1)Blare the Ketchup song into Baghdad at full volume and watch Saddam surrender as he admits he cannot take anymore.
2) Send ILM postee Pashmina into lecture the Iraqi troops about sexual ethics and watch them all fall asleep. America and co. can now slip into the city unnoticed.
3) Get Avril Lavigne to give Saddam some much needed oral relief in exchange for vital information... (well, you would tell her anything right?)
4) Get Bush to win over the Iraqi people by covering every song on Lionel Ritchie's Greatest Hits album while juggling some empty bottles of beer and riding a tricycle.
5) Threaten to stage a free concert by Ronan Keating EVERY SINGLE FUCKING DAY in Baghdad unless Saddam leaves the area.
6) Weapons of mass destruction? Hah! That's nothing compared to 'weapons of sexual destruction' - simple, bomb Iraq with Viagra and turn all the men into slavering shag beasts!!! Love will conquer all!!!
7) Give Saddam a free trip to Disneyworld so he can see that America aint all bad and that Space Mountain is fun, fun, fun everyone (even mad dicatators).
8) Have Chris Martin from Coldplay read a new Agatha Christie mystery in a suitably deadpan voice on Baghdad radio every night. That way the Iraqi troops will want to stay alive in order to find out 'whodunnit' and as a result refuse to get involved in any form of violence.
9) Emma Bunton. Green skirt. Iraqi troops. Would YOU notice few thousand enemy troops sneaking past you???
10) Have Tony Blair promise to fellate himself if Saddam leaves. That way the international community will see that Tony has a sense of humour and it's a promise that even Saddam will want to see carried out...
― Calum Robert, Monday, 17 March 2003 22:54 (twenty-three years ago)
1) are there any nightclubs in Baghdad? what kind of drinks do they sell? what kind of music is played? the mind boggles...
2) what is the most successful western film of all time in Iraq?
3) what is the biggest selling CD of all time in Iraq?
4) can you access ILX from an internet cafe in Baghdad?
5) what was Saddam like aged 8 years old?
6) is Saddam's nob smaller than Bin Laden's?
i think the answer to all these questions might be 'stevem you are an idiot' and for #6 'why are you so interested in the genitalia of the world's nastiest men?'
― stevem (blueski), Monday, 17 March 2003 23:28 (twenty-three years ago)
― Ferg (Ferg), Monday, 17 March 2003 23:40 (twenty-three years ago)
― Nik (Nik), Monday, 17 March 2003 23:50 (twenty-three years ago)
Bin Laden: Huge nob. It's not his height that gives it away, but rather the length of his arms.
Sadaam: Rather unimpressive, though not small. Probably a bit veiny and spent-looking at his age, even at full mast.
Hope that helps.
― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Tuesday, 18 March 2003 00:18 (twenty-three years ago)
― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 18 March 2003 00:27 (twenty-three years ago)
Calum should take something to offset some apparently monstrous side effects of puberty.
― donut bitch (donut), Tuesday, 18 March 2003 00:29 (twenty-three years ago)
― maria b (maria b), Tuesday, 18 March 2003 04:18 (twenty-three years ago)
― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Tuesday, 18 March 2003 05:10 (twenty-three years ago)
― maria b (maria b), Tuesday, 18 March 2003 05:35 (twenty-three years ago)
brought me a little welcome relief on a hard night.
― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Tuesday, 18 March 2003 06:07 (twenty-three years ago)
Go lick a toilet seath fugbreath... your not worthy of my classy wit.
― Calum, Tuesday, 18 March 2003 16:54 (twenty-three years ago)
― dave225 (Dave225), Tuesday, 18 March 2003 18:04 (twenty-three years ago)