbaland Nidia.

The Clipse=Billy Kidman vs. Tajiri: There was potential here for greatness, with lots of great moments of flashiness [unusual beats/Tajiri's Muta/Masaaki Mochizuki*-esque fighting style], but there wasn't anything particularly spectacular about [Malice and Pusha T/Kidman] except ["Grindin'"/the Shooting Star Press]. Not bad, but very disappointing.

The tracks from Common's Electric Circus=James Maritato (aka 'Cousin Nunzio'): Brought in with much fanfare, crammed with tons of potential and with years of experience under his belt. Unfortunately, there was baggage: he didn't have a lot of skills on the mic. As a result, he hasn't been embraced by [radio/the bookers] as well as he should and therefore is doomed to [modest-at-best chart success/being clobbered in squash-pseudo-handicap matches by boring fat guys] for the forseeable future. (Actually, this sounds like almost everyone in the WWE's light-heavyweight/cruiserweight division since 1998.)

*I think when I start mentioning Toryumon workers I severely risk getting to esoteric for my own good. Time to go back to bed.

It's an intelligent, modern, revolutionary style, sure, but, at heart, it's nothing more than a basic comedy gimmick. Much loved by the "smarts", it's far too goofy to ever be embraced by the mainstream.

MC Paul Barman or The Hurricane?