YNGWIE!

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Back in my late-eighties metal-lovin' adolescence, I never had much use for Yngwie Malmsteen. My tastes in metal ran more towards thrash, grindcore and death metal, not to mention the classic early stuff (Sabbath, Maiden and Motorhead). Yngwie was the very personification of everything that was wrong with mainstream metal at the time, and against which the foregoing was supposedly reacting -- flatulent, self-indulgent and interminable guitar solos, poofy hair, egomania on a scale that Pol Pot or Ayn Rand would have found offputting; in three words, flash over substance. Plus rumor had it that Yngwie was one of the biggest assholes ever to walk the planet (and as eloquent a refutation to the notion that the Swedes are the most civilized people on Earth as any).

Yet, last night when I was flipping through the radio, one of his songs came on and I was (in spite of myself) temporarily floored. What's up with that?

― Tadeusz Suchodolski, Sunday, 26 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Even a blind monkey finds a banana. According to those naughty-minded souls at the evilly funny Metal Sludge site, Yngwie is still doing the rounds in clubs and still an asshole, so not much changes.

― Ned Raggett, Sunday, 26 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

On the plus side — this may not play in Sweden but it sure plays in my place — he is called Yngwie! YNGWIE!!

Plus if y're not much bothered by the flash vs substance argt in the first place, who wd you prefer to turn to? Satriani? Puh-leeze! And besides if ya rule out the assholes who's left?

― mark s, Sunday, 26 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

because being reminded of the things you hated with a passion can remind you of the tings you liked?...works just like straight ahead nostalgia. Yngwie is a key to your past!

― jel, Sunday, 26 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I never saw the word masturbatory in a review till I read a Ywngie letter

― Ronan, Monday, 27 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

The world would be a more interesting place if more plank-spankers tried to copy Yngwie and less tried to copy that fucking jangly sound that 'anyone' can do. (Cue thousands of flanneled [US] or shellsuited [UK] guitarists mumbling the indie mantra "Guitar playing should fit the song...")Doesn't anybody get sick of root-fifths? Why do sax players never get the 'jerk-off' thing thrown at them? As for the charge of self-indulgence, anybody who writes a song or plays it for public consumption and expects anybody to listen to it is being 'self- indulgent'. As for the charges of 'egomania', self-effacement is fantastic in lamas, duller than shit in 'artists'. That being said, I tried to listen to Yngwie but couldn't get past the ridiculous "I Am a Viking" lyrics and vocals. "Black Star" rools tho

― dave q, Monday, 27 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

That's 'lamas' as in 'holy men', not the things with 'fur'

― dave q, Monday, 27 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

For the longest time, my best friend had me convinced that Yngwie had actually changed his middle name to Fucking.

― Luptune Pitman, Monday, 27 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

luptune, is your best friend's name Brian Kenny Fresno?

― gary, Wednesday, 29 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

More interesting to me even than the interesting question of Yngwie Fucking Malmsteen is why dave q scare-quotes 'fur' above when talking about llamas.

― Tom, Wednesday, 29 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Possibly because of "[email protected]". But I can't claim to have any kind of accurate handle on what goes on in Dave Q's mind.

― Mitch Lastnamewithheld, Wednesday, 29 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

(conceptual are-you-awake-at-the-back gag referencing long-ago dq post where he by mistake scare-quoted one word too many and apologised next post: thrust of joke resides in obvious lyrical nonsense of presence of mouse-ears on the word fur in this context)

Also don't llamas have wool?

― mark s, Wednesday, 29 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

one year passes...

UNLEASH A FUCKING THREAD! UNLEASH A FUCKING THREAD!!

― Tad (llamasfur), Saturday, 14 December 2002 12:05 (twenty-three years ago)

He says released, not unleashed.

― , Saturday, 14 December 2002 13:47 (twenty-three years ago)

pedant

― Tad (llamasfur), Saturday, 14 December 2002 19:59 (twenty-three years ago)

How do you even say his name anyway?

― Ally (mlescaut), Sunday, 15 December 2002 05:42 (twenty-three years ago)

ING-VAY MALM-SHTEEN

― chaki (chaki), Sunday, 15 December 2002 05:53 (twenty-three years ago)

Yung-Why Mom Steh-ehn

― Tom Millar (Millar), Sunday, 15 December 2002 05:56 (twenty-three years ago)

BRY-en EE-no

― Joe (Joe), Sunday, 15 December 2002 06:01 (twenty-three years ago)

You are all wrong.

― , Sunday, 15 December 2002 15:15 (twenty-three years ago)

four months pass...

"Far Beyond the Sun" roxx u r all gay

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Thursday, 8 May 2003 01:18 (twenty-three years ago)

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