Most unsexy song about sex?

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"...sky rockets in flight... afternoon delight..."

― My name is Kenny (My name is Kenny), Friday, 14 March 2003 04:38 (twenty-three years ago)

any hiphop-rnb chartbuster the last 5 years. if i hadn't found good ways of blocking it out/avoiding it i would probably have lost all interest in sex. that shit is bloody anti-sexy.

― zzz, Friday, 14 March 2003 04:52 (twenty-three years ago)

it's funny you should mention skyrockets in flight. my mom was on a mad mp3 search for it and i asked why and she said she found it so subversive. because it's so sicky-sweet bland pop and it's about fucking. i guess captain and tennille were like that too. they were so wholesome and actually sang about nasty stuff. maybe there should be another thread about hiding controversial lyrical content inside of very unassuming poppy music.

but personally, that song creeps me out.

― lolita corpus (lolitacorpus), Friday, 14 March 2003 05:32 (twenty-three years ago)

"Closer"

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Friday, 14 March 2003 05:36 (twenty-three years ago)

that's the '70s in a nutshell--EVERYBODY, no matter how bland, was getting laid

― M Matos (M Matos), Friday, 14 March 2003 05:36 (twenty-three years ago)

"O What A Night" or whatever that travesty is called.

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Friday, 14 March 2003 05:40 (twenty-three years ago)

Special A.K.A. feat. Rhoda Dakar's "The Boiler," though "sex" is probably overstating its subject

― M Matos (M Matos), Friday, 14 March 2003 05:44 (twenty-three years ago)

Also Rod's "Tonight's the Night" with that godawful "spread your wings.." line.

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Friday, 14 March 2003 05:46 (twenty-three years ago)

I love Rod's "Tonight's the Night."

Johnny Gill's "Rub You the Right Way," esp. the way he yells "Get undressed and slip on this robe!" Yes sir! Right away sir!

― M Matos (M Matos), Friday, 14 March 2003 05:49 (twenty-three years ago)

"Sugar Walls" by Sheene Easton

"It's a place where all the good children go."

Can we leave children out of this, please?

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Friday, 14 March 2003 05:51 (twenty-three years ago)

"here baby, hold my jacket"

― jess (dubplatestyle), Friday, 14 March 2003 05:52 (twenty-three years ago)

Whatever that Led Zeppelin song is where Plant says "squeeze my lemon til the juice runs down my leg". Ewwww.
(It's the Lemon Song, isn't it?)

― oops (Oops), Friday, 14 March 2003 05:58 (twenty-three years ago)

dwarves - let's fuck

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Friday, 14 March 2003 05:59 (twenty-three years ago)

i guess captain and tennille were like that too. they were so wholesome and actually sang about nasty stuff.

"muskrat love," anyone? (which, astonishingly enough, was a cover song!)

― Tad (llamasfur), Friday, 14 March 2003 06:04 (twenty-three years ago)

And of course there's John Mayer with "Youh Bahee Iha Wahhnlaannn."

― My name is Kenny (My name is Kenny), Friday, 14 March 2003 06:13 (twenty-three years ago)

KISS -- "Let's Put the X in Sex"
(love's like a muscle and you make me wanna flex)

From those unmasked years. Sad.

― Jesse Fox Mayshark (Jesse Fox), Friday, 14 March 2003 06:17 (twenty-three years ago)

Touch Me - Samantha Fox

― paul cox (paul cox), Friday, 14 March 2003 06:34 (twenty-three years ago)

Whatever that Led Zeppelin song is where Plant says "squeeze my lemon til the juice runs down my leg". Ewwww.
(It's the Lemon Song, isn't it?)

it's not any sexier when robert johnson sings it

― jess (dubplatestyle), Friday, 14 March 2003 06:37 (twenty-three years ago)

i knew that was an RJ song but I assumed Led Zep added that lyric.

― oops (Oops), Friday, 14 March 2003 06:38 (twenty-three years ago)

haha the first time i heard it, it was just "ew"

― jess (dubplatestyle), Friday, 14 March 2003 06:41 (twenty-three years ago)

greil marcus never told me about that!

― jess (dubplatestyle), Friday, 14 March 2003 06:41 (twenty-three years ago)

"Raping a Slave" by Swans

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Friday, 14 March 2003 06:56 (twenty-three years ago)

that one berlin song

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 14 March 2003 08:47 (twenty-three years ago)

Record exec's tattooed son: "come my lady, come come my lady..."
Lady: "you have to actually make we want to, you know."

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Friday, 14 March 2003 09:24 (twenty-three years ago)

i wanna sex you up by color me badd would probably win that prize in my book

― leigh (leigh), Friday, 14 March 2003 10:23 (twenty-three years ago)

How about Thinking Fellers Union Local 282's "The Piston and the Shaft"?

You're the hard spot on my seat
I'm the drooling bitch in heat
I'm your gravy baster gun
You're my creamy, squishy bun
We got a funny situation, you and me
We're the beaver and the hog
But who's biting what and what's eating whom
We're a dripping marsh full of frogs

― Douglas (Douglas), Friday, 14 March 2003 12:13 (twenty-three years ago)

anything by peaches

― ambrose (ambrose), Friday, 14 March 2003 12:37 (twenty-three years ago)

Has Jordan released a single yet? Cos if so it'll probably be that.

I wonder what happened to Caggy BB1's predicted singing "career"

― j0e (j0e), Friday, 14 March 2003 12:40 (twenty-three years ago)

Oh gawd. I'd forgotten this...

HAL featuring Gillian Anderson "In Extremis"

Yuck yuck. Nastee

― j0e (j0e), Friday, 14 March 2003 12:41 (twenty-three years ago)

as he is so incredibly unsexy, hearing Prince sing about sex can be a bit unnerving. Thinking of it, though - all he sings about is sex...?

― russ t, Friday, 14 March 2003 12:43 (twenty-three years ago)

thank you russ, you just reminded me of the ugliest album cover ever...

― j0e (j0e), Friday, 14 March 2003 12:53 (twenty-three years ago)

LaTour's horribly wince-inducing "People are still having sex." Hands down.

― maria b (maria b), Friday, 14 March 2003 17:34 (twenty-three years ago)

Just about every song that contains the word "booty".

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 14 March 2003 18:09 (twenty-three years ago)

not quite sure if "my sex" by ultravox is the most unsexy song about sex of if indeed it is the sexiest song about sex...I guess it depends on what kinda fetish you have...but see for yourself:

"My sex is often solo, sometimes it shortcircuits then, sometimes its a golden glow, my sex is invested in suburban photographs, skyscrapers, shadows on a car-crash overpass"

― geeg, Friday, 14 March 2003 18:52 (twenty-three years ago)

Totally "Closer"

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Friday, 14 March 2003 19:01 (twenty-three years ago)

A close call between the following:

W.A.S.P: "Animal (Fuck Like a Beast)"
Bloodhound Gang: "The Bad Touch"

― Geir Hongro (GeirHong), Friday, 14 March 2003 19:28 (twenty-three years ago)

"The Penis Song" by Monty Python could possibly also be considered quite unsexy (but still very funny) :-)

― Geir Hongro (GeirHong), Friday, 14 March 2003 19:29 (twenty-three years ago)

Or anything ever recorded by Divine for that matter...

― Geir Hongro (GeirHong), Friday, 14 March 2003 19:33 (twenty-three years ago)

The Monochrome Set, "The Mating Game." The verses:

Kiss, lick, stroke, flick
Quiver, quiver, shake and shiver, baby, wow
Un-clasp, flop, gasp
Sopping, sopping, there's no stopping now

Squeeze, suck, pinch, pluck
Wobble, wobble, grab and gobble, darling, moan
Un-zip, ooze, drip
Dippy, dippy, wet and slippy, groan

Bend, peel, slap, squeal
Doggie, doggie, shudder, on your bended knee
Thrust, pump, spurt, slump
Ciggy, ciggy, puff, puff, cough and wheeze

― Amateurist (amateurist), Friday, 14 March 2003 19:38 (twenty-three years ago)

Clarence Carter "Strokin'"

I stroke it to the east
And I stroke it to the west
And I stroke it to the woman that I love the best, huh
I be strokin´

― david day (winslow), Friday, 14 March 2003 22:13 (twenty-three years ago)

Khia - My Neck, My Back

or something along those lines. heh

― Andrzej B. (Andrzej B.), Saturday, 15 March 2003 01:11 (twenty-three years ago)

I love seeing threads like this one where I can just use the 'find' command, ignore the entire conversation and quickly post the correct answer without having to wade through the blather

Peter Gabriel - "Sledgehammer"

― Millar (Millar), Saturday, 15 March 2003 02:08 (twenty-three years ago)

"please forgive me" bryan adams.

― di smith (lucylurex), Saturday, 15 March 2003 02:40 (twenty-three years ago)

Devo - "(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction"

― Evan (Evan), Saturday, 15 March 2003 18:10 (twenty-three years ago)

R Kelly - You Remind Me Of My Jeep

― phil-two (phil-two), Saturday, 15 March 2003 18:39 (twenty-three years ago)

Mr. Bungle : "Squeeze Me Macaroni"

― Dr. Annabel Lies (Michael Kelly), Saturday, 15 March 2003 19:37 (twenty-three years ago)

The second part of "Do You Love Me" on Nick Cave's Let Love In where he mentions about a some diquieting transaction in a theatre......

The clock of my boyhood was wound down and stopped
And my handsome little body oddly propped
And my trousers right down to my ankles
Yes, it's on onward! And Upward!
And I'm off to find love!
Do you love me? If you do, I'm thankful

....EEEEK!

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Saturday, 15 March 2003 21:47 (twenty-three years ago)

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